Raining On Heaven

by Amanda Foote

  Cadence was looking a little worn out so Rosebud took over the stroller. We passed a water fountain and Cadence flocked to it like a moth to a flame. “It is way hotter than I expected today,” she said when she returned to us. Her bangs were matted to her forehead and she had started to get visible sweat marks under her arms and on her tank top in the area beneath her bra.

  “Cadence,” Marlene approached her, “are you feeling alright?”

  Cadence perked up. “Of course! Just a little more exertion than I’m used to. I’ll be fine.” We continued on and reached the Great Escape, a small air-conditioned building that centered the ape enclosures. Cadence took a seat on one of its wooden benches while the rest of us approached one of the glass walls.

  There were two gorillas, a mama and a baby. The mama gorilla was looking very serious, watching as her baby swung around playfully on the ropes hanging about the enclosure. I pointed her out to Dillard. “She doesn’t like it when he’s monkeying around.” He smirked at me, and Liberty Bell gave me a skeptical look. “What?” I said. “It’s a pun.”

  Dillard laughed. “I give you an Ape-plus for that pun!”

  “Oh Jesus save me,” Liberty Bell said, but she was grinning. The baby gorilla had stopped swinging and was now snacking on a piece of orange-colored fruit. Possibly mango, but it was hard to tell..

  “It’s so cuuuuuuute,” Liberty Bell squealed, resting on her knees directly in front of the baby. Rosebud had joined her and they were both making funny faces at the gorilla. Marlene and I had just started laughing at them when a sharp and upsetting gasp from Bobby caught my attention.

  “Cadence!” he shouted, and at this I whipped around to find that Cadence had collapsed in an unconscious heap beside the bench. We rushed to her. Marlene calmly handed her cell phone to Liberty Bell and told her to call an ambulance. Bobby took Bliss to the other side of the building. Dillard crouched behind Cadence and propped her limp body up into his arms. Rosebud grabbed Cadence’s hand and held on to it. Marlene checked her pulse and made sure she was still breathing.

  And I just sat there.

  Vacant.

  Clueless.

  Helpless.

  The zoo emergency staff reached us before the ambulance did. They rushed Cadence, Marlene and I in a golf cart to the front of the zoo where we met the ambulance that was waiting for us. “Only room for one,” they said, so Marlene climbed into the back of the ambulance. The vehicle clamored away and I waited silently at the gate for the others to catch up to me. It took them seven minutes and thirty two seconds to reach me. Rosebud was silently crying, a surprise to me since she didn’t really know Cadence. Bobby was still clutching tightly to Bliss, and Liberty Bell was pale and clinging firmly to Bobby’s free arm. Dillard approached me and sat quickly on the bench next to me and wrapped his arm around me. I let him. “Let’s go,” he said, and we did.

  ✽✽✽

  Cadence was admitted into room 124 after her trip to the emergency room. The doctors told her that she had not had enough fluids and it had wreaked havoc on her already frail system. Her oncologist in L.A. was called, and he demanded she stay one night in the hospital for observation, then she could be discharged but with strict instructions of house arrest and bed rest requirement.

  Marlene had already left to go home when I reached the hospital room. Liberty Bell had driven me to the hospital after we dropped everyone else off, and she was waiting with Bliss in the lobby for me to return. I knocked softly on Cadence’s door and she responded with a weak, “Come in.” She was watching an I Love Lucy rerun when I opened the door. She had an IV in one arm and a pulse monitor clamped onto her finger. She laughed at something on the television, then turned to me to say, “Hi Heaven.”

  “Hey,” I answered. I tried to think of something else to say, but nothing came to mind.

  She smiled briefly. “That was scary, huh?”

  “Kinda, yeah,” I said.

  She sighed, and patted the arm of the chair next to her bed. “Sit down. We should talk.” I took a seat in the plush purple chair. It was more comfortable than I thought it would be. She took a long look at me. “You’re shaking,” she said softly.

  I glanced down to see that she was right. I hadn’t noticed. She smiled again, but weakly. “I don’t know if it was obvious in my letter, Heaven. So I want to be perfectly clear.” I looked at her expectantly.

  She sighed. “This cancer is going to kill me.”

  I said nothing.

  “And it’s going to do it soon.”

  I took a breath, not realizing I’d been holding it in. “Why don’t you do chemotherapy?” I asked her.

  She sighed. “I did chemo for a long time. It wasn’t helping. This cancer is too aggressive. I told them I didn’t want to do it anymore, and I stopped going to appointments. They told me I had seven months, at best. That was five months ago.”

  I tried to hold her strong brown-eyed gaze, but I couldn’t do it, and I shifted my eyes to the TV. “Okay,” I said.

  “I know that information might be hard to process.”

  I nodded, shifting my eyes back to hers. “Yes.”

  “But it’s what’s going to happen, and I want you to be prepared.”

  “Okay.”

  She leaned deeper into her pillow. “I called a lawyer. He is going to come to the house. We’re going to adjust my will.” I frowned. “I think we should talk about our parents’ will too.”

  “Why?” I asked, and when I did, my voice broke. I choked back a cough.

  “They left things to me that I won’t need. We need to figure out where they should go. I want to leave them to Bliss, but… she’s not even one yet.”

  “Okay.” I said.

  “So I’m gonna leave them to you. And I’m also going to leave you with the most precious thing I own, Heaven. I want you to take care of Bliss when I die.”

  Suddenly I couldn’t swallow this lump that had appeared in my throat. “What?” I croaked. “Why?”

  “I can’t even pick up my daughter anymore.” I didn’t say anything, but only because I knew this was true but didn’t want to admit it. She went on. “You’re my sister. You’re her aunt. If you can’t do it, I can leave her to Marlene. But I want it to be you.” I stared at her silently. “Can you at least promise me you’ll think about it, Heaven?”

  I nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll think about it.”

  “Will you bring Bliss in?” she smiled.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  I found the siblings in the lobby with Bliss but Dillard had disappeared. “She wants to see Bliss,” I told them. Dillard snuck up behind me and squeezed my shoulders, and I jumped.

  “Sorry!” he exclaimed, grinning sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to startle you!” I turned around and Dillard was clad in a white doctor’s coat that he had found who even knows where, with a stethoscope around his neck and a name tag that said “Dr. Adrian Masterson” clipped to his pocket.

  “Dillard, what are you doing?” I said flatly. “You’re not a doctor. You can’t wear that.”

  “No,” he laughed. “I’m not a doctor. But I’m a good-looking man, and according to Grey’s Anatomy those are basically the same.”

  I shook my head, smiling slightly, while Liberty Bell burst into laughter behind us. Her innocent disregard for the situation punched me in the gut. “You’re going to get in trouble,” I said. “I don’t need that right now.”

  “Okay,” he said, surprising me by leaning down to give me a quick kiss on my forehead. “I know. I’ll go put it back, okay?”

  “Thank you,” I told him, and turned around to retrieve Bliss from Liberty Bell. I brought her to Cadence, leaving them alone for a while. After forty six minutes, we all went home. Well, all except for Cadence.

  Chapter Six.

  The hospital released Cadence the following day. As promised, they discharged her with strict instructions for a healthier diet and mandatory bed rest. Cadence agreed to obey but upon returning home imme
diately admitted to us that she had no intention of maintaining a healthy diet, sticking to her personal mantra that her life would be short and she would eat what she wanted. Marlene and I conceded to this, however, we strictly forbade her from leaving her bedroom except for the occasional bathroom break, so we set her up with a TV in her room and purchased her own Netflix account for all the instant streaming she wanted.

  Marlene also brought down a copy of every single one of her books and as well as multiple other books she wanted Cadence to read, and bought her a little bell to ring if she needed anything and purchased a new toddler bed for Bliss to go right next to Cadence’s bed. She laughed when she saw it all and said she’d never felt more comfortable in her entire life. Then she cried and we hugged her and Marlene made dinner and we all ate quietly, except for Bliss who laughed and said “No!” every time Cadence tried to give her a bite, and after dinner Cadence sleepily retired to her room.

  The following morning I had an interview for a job at the library. Dillard had found out about it and for some reason insisted on driving me to it, even though it was only two short miles away and I could have easily driven myself in Marlene’s car. He arrived at the house at 8 AM, even though the interview wasn’t for another hour and a half. “You’re early,” I said, still in my pajamas. “I haven’t even gotten ready yet!”

  He laughed and his forehead crinkled. “I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be late! I guess I got a little ahead of myself.”

  “Whatever,” I smiled, and left him to his devices in the foyer while I returned upstairs to shower. The water was sickly cold at first but it quickly turned warm and I hopped in. Though I knew it to be a necessary daily task, lately I’d grown to hate showering. I would dread it all evening and all night, only showering in the morning at the last possible minute when I had somewhere to be or people to see. In the shower I was the most alone, the most vulnerable, the most empty. It’s where I felt everything. I don’t know, maybe something about the way the hot water mixing with the cold air lifted into steam pulled the emotions out of me. It came slipping back to me, as quickly as the water rushed over my skin. The leathery cushion against my legs. The back of Dad’s head. Mom’s laugh. The cold rain staining the window. The smell of exhaust. The rev of an engine. Loud crashing noises banging on my door.

  No, that was an actual knock on the bathroom door. “Yes?” I said, accidentally swallowing half a bucket of water in my surprise.

  “You alright in there? You’ve been in there a while,” Marlene called from the hallway.

  I assured her I was fine, finished showering and grabbed a towel.

  When I emerged, freshly showered and dressed and perfumed, I found Dillard in Cadence’s room playing with Bliss and watching Frasier with Cadence. I glanced at my phone, 9:15 AM. “You ready?” I asked him. He looked up, surprised to see me, his eyes bright with the last remnant of a laugh.

  “Yeah, let’s go!” He stood up, kissed Bliss on her forehead, and we left.

  “Take a right up here,” I said a few minutes later. “The library is on the left.” He pulled up in front to drop me off. “I’ll text you when I’m done and I’ll wait out front for you,” I said to him as I gathered my things and rushed out the door.

  “Good luck!” he yelled to me as I escaped into the revolving door of the library.

  I’d been here only a few days before but I still felt that same rush I feel every time I enter a room full of books - like I’ve just entered another realm. It’s like I could feel the worlds within every spine on the shelf pulsating toward me, calling out to me, whispering my name. I’ve gotten lost in libraries before, lost inside whole other realities and magical galaxies full of fresh faces and new friends… old ones, too. To me, there was nothing more magical than the way a book captured every essence of who I was without saying a word about me at all.

  The lady at the front desk, Joann, sent me to a small room with a desk and a chair at the back of the library, where Mrs. Canton was waiting for me. “Hi there!” she smiled. Her curly red hair was pulled up into a loose top knot and she wore thick black eyeliner with that “flick” style that I’ve never been able to master and bright red lipstick. She lifted a purple coffee mug that said “World’s Best Librarian” to her bloodstain lips as she said, “You must be Heaven.”

  “Yes ma’am, that’s me.”

  “Why don’t you have a seat?” she said.

  I obeyed. I pulled out a copy of my resume for her and handed it her way. “This is my resume. It lists each of my previous employers as well as my skills and assets.”

  She pulled her thick green glasses up over her hair and glanced down at it. “Yes, I see. Very impressive. I see you worked at a movie theater in L.A. for seven months at the age of sixteen, then at a library from age sixteen to March of this year. Why did you leave the library there in L.A.?”

  I made sure to maintain eye contact with her because Marlene told me when I talked about the crash I had a tendency to look down at my feet. I looked straight into her eyes and said quickly but strongly, “My parents passed away in March. I had to let my job at the library go. They wanted me to stay, but it was necessary for me to move here to Oklahoma, so I gave notice and moved. Now I’m here.” I mustered a sad smile.

  “Oh dear. I’m very sorry about that. That must have been hard.” She matched my sad smile with one of her own, one of understanding and empathy.

  “It was. It is. But I want to move on and let the past be the past. I have a deep love for literature and books are a passion of mine. This is why I’m here, at your library.”

  She grinned. “That’s great. I love to hear that young people still have an appreciation for literature. Well Heaven, I just want to run a quick test of your alphabetizing and chronology knowledge and if all looks well, I’d really like to bring you on as a new member of our staff.”

  I smiled. “That’s great.”

  After having me put some books in order first by author’s last name and later by Dewey Decimal System chronological order, she asked if I could come in the next day and handed me a schedule. “Thank you, Mrs. Canton. I really needed this pick me up.”

  She smiled a wide smile, teeth and all. “It’s my pleasure to have you on board, Heaven. Call me Patrice.”

  ✽✽✽

  Liberty Bell and Bobby dragged an unwilling Melonie and me and a very enthusiastic Dillard to the local skating rink that night, Star Skate. Dillard tried to be what he called “chivalrous” and pay mine and Liberty Bell’s way in (Bobby had already paid for Melonie), but being somewhat feministic we both refused his money and split his ticket two ways, then paid for our own. He smiled a half grin and said to me, “You continue to surprise me, Heaven.”

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed some skates.

  Dillard and Bobby spent most of the night racing, which actually turned out well because Melonie, Liberty Bell and I spent most of the evening sitting at a table with an order of nachos and jalapenos (for Melonie) and chatted. I’d never really had much opportunity for girl chat because Lila and I had never really had that kind of friendship, and I’d never felt quite close enough to anyone but my mom to spill my secrets.

  “So, what’s your story, Heaven?” Melonie asked me as she shoved three juicy jalapenos into her mouth at once. She barely even winced. I couldn’t understand it; I’d accidentally gotten a droplet of the juice on my pinkie finger when reaching for a chip and practically choked on my own tongue trying to swallow a gallon of water after I had I licked it off and my mouth burst into flames.

  “There’s not much to it,” I responded.

  Liberty Bell rolled her eyes because she had heard that response before. Melonie was persistent though, and her deep blue eyes sparked with the excitement of a challenge. “Ooooh, a guarded one, are we? We’ll see about that,” she laughed, whipping her head back to pop two more green jalapenos between her big but beautiful teeth. She held one on her tongue for a few seconds before chomping down on it and swallowing. She l
ooked back to me, staring at me with her eyes in tiny slits, her long, fire engine red bangs that brushed her eyebrows flinching every time she blinked. “Where were you born?”

  “L.A.” I answered.

  “Where did you grow up?”

  “L.A.”

  “Where did you go to school?”

  “L.A.”

  She began to lose a little of her resolve. “Where… did you meet Dillard?”

  “L.A.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “How long have you two been dating?”

  I choked on my spit but it may as well have been more jalapeno juice with the spectacle I made of it. “We’re not dating,” I managed between coughing fits. “Where did you even get that idea?”

  She raised an eyebrow again, but this time less as a challenge and more as a question. “Well, he came all the way from L.A. to see you. I just figured.”

  “You figured wrong,” I said, having finally caught my breath. I took a long drink of water from my cup and pressed my hand to my cheek. “So wrong.”

  She gave me another eyebrow raise and I began to wonder if she was doing it voluntarily. “Does he know that?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  Liberty Bell chimed in. “Well, it’s kind of obvious he likes you Heaven.”

  “He just met me, he doesn’t know anything about me.”

  “Like that makes a difference to a guy,” Melonie smirked.

  “Yeah, Heaven. I mean, he just met you, but he followed you like thirteen hundred miles just to see you. I mean, you said he knew your name before you even knew his, didn’t you?” Liberty Bell said.

  “What?” Melonie looked intrigued. “Tell me more about this.”

  I shot Liberty Bell a look and regretted telling her how Dillard and I officially met.