In Deep (The Blackhart Brothers)

by Blue Saffire

  “I saw my brothers for the first time in five years. I knew it would be hard, but not as hard as it was,” she replies.

  “I’m sure that wasn’t easy for any of you.”

  “They thought I was dead. The files on the laptop say that I’ve been dead to them for two years,” she chokes out.

  It takes her a few minutes to gather her thoughts before she starts to tell me everything she found on the laptop. I listen quietly, squeezing her in my embrace to comfort her as she makes the picture clearer for me.

  “We’ve always had a code,” she says when she starts to tell me how she ended up here. “If one of us was undercover and needed help, we’d text our nicknames and a location. Emilio, or Emil as we call him, my oldest brother, has been on the force for a long time. He’s seen a lot of things go down. Especially when it comes to African American and Afro-Latino officers. He has always drilled us on watching our backs. Our father was in law enforcement. We all wanted to be like him.” She snorts.

  “He was so pissed to find out that I was going to follow him too.” She pauses to sigh and kiss my chest. “The burner phone I used to text my brothers went crazy when I finally sent the text I should’ve sent two years ago.”

  “I have a question. Why didn’t you call on them sooner?”

  “On top of the threat to their lives, I put it off for so long because I didn’t want to feel like a failure. All three of my brothers are decorated in their fields. All through Quantico, I had to live in Diego’s shadow,” she says, then shakes her head before she continues. “Although I know calling them now was the right thing to do, I still feel like a failure.”

  I palm her face and turn her head up until our eyes meet. “Where have you failed? You survived for two years and built a case with Cal to bring this all to a head. I know Cal. He was holding that file on you for a reason. We’ll figure that out, and then you can move on with your life, but you’re not a failure.”

  Lifting up, she presses her lips to mine. “How did I get so lucky?”

  She looks down at me with a sparkle in her eyes. I can still see the sadness in her depths, but she’s happier than she was when she opened the door for me. I brush my finger across her lower lip before sitting up to taste her sweet mouth.

  It doesn’t take long for the kiss to heat up. I haven’t been able to keep my hands off her since I arrived. Reaching for her ass, I seat her in my lap.

  “I’m the lucky one.” I drag my thumb from her temple to her chin. “I’ve talked with my brothers. Now that we know that Alicia’s situation wasn’t connected to Cal, we’re letting up on the lockdown. We can move back into our place permanently.”

  Her shoulders sag. I already know what’s coming. I’ve been preparing myself for this. She’s going to try to place that wedge between us, but I won’t allow it.

  “Once Emil and Diego can clear me, I’m going to need to go home.” She furrows her brows and murmurs, “Wherever that is.”

  “Have you stopped to think that maybe home is wherever I am?”

  She blinks those long lashes as her amber eyes fix on me. I rub soothing circles on her back, already starting to grow hard beneath her. I ignore my growing desire, placing my forehead to hers.

  “Kevin.” Her voice comes out as almost a whisper.

  I pull back to meet her gaze again. Her word sounds too heavy for me not to read her face. There is a war going on and a storm brewing.

  “Say it, love. What’s on your mind?”

  “I have to find my way back to me. I’m so confused on what or who that is. My mind is telling me to let you go so I can do that, but my heart’s telling me I can do it with you. That I might actually need you to do it with me.” She frowns and puffs out her cheeks and lips.

  “I’m going to need you to tell me to stay. Not Danita. I need you to tell Demaris to stay because my old life will tug at me, and I need a reason not to go back to what I know.”

  “Stay,” I say and nip her lip. I grasp her throat and tug her into me. “Stay. Demaris, stay.”

  This time when I make love to her, I make it clear that I can’t live without her.

  Chapter 34

  Show Your Hand

  Kevin

  It’s been a month and this meeting is long overdue. Dugan stands with his hands in his pockets looking as if this is the last place he wants to be. I can’t unclench my jaw as Quinn and I walk over to him.

  As Quinn’s godfather and our dad’s long-time friend, we thought we could count on him. We’ve always been there for him. As the police chief, we thought he would come through for us. The fact that this is the first time we’re hearing from him since he gave Quinn that useless file on Cal is beyond me.

  “This place smells like horse shit,” I grumble.

  “Aye, it would. They’ve been using the place to auction black market horses,” Quinn replies. “Drugs and horses. Nice bust.”

  Dugan frowns and rolls his shoulders. I narrow my eyes at him, taking him in once again. This time, I note how tired he looks, the bags under his eyes aren’t normal for him. His eyes are red as well. He hasn’t slept in days.

  “I’d like to know how you can find a ring of horse traders in Queens, but you can’t find my sister and brother-in-law’s shooters right in your own backyard.”

  “Kevin,” Quinn grunts.

  I fold my arms over my chest and glare at a man I once had respect for. It’s waning with every passing day. I’m still trying to figure out why Dugan thought it was a good idea to take off for a month without saying a word. I thought we were closer than that.

  “You know as well as I do this was Danita’s case. I had nothing to do with the groundwork or the bust,” Dugan says. “Listen, I know you guys have been trying to get answers from me.”

  “You think?” I say and step toward him.

  Quinn places a hand on my chest. I take a breath and move back. Cracking my knuckles, I try to reel it in.

  “You boys know I see you as my own. Erin is like a daughter to me. I’ve been doing all I can. You have no idea how far this shit reaches,” Dugan says.

  “That’s funny. You can’t be too worried. It’s seems you took off for a vacation out of the blue,” I growl.

  “It seems,” he barks back. “Seems is the word you need to pay attention to. I need to make things look a certain way. Do you understand the pile of shit we’ve all landed in the middle of?”

  “We’ve been waiting for ya to tell us,” Quinn says, folding his arms cross his chest. “That little file you gave me felt more like a distraction than any help.”

  “It was supposed to be a distraction. There’s an FBI agent hiding in my department.” I stiffen at his words. He still doesn’t know who Dem is. “Someone blew the whistle and an agent was dropped into the precinct. I don’t know who they are or if they’re still here. If there is a chance that someone can clean up this shit show without getting killed, I want it done. I couldn’t chance you boys getting in the way of that. I’m sorry about what happened to Erin and Cal. Cal’s a good kid. He’s trying to do the right thing, but he’s gotten us all in a bind with this, and I’m covering as many tracks as I can,” Dugan grits out.

  “How do you fit into all of this?” I ask.

  “I’m trying to keep my fucking job and my life. You think I don’t know how corrupt that place is? I told you boys not to join the force in the first place. Whoever blew the whistle isn’t the first. I’ve tried to have that place cleaned out my damn self, and I was told to shut up and do my job or I’d find myself without one and behind bars or worse. This goes higher up than me or the commissioner. Pockets deeper than the Atlantic. I’m no match for that. I do what I can, but I know my limits,” he says and pulls a tired, sour face.

  “So how do ya know that there’s an agent lurking?” Quinn asks the same thing that’s on my mind.

  “I told you. I
’ve put in calls to have the place cleaned up myself. It was blocked at every turn, but I bent the ear of a friend or two before I got shut down. They couldn’t give me details, but the word was that someone was being sent in. A few rookies and transfers showed up around then. No one that stood out, but I was pretty sure that they arrived. Then about a year and a half ago, Cal started to pop up on my radar. I didn’t know what he was up to. I thought maybe you guys had a case he was working on. Perhaps one of the boys was helping him out with it. He started popping up at the bar and around some of my questionable guys. That’s when I started to pay more attention. He was onto something.”

  “How do you know that?” I say.

  “I cornered him. If he wanted to keep working my precinct, I wanted to know what he was working on. He wouldn’t tell me who his person was. Only that he was working with an FBI agent, and he planned to blow the whole thing open with him,” he replies and drags a hand down his face.

  “I should have stopped him, then. The kid just had this look in his eyes. I know what they did to him. He deserved justice. Cal was a good cop. Now, I’m covering his ass, mine, and whoever he was helping.” Dugan huffs and rubs the back of his neck.

  “All right, I’ll bite. What do you have for us now?” I say.

  “While on vacation, I did some fishing, if you know what I mean,” Dugan says. “No one seems to know shit, nothing useful anyway. I’m getting mixed stories. I was told a task force was created, then there was a small secret team, and the last I heard was that it died before it could get started. Now none of that adds up.

  “My buddy that was trying to push through all the red tape had a mysterious seizure and…I owe his wife some flowers. I don’t think Cal was lying to me. He may not have wanted to give up a name, but there was an agent working with him. My gut tells me to believe that much.”

  I turn to look at Quinn. He nods slightly. There has been something foul about this case from the time Danita took it. Her brother has told her the same thing. All the names she was able to give him that initially knew about the case are dead or have moved up and won’t say a word about it.

  Someone wants Demaris Mercado to stay buried. From the names in Cal’s files, it could be any one of the wealthy scumbags on that list calling in favors to make it happen. However, I don’t think that’s the case.

  “Cal was on to something,” Quinn says. “However, he didn’t complete it or at least he never got to document the last pieces. We need to fill in the blanks.”

  Three blanks to be exact. There are three major players Cal didn’t get to list. Something tells me those three names are our keys to who shot Erin and Cal as well as the person behind all that has been going on with Demaris as far as the files on that laptop are concerned.

  I think if we want to find out what happened to Cal and Erin, we have to go back a little further into Demaris’s case. One doesn’t exist without the other.

  “Whatever you boys think you have, you better make sure you can make it stick. These are not little petty criminals. If this blows up, it’s going to blow up big,” he warns. He draws in a deep breath. “Tell me how I can help. I’ll give you everything I’ve got.”

  * * *

  Danita

  “Dem.” It feels so good to hear my real name.

  Molly’s sweet giggle fills the room as I tickle her. The kids have been staying with us for the week. Tonight, us girls are making a girls’ night of it while Conroy spends time up in the new room Kevin gave him. Mckenna called Alicia and invited her over too.

  “This is so much fun,” Molly says as I return to painting her toenails.

  “It is. This is such a pretty color on you.”

  “Thank you,” she says and wiggles her toes.

  I look up at her pretty little smile. It’s good to see her smiling. It’s something that’s missing all too often with these children, and I totally get why.

  Which brings my attention to Kasey. She’s sitting off by herself with her knees tugged into her chest and her cheek resting against them as she faces away from us.

  “Kasey, are you okay?” Alicia asks as she lifts her head from Mckenna painting her fingernails.

  When Kasey lifts her head and turns to us, her face is covered in sadness. My heart aches before she has a chance to express what’s the matter. However, when she speaks, it shatters into a million pieces.

  “I wish Mommy were here to have fun with us,” she says softly.

  “Oh, honey. I’m sure she wants to be here too, but she’s getting strong so that she can hang out and do stuff with all of us,” I reply.

  “Right, she’s getting strong for your birthday party,” Mckenna adds.

  This seems to tip Kasey over the edge. Her little lips start to tremble, and tears fall down her cheeks. As fast as she tries to wipe them away, more roll down her face.

  “I don’t want that stupid party,” she sobs.

  I turn to Molly and nod to let her know I’m finished with her toes and excuse myself. She returns the nod and scoots back on the couch, drawing her knees into her chest. Her smile from moments ago is now gone as she looks at her crying sister.

  Standing, I go over to where Kasey has been sitting. I take a seat on the floor next to her and she throws herself into my lap, holding onto my neck tightly. I wrap my arms around her and give her a good squeeze.

  “You were so excited. What happened? Uncle Kevin went to get the dress you picked out last week. Your mom and Auntie Ali have been working on all the cool stuff you wanted.”

  She sniffles and pulls back to look at me. “I’ve been waiting. I thought Daddy would be back by now. He’s not. He’s going to miss it. I don’t want to have it without him,” she says then gets up to cross the room, retrieving her tablet.

  When she returns, she sits back in my lap with her back to my chest and snuggles in. Tapping the screen, she brings the device to life and starts to play a video. The YouTube video is of a little girl dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast and a man—I’m assuming to be the girl’s father—dressed as the Beast.

  It’s the cutest, sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. They dance together while in the costumes. Everyone cheers them on. Tears come to my eyes as I begin to understand Kasey’s point. Despite the fact that every single one of her uncles would fall over themselves to do this for her, she wants it to be her father.

  I palm her forehead and kiss the top of her curls. I understand this so much. Although my brothers have asked about Kevin and my relationship, I want my father to meet him first and to get to know him.

  I can only image how this little one feels. Her father is her hero, and he’s not going to be there for one of the biggest moments she’s been dreaming of. My throat clogs with emotion, causing me to have to clear it before I speak.

  “Sweetie, if you don’t want to have the party, we can talk to your mom and tell her. I’m sure she’ll understand,” I say and look to Alicia to make sure I’m saying the right thing.

  “I know she will,” Alicia reassures her.

  “I want to wait for Daddy. I’m not having it without him,” Kasey says.

  My heart twists, shattered pieces and all. I don’t have it in me to tell her that could mean she will never have a party at all. Even if he does wake, there’s no telling if he’ll ever be able to dress up and dance with her. Keeping that all to myself, I say a silent prayer that Cal recovers.

  “Who wants hot fudge brownie sundaes?” I look up to find Kevin with his eyes on me.

  I didn’t hear him come in. I’d been anticipating his return. He gives me a nod and mouths, Thank you.

  All drama is forgotten by the girls as they jump up and run into the kitchen. Still lost in my feelings, I get up to follow them. Alicia touches my hand to halt me.

  “You said all the right things. You’ll make a great mom someday,” she whispers and winks at me.


  I reach to touch her new little bump. It’s so funny how fast it has popped. She gives me a gentle smile.

  “I’ll leave that to you for now.”

  She laughs and heads into the kitchen where Con and Sunny have shown up, and the girls are now giggling and laughing in the middle of a lively conversation. Kevin tugs me into his arms and plants a kiss on my lips. I smile up at him. He looks tired and annoyed.

  “Meeting didn’t go well?”

  He kisses my lips again. “You let me worry about that. Tonight, we talk about anything but that meeting or anything that has anything to do with it.”

  Seeing how frustrated he looks, I don’t argue. Things have been quiet for the most part. Strange things have happened, like finding one of my tires flat and that one time Sunny wouldn’t stop barking while Kevin and I were having sex in the shower.

  After, when I let Sunny out, it looked like the flower beds were disturbed on the side of the house. I shrugged both incidents off. Especially since the notes stopped and Harris has been keeping his distance.

  I had been to the car wash before the flat; it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gotten a nail in a tire after that. As for the flower beds, although he hates the idea, Kevin may need to fence the front of his property. His neighbors have an annoying dog that they allow to roam the neighborhood freely. I swear, if he jumps his little ass at Sunny one more time, I’m slipping his owners in cuffs. They’ve been warned.

  So honestly, I don’t want to seem paranoid. If anything, the fact that I’ve been closing more cases and making more busts would piss Harris off and make him more jealous, which would have escalated the stalking behavior. It hasn’t. Something has changed, but I’m still keeping an eye on him.

  “Auntie Dem, can you help me make my sundae?” Kasey calls as she comes running over to us.

  My mouth drops open. All the kids call Alicia, Auntie Ali. They have never referred to me as such. Kasey takes my hand and looks up at me expectantly.

  Kevin chuckles then slaps my ass and kisses my temple. “Get to it, Auntie Dem. We can’t keep the wee ones waiting.”