Mutual Desire

by Donna Grant

Arian’s head moved to look at the door before her gaze returned to him. “What is it? What did he say?”

  Jensen gently pulled out of her and held out his hand. “Our time is up, Princess. Your men are here.”

  9

  For a moment, Arian thought he might be joking, but the dead calm of his gaze showed her the truth.

  “No,” she whispered. “You must be mistaken. I’m not ready.”

  “It’s for the best,” he said and reached for her hand.

  “No,” she said again. “Tell them to go away.”

  Jensen brought her hand to his lips. He placed a kiss on her knuckles before turning her hand over and placing a kiss on her palm. “Let me help you dress, Princess.”

  Arian’s mind was numb. She stood and woodenly began to dress, taking great care with each hook and clasp to prolong her departure. Much too soon she was finished. She turned to Jensen to find he had also dressed. He sat in his chair, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together in front of him as his head hung to his chest.

  “I’m glad I was taken,” she said.

  He lifted his head and met her gaze. “Your men will not wait long, and I would rather there not be any bloodshed.”

  “I don’t want to say good-bye.” She took a step toward him, searching for some sign that he wanted her to stay. She would do anything to stay with him.

  He rose to his feet with a sigh, his hazel eyes filled with pain and regret. “Don’t make this harder than it already is. We both knew you only had a few days.”

  She opened her mouth to speak when Vlad’s voice billowed throughout the village.

  “Princess Arian? We’ve come to rescue you.”

  Arian heard the warriors begin to shout as they raced around the village. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think of a way to have her men leave. She didn’t want bloodshed either, and she couldn’t think of a reason to stay without her men.

  She moved to the door of Jensen’s hut and stepped through. Vlad and her men were being held back by the Yanomami warriors.

  “I’m here, Vlad,” she called. “All is well. Just give me a moment.”

  She hurried back into the hut to Jensen. “Come with me,” she begged. “We can make a life together.”

  He smiled ruefully. “I cannot.”

  “You can.”

  “Princess, your family and your kingdom need you. Go to them.”

  She swallowed, determined not to cry in front of him. The pain in her heart took her breath away. She had never expected Jensen to refuse her. “I won’t ever see you again, will I?”

  He walked past her and through the door. She blinked rapidly, but her vision still swam with unshed tears. How could fate be so cruel as to give her the one thing that could make her happy only to take it away?

  She had seen and felt the depth of Jensen’s feelings. Surely she hadn’t been mistaken. He cared for her.

  Enough to leave his life and became chained to Tulso?

  Arian cringed. Jensen was a wanderer. The blood in his veins demanded adventure and the horizon. She could only give him her heart, and she feared that might never be enough.

  As much as she hated to admit it, Jensen was right. She had to go back to her family. She had given her parents her vow she would return. She owed them at least that. But the rest…that would require some thought.

  She took a deep breath and took one last look at the hut Jensen called home and the place where she had found the love of a lifetime. She squared her shoulders and turned on her heel to walk outside.

  Arian halted as she saw her men surrounding the village and the Yanomami warriors watching them warily. She found Jensen standing next to the two warriors who had taken her. They were his friends, his family. Without them, she would never have found Jensen, never have known what it meant to truly love.

  She walked toward them. “Thank you,” she told the warriors, hoping they understood. “I owe you a great debt for what you have done for me.”

  The warriors exchanged a glance before they nodded.

  Arian turned to Jensen. She had never told him of her feelings, and by the pain in his eyes, it would only make things worse if she did. But her heart would forever carry the love she had for him.

  His hand reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “No, Princess, you won’t ever see me again,” he finally answered her question.

  “And if I carry your child? The babe will need a father.” She knew she was grasping at straws, but she had to know that she could contact him.

  He glanced at the ground. “You and the child would be better off with your intended husband.”

  “You don’t even want to know if there is a child?”

  “I’ll know.”

  She shook her head, unable to fathom how he could possibly know such a thing if she didn’t tell him. Before she could speak again, Vlad and the royal guards surrounded her.

  “Come, Your Highness.” Vlad’s big form stepped between her and Jensen.

  She looked around Vlad’s shoulder to the man she had fallen in love with. Tears blinded her. She hadn’t been able to say good-bye, hadn’t gotten one last kiss, hadn’t been able to feel his arms around her once more. She couldn’t leave.

  “She was taken by accident,” Jensen told Vlad and the guards. “Guard her well on your return to Tulso.”

  Vlad gave him a nod. Jensen then turned and disappeared into the throng of warriors.

  “Jensen, wait,” she called, but he didn’t return. “Jensen!”

  “Come, Your Highness,” Vlad urged her as he gently pulled her out of the village.

  Jensen!

  Arian let Vlad guide her, but she saw no more of the beauty of the Amazon. Her tears and the pain inside her were all she had.

  Jensen heard her call his name. He gripped a tree with both hands and felt the skin on his palms split open on the rough bark as he fought with himself. He wanted to run to her, to scoop her up in his arms and run far away from her guards and anything that reminded her of who she really was.

  But he was a realist. He knew she had no other choice but to leave.

  Still, he hadn’t expected to fall so deeply in love with her, nor had he anticipated feeling as if his heart had been ripped from his chest at her departure.

  He rested his head against the tree and fought the urge to run after her.

  “Jensen?”

  He lifted his head when Yuso approached.

  The warrior leaned a shoulder against the tree next to Jensen. “Will you be all right, my friend?”

  “No.”

  “I didn’t think so.”

  “I should have sent her away that first day.”

  Yuso straightened. “If you had, you wouldn’t know how much you love her.”

  Jensen snorted, his throat clogged with emotion. “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, aye?”

  “By loving her, you learned she is the one for you.”

  “She was never meant to be mine.”

  “I suppose this means you’re leaving?”

  Jensen released the tree and looked down at his cut hands. “Yes, I must leave. I’ll suffocate here with her presence surrounding me. I see her everywhere, in everything.”

  “You’ll see her everywhere no matter if you leave here or not. Your love for her is strong, and if she loves you in return, there will be a way for you to find each other again.”

  Jensen doubted it, but he cared too much for Yuso to say differently.

  “Come,” Yuso said. “Let us tend to those wounds before you leave.”

  Arian said not a word as she followed Vlad and Thomas through the rain forest. Vlad had asked her countless times if she had been injured or if the warriors had harmed her in any way. Each time she had answered no, until she couldn’t take him asking one more time.

  “Enough,” she bellowed. Birds flew from the trees around them. Arian hated that she had snapped at Vlad, but she was only so strong. She wanted to w
allow in her grief alone, not to be reminded with every step that she was leaving the man of her dreams behind.

  “As you wish,” Vlad replied woodenly.

  She had hurt his feelings, but it was nothing compared to the anguish she carried now with her. She had only thought her life was awful before, but now, after a taste of Jensen and the joy they had together, her future looked bleak indeed.

  Thomas tried to show her more of the Amazon, but Arian no longer cared. If she wasn’t with Jensen, she didn’t want to see it. He had shown her a part of the rain forest no guide could.

  They walked in silence now, their footsteps the only sound as they moved through the dense foliage. Even the Amazon seemed to feel her melancholy, for the monkeys had stopped yelling and the birds no longer sang as they normally did.

  With each step away from Jensen, she felt herself grow cold, isolated. Dead. Her view of the world had changed in a few short days, and it wasn’t for the better.

  She had come to the Amazon, spoiled and thinking herself above such things as love. Then she had been given to Jensen, and she had come to understand what it was to love someone, to see that there was more to being a princess than jewelry and pretty gowns. She had always hated the rules before, but now they seemed pointless and confining.

  By the time they reached the port, Arian was numb.

  “Here’s your room, Your Highness,” Vlad said as he opened her door to her hotel room.

  She walked in and immediately went to the window that overlooked the rain forest. Jensen was out there somewhere. She wondered what he was doing and if he longed to come after her as much as she wanted to return to him.

  “What happened, Princess?”

  She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. “Nothing, Vlad, and too much.”

  “You’re different.”

  “Yes.”

  “Did the American harm you?”

  She shook her head. “No. He loved me.”

  Vlad sighed. “There is a boat that leaves on the morrow at dawn. Maybe it’s best if we are on it.”

  Arian let her tears fall unheeded. If she didn’t leave tomorrow, she didn’t know if she would ever have the strength to leave. “All right,” she finally answered.

  “I’ll get the tickets right away.”

  Arian closed her eyes, the ache in her heart too great to bear.

  Jensen took one last look at the hut. His gaze strayed to the bed. He could still see Arian bound, her body glistening with the oil.

  He had wanted only a taste of her, but he had gotten so much more than that. Already his chest felt empty, as if she had taken his heart when she left. She had held his heart from that first look long ago in Tulso, he just hadn’t realized until now how much he loved her.

  Jensen walked from his hut to see the entire village stood waiting to say farewell. They had been his family, his friends. No other place had been more difficult to leave, but he had no other choice. Without Arian, the Amazon was no longer his paradise.

  “Are you sure?” Magwi asked.

  Jensen nodded. There was no way he could spend even one night in his bed without Arian. “I’m sure.”

  “You will be missed, brother.”

  He faced the warrior and tried to smile. “Thank you for bringing her to me.”

  “It was our pleasure,” Yuso said. “If I had known how much it would pain you when she left, I might not have pointed her out to Magwi.”

  Jensen shook his head. “No. I’m glad you did.”

  “So she was worth the pain?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  Magwi was the first to step forward. Jensen embraced him before moving to Yuso.

  “Why don’t we come with you to the port?” Magwi asked.

  Jensen considered it. He was going to miss the two warriors who had welcomed him into the tribe. They were like brothers to him, but his pain was so intense, he felt the need for a solitary walk. “Not this time.”

  Yuso sighed. “Will you ever return to us?”

  “One day.”

  “Where will you go?”

  Jensen shrugged. Nothing held any appeal to him. “I don’t know.”

  “Why not go after your princess?” Magwi suggested.

  “She’s not meant for me. She never was.”

  “Only time will tell. Be safe, my brother.”

  Jensen slung his satchel and bag over his shoulder. Magwi and Yuso fell in step behind him as he walked through the settlement. Jensen stopped at the edge of the village before the chief and forced a smile.

  “We’re sad to see you go, Jensen,” the chief said.

  “Thank you for your hospitality and for giving me a home with the Yanomami.”

  The chief bowed his head. “You will always be welcome with the Yanomami.”

  Jensen turned and lifted his hand in farewell. After one more nod to Magwi and Yuso, he faded into the forest.

  The morning dawned bright and clear, a direct contrast to how Arian felt. She stood with Vlad on the dock watching the ship that would return her to Tulso. No sleep had found her last night, but she hadn’t expected it to. Thoughts of Jensen—of his hazel eyes, wicked grin, and amazing body—filled her mind.

  “Princess?”

  She squeezed her eyes closed. Jensen had used her title as an endearment, his voice husky, sensual. Everything he did was sexual, and it had opened an entirely new world to her.

  God, how she missed him. The anguish inside her was so huge, she knew it would never leave her.

  She realized despite her intended marriage, despite her promise to her parents, she wasn’t leaving the Amazon without the man she loved.

  She whirled around to Vlad. “Get my bags off the ship. I’m not going home yet.”

  “But, Your Highness…”

  She held up her hand for him to stop. “I’m only going to say this once, Vlad. I appreciate your loyalty to me and my family, but I refuse to get on that boat. Now, you can either find Thomas or some other guide that will take me back to the Yanomami tribe, or you can get on the ship and explain to my parents why you left me here.”

  Vlad’s thick shoulders hunched in defeat. He ran a meaty hand down his face. “I knew something transpired between you and that American.”

  “Yes. Something did transpire between us. I love him.” She smiled. It felt wonderful to say it out loud. “I refuse to live out my life without him in it.”

  “What of your intended?”

  “I don’t care.”

  Vlad crossed his arms over his chest. “Your parents went to a lot of trouble to find you a good match.”

  “But he’s not a good match for me,” she argued. “Jensen is. He’s the one I want. He’s the only one that could give me any happiness. Princess or not, don’t I deserve that?”

  Vlad nodded. “Of course, Your Highness. Everyone deserves that. I know you haven’t been happy, but I didn’t realize it was about the upcoming wedding.”

  “I didn’t either.” She laughed, the day suddenly looking bright and full of adventure. “But now that I do, I cannot go through with it. I know my parents will be furious.”

  “They’ll likely disown you. It will cause a scandal.”

  “We are royalty, Vlad. Shouldn’t we be able to do what we want without worrying what everyone else will think?”

  The bodyguard pressed his lips together as he let out a breath. “I won’t leave you here alone, you know that. I’ll look for Thomas, but I have one question for you.”

  “What would that be?”

  “What if your Jensen won’t have you?”

  Arian lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I won’t know until I ask him, and I have to ask again. He needs to know I love him. I won’t forgive myself unless I do.”

  “All right, Your Highness. I’ll take you to your Jensen.”

  Her Jensen. She liked the sound of that. He was hers. For the first time since leaving the village two days prior, Arian felt as if she was doing the right thing. She should have to
ld Jensen about her feelings before she left, but she had been too hurt. And too scared of how he would respond.

  Regardless of his answer, she had to try. Thank God she had realized her mistake before she boarded the boat. Even if Jensen refused to have her, she wouldn’t marry the man her parents had chosen for her.

  Though she had responsibilities to her family and kingdom, she also had a responsibility to her heart, and her heart belonged to Jensen.

  What if you are carrying Jensen’s child?

  She put a hand to her stomach and smiled. Just thinking of her stomach growing with their baby made her giddy. After the desire she had seen in Jensen’s face, she couldn’t imagine him not wanting her. But if for some reason he didn’t, she was determined to raise their child on her own.

  Her gaze shifted to the rain forest. She knew he planned to leave. She had precious little time to find him. If only she had told him of her love before she left.

  If only I had never left him.

  10

  “What do you mean, he’s gone?” Arian felt sick to her stomach as she stared at the warrior called Yuso. He was one of the two that had taken her for Jensen, and, amazingly, he spoke English thanks to lessons from Jensen.

  Yuso’s brown eyes were full of sorrow as he looked at her. “I’m sorry, Princess. He left the same day as you.”

  Arian shook her head. “There must be some mistake.” This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t have lost him, not when she had been so close.

  She scanned the rain forest. He could have gone in any direction. Jensen was a nomad, going wherever the tide or his heart took him.

  Her gaze returned to Yuso. “Did he say where he was going?”

  The warrior shook his head sadly.

  Her head began to swim. The world spun around her, and she reached for something to hold on to.

  “Easy, Your Highness,” Vlad whispered as he steadied her.

  She blinked through her tears. “He’s gone. I’ve lost him, Vlad.”

  “I heard,” he said softly. “There is nothing for you here now. Come. Let me take you home.”

  Arian looked at Yuso again. “If he returns, will you tell him I came back for him?”