Kill the Power Gamer

by Eric Vall

  “Hobbies?” I echoed. “You play those military simulations for fun?”

  Tony reached into the large brown sack and then produced a small white and red box that was more narrow on the bottom than the top. It was folded over into itself, and it had a silver handle at the top. Next to it, the dark-haired man placed a tiny white bag, along with a four-pronged plastic tool.

  “First-person shooters and fighters aren’t all I play,” Tony protested. “What kinda gamer would I be if I only played one genre? I dabble in a little bit of everything. Real-time strategy, arcade co-op, speed-running platformers, puzzle adventure. You know, all the good stuff that’ll bring in the viewers.”

  “So, you use that camera on your monitor to record yourself running through these simulations, and they give you money?” I asked as I tried to comprehend why humans would enjoy watching other humans play games.

  “Something like that,” he replied with a smile. “Twitch’s algorithm is really strange, but I know more viewers equals more money, and I’m nowhere near where I need to be on my viewer count.”

  Tony popped open his box, and steam rose up from the inside. Without warning, my nostrils were struck with an intense scent of spice mixed with nuts and wet starch.

  I ordered my scanners to analyze the contents of the package, but the query came back empty. I’d never seen anything like that before in my life.

  “What is it?” I questioned.

  “It’s Pad Thai,” he explained. “AKA, some of the best food on the planet. Let me give you a quick tour of the exotic experience that’s about to go on in your mouth. First, there’s the rice noodles. This place always fries ‘em up nice and tender, that way they almost melt in your mouth but still hold onto their greasy and saucy flavor. Then there’s the vegetables, which are your standard asian stir fry stuff. You know, bean sprouts, chives, carrots, water chestnuts, etcetera, etcetera. But what really sets it apart from its Chinese food compadres are the freaking peanuts. So, they take a bunch of peanuts, crumble them up, and then sprinkle ‘em on the top. It gives the whole thing a little crunch, and it’s freaking orgasmic!”

  “The food gives you an orgasm?” I asked as I popped open my own container.

  Tony doubled over laughing, slapped his leg, and then wiped a tear from his eye. He started to speak, but then he burst out in another fit of laughter.

  “It’s an expression,” he chuckled through his tears. “I can say with one-hundred percent certainty I’ve never gotten off while eating Thai food. Though, there is a first time for everything. There’s only one way to find out!”

  Tony motioned to my container and then picked up his plastic tool and went to work. He stabbed it into the wiry material, twisted it with a crank of his wrist, and then raised a large spiral of it up to his mouth. He slurped the food off the utensil, chewed for a moment, and then swallowed as his eyes rolled back into his head.

  “Are you sure you didn’t just orgasm?” I couldn’t help but ask when I saw his reaction.

  “Just try it,” he pleaded again.

  “Very well.” Carefully, I picked up the four-pronged utensil and then lowered it down into the container. I mimicked Tony’s motion until I had a full spiral of what he’d called “noodles,” and then I raised it up to my lips.

  I’d never eaten real food before. The Hive had created me to need the things humans required, like sleep and sustenance, but anything with caloric value would keep my body functioning. So, The Hive typically “fed” me a nutrient enriched beverage, instead of the roasted rats and other animals the Resistance could scrounge up for themselves. I’d never known anything else, so I never saw an issue with my “meals.”

  But when I opened my mouth and pushed the food inside, I instantly felt its spice against my tongue. My eyes watered, and my sinuses cleared as I crunched the tangy, greasy mound of noodles around and then swallowed them down my throat. Even though it felt like my entire tongue was on fire, a slew of other feelings came over me.

  Satisfaction and joy.

  Was this what it was always like to consume real food? If so, I could see why the humans did it so much.

  “What do ya think?” Tony asked with a large grin on his face.

  “It’s quite good,” I admitted, and it wasn’t a lie. “Better than anything I’ve eaten in recent years.”

  “Wait till you try the spring roll,” he promised. “Thai Palace likes to pack the little guys extra tight with carrots, bean sprouts, celery, and all sorts of herbs. But, most importantly… it’s fried.”

  I pulled out the small cylindrical object from the bag on my left and immediately noticed it was leaving an oily substance on my fingertips. The thing was warm in my hand, and my sensors indicated it was some sort of vegetable-stuffed dough that had been superheated in oil.

  I put it up to my mouth, crunched down on the shell, and then tried to savor the contents as they swirled around in my mouth.

  The residual grease from the shell seemed to be absorbed by the greens inside of the roll, and the entire thing blended together in a delightful mix of crunch and herbal flavor. I swallowed the “spring roll” and then gave Tony a nod of approval.

  “See?” he said as he leaned back in his chair. “I may be a cheap date, but I know how to satisfy a woman.”

  “Ahh,” I replied as I set down the roll, “you used a double entendre. Clever.”

  “Shit. Didn’t mean to.” Tony’s lips pursed with embarrassment, and his eyes darted up to the ceiling as he let out a long sigh.

  “Oh?” I asked as I stared into his eyes.

  “You know what I meant,” he chuckled. “Kevin’s right, I really need to work on my phrasing.”

  Suddenly, I realized my “in.” Maybe if I could get Tony talking about his work associates, he would open up and reveal the other people he knew.

  Most importantly, women who could serve as potential mates.

  “Kevin sure is a strange man, is he not?” I prodded as I finished off the spring roll. “He is kind of high-strung.”

  “That’s just his personality,” Tony admitted with a shrug. “He’s one of those busy-bodies who always has to be doing something. I swear he thinks he’ll turn to stone if he sits still for more than five seconds. But he’s really fun to hang out with, and he’s as big of a nerd as me. He’s been my best friend since we met in college all those years ago.”

  “Do you have any other friends?” I continued. “Such a talented guy like you seems like he would be the life of the party wherever he went.”

  “Ha!” Tony guffawed. “Good one, Hannah. But seriously, I don’t. I mean, there are a few people from work or my college days I’ll hang out with occasionally, but I’d just consider them casual acquaintances.”

  “What about Renee?” I suggested. “The two of you seem to be quite talkative when you’re at work.”

  Suddenly, Tony’s heart rate began to rise, and his underarms started to perspire. He was nervous.

  “Renee?” he chuckled. “She’s my boss. Why would I ever want to hang out with my boss outside of work? That’s like, crazy talk.”

  I gave the dark-haired man a side-eyed stare and then watched him squirm in his seat.

  “You’re infatuated with her, aren’t you?” I asked him point-blank.

  “Whaaaaaa?” Tony retorted with a high-pitched voice. “No. Noooooo. Nonononono.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you were,” I said. “She is very beautiful.”

  “This is totally not the direction I thought this date was headed,” he said through a forced chuckle. “I can promise you, Hannah, at this point in time my thoughts are all on you.”

  Another wave of strange warmth washed over me, but I had to force it into the back of my programming. There was no time for flattery, I was on a mission.

  “You’re not answering the question,” I pushed him further, and my sensors told me he was starting to grow frustrated.

  “Why does it bother you so much?” he shot back. “Are you jeal
ous?”

  “No,” I stated, “but I want to know what kinda girls you are interested in, and I felt there was some bond between you two.”

  “Fine!” Tony finally conceded. “Maybe there was a time where I had a teensy-tiny little crush on Renee. But that’s not the case anymore.”

  Excellent.

  “Why is that?” I asked. “If you’re not into a beautiful woman like Renee, then who are you into?”

  “You,” Tony said with a deep sigh. “You, Hannah.”

  It should have been obvious, but Tony’s words caught me off-guard.

  “Me?” I pondered aloud. “But why … I’m just an emotionless robot.”

  I bit my lip as the words slipped out of my mouth, but it was too late.

  “Emotionless robot?” Tony echoed as he shook his head vigorously. “You’re way too hard on yourself. The woman I’ve seen tonight has been strong, playful, and intelligent. Stubborn and straightforward, sure, but definitely not a robot.”

  Tony leaned in close and placed his hands on mine.

  “I don’t want to ever hear you say that about yourself again, you hear?” he pleaded. “You’re a bonafide badass, Hannah.”

  Maybe it was his touch, or maybe it was his warm words of encouragement, but there was something comforting about this human male.

  Then Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine.

  At first, I was too shocked to respond, but then I pulled back in my chair and opened my eyes wide. My heart was slamming in my chest as if I’d just run a one minute mile, and my skin felt on fire. My lips also tingled where he had touched them, and I was forced to take a deep breath to increase my system oxygen flow.

  “Ohmygosh, I’m so sorry,” Tony apologized as he threw his hands onto his head. “That was totally inappropriate of me. I mean, we just met this morning!”

  “It’s … it is fine,” I stammered as I stood up. “I think it’s time for me to head home. See you at work tomorrow?”

  Tony had a pathetically sad look in his eyes as he nodded, and then he stood up and followed me toward the door.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hannah,” he promised. “I’m sorry I made things weird. Can we still be friends, at least?”

  “I will see you tomorrow,” I repeated.

  He gave me another sad nod, and then I turned and walked toward the staircase.

  How could I have been so foolish? I was the model of a perfect human female. Naturally, he would have feelings for me.

  I just expected them to be lust, not … whatever it was humans felt when they actually liked somebody.

  And why was my skin flushed and my heart beating irregularly?

  As I trotted down the stairs and through the lobby of the apartment complex, I ordered my systems to do a diagnostic scan internally.

  Nothing. I was perfectly normal, functioning at one-hundred percent.

  Whatever this was, I needed to figure it out quickly so it wouldn’t jeopardize the mission.

  In the meantime, I could take solace in the fact that I had a strong lead in Renee. Tony was obviously into his blonde manager, and she was a prime candidate to be the mother of Alexander Amin.

  As I passed down the dirty, dark streets of the city, I formulated a plan. Tomorrow, I’d go into work and interrogate Renee, just to see if there was any mutual attraction between the two. If there was, I’d kill them both right there on the spot.

  That would certainly help with all of these things I was feeling.

  Chapter 6 - Hannah

  If all went well, today would be the last day of my mission.

  Today, I would find out if Renee was Amin’s mother, or if I needed to stretch this charade further.

  When I finally arrived at Carmichael’s the morning of my second day, I saw Tony, Renee, and Kevin were all inside going about their morning routine. I walked up to the door, rapped on it a few times, and then Renee hurriedly walked over with the key.

  “Good morning, Hannah,” she said with a smile. “We were starting to wonder if you were ever going to show up.”

  “I was cleaning myself,” I explained, and Renee shot me a look of doubt.

  “Right … ” she muttered as she looked me up and down. “Well, come on in. I was going to have Tony show you how to do the laptops and tablets today.”

  “Would it be possible to spend more time with you this morning?” I asked. “I have questions I need to ask you about--”

  “I’ve got manager stuff to do,” she interrupted. “I was going to have Tony train you today.”

  “I want to spend the day with you,” I stated as I tried to keep my voice flat. Why were humans so difficult?

  “I guess I could put you with Kevin,” she said as she tapped her cheek, “but Kevin’s working the game systems. Is there something going on with you and Tony? Do I need to get HR involved?”

  “I’d just rather work with you today, that is all,” I said.

  “Well, unfortunately Darren’s got me doing inventory today, and that’s not something I can have a floor worker doing,” she shrugged, “I will warn you, though, the last person Kevin trained ended up leaving just two hours into his shift. His personality is an acquired taste.”

  “I think I will manage,” I said. “Now, about Tony, I had a question I wanted to ask you.”

  Renee crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against one of the cash registers.

  “Shoot,” she said with a nod.

  “We went on a date last night,” I explained.

  The blonde woman’s eyes lit up with intrigue at my words, and then she nodded furiously.

  “Ohhhhh,” Renee said with a slight chuckle. “Say no more. I’ve been on plenty of awkward dates in the past where I immediately had to ghost the person afterward. That’s why I would never, ever date a coworker. It’s really hard to ghost somebody you see every other day.”

  “Ghost them?” I asked as I tilted my head to the side.

  “Have you seriously never heard of ghosting?” Renee laughed. “Girl, you really need to get out more. It’s when you completely cut off all contact from somebody you don’t want to talk to anymore. Delete their number from your phone … block them on Facebook … tell all of your mutual acquaintances not to talk about you to them at all. ”

  “That sounds needlessly petty,” I observed. “That’s not what I am trying to do with Tony at all. Our date was unexpectedly enj--” I paused when I realized I was about to tell the human woman I enjoyed spending time with Tony. “It is just that, near the end of it, he gave me some interesting information.”

  “Uh-oh,” Renee snickered as she cleared her throat, “looks like somebody’s got a crush on Tony.”

  “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about!” I growled.

  “Easy there, Hannah,” the blonde manager shot back with a sly smile, “what’s up?”

  Even with my limited knowledge on 2019 culture, I knew enough about human nature to know what I had to do next. I needed to feign jealousy and act like I was troubled by the revelation Tony had given me about Renee last night.

  So, I contorted my mouth into a scowl, furrowed my brow, and threw my hands onto my hips.

  “What I wanted to talk to you about was you and Tony,” I said.

  Renee turned her head the side curiously and raised a platinum eyebrow at me.

  “What do you mean?” she asked slowly, as if she were trying to comprehend my words.

  But I heard her heart rate begin to quicken.

  “Last night, Tony informed me that you and he had a history,” I continued as I watched her skin flush.

  Renee’s expression became more exaggerated, and then she stifled a laugh.

  “Me and Tony?” She tried to keep her composure, but the corners of her mouth were contorted into a grin. “A history? Oh dear, he’s always had quite the imagination.”

  “So, it is not true?” I asked flatly. “I do not have anything to worry about from you?”

  Renee was
now grinning as she put her open palm on my shoulder. She patted me for a second before she pulled her hand back and grimaced.

  “Oh, honey … ” she trailed off.

  She was avoiding the question, and I wasn’t going to let her do that, especially since her heart was now racing, so I knew she was lying.

  I increased my scowl slightly.

  “You are ghosting me,” I argued. “Do I need to be worried about you and Tony, or not?”

  “Of course not,” Renee retorted with a somewhat disgusted tone. “I don’t know what kind of delusions he’s got in his head, but he and I will never be a thing. One, I don’t date coworkers. Two, Tony might be a nice guy, but he’s waaaaay too nerdy for me. I mean seriously, who would want to date a guy whose main ambitions in life are to sit around and play video games while other people watch online? Sounds like a real winner to me.”

  “You are lying.” My own heart rate began to increase as Renee’s words soaked into me like a sponge. I could feel my skin starting to flush as a million different violent thoughts flooded into my brain.

  “Nope.” Rene cleared her throat, but I could see her hands were shaking now. “Look, it’s like … I’m not interested. He’s just a nerd, and--”

  “You have no idea what Amin is capable of!” I hissed at the manager with a pointed finger. “He is destined for great things. I thought maybe you would be the one to get him there, but it is becoming more and more apparent that you’re just destined to manage a second-tier electronics store for the rest of your life.”

  The smile disappeared from Renee’s face as her cheeks flushed a bright red. Her posture became more defensive, more tense and closed-off, but she was still nearly a foot shorter than me.

  “Excuse me?” she sneered. “Must I remind you that I’m your manager?”

  “You are the manager of nothing,” I said flatly. “You can’t even tell the truth about your feelings for the man. Pathetic female.”

  “You don’t get to talk to me like that!” she snapped as she bared her teeth. “No matter how much you have the hots for Tony. I’m going to go write you up, and Darren and I are going to have a little chat about your attitude when he gets here.”