“That is up to you girl. If you are happy with the way things are then maybe you don’t have to do anything. Putting a different label on what you guys have shouldn’t make any difference. But if you want more… like, I don’t know, perhaps you don’t want this thing to be secret, or maybe you want to tell him how much you love him, or hear him say that to you, or if you want to be sure you are both heading in the same direction—then perhaps you should talk to him.”
“Oh, God. But what if I read this all wrong? What if he says he wants to call this quits?”
“Well, then you’ll know, and I know it will be hard, but you can work on forgetting him and finding yourself a guy who will give you everything you want. Look, honey, I think this has gone on long enough. He should be able to commit to you by now. What’s the alternative? How long are you willing to let this go on for? How much longer can you keep your feelings buried? You don’t want to hold onto this tenuous agreement only to have him walk away in another month, a year, more, maybe? By then, you will be so far invested in this guy, it’ll tear you apart, Nora.”
My friend was right. But I might have already reached the point where I’d be devastated if we broke up. If José didn’t feel the same way about me, then my heart would be destroyed. Could I risk losing what we had? Was it worth the sacrifice? I can’t imagine never sleeping with him again.
“Okay, I’ll think about it. But if I do this, you better be right, or your shoulder is going to become very wet when I cry on it every night.”
Angie looked worried. “José is a complicated guy, intense, and he always gives this air of not giving a shit. But I think part of that is this thing he has about being in control of everything. However, underneath all that, I reckon he isn’t any different than the rest of us—he needs to be loved.”
“God, I hope you are right.”
“Look, my gut tells me he is still with you because he feels connected to you, and whether he has admitted it to himself or not, I believe that connection is so much more than a no strings arrangement.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I stood up and dropped some cash on the table to cover my share of the check. Angie hunted through her purse and left the rest.
As we walked back to our place, I found myself dwelling on what she’d said. My stomach churned over so bad at the thought of having this conversation with José that I couldn’t help but think it was a bad omen.
Fourteen
Nora
Angie and I parted company at the top of the hill, and I went home, while she headed down the road to visit another friend. By the time I got back to the house, the anxiety over our conversation had my stomach tied in knots. I felt sweaty and more waves of nausea made me feel like I would throw up at any time.
“Hey,” José greeted me as I walked in the door.
“Hi.”
He frowned. “You okay? You look a little pale.”
Oh, God, there was no way I could do this now. I needed more time to think about how I would approach this with him. “Y-yeah.” My stomach roiled over, and bile rushed up my throat. “Shit, um, excuse me.” I clamped my hand over my mouth and rushed to the bathroom.
The moment I entered the room, the contents of my stomach erupted out of my mouth, and it was a miracle the puke didn’t go all over the floor. For what seemed like ages, I retched over the toilet bowl.
José appeared beside me. I felt so embarrassed, I tried to push him away.
“Stop, let me help you.” He knelt beside me, gathering up my hair and holding it back. When my stomach had run out of food to eject, I spent the next ten minutes dry heaving. Finally, when it was all over, I collapsed against the wall, and Jose wiped my face and mouth with a damp facecloth.
I was vaguely aware of him cleaning up around me, but I felt so sick, I didn’t even have the energy to protest. A few minutes later, he lifted me off the floor and took me into my room. Laying me gently on the bed, he drew the curtains closed. He sat beside me and pushed the damp hair off my face. My stomach spasmed as gripping pains shot through me again.
“You should go, I don’t want to make you sick.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He put the back of his hand on my head. “You’re not burning up. Were you feeling ill before you vomited?”
I shook my head, not daring to speak, as I still felt like I might puke some more.
“Hmm, I’ll get you some water.” José disappeared, and when he returned, he had a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and a bucket in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. “Here, take some of this.” He helped me sit up and then poured out a measure of the pink liquid into the plastic measuring cup that came with it. I screwed up my face as I swallowed it down, and he handed me the water.
“Thank you.” My hand shook as I took it. My limbs felt like jelly, and my head was pounding. I reclined back on the bed, but my head had barely touched the pillow when I lurched back upright. As more vomit rushed up my throat, the bucket appeared in front of my face and I held on to it gratefully.
The whole night was horrendous. I couldn’t even keep down a mouthful of water, and my stomach ached with all the puking.
José was amazing; he stayed with me the entire time, wiping my face and rubbing my back. At one point, I heard him outside talking to Kai and Angie.
“Is she okay? Do you think we should call the doctor?” Angie asked.
José stood at my door and glanced back at me. “Well, if she’s not better in the morning, I will. She’s exhausted, and I think she is finally dozing off, so I’ll watch her in case she throws up in her sleep.”
Kai patted José on the back. “You sure you can handle this? Angie and I can take turns.”
“Nah, I’m fine. No use for all of us to get sick.” He glanced over at me again, and I closed my eyes. He was right, I was so very tired.
I woke around five and found José fully clothed sitting on the bed next to me. He had a text book on his lap and must have fallen asleep while he was reading it. I was quite struck by how he’d stayed and looked after me all last night, even though I could make him sick, too. Perhaps Angie was right, and maybe his feelings had changed. After all, this didn’t seem like it would be part of the no-strings-attached arrangement.
Quietly, I tiptoed over to my desk and grabbed my toiletry bag. My mouth tasted foul and I really needed to brush my teeth. Putting my hand to my stomach, I tried to assess how I was feeling as I went to the bathroom. The cramps had died down, and it had been around three hours since I last vomited. Hopefully, it was just one of those fast-moving viruses.
In the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. As I looked in the mirror, I realized that at some point José must have helped me out of my puke-stained clothes and into my pjs. The thought of him doing that for me made my heart swell.
I placed my toothbrush back into the bag and took out my birth control pills. Swallowing the next one on the dated packet, I washed it down with some water from the tap and made my way back to the bedroom.
José greeted me with a frown. “Did you vomit again?”
I shook my head, but the movement must have been too much for my recovering stomach because I immediately doubled over. José leaped off the bed and shoved the bucket into my hands. It was just in time as I threw back up the watery contents from my stomach. After that, the dry heaves started again.
José helped me back into bed. “That’s it, I’m calling the doctor.”
Food poisoning! Damn, I knew that spinach and chicken salad tasted weird.
“God, I’m so sorry I threw up all over your jeans.” The doctor had left fifteen minutes ago, and almost immediately, I’d been caught short again. This time, José’s reactions weren’t as fast, and I’d missed the bucket and sprayed him with vomit.
I couldn’t believe how well he’d taken it, and he just kept telling me not to worry. The rest of the day disappeared as I alternated between sleeping and heaving. But by six that evening, I was pretty sure I’d stopped throwing up altogether. My
headache had subsided, and my stomach cramps had vanished completely, but I felt so weak, that all I could do was fall asleep in José’s arms.
Around ten o’clock, he brought me a bowl of chicken soup. It had been more than six hours since I’d last vomited. The smell reached my nostrils and I actually felt a teensy bit hungry. “Here, I think it might be safe to try this.” He moved the cleaned out and sterilized bucket next to me on the bed. “But we’ll leave this here just in case.”
Smiling weakly, I nodded, and then let him spoon feed me the chicken soup. I put my hand to his arm after three spoons full. “Perhaps we should see if this stays down before I eat anymore?”
He grinned. “Probably a good idea.” He put the bowl down and then picked up his own. After he’d finished his soup, he grabbed mine again. “You want some more?”
I took it from him and finished the lot. My stomach actually felt so much better with something inside it. José leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “You should get some sleep. I think I will grab a shower, then if you want, I can stay with you to make sure you really are okay.”
“Thanks, that would be nice.”
I didn’t hear him come back from his shower, but he was there when I woke the next morning.
“How are you feeling today?” He beamed down at me and kissed my cheek.
“Like I could eat a horse.” My stomach gurgled to confirm it.
“Hmm, not sure I’d recommend horse meat, but I could make you some toast.”
“Toast actually sounds amazing.”
“Well, you go grab a shower while I make it.”
When I trotted into the kitchen after my shower, I felt like a whole new woman. As fast as the food poisoning had come on, it also seemed to have left my body. Feeling ravenous, I went to the table and José pulled me into his lap. “Is it safe to kiss you?”
I giggled. “Yes, I’m all better, thanks to you.”
He blushed a little and then wrapped his arms around me, his mouth bending to mine. “I was worried about you. I don’t think I have ever seen anyone throw up as much as you did.”
“Sorry. I really appreciated you sticking around.”
He stroked my hair, and for a moment we were lost in each other’s gaze. My heart swelled in my chest with an overwhelming love for this man.
As I lay my head on his shoulder, he rested his chin on the top of my head. “Mmm, this is nice.” He murmured as we cuddled.
Remembering that we were in the kitchen, I pulled back. “Shit, Kai and Angie might see us.”
But José held onto me. “They’re out. And it’s nice not to hide in my room, don’t you think?”
My heart galloped a little faster. “Y-yes, it is.”
“Um, I’ve been thinking…” José hesitated and I held my breath. Had he been having similar thoughts to me? “We have no matches for all of Memorial Day weekend, perhaps we could go away somewhere… if you wanted? Just be together?”
Oh, my God! Was this it? Was this the shift in our relationship that I’d been waiting for?
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I could do with a break, and, well, it might be fun to do something together, other than just fuck.”
I should have taken the opportunity to air my feelings right then, but from where I was sitting, it looked like José was making his own way around to my way of thinking. “We could go to my dad’s lake house. He’s away all that week, and it is miles from anywhere. We would be all alone to do what we liked.”
“All alone with you for an entire extended weekend, mmm, how could I resist?” José’s hand slipped under my robe, and he ran his fingers across my stomach and up to my breast. Parting the robe further, he bent to suckle on my breast, and he grew hard against my crotch. “You sure you’re feeling better?”
I sighed breathlessly, as I got caught up in what he was doing to my body. “Yes. Mmm.”
He pushed the robe down my arms, and I sat naked on his lap. Reaching beneath me, he undid the buttons on his jeans, and slipped the denim down his thighs. Awkwardly, he managed to maneuver me, so he could push inside.
God, he felt so good. There was no better feeling than him filling me up, and I immediately started to grind against him. Things got heated, fast. One hand cupped my breast as the other squeezed my ass, and his mouth plundered mine. Both of us seemed to have a desperate need for each other. It had only been a couple of days since we last had sex, but it felt like it could have been a whole month.
Within seconds, we were both sweating, and our movements were hurried, battling against each other in our race for satisfaction. For a moment, we synchronized, and, as we did, we climaxed together, moaning and groaning into each other’s mouths. I collapsed against him, and he held me tight, his breathing heavy as his cock grew limp inside me.
We ended up in the shower after that, and then we went for another round in José’s bed. Before he left to go to his game, he kissed me and asked, “You will be there?”
“Of course I will, José. I’m your lucky charm.”
He grinned down at me. “Yeah, you are. See you later.”
As I watched him go, I realized I’d completely messed up José’s game day routine. I crossed my fingers, hoping it wouldn’t hinder his play, but part of me was unrepentant. Something had changed between us, and I think I knew what it was.
Fifteen
José
A Week Later…
My team finished top in our division in the regular season, and we had four days to celebrate before we entered into the post season tournament. I’d had a fabulous second half of the year, and I attributed most of that success to Nora. She had not missed one home game since we began fucking each other.
Even the other day, after totally forgetting to focus on my game and spending half the day in bed with her, I still couldn’t put a foot wrong. This season was making me feel so much more confident for my future.
As I drove us to her father’s lake house, we were both excited. Spending four nights and three secluded days with no roommates to dodge, no sneaking around after everyone else went to bed, and no subduing Nora with my mouth or hand when she came—she could be as noisy as she liked, and no one would hear.
I was surprised Kai and Angie hadn’t zeroed in on what was going on, but I was pretty certain neither of them knew about me and Nora. Recently, I wondered if it would be easier to just come clean with them, but the whole point was I needed to keep what I had with Nora in a box. Some days that was harder than others. I’d really grown very fond of her, and it was so tempting to fall in love with her. But we had made a promise to each other. There were rules in place to stop either of us from being hurt, and to make sure I kept my focus on what was important—my game.
Nora’s dad’s place was nicer than I imagined. The property was huge and made me realize Nora’s family must have some serious money. Which was another reason we needed to keep with our plan. I knew how rich daddies could be, and was pretty sure Nora’s old man would not be keen on his daughter seeing a guy on a sports scholarship.
“What does your dad do?” I gazed up at the vast house. My mom’s place could have fit in there four times over.
“He’s a lawyer.”
Well, that figures. Yup, Nora’s daddy would not appreciate me being around his daughter at all.
“Come inside, I’ll show you around.”
The place was like something off the HGTV channel, and I hardly dared put my bag down in the hallway. “This is really nice,” I said, trying to keep the awe out of my voice. It was the kind of place I’d love to own one day, and I was determined I would. When I got that multi-million-dollar contract in the NHL, I was going to invest my money in a house that was swanky and shined like a new pin.
“Yeah, it’s a little ostentatious for me, but it has amazing views of the sunset.”
She took my hand and gave me the guided tour. When we reached our room, I encouraged her to help me try out the bed. Laying there afterwards with her n
aked body in my arms was pure bliss. We looked out over the lake and, even though we’d been too busy to see the sun setting, we watched the stars twinkling over it, and the moonlight illuminating the ripples on the water.
The whole weekend was blissful. We hung out in the game room in the basement and canoodled together on the huge sectional in the living room, watching TV. I watched her cook for us, and learned that Nora was actually a pretty good chef. “Daddy paid for this culinary course for my sixteenth birthday. At the time, I wanted to be a chef, but even though I loved cooking, I gave up that idea because I don’t think I could stand the awful hours.”
“Is that why you chose teaching, because the hours are better?” I winked at her. “All those long holiday breaks.”
“No. I chose a teaching major because my dad really wanted me to be a lawyer like him, and I was feeling rebellious… and a little angry at him at the time. My mom had married again during my last year of high school, and Dad made such a fuss about it. He had no right to, since they had been divorced for over ten years by then. Anyway, long story short, Mom married a teacher the second time around, and it was my way of telling my dad to fuck off.”
I laughed. “It’s as good a way to choose a major as any, I guess.” It was good to dig a little deeper into Nora’s past. Not that we hadn’t talked before, but I had never really found out that much about where she came from.
“What about you? Are your parents still together?”
“No. Dad died when Mia and I were pretty young. It was hard for a while. Mom had to work so much, but she always put Mia and I first. I was just glad we both were able to get full scholarships.”
For the entire long weekend, we went to bed early and slept in late. For three glorious nights and days we played at being a couple. There were no prying eyes, and we were able to just have fun. On the last night, I held her in my arms and almost felt sad to think we would be going back to our usual routine the next day. I’d enjoyed being able to kiss her when I wanted, to sit watching TV with my arms around her, and not feeling like anyone was questioning us. Even the sex seemed to have moved in a different direction. I was not sure what it was, but I found I wanted to take my time with her, and some of our lovemaking sessions turned into hours of a slow dance before the burn got too much for us.
Shut Out: Contemporary Sport Romance (Hockey Boyz Book 3) Page 10
