Unspoken Fears (The Unspoken Love Series Book 4)

by H. P. Davenport

  “If it does, go to dinner with me.” I stare at her for a long moment. I don’t ask, I make a statement. I’ve been patient with Rory, and I’ll continue to, but I have a feeling if I push a little, she’ll give in. I wonder if I’ll ever know what makes the pretty redhead tick.

  She hesitates, and then looks to the man sitting next to her who seems to be trying his best to listen to our conversation.

  Rory nods her head, and I see a smile appear on the man’s face.

  Before she turns her head, I place a quick kiss on her right cheek, causing her face to turn a crimson red. Leaning back in my seat, my father lifts a brow, scrutinizing me.

  Shaking my head, not wanting to talk about it here, or at all, I ignore his gaze and face the front of the room.

  For the next two hours, my palms itch to touch her. Rory is two feet in front of me and I can’t touch her.

  Once the meeting is complete, we all rise from our seats. My father stands next to me as Rory’s father stands next to her.

  “Let me know when you get off. No matter what time it is.”

  Rory blinks several times, staring blankly with her mouth open.

  “You need to eat. So do I.” Dirty thoughts run rampant through my mind. I’d like to eat something, that being Rory. My mouth twists wryly.

  Rory bites her lip to stifle a laugh. “Sure thing,” she laughs.

  She points to the man standing next to her. “I’m sorry for my rudeness, this is my father, John. Dad, this is Christian.”

  He extends his hand and I accept it. “Nice to meet you, sir.” I turn to my father who stands quietly beside me. “Dad, this is Rory” I clear my throat and add, “A friend of mine and her father, John.”

  My father’s eyes dart between Rory and me, then extends his hand “Mark Townsend, nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with her father, he then turns to Rory, taking her hand in his. “Nice to meet you, as well.” Our fathers begin to converse while Rory and I stare at each other.

  While they speak, my father glances at me. The moment doesn’t escape me. I’ve never introduced my father to any female in my life. A brief smile appears on his face before he quickly composes himself.

  I nod my head to the corner of the room. Rory and I move away from them to speak privately.

  “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are in scrubs?”

  She blushes but replies sassily. “No, because it’s a crock of horse shit.”

  “Well, you are.”

  She gives me a once over. “Has anyone ever told you, you always seem to know what to say to make a woman feel beautiful?”

  Shaking my head, “Nope. I don’t go around dishing out compliments. I save them all for you.”

  Her eyebrow arches and I can tell she isn’t convinced. “Oh really. Well, aren’t I lucky.”

  Gathering Rory’s hand in mine, she doesn’t flinch or pull away. I lace my fingers with hers. “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable over there.” I nod my head to where our fathers are still talking.

  “No, not at all. I was a little shocked when you whispered into my ear. I wasn’t expecting that at all. But I recognized your voice immediately.”

  “I hope other men don’t whisper sweet nothings into your ear on a daily basis to make you question whose voice it is.” I lift my brows and drink her in.

  Rory shakes her head. “Nope, just you.”

  The room begins to clear out, leaving just the four of us.

  “Call me tonight, no matter what time you get off. I’ll meet you outside the hospital. This way, it will save you time from having to go home to shower and all.”

  “I can’t go to dinner with you in my scrubs.”

  “Stop with the excuses.”

  Her eyes widen. “Christian.”

  “Promise you’ll give me a chance, Rory. I can’t fight a battle I’ve already lost. Let me take you out on a date. Please. Don’t make me beg.”

  Before she can stop me, I throw caution to the wind. I’m a firm believer in begging for forgiveness rather than asking for permission.

  I lean down, tip her chin to meet my eyes, and place a chaste kiss on her lips.

  Rory doesn’t flinch or back away. She doesn’t smack me across the face. This is progress. It’s a good sign. So I push on while the odds are in my favor.

  “How about this? If you get done at seven, go home, take a shower and call me. I’ll come pick you up in my car. If you get done late, call me and we can grab something local, while you’re still looking hot in your scrubs. That way, you aren’t getting home too late.”

  She nods, the beginning of a smile tipping the corners of her mouth.

  “Finally.” I pull her into a hug, squeezing her against my chest. “I finally got you to agree to dinner with me. I’m holding you to it. You’re not getting out if it.”

  Rory places her arms around my waist.

  “Your persistence obviously paid off.”

  Chapter Nine

  Rory

  Christian kissed me today. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but still a kiss. His lips touched mine. Guilt washed over me for a brief moment. A slim nanosecond, but I still felt a little guilty. The kiss made me feel like I did something wrong.

  Somehow Christian managed to get me to agree to go out with him tonight.

  It’s just dinner.

  I’ve repeated this over and over in my head all afternoon. Seeing Christian today threw me for a loop. I never expected to see him at my place of employment. When I’m at work, I’m in a zone. Nothing rattles me; however, today, Christian did.

  Deep down, I know this isn’t just dinner. If it was simply dinner with a man, I would have never accepted the invitation. Instead, it’s dinner with a man who causes my body to come alive from a simple touch. Tingles run down my spine when he is near. Being around Christian is beginning to destroy the barriers I’ve resurrected around my heart. Agreeing to dinner with Christian tonight has stirred feelings I’ve only had for Keith.

  As I’m standing here, looking at myself in the mirror, I feel completely exposed. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen myself dressed for a date. My usual attire is scrubs, and when I’m not at the hospital, it’s either sweats or jeans and a hoodie.

  I can’t believe the image staring back at me as I take in my appearance in the full-length mirror standing before me. How much I’ve changed in a year. I’m smiling again. I feel again. The numbness that once took over my body is no longer there. Even though I’m no longer numb, the fear of opening up to someone is still there. I think it will always be there. Exposing yourself to someone leaves you vulnerable. Fear of being with someone and having them ripped from your life in the blink of an eye is something that will always haunt me.

  Taking in my appearance, my hair falls in soft curls around my shoulders. A diamond solitaire ring lays on my chest hanging from a platinum necklace. Finding the clasp on my necklace, I unlock it. Once the ring is in the palm of my hand, my finger gracefully caresses it. “You’re always with me, you know,” I say out loud. Placing my hand over my heart.

  ‘I know. Have fun tonight,’ his voice whispers in my ear.

  I place my wedding ring in my jewelry box on my dresser.

  “I’ll try,” I whisper back.

  My phone rings, startling me. Walking out of my bedroom to the living room, I take it off the charging cord. “Hello,” I answer when I see Christian’s name appear on the screen.

  “I’m downstairs,” his deep voice replies.

  “Okay, let me grab my purse,” I answer quickly over my choking, beating heart.

  “I could come up, if you’d like. Be a true gentleman and escort you from your place,” his voice low and smooth.

  “You are a gentleman. No need for you to come up, it’ll only delay our night. I’ll be there in a few.”

  “Take your time. I’m outside of your building,” Christian says softly.

  Clicking the red button on my screen, I end the call and toss it in my purse.r />
  “You look beautiful, honey,” my mom says as she sits in the recliner, closing her Kindle.

  When my shift ended on time tonight, I rushed to come home to spend time with Leah. After bathing and feeding her, I rocked her to sleep. My mom agreed to stay with her, so I could go to dinner with Christian.

  It’s just dinner. I repeat this mantra over and over in my head. It’s just dinner with someone who may become a friend. However, the way he looks at me makes me believe he wants more than just a friendship. He. Wants. Me.

  A part of me wants more than friendship, too. But I feel like I shouldn’t want it. Like not enough time has passed for those feelings to resurface.

  Running my hands nervously over my dress, I turn to my mom. “Do you think this is too much? It doesn’t scream cheap and easy, does it?”

  My mom laughs. “Don’t be ridiculous. You are the furthest thing from cheap and easy. You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

  The mauve lace party dress has three-quarter-length flutter sleeves that bell out gracefully around the elbows, adding a flirty and fun touch to balance out the elegant look. The short, flirty dress falls slightly above my knee. The high scoop neckline is tastefully modest and complements the covered back. The lace gently hugs the curves of my body. Curves I developed after having Leah.

  A small seam wraps around the body under my breasts to create an empire waist. To complete the look, I paired it with a nude heel with a thin strap of rhinestones around my ankle and across the top of my foot.

  “Thank you. I’m a nervous wreck. Do you think I should cancel? Is it too soon to go to dinner with someone?”

  My mom stands from the recliner, walking over to position herself in front of me. She takes my face in her hands. “No, you should not cancel. Whomever you are going out with is waiting for you downstairs. And if I had to guess, he has been waiting to take you to dinner for quite some time.” Her forehead creases. “Only you know if it’s too soon, sweetie.”

  My eyes fill with tears and I nod.

  “Can I ask who you’re going to dinner with? Your father mentioned you introduced him to a handsome gentleman this afternoon at the gala meeting.”

  “His name is Christian.”

  “Have you known him a while?”

  “I met him in February.”

  My mom nods. “Do you like him?”

  My eyes are wet. “Yes,” I whisper. “But I feel guilty when I think about him in that way.”

  “Come here, sweetheart,” my mom says, gesturing me to follow her to the bathroom. She stands me in front of the mirror. Her firm grip holds my shoulders.

  “Guilty…oh, Rory. You have nothing to feel guilty about, sweetheart. You loved Keith. There’s no denying that.”

  My mom rubs her hands up and down my arms. “You deserve to be happy again. You deserve to live, Rory. I watched a part of my daughter die last April and it killed me. It broke my heart to see you struggle and know there wasn’t anything I could do to help you. It took the birth of Leah to see you begin to smile again.” She squeezes my shoulders. “To see you begin to live again.”

  She looked up at me, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “If this Christian guy makes you happy, then enjoy him. Let him know you. Let him in, Rory. You are an amazing, strong, beautiful woman. It’s up to you to decide what your future holds. You can’t let what happened last year control your life.”

  Reaching over, I grab a few tissues from the box on the vanity. “Thank you, Mom. He’s a great guy. I want to get to know him more. Possibly see where things go, but I’m scared. What if this turns into something? I can’t bear to lose someone again.” Nervously, I lick my dry lips.

  “I will ask you one question and I won’t say anymore unless you want to talk about it. Does this Christian guy make you happy?”

  I nod.

  “Keith would want you to be happy. You can’t let fear rule you.” My mom’s mouth curves with tenderness. “Let’s fix your make-up and you go have fun tonight. Don’t leave him waiting down there too much longer. He might think you’ve changed your mind.”

  Laughing, I grab my compact and quickly brush some foundation across my cheeks and fix my eyeliner.

  When we arrive at the restaurant, Christian exits and holds the door open for me. He extends his hand to me, helping me out of the town car.

  Candles light the restaurant along the walls and in the center of the tables. Tables with white linens surround the room and a band plays jazz music on the stage off to the side near the bar.

  We are led to a table near the far wall. Christian holds my chair out for me. “Thank you,” I say, sitting down

  Christian walks to his seat, never taking his eyes off me.

  The waiter approaches, handing us menus and taking our drink order. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with your drinks.”

  “Thank you.”

  Christian nods.

  “You look stunning tonight. I can’t take my eyes off you,” Christian’s voice breaks with huskiness.

  My heart pounds in my chest, I’m sure my face is hot with embarrassment. No matter what my attire is, Christian always tells me how beautiful I am. It’s been so long since I’ve heard those words.

  Christian’s eyes bounce from my eyes, to my lips, to my breasts, then back to my face. His fierce gaze is filled with lust. The way he looks at me makes me feel desired.

  “Thank you,” I reply after swallowing the small knot in my throat.

  Christian has on black slacks and a crisp, grey button-down shirt. The top button is unfastened, exposing the base of his neck. His mocha hair is styled perfectly, not a hair out of place.

  “You look handsome, as well.”

  My hands sit on the table, and Christian reaches across, taking them in his. “Thank you for joining me tonight.”

  “I wish my work wasn’t as intense as it is right now. With my schedule at the hospital, my free time is limited.” My mind is a crazy mixture of hope and fear. Hope that I may be able to move on with my life. Fear that I will feel too much for someone and lose them. Losing someone you love will do that to you.

  Over the next hour, our conversation is light. We both ask questions about what our lives were like growing up, our college days, and our careers.

  Once Christian pays the bill, he helps me from my chair. His hand is on my lower back as he guides us from the restaurant. The car is waiting at the curb when we exit.

  “I don’t want this night to end yet. Do you want to go back to my place and have a drink, watch a movie? I’ll be sure to have the car take you home afterward.” His eyes search my face, reaching into my thoughts.

  My eyes dart nervously back and forth from the car to Christian. If I go back to his place, does he think I’m going to sleep with him?

  Christian shoves his hands into the pockets of his slacks as he waits for my response. “I can see the wheels spinning in your head, Rory.” He holds his hands out to the side. “I have no ulterior motive to get you back to my place. Simply a drink and a movie, I promise.”

  I can’t fight the smile any longer, taking a deep breath, I nod.

  He crosses his fingers and lifts them to his heart. “Scouts honor.”

  He edges forward, pulling his hands from his pockets as he closes the distance between us. His voice lowers, “Well, I may want to cuddle on my couch while we watch the movie. But that’s as far as I’ll let you go with me tonight.”

  I try not to laugh and search anxiously for the meaning behind his invitation. But I come up short. I don’t think he has an ulterior motive to get me to his place. “I don’t believe you were a boy scout for one second.” Fear bleeds through my voice. “But I think I can handle that.”

  No words are spoken until we reach his building. Christian tells the driver we’ll call him when I’m ready to go home.

  Silence bounces between us as we ride the elevator to his apartment. Why am I so nervous? He already said he doesn’t expect anything to happen. I take a deep breath, then exhale.


  Christian gently squeezes my shoulder, giving me the comfort I so desperately need.

  “Apartment ten, down on our left,” he says when the elevator doors open on the fourteenth floor.

  He ushers me to his apartment, his hand on my lower back.

  Christian unlocks his apartment and extends his arm for me to enter. He flicks the switch on the wall, illuminating the entire living room. An island separates the kitchen from the living room. From what I see, his apartment is spacious. He sees me taking in the place, and he points down the hall. “My bedroom is down there as well as the bathroom.”

  “Your place is nice. I like it.”

  He laughs “What did you expect. A frat pad?”

  Laughing, I reply. “Not at all. For some reason, this is exactly what I pictured your place would look like.”

  With a mischievous grin on his face, Christian walks over and tosses his keys in a bowl in the center of the kitchen island. “So, you’ve thought about what my place would look like?” he inquires.

  Embarrassment washes over me. I can’t believe I said that out loud.

  “From the color of your cheeks, I can assume you didn’t mean to let that little secret escape,” he teases.

  Shaking my head quickly.

  “No need to be embarrassed. What would you like to drink?” he asks.

  “A glass of wine would be nice.”

  “Sure thing, red, white, or blush?” he asks as he opens the cabinet, revealing a collection of wine and liquor. “Do you want to watch a movie on demand? If not, my blu-ray collection is in the cabinet below the television. Help yourself.”

  “Blush, please,” I call out while opening the door to see what sort of movies Christian likes to watch. A few of my favorites are here, as well as ones I never heard of. A few box collections are lining the top shelf.

  “Band of Brothers. Is that good?” I ask as Christian makes his way to the living room with a glass of wine in each hand. He sets the glasses on the table by the couch and sits on the floor next to me, by the television.

  “It’s an American war drama miniseries following Easy Company, which is a Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division in World War II. I love this sort of shit. History has always intrigued me.”