Raining On Heaven

by Amanda Foote

  “And no clothing with crude or inappropriate logos.”

  “Got it,” I said.

  She turned back around. “Your only real duties at this point are data entry, restacking books, and checking books out. You may be approached with a question here or there from customers but if you can’t handle it, just bring the question to me or Patrice.” She showed me where all the separate sections of the library were and explained what each room in the building was for, after which we returned to the front desk. “My seat is over there.” She pointed a bright pink painted fingernail toward an oval desk area in the middle of the large room. “So generally customers will come to me with questions. But sometimes they’ll go straight to the front desk, so you need to be prepared.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” she said as she flitted away toward her own desk.

  I sat down at a chair in front of a computer. Joann had told me that I was allowed to sit and read or do whatever I wanted really, so long as it was quiet and it didn’t interrupt or distract me from my duties. As she hadn’t given me anything to do yet, I pulled out the book I had picked off the shelf earlier. Not twenty minutes into my sitting time, a woman with ebony skin approached the counter with a young girl of about eight in tow.

  “Hi there,” she said with a wide smile on her face.

  I glanced at Joann who was helping another customer before saying, “Hello, welcome to the library. What can I do for you?”

  She pulled her daughter forward. “This is my daughter, Shanelle. She’s nine. She’s really started getting into the book-reading thing but her friends keep recommending these awful books about sex and stalkerish love interests and just, I don’t know. Well I want to find some books that would be appropriate for her age, but that also send a great message. What can you recommend?”

  “You came to exactly the right person,” I smiled. “Follow me.” I led her to the children’s section and pulled out a few books. “My number one recommendation would probably be the Harry Potter series. They’re filled with important themes like family, friendship, and courage under pressure. Over the years they have amassed a huge following of fans. It focuses on three young friends, a witch and two wizards, who face evil villains, while balancing school and trying to maintain a healthy friendship.”

  “Interesting,” she said. “Hand me the first one.”

  I did, then I led her further down the aisle. I pulled out Matilda by Roald Dahl. Then I pulled out A Bridge to Terabithia and added it to her stack. I kept trailing down the aisle, pulling out books and handing them to her, explaining why they were important. By the time we had finished, she had at least ten books in her arms.

  She laughed. “Thanks,” she said. “You’ve been a big help.”

  I smiled. “I can check you out at the front, if you like.”

  “Sure,” she agreed. “That’d be great!”

  After she left, Joann approached me. She smirked. “I think you’ll do just fine here,” she said.

  When I walked in the front door at home after work, I was surprised to find Cadence sitting at the island. I had just opened my mouth to ask her what she was doing out of bed when I noticed the man in a pressed suit sitting next to her. He had a dark leather briefcase open in front of him and a short stack of papers was sitting neatly between the two of them. Cadence had a ball point pen posed between her fingers. She kept flicking it back and forth in a circle, bringing it down every now and then to make a short mark on the paper, then returning it to its original position.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  She glanced up and smiled sheepishly. “Hey, Heaven. This is Mr. Everett. He’s my lawyer. Mr. Everett, this is Heaven.”

  “Hello, Heaven. And Cadence, for the hundredth time, please call me Will.”

  She smiled back at him, almost flirtatiously, it seemed. “Maybe next time,” she said.

  I gave her a bewildered look and set my stuff down, moving toward them. “Why is he here, Cadence? Where’s Bliss?”

  “We are updating my will,” Cadence said matter-of-factly. “Bobby is babysitting Bliss for me. Mr. Everett, would you mind giving Heaven and I a minute alone?”

  He nodded sweetly. “Not a bit, Cadence. I’ll be outside on the porch.” As he stood I noticed how truly young he looked. Surely he was not even thirty yet. He had light brown hair and dark brown eyes, with just the slightest shadow of stubble dusting the surface of his chin and upper lip. He tipped his head to me as he passed me and went outside, leaving his briefcase open on the island. I took his seat.

  “Have you thought about it, Heaven?”

  I considered saying to her, Thought about what? to stall for time, but decided against it. I knew what she meant. She meant had I thought about taking on full responsibility of her one-year-old daughter when I was not even a grown woman myself yet? The truth was, I hadn’t thought about it. I didn’t want to. Not because I didn’t love Bliss. I think, even having only known her for a few short weeks, I had already fallen madly in love with that tiny baby girl. I didn’t care that Cadence didn’t know who her father was, and I didn’t care that she was like any other baby that pooped, vomited, and peed on everything, or that cried at the drop of a hat. Bliss was my favorite person in the whole world and nothing would change that. But I don’t think that meant I could take care of her. I could barely take care of myself.

  So I lied. “Yes, I’ve thought about it. I love Bliss more than anything. But I don’t think I can be her guardian. I think it should be Marlene.”

  Cadence nodded solemnly, and looked at me as if she had read my mind right on my face. “Okay,” she said. “I understand. You’re still young.” She placed her hand over mine. “I won’t hold this against you, Heaven.”

  She had me usher the young Mr. Everett back in and we all talked it out for a few minutes. He noted the change of guardianship from Cadence to Marlene and also that Cadence wanted to leave all of the money from our parents to Bliss, under Marlene’s supervision until Bliss turned eighteen. After this, Mr. Everett rose from his chair and shook my and Cadence’s hands, gathered his things and left a quick kiss on Cadence’s pale cheek. Then he left.

  My eyes were wide and so were hers. “Friendliest lawyer I’ve ever met,” I said, and she laughed.

  “Got that right,” she said. She sighed. “I think I need a drink. What about you?” she said.

  I shrugged. “Can I share with you?” She nodded, and I got up and took one of Marlene’s wine glasses from the cupboard, filling it up from a bottle of Barefoot Moscato in the fridge. I finished off the bottle so I rinsed it out and added it to the large collection of Marlene’s empty wine bottles in the pantry. I handed Cadence her glass after taking a small sip of it.

  She looked paler than usual, but maybe it was the dim overhead lighting above the island. “Do you want to go back to your room?” I asked her.

  She smiled. “I’m alright for now, Heaven. But I’d love if you’d sit with me awhile.”

  I smiled too. “Sure, that would be nice.”

  She sighed again and took a long sip of her wine. She stared down at her fingernails for some time and clicked the promotional pen that Mr. Everett had left with her. It was black with white capital letters that said Johnson & Everett. She suddenly gave me a sweet smile and set the pen and her glass down. “Have I told you yet how I first found out about your parents?” I shook my head and she continued, running her finger around the rim of her glass and grinning. “Well, my parents gave me the quintessential talk about being adopted and all that, which I had always wondered, you know. But it wasn’t confirmed for me until your mom wrote me this beautiful letter. I still have it. I can even remember most of it, I’ve read it so many times.” She raised an eyebrow. “It seems knowing how to use words beautifully runs in your blood.” She glanced down again, murmuring, “Maybe it’s in my blood too.” She looked up at me.

  “‘Have you ever loved someone you’ve never met? That’s how I
feel about you, Cadence. I carried you for nine months and you were the closest thing I’ve ever felt to Heaven, carrying you was like carrying the weight of God’s love in my womb. Giving you up was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. It felt like my very heart was being ripped from its cage, bleeding and still beating softly and I was fading out with it. You must feel confused and lonely and betrayed and unloved, but don’t be. Please Cadence, don’t be. I may have never met you but I have loved you with every fiber of my being since the moment I knew you existed, and if I had been able, I’d have held you in my arms for each day of the rest of my life. But sometimes life is the very thing that gets in the way of us living the lives we want to.’” A silent tear rolled down Cadence’s cheek. “‘Giving you up is my greatest regret Cadence. A thousand years could pass and I would never be able to forgive myself for what I’ve done. Maybe someday, though, you can.’” She wiped a tear from her chin. “That’s only part of it, but it’s what sticks to me the most,” she said. “Then she said, ‘You have a beautiful little sister, whom we have named Heaven. She shines as bright as the sun and her hazel eyes are like looking into the grassy fields of God’s paradise. I hope someday you can meet her and know that you have a sister, and a mother, and a father, and a family waiting here for you to come home. Maybe this will never reach you, but we love you just the same and will never stop wondering if you were meant to be with us.’”

  I took another drink of her wine and tried to process what she had recited. I thought she was done but Cadence started to really cry as she said, “I never got to meet her. I met your dad, but I never met her. And now I never can and that is just truly unfair.”

  She dipped her head and cried for a moment. I rested my hand on hers and just let her cry. When her tears started to recede, I said, “Cadence, I never felt more glad to be your sister than I did just now, hearing you talk about our mom, holding your hand, and letting you cry.”

  She smiled through her tears. “I’m so happy to hear you say that, Heaven. I have wanted to be your sister since the moment I knew about you. I was afraid you would never feel the same way about me.”

  I hugged her. “I came around.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, you did. I guess we all do at some point.” I smiled, and she smiled, and then we both jumped when there was a knock at the door. I answered it to find Bobby, Liberty Bell, and Dillard at the door with a sleeping Bliss in LB’s arms. I smirked. “Been hanging out without me again, huh?” I laughed, and let them in.

  “You two seem like you’re in a good mood,” Dillard said, taking my seat next to Cadence. He picked up the now empty wine glass. “Ah, okay. Got it!” he laughed. Liberty Bell carried Bliss to her bed in the den and returned to join us at the island. She took the seat opposite Cadence and I sat down across from Dillard, while Bobby stood up at the end.

  We heard some rustling from the stairs and Marlene descended them, clad in her pajamas with her long brown hair down and slightly damp, curling gently after her shower. “Hey,” she said. “I heard voices. I got curious.”

  She poured herself a glass of wine and joined us, standing at the other end of the island from Bobby.

  “What have you been working on so diligently up there, Marlene?” Cadence asked.

  Marlene smirked. “I’m not totally sure yet, but I think I like where it’s going.”

  “Which is where…?” Liberty Bell asked.

  “Places,” Marlene laughed.

  I smiled. It felt right, sitting here with my favorite people. I wished this moment would never end, and that the people sitting next to me would never change or leave. But deep down inside I knew they would, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. And that made me feel more helpless than anything else ever had.

  ✽✽✽

  I was finishing up the last few pages of my book while at work when a familiar voice broke me out of the spell I was under. I glanced up, confused. Dillard was standing in front of me, clad in jeans, sandals, and an oversized black T-shirt, saying, “Heaven. Earth to Heaven. Hello down there!”

  “Hi,” I responded.

  He laughed. “Got lost in there, eh?” he said, then smirked.

  I smiled. “Yeah. Occupational hazard.”

  He grinned, then glanced around. “So this is where you work now, huh? Interesting. Can you show me around?” I shot a look to Joann who was at her own desk, staring at her computer screen.

  “Yeah, I could probably do that,” I said, and stood up. “What do you want to see?”

  “Hmmm. I guess… show me your favorite section of the library,” he smiled.

  “Okay.” I led him to the Young Adult Fantasy section.

  “I see,” he said. “She loves mythical worlds and all that. Good to know,” he murmured as he playfully rubbed his chin and pretended to look pensive. “So why is this your favorite section?”

  “Well, I do love fantasy books, but that’s not why this is my favorite section of the library.”

  He looked intrigued. “Oh, tell me more.”

  I motioned him over a few feet until he could see just past one of the shelves to a small table with some plush chairs around it. One little girl with jet black hair, dark skin, and striking green eyes was sunk into the blue faux leather of a chair. She couldn’t have been more than eleven but she had a rather large book propped up on her dark legs. A notebook was pulled open on the table next to her and a green gel pen rested on top of it with the cap off. She was mouthing the words in her book quietly as she read them. I smiled and said to Dillard, “That’s Annabeth. She comes in nearly every day wanting a new book. She particularly likes non-fiction but will take most any suggestion.”

  “Okay,” Dillard smirked, amused but not quite understanding my excitement.

  I looked at him and he looked at me. “She doesn’t read the whole book. She starts in the middle and reads from there. Sometimes she doesn’t even read the ending. And the whole while, she takes notes on what she reads. Names, places, plot twists, character descriptions. Everything. I finally asked her yesterday if it was for a school project. She said no, it’s for research. I said, ‘Research for what?’ And guess what she said.”

  He smiled the biggest grin I had seen on him yet. It made the scar on his forehead stand out but it added a charm to his face that was undeniable. “What?” he asked.

  I paused for effect. “‘Research for my future,’ she said. ‘Research for my future!’ I was so stunned I couldn’t even think of anything else to ask her.” We glanced back over to her, and Annabeth had moved her attention from her book to the notepad, where she was jotting something down with the bright green gel pen. “What do you think she meant?” I asked him.

  He shrugged. “Maybe she wants to be a writer when she grows up. She’s getting inspiration.”

  I looked at him, bewildered. “That’s perfect.” I glanced at her again. “That is probably exactly what she’s doing. How did you catch that and I totally missed it?”

  He laughed. “I’ve just gotten really good at guessing what literature-obsessed women are up to.”

  Before I could ask him what he meant, Joann walked up beside us. “Heaven,” she greeted me, quite coolly. She turned to Dillard, displaying a dashing, toothy grin that starkly clashed with her ashy brown skin. “Has she helped you with your question, sir?”

  He gave her a charming smile and said, “Yes ma’am. She’s given me exactly what I wanted. I’ll get out of your hair now.” Joann turned to leave and Dillard gave my hand a quick squeeze. “I’ll see you soon,” he said, and strode out with heavy footfalls that I could probably hear in a crowded room. He whipped back around at the entrance as I returned to my post, giving me a quick wave and a devilish grin.

  ✽✽✽

  “Did you pack a lighter?”

  “Yes.”

  “A flashlight?”

  “Yes.”

  “A pocket knife?”

  “Uh…”

  “Plenty of water?”

 
; “Yes.”

  “Diapers?! Did you pack diapers?!”

  I laughed. “Cadence, yes! Calm down! We have packed everything we are going to need.” Cadence was having a “conniption fit,” as Liberty Bell called it, because we were going camping for my 18th birthday celebration and taking Bliss with us, and she was nervous out of her mind. “I packed the diaper bag, with extra diapers and wipes, and her sippy cup, and several changes of clothes, her bathing suit, everything!”

  She bit her fingernail, chewed on it for a second, then spit it out.

  Liberty Bell came in from the car to find us in the kitchen like this, and she came over to Cadence. “Cadence,” she said, resting her hand on Cadence’s shaking arm. “I would trust Heaven with my life. Wouldn’t you?” Cadence nodded carefully. “So do you think you can trust her with Bliss’s life?”

  Cadence put her head down in her arms with a sigh of defeat. “Yes, I suppose.”

  Bliss giggled from her high chair at the end of the island. Cadence lifted her head at the sound and smiled at her baby girl. “Hey baby,” she said in a sing-songy voice. “Don’t you want to go camping with Aunt Heaven and her friends?”

  Bliss giggled again and shouted “No!” smiling all the while.

  Cadence looked at us with wide eyes. “You heard her,” she said.

  “Cadence,” I reprimanded her with a deep voice, “don’t be silly.”

  She pouted. “I’m just worried, is all.”

  Marlene, who had been sitting at the table witnessing this event, piped up. “I think you’re more worried that you’re going to miss her than you are about her well-being.”