Hardin's War

by A.S. Morrison

VII

  The morning came too soon. I woke up in the chair but don’t remember falling asleep. I emptied my old hunting bag made of deer hide, and filled it with water jugs and left over Nutrition I couldn’t bring myself to eat before. It was about time to leave. Mama was asleep. I woke her to say goodbye.

  “Mama, I’m leaving now. Is there anything I can get you?”

  “No, I don’t suppose there is. The medics are going to come by with food later.”

  “Are you sure you’re alright with me going? The team is ready; I can send them on alone.”

  She shook her head. “No, no, you are the leader; you need to go.”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “She smiled sleepily. “Don’t be, you’ll do great. I love you, Hardy.”

  “I don’t know,” I said uncertainly, “you’re restricted to your room, you can barely get out of bed.”

  “I’ve always complained about not getting enough sleep.”

  “Mama!”

  She laughed. “Don’t mind me, go out there and have a good time.”

  “What if something happens to me? The chances are really high.” I said it without thinking that it might make her fear for me.

  “Don’t think of it. The more you think of bad things happening the more you’ll be certain they will.”

  “Sometimes we have to think of things.” I whispered.

  “I know, but don’t dwell, that’s where the problems are.”

  “Do you think you’ll get better? I mean do you really think it?” I didn’t want to ask, but I couldn’t leave without knowing her answer.

  “Yes, absolutely. Now go, the faster you leave the faster you can get back.”

  “And what if I don’t find anything?”

  She took my hand. “You will, now go.”

  “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “I know you will.”

  She rested her head back on the pillow. I waited until she was snoring softly to go. In a strange way, I felt like I was going to miss that bizarre smell of our residence. When the door closed behind me I refused to look back. I would have plenty of time to look forward when I got back.

  The noise of breakfast filled Humurom. Only a few people were in the halls. I found myself alone in the hall that led up to 1 and began talking with myself, hoping to keep myself calm.

  “No one is going to die. No one will. I’m certain, but what if I do? So what if I do. No! Mama needs me . . . I need me. But what if I do? I will. No, no, no. I can’t think about that. I won’t think of it. We are going to make trust, I’ll be a hero and Mama will get better. That’s all that’s going to happen. But what if it doesn’t? It will!”

  I stopped in the dark hallway. I focused on my breathing, on slowing it, releasing the fear. I couldn’t do it. It was too late to change anything. I kept walking, ready for anything. Several people who were also in the hall stopped me and said that Humurom was depending on us. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, and I didn’t spend very much time thinking about it.

  The giant exit door was already a popular destination, with six people hanging around beside it, the four hunters along with Matilik and Stud. When I came up Matilik gathered us all together.

  “All ready?” He asked happily.

  “Yes.” I announced without consulting anyone else.

  “Then good luck, and goodbye.” He strode off without another word.

  The hunters looked serious, determined. Peter looked excited, he was about to go outside for the first time in his life.

  “Let’s head out.” Peter tried to unlock the door. He had no idea what he was doing, so the guard came and did it for him.

  Stud stood out of our way, watching. “Hardin.” He called. I went to him. He wished me good luck.

  “Stud, please look after my mother.”

  “I will don’t worry.”

  My breathing grew shallower than Mama’s. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

  “You’re going to be fine; you’re going to make things better.

  I shook my head as the nausea came back. “I don’t know if that’s possible now.”

  Stud grinned to make me feel better. “Hey, unless things are perfect things can still get better. And there’s certainly nothing here that’s perfect.”

  I nodded.

  “Just breathe and walk on.”

  “Yeah.”

  Stud led me to the door. “Hardin, come back with a bunch of food.”

  “I will.”

  The door closed with a soft thud. I slowly turned around to see the world for the first time in almost a year. Everything was still, as it always was. A bright gray light from the sky lit the ruined landscape as far as the eye could see. The fresh air felt good on my face and in my lungs. The ground was littered with jagged bits of walls. Since working in the files I learned so much about how the world looked before. I never noticed it before, but streets and alleys could still be seen among the wreckage. I imagined houses and yards, just like I had seen in books. It depressed me to see how far away from that we were. I longed for it so badly. I would have given anything to walk down one of those streets before the war. But I knew that I never would.

  We climbed down the ladder and began our trek into the unknown. The only clue I had as to where the Cityers might be was the guard that Milton knocked out. He had been a little past the Hunting Grounds and that is where we were headed.

  No one spoke. I was busy making up a plan that I should have already made up, and the hunters were focused on being silent. Peter made the most noise. He looked around in awe at everything around him, missing key steps and muddying his boots only minutes in. As I looked at the others I noticed something that I forgot: weapons. Peter had a long wooden club hanging from his belt, Lace carried a long wooden spear that was sharpened at one end, Morome had a thin metal tube accompanied by several projectile needles, and Dala had two weapons. The first was a thin metal tube which was jagged at one end, and a wooden bow. I had never seen a bow in person; she must have been the only person in Humurom with one. Dala seemed to notice that I was eyeing the weapons.

  “This is big time buddy, you’re gonna need a weapon.” She handed me her thin metal tube. “Now I suppose that we are just going to head out until we find one of their cities. Any word from the files on where they might be?”

  “Not a one.” I said dismally.

  “At least we have something to go on.” She sneered. “If you want to be the leader you better get to the front, Peter was trying to call the shots this morning.”

  “He’s smart.”

  “He’s also never been outside Humurom.” She jumped over a large stone, landing silently on the other side.

  “Then why are you following him.” I thought about jumping the same rock to show off, but I had a feeling I would just land on my face.

  “I’m more of an ‘attack from the back’ type hunter. But I do have a question. When you were attacked, what did they use?”

  I thought back to that day when we were attacked. I had tried for nine months to completely forget it, but it never really left me. It visited in my dreams, and at odd hours when I had nothing else to think about. “I’m not sure, but there were a lot of little explosions.”

  “Grenades most likely, I’ve read about them. They would definitely do that. Did you know that you are the only person to survive a Cityer attack? I think that’s why the leaders approved this. They think you fought them or something. Did you?”

  “Nobody has ever asked me how I survived. I think that they thought it must be too traumatic for me to retell it.”

  “How did it happen?” She asked quietly.

  All eyes were now on me. Everyone wanted to know my answer. “One of their grenades went off near me and I blacked out. When I came to they were gone.”

  They all went back to what they were doing. Dala looked disappoint
ed. “Oh. They thought you were dead. That leaves another question. Why didn’t they just follow you home instead of attack?”

  “I wonder that a lot.”

  I disappointed them in some way. I never heard the rumors about how I fought the Cityers, but I guess I wouldn’t since I spent my time trying to block out the rest of the world. The hunters must have thought I was some big hero, ready to go back and beat up a few more Cityers. I feared that that was the only reason why they came, to see me in action again. If they still believed that I did those things than they were going to be really disappointed.