What if Only Adam Bit the Apple?

by James Serio

  Chapter 2

  What followed was a culture shock of unimaginable proportions. Adam and Eve looked with horror and amazement at their new home. The landscape was barren and and it was unbelievably hot! The ground was hard and rocky. Away from the river, there was little vegetation and there were these weird barrel like plants with stickers. Ouch! There was nothing like this in the Garden of Eden.

  They could still see the meandering Euphrates River with its abundance of reeds sprouting from the shoreline. Near the shoreline there were grasses and even some palm trees.They built a crude hut from palm fronds, which provided some relief. But they were still hot and sticky.

  But as the day wore on and evening approached, they could feel the cool of the evening. "What a relief," said Adam. "Hopefully that will never happen again."

  However, as night approached, the "cool" became increasingly cold. What kind of hell were they now in? In the Garden, the weather was always just perfect. They were always comfortable during the day and the weather was slightly warmer at night. So they were always comfortable even though they didn't used to wear clothes.

  But now. Adam and Eve quickly surmised that their very survival was at stake. They clung to each other throughout the night covered with the animal skins God had made for them.

  As time passed, Adam and Eve adapted to their new and very different life. Adam reluctantly began tilling the ground and Eve became increasingly skilled at hunting.

  Gardening was very different than before. Before, in the Garden, the ground was soft, mulch-like and incredibly rich. It was incredible what would grow. And every evening a mist would emanate from the ground so that the garden was always well-watered.

  But now, the ground was mostly dry, sandy with rocks in abundance. And you had to carry water from the river most days just to keep the plants alive.

  One day, there was an unusually heavy rain which made it impossible to do any work. Adam and Eve could do little more than shelter themselves in their now expanded palm frond hut. But the roof was leaking, the firewood was soaked and it was a struggle just to keep warm. Everyone was in a bad mood.

  And it was Eve's time of the month.

  Adam again started to complain about their present circumstances: "If you had just let the Serpent help us with our problems, none of this would have happened! The Serpent would have been able to help us get along and I would never have eaten of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. We would still be living in Eden."

  "So this is all my fault?" said Eve.

  Adam started to respond in the affirmative, but as he looked up he saw something which made him pause to say the least. He saw Eve in a whole new light: Here was this tall, strong, muscular female with her fist clinched and a resolute look on her face. It was clear she was about to do some serious damage. He felt apprehensive to say the least!

  "Ah, I guess not," said Adam. "I didn't mean it that way."

  Adam focused on Eve's fist and was relieved as it slowly unraveled. "I hope not" said Eve.

  God had ordained a Sabbath, one day out of seven, as a day of rest dedicated to the Lord. And on the Sabbath, Eve would, as before, spend time with God. And Adam, as was his custom, would go and talk with his trusted friend the Serpent.

  "This is awful," said Adam, "I can't believe how hard it is just to eat. Why did this have to happen?"

  "I feel awful," said the Serpent. "If I could, I would gladly have taken the entire penalty myself. I just had no idea . . ."

  "It wasn't your fault," said Adam. "You were only trying to help."

  "I know," said the Serpent. "But I still feel bad."

  "Why would God do something like this?" said Adam.

  "God's problems are more serious than I had thought," said the Serpent. "It's more than just low self-esteem, God has a serious personality disorder."

  "What can be done?" said Adam.

  "Unfortunately, not much" said the Serpent. "You can't help someone who doesn't think He has a problem and doesn't want help."

  "Well, at least I still have you," said Adam. "I don't know how I could make sense of the world and survive without you."

  "I'll be available whenever you need me," said the Serpent. "Now, it's getting late and you'd better get some sleep. You've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."

  "Okay, good night" said Adam. "Good night," said the Serpent.

  The next day Eve seemed different somehow. "Have you noticed anything different about me?" she asked.

  "Well, you've been pretty irritable," said Adam. "Which, for you, is pretty strange. And you keep getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, which you didn't used to do. And those cramps you've been talking about. This is definitely different. I should have asked the Serpent."

  "I'm pregnant," said Eve. "We're going to have a baby."

  Adam was shocked: "How do you know?"

  "God told me," said Eve.

  What followed was a human population boom which Adam and Eve could scarcely believe. Every nine or ten months a baby came, one after another.

  Eve's firstborn was named Deborah. She would become a skilled hunter, like her mother and, in the due course of time, a fearsome warrior and tribal leader.

  Next came Belinda who, along with her descendants, were the first miners and blacksmiths. They devised useful farming tools, and later, implements of war.

  Then came Cathy who, along with her descendants, were the first carpenters and lumberjacks. They were the builders of homes and cities.

  Sarah and her descendants were crop farmers who perfected the ancient art and greatly increased production.

  Alicia and her descendants raised livestock of all varieties and were highly esteemed for the quality of their meats.

  Julie and her descendants were scholars and teachers. They perfected the written word and were the first librarians.

  There were, of course, sons as well as daughters. But sons' names were never recorded in the annals of history.

  In those days, men and women lived for hundreds of years. And babies and children were always abundant.

  And so the earth became populated and civilization became established on the earth.

  As was the custom, from ancient times, people everywhere would take one day off every week to rest from their labors. And every Sabbath, some would gather to hear from God while others would go to hear from the Serpent. Some people would go back and forth, undecided as to which path they should choose.

  God was loving and kind, but he would not hesitate to rebuke those in his presence who violated His commandments. He expected them to confess and forsake their sins.

  The Serpent was also kind and compassionate, but he did not presume to tell others how to live. He rather taught that everyone should find their own path to happiness; that everyone should define their own spirituality and their own morality. He would often say: "Nothing is right or wrong, but thinking makes it so."

  Since the Serpent could not be in more than one place at a time, his teachings were, of necessity, taught on the Sabbath by those schooled in his teachings. These were inspirational speakers and became known as serpentologists. To become a serpentologist required years of rigorous training as well as the personal approval of the Serpent. Serpentologists became highly esteemed on the earth and were sought out as comforters, counselors and teachers.

  The Serpent himself would still make occasional appearances. When he did, people marveled at their good fortune. They would talk of the privilege of seeing and hearing the Serpent in person for months on end.

  On one such occasion, everyone was shocked and dismayed when the Serpent was challenged by a woman who had recently been to one of the Lord's gathering. She said God told her the Serpent was "evil." The crowd was ready to take her outside of the sacred assembly and stone her to death!

  But the Serpent motioned to the crowd and calmed everyone down. Then he said this: "We teach children not to call others names. Just because someone is more popular than you are doesn't me
an you should be unkind. I would never call God evil." And people were even more awestruck at the wisdom, humility and maturity of the Serpent.

  As the teachings of the Serpent became increasingly popular, God chose to no longer talk face to face with men and women on the earth. But His Word and commandments were on parchments and available for those intent on learning them. And every Sabbath, ministers who had studied the Scriptures, would proclaim the Word of God to those who chose to come and listen.

  Only women could be ministers of the gospel, for so the Lord had commanded. Men were to be in submission, and listen quietly.

  Because people preferred the Serpent, God gave men and women over to a depraved mind. And increasingly the world was filled with wickedness, violence and strife. It was taught by God's ministers that a relationship with God, and the use of Scripture, was the only effective way to overcome depravity.

  There was also the advent of mental illness. Some men and woman walked around stark raving mad! Others would hear voices telling them that they were bad and should hurt themselves, kill themselves or even kill other people. And they couldn't make the voices go away.

  And sometimes people would do what the voices told them to do!

  There were other problems as well. Some people were so depressed that they wanted to die. There was anxiety and panic attacks. Some people would starve themselves to death. What could possibly be going on?

  It was taught in the churches that spiritual warfare is a fact of life; that the Serpent has invisible companions called demons who, like the