Unspoken Fears (The Unspoken Love Series Book 4)

by H. P. Davenport

  “Awe. You do love me more than Jamie.” Camryn sticks her tongue out at her husband. “You heard it, I’m his best friend, not you.”

  My mouth curves into a smile and I take a long pull on my beer.

  “Whatever you say sweetheart,” Jamie teases his wife.

  “You’d think you would have waited till you got married, had a kid, or something,” my sister says. “I know you love me and all, but another woman may get jealous that I am tattooed on your arm.” Joy bubbles in her laugh and shines in her eyes.

  Camryn and I are close, very close. She’s my best friend besides Jamie. The two of us have been through a lot together. Camryn’s been to hell and back. She’s the strongest woman I know. Camryn leaned on me when she wouldn’t allow anyone else in. We have a special bond, a bond only the two of us will ever understand.

  I set my beer down after taking another drink. “Not gonna happen. I don’t plan on getting married or having kids.”

  “Why?” Camryn asks curiously with questions in her eyes.

  Lincoln watches me. He looks at Jamie then back to me, like a damn volleyball match. He raises his brows to me, as if he’s the judge and it’s my turn to volley the next ball now.

  “Why do you seem so against settling down? You always offer advice to the four of us,” Jamie questions.

  The waitress sets another round of drinks in the center of the table. Lincoln opens a beer and takes a long pull. When finished, he points the beer toward me. “You’re gonna sit here and tell us you never plan to get married and have a family one day.”

  “That’s what I’m telling you,” I respond.

  “I call bullshit,” Lincoln says shaking his head at me. “I’ve sat back for years and watched you play matchmaker with every single person sitting at this table. You can’t tell me that not once has the thought crossed your mind that you want the same thing,” Lincoln calls me out.

  The look on Camryn’s face is priceless. She has a smug grin on her face, as if saying, they called your dumbass out on your bullshit.

  “Don’t even go there,” I say to her, shaking my head.

  Lifting my beer to my lips, I take a long swig. The cold beer soothes the burning sensation in my throat and cools my chest. After processing what Lincoln just said, I wonder if in fact I do want what my friends and sister have.

  Camryn turns her attention to me. “I gotta ask you something. Why haven’t I ever met any of the girls you see? Don’t lie to me either. I want the God’s honest truth.” She points her finger at me and gives me a pointed stare.

  Lifting the bottle to my lips, I take another mouthful of my beer before I lay my reasons out there. “The truth? There’s never been anyone I thought was worth introducing to you. I never had anything serious with anyone. I never loved anyone, and I never saw a future with anyone. Why bother introducing them to my family?” I keep the fact that I’ve never brought a chick back to my place to myself. I’ve never wanted to share my personal space with any of them. I didn’t need any unwanted guests showing up at my home sometime in the future, expecting more from me than I was ever willing to give.

  Finishing off my beer, I nudge the empty bottle toward the center of the table. I grab another cold one from the bucket the waitress left on the table, open it and tip the bottle to my lips.

  Nodding my head toward Jamie. “I’m like him. I never told a girl I loved her. Well, obviously other than you.” I tilt my chin to my sister.

  Lincoln looks perplexed by this newfound information. “You mean to tell me you never told anyone you love them? All the chicks I know you’ve been with, you’ve never fallen for any of them?” Lincoln asks.

  Shaking my head, “Nope. Not a one. Dude, look, I don’t want to have a conversation about my sex life with my sister sitting next to me.”

  Camryn raises her brows. “Come on now. We’re all adults here. I have sex with your best friend almost every day. Sometimes multiple times a day.”

  “Don’t forget the multiple orgasms your husband gives you every day, sweetie,” Jamie says across from me. He throws his head back and laughs, knowing I don’t want to hear about this shit. In fact, I want to punch the motherfucker in his big fat mouth.

  Raising my brows at him. “Really, dude. You’re really going to go there. Need I remind you about the big dick you ended up with on your chest in Vegas,” I sneer, flicking a beer cap at his head.

  Lincoln and Jamie continue to laugh, amused by the exchange. Maybe if I drink enough, this conversation will be a blur tomorrow. Possibly if I do the few shots sitting here in front of me, that’ll drown out the memories. Especially the parts where my sister is openly telling me about her sex life with my best friend.

  The DJ dims the lights in the bar signaling the start of his set. The Cure by Lady Gaga begins to blare through the speakers and the girls squeal. Camryn pushes her stool back and grabs Morgan’s hand.

  “Come on, let’s dance,” Camryn shouts excitedly.

  Saved by the DJ and the girls’ love for dancing. Jamie’s eyes follow his wife to the dance floor. Morgan and Camryn throw their hands in the air and move their hips to the beat. They are putting on quite the little show, and a few other girls join them. A few guys who are playing at the nearby pool table walk over and stand along the dance floor.

  “The girls are at it again. In a few minutes, those guys are going to try and dance with them,” I say to Jamie who hasn’t taken his eyes off his wife.

  “They’re good. It’s like a repeat of the night I lost my shit and went out there after Camryn. Funny how so much shit has changed since then,” Jamie says before turning his attention to me.

  Nodding my head. “I remember that. The next day you came over to my place begging for forgiveness for screwing up.”

  He lifts his middle finger at me. “Yeah, and your punk ass almost burnt down the apartment building by being a nosy asshole.”

  Shrugging my shoulder, I lift my beer and take a drink. “You turned over your man card that day. You’ve never been the same since,” I taunt him.

  Lincoln sits there shaking his head as his eyes bounce between the both of us. “You keep talking that shit, man. Wait till you find the girl who steals your balls.” Taking another sip of his beer, he places it down on the table. “When she does, we’re going to be the first ones to sit back and laugh our asses off.”

  The song changes to Haunted by Beyoncé and the girls grind up against each other. Morgan runs her hands up and down Camryn’s sides, while Camryn sings the song to Morgan. The way they are dancing is drawing attention, and a few men off to the side hoot and holler, which causes Jamie to clench his fist and furrow his brows.

  Both Lincoln and I notice the change in his demeanor. Lincoln grips his shoulder and squeezes. “Don’t worry, man, they’re fine out there. Joe is standing at the edge of the dance floor. Nothing is going to happen.”

  After what Camryn went through, Jamie is overly protective of her. He knows he can’t hover over her twenty-four hours a day, but he will stop at nothing to make sure Camryn is safe.

  Jamie nods his head, but his gaze never wavers.

  Aces is packed with a sea of people. Lifting my beer to my lips, I take another long pull from the bottle, and my gaze passes around the room. A flash of red catches my attention in the far corner of the dance floor.

  Staring for a long moment to make sure I’m not seeing things, my jaw hangs open when I confirm it’s her.

  I can’t pull my eyes away from the way her ass looks in those dark skinny jeans. The pants fit her body perfectly, outlining all her curves. Tall, black boots accent the shape of her calves. Her hair is in a sloppy bun on the top of her head, exposing the knot of her halter top on the back of her neck. The black top falls deep between her breasts and her entire back is on display, giving every man in here a hard-on.

  A colorful tattoo covers the right side of her back, starting about her waistline, ending on her shoulder. The piece is colored with bright, bold colors. I can’t m
ake out what the design is, but my cock twitches in my jeans, knowing she has ink on her smooth, ivory skin. Another appears to be between her shoulder blades. I stare at it, but I can’t quite make that out either.

  I would love the opportunity to explore her naked body, to find out if she has more. Ask her what the meaning is behind them.

  As the beat of the song slows down, so does she. When the beat picks up, her body matches the seductive tempo. Unable to stand the distance anymore, I grab my beer and take a long swig.

  I watch her for a few minutes. Rory’s stunning smile spreads across her whole face.

  “What’s got your attention out there?” Jamie asks, nodding his head in the direction of where the girls are. Turning my attention back toward the table, I grab one of the shots Camryn offered me earlier. As I toss it back, I motion for Lincoln to slide me the one in front of him. I need something to numb the tingling sensation creeping up my spine. Knocking back my second shot, my nerves begin to settle.

  Glancing back to the dance floor, I reply. “I’ll be back.”

  Two girls stop walking, and stand in front of me, yelling into each other’s ear over the music. The girl in a red dress turns to face me, running her manicured finger down the front of my black shirt. “Hi, I’m Courtney,” she purrs, leaning close to my ear.

  Pushing off my stool, I stand to my feet. “I’m not interested.” I keep my eyes on the one woman I am interested in.

  “Fine, asshole,” she yells, the flirtatiousness in her voice that was there a moment ago vanishes.

  Sidestepping Courtney, I head in the direction of the woman who has filled my mind for weeks. Rory’s back is toward me, so she doesn’t see my approach. She isn’t too far from where Camryn and Morgan are dancing, though. My eyes trail her body the closer I get. She pulls her hair loose, shaking her head and her long, chestnut-colored hair spills down over her neck and through the middle of her exposed shoulder blades.

  Morgan sees me and smiles. She leans in, saying something to my sister, causing her to look over her shoulder.

  Kush-Main by Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Akon filters through the speakers, the bass thumping off the walls. Different colored lights begin to flash around the room. An array of blue, red, yellow, and white lights highlight the crowd.

  Pushing through the crowd, I move behind her, so close again to the woman who captured my attention a few weeks ago. The woman I can’t stop thinking about. The woman I plan to have beneath me. The woman I want to make mine. And soon.

  Morgan wiggles her brows at me, and yells over the music, “What brings you out here, handsome?”

  Rory moves in between her friend’s legs, so she can grind up against her. Rory can dance. Her body never misses a beat. Lifting my arm above Rory’s head, I point and mouth, “Her.”

  Leaning down close to her ear, making sure my breath blows across her neck, I whisper, “You still owe me a cup of coffee.”

  Rory tilts her head and looks over her shoulder, panic in her eyes. She quickly pulls away, distancing herself from me. Her eyes bounce around the club before they finally settle on me. She tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ear, giving me a weak smile and continuing to move her hips to the rhythm of the song as if nothing just happened, as if she didn’t feel the same jolt of energy pass between us that I did.

  She looks up, licking those full red lips slowly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. What I wouldn’t do to find out what those lips can do. Seeing her teeth sinking into her lower lip makes my cock grow. She’s begging to be kissed. But in this moment, I’m actually happy with the distance she placed between us because my cock is very pleased to see her.

  I recognize the girl Rory was dancing with from Aces. Rory places her hands on her shoulders, pulling her close to tell her something in her ear, causing Rory to raise her brows. Her friend turns and walks over to a table near the back of the bar.

  Seeing how her shirt falls deep between her breasts up close, I try not to be turned on by the way the silky blouse clings to her perky breasts, but I can’t pull my eyes away.

  Leaning down, I gently move Rory’s hair away from her neck, making sure not to touch her. The slight aroma of coconut makes my mouth water. Whispering in her ear, “I called you. Even texted. And yet, you ignored me.”

  Her grin tells me she knows exactly what she’s doing to me. She stands on tippy toes so she’s next to my ear and says with a seductive voice, “I was going to call you, but I’ve been busy.”

  I nod my head and repeat, “Busy, huh.” My eyebrows raise inquiringly. The contrast between her auburn hair, her fair skin, and those jade eyes, makes her breathtaking. Rory is beautiful. Her defined cheekbones, her straight nose, but those damn eyes.

  This is not what I was expecting tonight when I came out. Was I hoping there was a chance I’d run into her, absolutely? Did I think I would? No way. I wasn’t expecting to run into Rory, but I’m glad I did. I let her walk away a few weeks ago, I don’t plan on making the same mistake tonight. This time, I don’t plan on letting her get away.

  Chapter Four

  Rory

  “I was going to call you, but I’ve been busy.” The lie passes through my lips easily. I didn’t have intentions of returning any of Christian’s texts or the voicemail he left me. He only asked for a cup of coffee, but why bother. Nothing is going to come from it. I’m not ready for a relationship and my life really isn’t conducive to just casually dating to have something to do.

  He nods his head. “Busy, huh,” his eyebrows rise inquiringly.

  Christian leans into me, and I get a strong whiff of his fresh, clean scent. His eyes roam up and down my body. He lingers a bit on my chest, until he finally lands on my face. His hand rises as if he’s going to touch my cheek but drops it. “You look beautiful.”

  On the dance floor, when Christian came up from behind me, his breath against my neck when he spoke to me made my heart race.

  Swallowing back a smile, I reply, “Thank you.”

  He nods his head toward the hallway. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”

  Nodding, I turn to go someplace where we can hear each other. Weaving our way through the crowd, we reach our destination. The hallway grants us silence.

  Christian leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Being this close to him causes my heart to thump rapidly in my chest and this feeling is so foreign to me I’m not sure what to do with the jumble of emotions coursing through me.

  His dark eyes search mine. Feeling the scrutiny of his gaze, I tug my bottom lip between my teeth, a nervous habit I have.

  Christian’s jaw tightens. “If I don’t get to do that, neither do you.” He points his finger at my lip.

  His gaze flicks from my lips, to my eyes, then back to my lips. He lowers his voice, his brown eyes gentle. “I say we get out of here. There’s a diner close by. It’s quieter than this place. We could talk. Get coffee.”

  Standing in front of him, I smile because it’s hard to decline his invitation. It’s much easier to ignore his text messages or voicemail. But having him standing here before me, this close, I don’t have the strength to walk away.

  A peaceful smile emerges on my face. “Finally going to take me up on that cup of coffee, huh?”

  “Something like that.” An easy smile plays at the corners of his mouth.

  I find it impossible not to return his disarming smile. “Let me go say goodbye to my friends.”

  Pushing my way through the crowd, my friends surround the high-top near the pool tables. Grabbing my coat from the stool, I turn to Jacqueline. “I’m gonna head out.”

  “Does your abrupt departure have anything to do with the hot-as-fuck man you were dancing with?” Jacqueline asks with amusement dancing in her eyes.

  “That’s the same guy from a few weeks back you were playing hard to get with,” Lucy shouts over the music.

  I shove Lucy’s shoulder. “I was not playing hard to get.”

  Shaking her head,
“Whatever you say,” Lucy jokes.

  I watch Christian from a short distance as he drops a few bills on the table where a group of people sit. He nods his head in my direction, causing his friends to seek me out.

  Shrugging into his jacket, his eyes find mine as he walks over to where I’m standing. The closer he gets, the taller he appears.

  Christian holds his hand out and introduces himself to Jacqueline. She takes his hand in hers, “Hi, I’m Jacqueline.” She nods her head to Lucy, “This is Lucy.”

  Lucy shakes Christian’s hand and fans herself with her other hand.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, embarrassed by my friend’s behavior.

  “This man is hot as hell. I didn’t get a good look at him the first time I saw him. But hot damn, he is fine,” Lucy exclaims.

  Christian actually blushes. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry to steal your friend away.”

  “It’s fine. Take her, steal her away, make her moan,” Jacqueline says as she pushes me toward Christian. Tripping over my own feet, I lose my balance and fall into this chest. Christian catches me.

  He stares at her, then bursts out laughing. Slowly he turns to face me. “You ready?”

  Nodding, I glare at my friends. “I’ll see you Monday.” We both turn away, Christian placing his hand on my lower back.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Jacqueline hollers, and I die a thousand deaths of embarrassment.

  Christian opens the door for me. “After you,” he says with a grin.

  The chimes above the door alert our arrival. Several tables are filled with people who are ending their night the same we are. Some look as though they’ve had more to drink than us. The scene reminds me of when I was twenty-one and would end up at the diner in South Philly after clubbing with my girlfriends all night.

  Jukeboxes are at each booth, and music filters through the diner creating a vibrant atmosphere. Large, colorful oil paintings cover the walls. The floor has neutral-colored tiles laid in a diagonal pattern. A waitress hustles to deliver plates of food and to fill patrons’ cups with coffee from behind the counter.