If the Boot Fits

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  “Heey, hey,” Sam said cautiously. “What’s going on?”

  “Um—Miss Leona—” Evie started.

  “No. Fuck that. What happened?” Sam felt like he was going to throw up.

  “No, no, she’s okay,” Evie rushed to say.

  “She didn’t come home last night,” Zach explained. “And she didn’t stay at Mig’s.”

  “Oh shit,” Sam whispered. She’d spent the night out with her new mystery man. And Jesse was fucking losing it.

  “Yeah,” Lilah said before she cringed. She knew too. Of course she did. They all knew the truth before last night. All of them but Jesse.

  “She’s on her way home now,” Evie said.

  “And I’m trying to tell our brother here that she is beyond grown, but he doesn’t want to listen,” Zach said.

  “What is there for me to listen to?” Jesse asked. “She lied about where she was going and spent the night out with God knows who. That doesn’t bother you?”

  “I mean, it does, but I think it bothers us for different reasons,” Lilah shot back.

  Zach turned to Evie, squeezing her hand. “Babe.”

  “Yeah.” She squeezed his hand back before she left the room.

  “Li, can you give us a sec?” Zach said.

  Their baby cousin looked back and forth between the three of them, her tongue rolling over her teeth. She hated when people treated her like a child, but that wasn’t what was happening here.

  “Not trying to pull the grown-folks card on you,” Zach said. “Just wanna talk brother to brother. To brother.”

  “Fine. But Jesse,” she said in her soft voice. She hopped off the stool and fixed him with a hard stare. He actually stopped pacing to look at her, even though he was still huffing and puffing. “You really need to back off. If anyone knows how awful it is to have the menfolk in this family butt into your love life, it’s me.”

  “This isn’t about her damn love life!” he yelled. Sam couldn’t stand when he got like this. He had Senior’s hard, authoritative edge, but where their father knew the limits of his temper, Jesse had a point where he couldn’t control it. None of the men in their family shouted the way Jesse did. Sam knew where his anger came from, but a lot of time he wished that wasn’t the case. Lilah wasn’t fazed though. She’d been sick to shit of Pleasant men since she was born. If she could handle her dad and her seven brothers, she could handle all six feet and seven inches of Jesse.

  “Whatever. Get all loud all you want. You know Miss Leona. She doesn’t care if you live next door. She will kick you right off the lane if you push her too far. Especially if you come at her disrespecting her like this. She is your grandmother. She is the matriarch of this family. You need to act like it.” Lilah was speaking the whole truth, but Jesse had already tuned her out. Sam could see the vein on the side of his face threatening to burst. Lilah sucked her teeth as she followed after Evie. When they heard a door close down the hall, Zach looked over at Sam. They were going to have this talk with him now.

  “Alright. What’s going on with you, man?” Sam said.

  “Sam, you need to back off,” Jesse snarled.

  “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re the one who’s about to Hulk out—” Sam shot back, but Zach cut him off.

  “Jesse, you need to relax and talk to us.”

  No one wanted Zach to bust out the breathing techniques their mom had taught Jesse when he was going through puberty. A growth spurt had tackled his ass at age ten. And by the time he was thirteen he was already. Football and basketball coaches around the state were lined up to get a piece of him, ready to add him to their roster. But Jesse just wanted to bake with Evie and Miss Leona and be left alone.

  Kids at school teased him mercilessly for his large, awkward body, and the adults were much worse. People who didn’t know him didn’t know he was a kid and that made things even harder. Adults who did know him wanted to take advantage of him or make him show off his strength and athletic skill like he was some circus animal. He grew a tough shell quickly, but that didn’t stop the pain and confusion from simmering below the surface. There was almost a full year when he barely spoke, only responding to his family when addressed directly.

  Something happened when he went away to college and by the time he finished business school and the rest of his peers had caught up with him in physical maturity, he’d seemed to level out, but if people pushed him, that fucking temper. Sometimes you’d see it coming. He’d warn his brothers when they were getting on his nerves. Sometimes, though, the top would just blow right off.

  Sam and Zach let out frustrated breaths, both thinking about how they could get through to him before their grandmother came walking in the door.

  “You can be concerned about Miss Leona seeing someone new, but you can’t stop her from doing it. I want to know why it pisses you off so much,” Zach said.

  “It’s not—” Jesse finally started to unclench. He let out his own breath and tried again. “I know that she doesn’t want me in her business, but I am just trying to protect her.”

  “From what?” Zach asked calmly.

  “The guy she’s talking to, Frank Chester?”

  “Yeah, the organ guy from church. What about him?”

  “He was trying to get at the ranch.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?” Zach asked.

  “Yeah. I’ll fight a Frank Chester,” Sam added, making Zach laugh.

  “’Cause I took care of it.”

  “Miss Leona said you scared the shit out of him.”

  Jesse stopped pacing, then cracked his knuckles. “Literally.”

  “Oh man!” Zach threw up his hands. Sam winced.

  “Okay. I don’t want to lose the ranch to some old man who put one over on Miss Leona, but what’s Frank Chester, like, seventy-eight?” Zach asked. “You could have given him a heart attack. You can’t be rolling up on the elderly like that.”

  “Whatever, he’s fine.”

  “Okay. So you’re trying to protect Miss Leona’s wallet and the ranch. Fair. But how do we know this new guy is after her money? He could be a nice dude,” Sam said.

  “What do you mean ‘this guy’? She’s out with Frank Chester again.”

  “Uh right, she is.”

  “There’s someone else?!”

  “Jess. Calm down,” Zach said, palms up like he could soothe the rage out of him.

  “I’m not gonna calm down.”

  “Fine. Don’t. But can you at least go back to your own fucking house? Break some shit over there. Heat the pool and take some laps. Whatever you need to do. But you know damn well Lilah is right. You cannot go off on Miss Leona.”

  “Fine, whatever. Fuck you two.” Jesse stormed toward the door, but Zach grabbed his arm before he could leave the kitchen.

  “Nah. Something else is up your ass. Out with it.”

  “There’s nothing up my ass. Senior and Mom are six thousand miles away on a good day. Uncle Gerald is too afraid of Lilah, Uncle Justice just doesn’t give a shit. I know Miss Leona is her own woman. I also know she’s too sweet and too kind and eighty-two fucking years old. If someone in our family let Corie have her way, she’d be setting Miss Leona up with a different dude every week. Do you know the STI rates among the elderly?”

  “Okay. I do and no, I don’t want to think about that. But I don’t know why you think Evie and I don’t care—”

  “Or that I don’t either,” Sam said, offended as hell. He loved his grandmother and it was fucked up for Jesse to imply otherwise.

  “I cut back at the ranch so I could be present and shit, for Evie and the family. I’m here, man, and I care about Miss Leona too.”

  “Yeah, I know. Let me go.” Jesse stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall, slamming the front door behind him. Zach scrubbed his beard as Sam leaned against the counter.

  “He needs to go to therapy,” Sam said. “That was fucking wild.”

  “I know,” Zach sighed. “Should we call
Senior?”

  “Maybe. Mom will just calm him down, but Miss Leona and Senior are the only ones who really get through to him. Evie used to but—”

  “She’s Team Zach now. The traitor.”

  “You noticed that too?”

  “She used to be his homie. Now she’s my woman, with, like, no time for him to adjust.”

  The ten years Evie and Zach were on the outs she’d kept in touch with Sam and Jesse, but she really talked to Jesse to the point where she’d made him her ultimate emergency contact. It was her connection to Jesse that had brought her back into their lives when she’d lost her memory. Jesse was glad to have her back in his life as a friend, but her love for Zach had taken the lead in the saddle. There was no conversation to be had about it. It was what it was.

  “Can we sign him up for a class or something?” Sam said. He wasn’t trying to be funny, but Zach laughed anyway. “I’m serious. Does he have any friends outside of the ranch and the senior center? Is his whole world the ranch and the old people?”

  “Fuck. I think so. Jesus, maybe I haven’t been present.”

  “You just got Evie back. You guys are opening the restaurant and shooting a documentary. It’s all right for you guys to take this time just for the two of you.”

  “And now you have Amanda? She okay after last night?”

  “She’s great! Just left.”

  “She’s a good girl, man. Evie loves her. Majesty loves her too! That’s a damn miracle.”

  “Yeah, she’s what’s up.”

  “You go change and shower, ’cause you look like you just rolled back over here.”

  “Yeah. Let me go to do so.”

  “I’ll call Senior.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Sam headed out to get cleaned up, still thinking of what he could do to help his brother. Maybe he could invite him up to LA just to get a break from Charming. Or maybe they could go to Vegas or something. Just to get him out of town. Whatever it was, it was clear Jesse needed something. Sam just wasn’t sure what.

  Chapter 19

  Amanda rolled onto her back, trying not to giggle. She’d only meant to text Sam, but when he replied asking if he could say good night over the phone she couldn’t think of a reason why not. As soon as the word TEX lit up her phone screen, she knew it wasn’t going to be a quick call. She’d only been away from Big Rock Ranch for eight hours or so, but the thought of talking to Sam again made her giddy. As soon as she heard his voice, the soft, smooth “Hey, Cha-Cha” rolling off his tongue made her whole body tingle. Dru had a packed week and Amanda needed all her sleep so she could keep up with Dru’s schedule and her attitude.

  She double-checked the clock and did the math on how long she had. Twenty more minutes. Twenty more minutes before she had to brush her teeth and wash her face and get ready for bed. A tiny voice in the back of her head screamed, FUCK THAT. You kinda have a boyfriend now. You stay up all night and tell this boy how much you like seeing him naked. She wouldn’t, but man, was the thought tempting.

  “I don’t believe you,” Amanda said, trying to catch her breath. She’d never been the giggling type. Until now.

  “Why would I lie? Damn Cha-Cha. I thought I was among friends. You telling me I can’t confess my darkest secrets to you anymore?”

  “No! Of course you can. Teeexxx,” she laughed. “Listen. When it comes to Banker Down I don’t play around. I just can’t believe you spent all afternoon reading Banker fic. I have to stay away from it. I’ll go down a rabbit hole and a week later I’ll wake up screaming about how Jens and Calloum should have gotten together way sooner.”

  “They’re together. It’s legit. It’s canon. I’m still pissed they killed Banker III.”

  “Thank you! She was the best. They seemed to learn their lesson about fridging, but I maintain that they need to resurrect her pure soap opera style. You don’t get Angella Weller to slum it on your cable sci-fi show and then kill her off right after she meets the love of her life.”

  “You know it was her decision, right?” Sam laughed a little more.

  “No. I know. She got cast in the Flight remake and made, like, a bajillion dollars, but I still hate the way they did it.”

  “She could still come back and do guest spots. No fictional death needs to be forever.”

  “Amen to that shit.” Amanda sighed and reached for her stuffed Pluto plush under her pillow. “I’m glad you called. It’s nice to hear your voice.”

  “Couldn’t agree more. I love the sound of my voice.”

  “Ha. Ha.”

  “You know I’m playin’. I do have bad news though. Well, good news and bad news.”

  “What’s that? Gimme ya news.”

  “I won’t be able to see you this weekend.”

  “So you were just using me, huh? I let you catch a glimpse of this beautiful, beautiful face. I let you touch this sweet, sweet ass, sample of this prime pussy, and you’re just going to leave me. I won’t be ignored, Samuel.”

  She smiled as Sam’s laughter came through the phone. “Are you sure you don’t want to be an actor?”

  “God no. I hate cameras, but what’s up?”

  “My brother Jesse. He’s going through some shit so I figured he and I could get out of town. We’re going to Bali for a few days.”

  “Oh, just to Bali.”

  “Wanted to take him to a different time zone so he wouldn’t be thinking about the ranch, and he loves to swim.”

  “I’m trying to picture him doing a lazy backstroke.”

  “Oh, that mufucka can swim. He won’t touch a horse, but if you challenge him to a fifty-meter breaststroke he’ll grab his goggles and tell you not to be late.”

  “That’s amazing. I love it. Brother time in Bali sounds like fun.” Another sigh escaped. Part of her was still in disbelief at how easy it was to talk to Sam. How well they got along and how she was truly disappointed that seeing him on Friday wasn’t going to happen. The other part was the disbelief that she had a kinda boyfriend to miss at all. “Well, do you want to hang out when you get back?”

  “For sure. And that way I can give you something back.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Housekeeping found a Sailor Moon shirt under the bed. Plus my assistant still has your makeup bag from the night at the W.”

  “Oh my God! Thank you so much. Thank your assistant and housekeeping! I haven’t fully unpacked yet.” She’d put her things like her toothbrush back in her bathroom, but her dirty clothes were still in her bag on the floor. She’d be responsible about them in the morning. She didn’t have time now. She was too busy talking to her kinda boyfriend. “Was that the good news?”

  “I have a concrete reason to see you again. I have to get this stuff to you. It’s my chivalrous duty. As your man.”

  Amanda rolled her bottom lip between her teeth as her heart bloomed with warm sparkles and unicorn tears. Things were moving so fast, but hearing those words from him? It was exactly what she wanted. “Are you my man now?” she asked quietly.

  “I want to be,” he said, his voice filled with soft sincerity.

  “I do like that idea. I just don’t want you bragging to all of your friends.”

  “Listen. When I get back I’ll talk to my team. I’m gonna make sure you keep your privacy as much as possible.”

  “I mean, I’ll enjoy that while it lasts, but we know that won’t work.”

  “Will you let me try?”

  “Of course. And I’ll do my best too. I—yeah.” Amanda checked the clock on her nightstand. She had six more minutes. “If you change your mind—”

  “About what?”

  “About being my boyfriend.”

  “I don’t think that’s gonna happen, but if for some crazy-ass reason I do—”

  “I want a letter. Like a dramatic-as-fuck handwritten letter. I want to feel it, hold it in my hand as I sit on Venice Beach, while tourists complain about the homeless problem while doing nothing to fund housing initiatives in
their own communities. I want to hold that letter in my hand and weep before I cast the biodegradable paper into the ocean as a way to start the grieving process of getting over you.”

  “Cha-Cha,” Sam laughed. “You are extra as fuck.”

  “I’m sorry. I keep most of this bottled in. You’re letting the real freak in me out.”

  “I’m here for it and I can see the writer in you now. That was some batshit poetry.”

  Amanda wasn’t quite sure which part it was, but something he said brought her right back to reality. Suddenly she was thee Samuel Pleasant’s girlfriend and that sure as hell didn’t change the fact that she had to be up at the ass crack of dawn to wait on thee Dru Anastasia.

  “When are you leaving for Bali?”

  “Tuesday. After my meetings. I’ll be in town but—”

  “I’ll be at work.”

  “Look, I know what you said, and I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me who you work for. But when you’re ready to quit, I can help you.”

  Amanda’s throat felt like it was closing as tears threatened to rise in her eyes. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. He was just being kind, but maybe it was the mere offer, a way out of a situation that still felt extremely impossible and yet necessary at the same time, something about it in that moment was a little too much. Because she knew he meant it. Amanda had met so many shitty, dishonest, manipulative people since moving to California. But Sam Pleasant wasn’t one of them. Still she was too scared to believe the full truth of what it meant to have someone like that in her life.

  “I appreciate that, Tex. And I will let you know. On both counts.”

  “Oh, there was another thing.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you send me your Banker Down script?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Why?”

  “’Cause it’s ass-trash garbage in a garbage boot.”

  “The fuck is a garbage boot?” Sam laughed.

  “Not sure, but the answer is no.”

  “Please. I’ve read all the good fic I can find and something tells me you captured Banker VIII’s likeness perfectly.”

  “Damn,” Amanda said under her breath. “Fine. Only because if you understand the fine complexities of Banker VIII’s relationship—”