by Blue Saffire
I scrub a hand down my face. “Please do me a favor. Don’t try to take these guys on.”
“Aye, ya listen to Kev. And remember ya have no friends there anymore. Ya don’t know who’s who to trust a soul. Do yer job and keep yer head down,” Quinn adds.
“If that’s all, ladies, I need to be off. I have a flight to catch,” I say as I stretch.
“Don’t know who yer calling a lady. Ya might want to go home to shower and change yer clothes, by the way. Ya had that same shit on yesterday,” Quinn says with a grin.
“I thought it was me,” Cal says, scratching his head.
“Nope, not ya at all. Someone has been chasing a pair of kex. About time, maybe ya’ll stop being a pain in my arse.”
I flip my older brother the bird. “Fuck off.”
He has a lot of nerve. Quinn rarely ever dates. We both have our reasons.
I think back to last night. I haven’t ever had a connection with anyone like I did with Danita. I want to see her again. This trip can’t go by fast enough.
Chapter 4
Blowing Off Steam
Kevin
Two years later…
Sweat drips down my bare back as I throw another combination at the heavy bag before me. I hit the bag so hard, the impact vibrates up my arm. Good. That’s just what I need.
I need to feel the pain to help with this guilt that’s eating me up. Someone hurt my baby sister. I wasn’t there for her. None of us were. I haven’t been able to swallow that fact. It burns deep within my chest that the one thing I do best, I didn’t do when it came to Erin.
“Fuck!” I roar into my gym.
I grab the punching bag and use it for support as I bury my face into it. My body hums with the abuse I’ve been putting it through every morning since this shit storm with Erin. My brain is fatigued from all of the questions I’ve bent and twisted and still haven’t resolved.
I need answers.
It’s been three weeks since Erin and Cal were shot in front of their home. Three weeks with no damn solid leads in sight. Whatever Cal got himself into, he buried it just like I’d like to do him.
Cal has always been a fuckup. He means well, but he has a hot head and he leads with his emotions. Yet, I never saw something like this coming. Cal always knew my brothers and I would follow him to hell and back if something bad were to happen to our sister or her children.
Yet Erin is lying in a hospital bed.
I shove at the heavy bag in frustration, reaching to wipe at my tears. I can fall apart here. I don’t have to pretend to be tough for my brothers or in front of my nephew and the girls. I can allow myself to admit this shit hurts.
“I’m sorry, Erin. Ya just have to wake up, love. I’ll get them all. I promise,” I sob as if my sister were here to hear me.
I shake out my arms and go back to punishing my body. I’m taking this shit harder today than I have in the last few weeks. It’s probably because I woke to an alert for the lunch Erin and I had planned together for this afternoon.
She wanted me to help with the permits and booking the bouncy house and some other things she had in mind for Kasey’s birthday party. I have a few connections that would make things easier on my sister while planning my niece’s dream party. I’d find a way to rent a chariot from heaven if Erin asked and Kasey wanted one.
I clench my jaw as I throw one last punch to get out as much frustration as I can. Silence fills the room as I stand with my chest soaked and heaving. My eyes are fixed on nothing at all. I can’t seem to see past my rage this morning.
“This day will be just grand,” I huff and drag my worn-out body upstairs to shower before the reno crew arrives for the day.
Thanks to Erin, this place will be finished soon. It won’t be the same to have it done without her. I have no idea where to put all the furniture she ordered. That’s her thing. I pay for it, and she makes it happen.
My mind buzzes with all the things I need to get done today. I’ll make a few calls to book the things I remember Erin mentioning. We still have plenty of time, but my sister’s a planner. She’ll be back to us in time for Kasey’s birthday.
I keep telling myself those words because they’re what I need to keep me moving forward. This has to end with my sister opening her eyes to be there for her children. I can’t see this any other way.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I walk over to the bench I placed it on. It’s my little brother Shane. Hopefully he has some news on the leads I gave him.
If I had something to sink my teeth into, I could distract myself from my worry and thoughts. We need a solid thread to follow. I answer the call as I wipe sweat from my forehead.
“You have something for me?”
He releases a heavy breath. “No. All dead ends. I’ve double-checked everything you gave me,” he replies.
“Fuck,” I hiss. “The black book I found, nothing?”
“Nothing. Those were old Blackhart Security and Investigations clients that Debbie was able to match up with files over the last two years he’s worked for us since he left the force. All his cases. Nothing dodgy about it.”
I blow out an exasperated breath and clench my jaw. We’re not getting answers from the police and our investigation has yet to grow legs. Three weeks later, and we’re right where we started.
Tension knots in my shoulders. My head hurts. None of us are functioning the way we normally would. We’re too close to this, and our worry for Erin might be clouding our focus. We all know it; we just haven’t said it out loud.
“Okay. You stay on it. Quinn is bound to see what we’re missing.”
“Yeah, I’m banking on that. He’ll see the missing pieces. I’ve never been more grateful for that brain of his. He’ll give us a link soon,” Shane says. “I need your approval on a few things at the office. You coming in today?”
“Aye, I’ll be there. Need to head to Quinn’s to pick the kids up for school. I’m trying to take the load off so he can think. The sooner he can start putting pieces together, the sooner this puzzle will fall into place for him.”
“Okay, I’m going to look at these videos again. Maybe I’m missing something.”
“Don’t be hard on yourself, Shane. This is on all of us. We’ll all work to figure it out,” I say, hearing in his voice the pressure he’s putting on himself.
“Aye, I miss her. I went to call her last night and realized I couldn’t. This never should’ve happened.”
“Aye, yer right. It shouldn’t have. She’s a strong lass, bro. We’ll see her through this, and we’ll find the ones that put her in that hospital bed. Erin is too stubborn to give up.”
He sighs. “I’ll see you when you get in. I think I’ll head to the hospital to take Mum and Da lunch.”
“Sounds good. Call me if anything new comes up.”
“Aye, will do.”
He ends the call, and I stand staring into space. There has to be something we’re missing. I don’t want to put all the pressure on Quinn to fit this together. We need to all do our parts.
“I need to do my part,” I mutter to myself.
* * *
Danita
“Hey,” Maureen says as she walks up beside me. I pause and hold the heavy bag to keep it from moving.
I nod. “What’s up?”
“Heard you still haven’t been assigned a partner. That’s bullshit, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. I also know they’re going to get away with it for as long as they can.” I shrug.
“You’re a good cop. I hate what they’re trying to do to you. Keep your head up,” she says and walks off.
Maureen used to be one of the good ones. However, this place has corrupted her, much like many of the others. Once she was promoted to detective, things changed. I was a bit disappointed to find out she has become a part of
the ring.
I frown. I’ve heard whispers of its name, but nothing that’s concrete. They are like ghosts that make plenty of noise, but you never see them.
Getting inside is still a wall I haven’t breached. I’ve tried before, but I’ve had no luck. Besides, that hasn’t seemed like a good idea since Eric has gone missing. I’m too vulnerable. I don’t have a way out.
As I return to my workout, sweat drips from my face, and my muscles are starting to ache. I spin and kick the heavy bag before me. My focus is on my morning routine as I try to think my way through my next steps.
What went down with Cal Kelley was foul. There’s blood in the water and the sharks are out to play. The question is: Are they going to invite me into the game? Better yet, are they even aware they should? Now that’s the million-dollar question.
My guess is that my cover has yet to be blown. My blood begins to boil as I think of all the signs that Cal was getting in way over his head. I never should have agreed to his help. Especially not the part where he kept me so far out of the loop.
My gaze scans the gym as I bounce in place, my hands up to guard my face as if someone here will strike at any moment. That’s the thing. It’s more likely than not that they will.
Five years and nothing has changed. I still don’t trust anyone here. I can’t afford to. I’ve been waiting for someone to try to pump me full of lead since hearing about Cal. It’s why I haven’t gone looking for answers as of yet.
That stops today.
If they were going to come for me, they would have done it by now. Still, I plan to proceed with caution. I don’t want to take any more drama to the Kelley door. I have to be careful about this.
I think I know where to get my answers. I hate to start with the kid, but he’s my strongest lead. Cal got sloppy somehow, and I think the kid can shed light on a few things, whether he knows it or not.
With my plan in mind, I stop to wipe my forearm across my sweaty forehead. I roll my shoulders to release some of the tension. I’m as relaxed as I’m going to get. That is until the bane of my existence speaks from behind me.
“Fuck, Moralez. When are you going to let me take you out, sweetheart?” Detective Harris croons.
“Not interested. You know, it’s time you get your ears checked. I’ve told you this…repeatedly,” I call over my shoulder, not bothering to spare him a glance.
He steps up behind. “I’m telling you, we’d be great together.” He runs his fingers down my arm.
I spin on my heels and glare at him. “Don’t touch me.”
He tosses his hands up in the air before him. That cocky smile is on his face. “Calm down, champ.” He chuckles.
I’ve watched women fall at his feet, not me. His arrogance makes my skin crawl. It’s not sexy; it makes him come off like a douche. Although you can’t tell him that.
The fact that he thinks it’s appropriate to touch me in a work environment speaks volumes about him and this place. These guys think they can say and do just about anything to us female officers, and we’re just supposed to take it. Well, that’s never going to happen when it comes to me.
I demand respect. I may be stuck here, but I’m not going to be harassed because of the fact. Since Eric disappeared, it has taken everything in me not to say screw it all. I should be making friends to continue to build this case, but sometimes I want to be like fuck it; I couldn’t care less about connecting with anyone here.
Too bad my entire life and career have been on the line for the last two years. I can’t afford to close off. I need to find an out. I was moved to the new apartment and then a month later…nothing. I haven’t heard from or seen Eric since. I don’t know if something happened to him because of the case or if something else went down.
Danita Moralez doesn’t exist outside of this world, so I can’t pop up into the Bureau claiming to be her, or Demaris Mercado. At least not after that conversation Eric and I had revealing the involvement of someone in the Bureau. I can’t jeopardize everyone’s life, or this case.
I’m a ghost.
This case was never supposed to exist for others to find. It was always understood that what’s been happening in this precinct has a longer reach than a few beat cops and detectives on this peninsula. Oh, no, this group is tied into some heavy shit, and one wrong person getting wind of this investigation could cost me my life.
So although I don’t give a crap about friendships, I’ve maintained my cover and involvement. However, I’m still not trying to get tangled with Harris. I ignore the bullshit and do my damn job, waiting to find the opportunity to get out.
I open my mouth to put Harris in his place, but I’m cut off by my sergeant’s voice. “Moralez, my office. Now.”
I glare at Harris one last time before I turn and leave. I’m sure we’ll finish this little conversation another time. Harris likes to push my buttons.
“Asshole,” I mutter to myself.
In the last two years, I’ve been waiting to get something on this dude. He’s always around the usual players. Eric had been most interested in him as well. Harris is the one I think knows enough to get me the airtight case I need.
At first, I had my focus on him so I’d have everything in place when Eric returned. Once it started to become clear I might be in this alone, I figured if I could nail Harris and get a hook into the big fish back at headquarters, I’d be willing to risk a move to get the hell out of here. Then I’d have whoever the asshole is by the balls.
For two years, I’ve waited for Eric to get me out, but I’m starting to think that ship has sailed. I’m going to have to take the risk sooner or later on my own.
I sigh. My thoughts turn to Cal. I need to know what he found out. That’s the key to this being over.
Oh well, for now, let’s see what fresh hell awaits me before I can go do some real digging.
Chapter 5
Hardhead
Kevin
“Did ya get my text this morning?” Quinn asks as I walk into his kitchen.
“Aye,” I grunt, still in a foul mood since my workout.
“Can ya have answers for me by the afternoon?”
“I’ll see what I can dig up after dropping everyone off,” I say.
“Are you guys talking about something to do with Mom and Dad?” Con asks from the kitchen island.
“Mind yer own,” I say quickly, looking over at the wee lasses in the kitchen nook.
Just as I thought, Molly and Kasey are now looking in our direction expectantly. I detour from the plate Quinn set on the countertop for me. We’ve been doing our best to keep the wee ones distracted from what’s been going on. Something Con is well aware of.
“Where’s Mckenna?” I ask.
“She’s still getting ready,” Quinn replies, the exasperation clear in his voice.
I’ll admit, it’s been an adjustment to deal with two teenagers and two wee ones that are going on thirty. Mckenna spends almost two hours in the bathroom in the mornings. I’ve timed her. Thank God my rental apartment has more than one bathroom.
I’ve been staying in a rental when it’s my turn to keep the kids. My house is under construction and no place to have children. All of this has been unexpected, but we’re each doing what we can to make sure the kids are safe and comfortable.
“Good morning, Uncle Kevin.” Kasey and Molly giggle as I tickle them both and kiss their little cheeks.
“Good morning, loves. Eat up. I’ll be getting ya all to school this morning.”
“I can get myself to school,” Conroy says.
“That might be true, but I’ll be taking ya nonetheless,” I reply before moving to shove a bagel into my mouth.
“I’m sixteen, not six.”
I narrow my eyes at Con, but I don’t reply. Today wouldn’t be the day to try me. Conroy has been stretching his boundaries more and more wi
th each day.
My patience is too thin to deal with him and his bullshit this morning. I try to sympathize with his plight, but we’re all feeling this situation in one way or another. Con is old enough to understand the tension that’s surrounding the family at the moment.
The fact that he has been pushing our buttons has been getting stuck in my craw. Layin’ boots to him is the last thing I want to do. I know he’s down about what’s going on with his parents, but he’s right on the cusp of me not giving a fuck. The disrespect is going to stop, and soon.
“Ya keep testing me if ya want,” I warn as he continues to stare me down.
“All I said was that I’m sixteen. Why can’t I get to school on my own?”
“Because we need to look after ya for the time being,” Quinn replies tightly.
“I can take care of myself,” Con says, puffing his chest out.
There are birds with more meat. He wants to grow up so fast. One day he’ll figure out that these are the years to enjoy instead of pissing them away being angry and trying to make everyone else angry.
“Why are we having this discussion again?” I ask.
“You guys never listen to me. If I were Mckenna, it wouldn’t be a big deal. The girls can do nothing wrong, but it’s always a problem when it’s me. I can get to school on my own. I’ll be driving myself soon,” Conroy says defiantly.
“Con, this is not the time,” Quinn chides.
“I’m smarter than you guys think.”
“Ya sure about that? Because ya will be toothless if ya keep running yer gub,” I bite out.
“See, you’re still not listening to me,” he huffs.
“Maybe that’s because yer the same kid that’s been cutting school to hang in yer parents’ basement. Or how about the fights ya keep getting yerself into? Aye, ya didn’t think we knew about that,” I say when his cheeks turn red. “Ya keep playing us all for yer stooks. A fool, I’ll be for no one. Trust me, Con. Today is not the day.”
