No More Secrets

by Cate Beauman

  She pressed her palms to her chest, finding it hard to breathe. Was this what it felt like to suffocate? The overwhelm built quickly—residual from yesterday and her life as of late: the constant worries about Kaitlyn, the idea of Cade not being there, realizing how desperately she loved him. “It’s been such a short amount of time—”

  “Which only seems to be a problem for you.”

  She looked at the papers again. “This is hundreds of millions of dollars.”

  He nodded again. “If I’m not here, I need to know that you and Kaitlyn are living an amazing life.”

  She shook her head, remembering all too clearly how helpless she’d felt—how her world would have ended if he had. “Stop talking like that!”

  “Gwen—”

  She exhaled a shuddering breath as fear joined her sense of overwhelm. It wasn’t until just now that she realized how dependent she’d become on Cade—financially and emotionally. When had she stopped relying on herself? She was completely losing control of her life again. “We never decided on terms—on me paying you back for the nanny and the attorneys.”

  He frowned. “You don’t have to pay me back.”

  “Yes, I do.” She set the papers on the couch, as afraid today as she had been yesterday, but for entirely different reasons. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I’m not signing this. I need some space.”

  He blinked, clearly surprised, as he moved to close the distance between them again. “Gwen—”

  “No.” She held up her hands, warning him not to touch her. “I need you to go. I need you to give me a couple of days.”

  He stared at her in shock. “You want me to go to the compound?”

  She nodded as Molly stepped into the room, carrying Kaitlyn. “I do.” She hurried for the door, grabbing her sleepy daughter from her sister’s arms, then left for upstairs, ignoring Cade as he called her name.

  Chapter 27

  Gwen walked around Mom and Mini’s warehouse, using purple painter’s tape to mark the furnishings, rugs, and other accents she planned to use for the William’s Pass project. She made notes on her tidy sheet as she found just what she wanted to transform each room. Luckily, the storm had left a little yard debris but no significant damage on her client’s property, so the house would go on the market as planned, which left her less than thirty-six hours to work her magic.

  She was used to the chaos and time crunches of a staging. After the roller-coaster ride of the last couple of days, she welcomed it. Currently, there was little time to think about anything but her job. Today, old furnishings were being packed up and moved out of the William’s Pass address so the painters could get in and neutralize colors in several of the spaces. Tomorrow, her team of movers would pick up everything here and transfer it to the house. She would quickly and efficiently set everything to rights so Mini’s photographer could take her pictures for the website.

  Stepping down the next aisle, she stopped, narrowing her eyes, scrutinizing two massive paintings, struggling to decide which would make a better statement piece in the living room. “Which one of you wants to be my showstopper?” she whispered, reaching for her phone as it alerted to a text.

  Just finished up. Painters are already setting up.

  Thanks, Greg! she replied to the head mover she often worked with. I don’t know what I would do without you guys. See you tomorrow at the warehouse. Eight sharp. Grab lunch on me at Molly’s. She knows you’re coming.

  She’d learned long ago that happy movers kept things on schedule. Great food and a fat tip at the end of each project worked well for everyone involved. Her phone dinged again.

  See you tomorrow. And thanks for lunch. We appreciate it.

  No worries, she typed back, then blinked when she realized that wasn’t something she ever said.

  That was Cade’s saying.

  Shaking her head, shoving her phone into the back pocket of her trim black slacks, she focused on her job because she didn’t want to remember how much she’d missed not falling asleep in Cade’s arms last night—or how much of a nervous wreck she’d been because he was scheduled to be in and out of the air today.

  Sighing, she put tape on the edge of the more vivid piece of wall art, deciding that would be the one for the living room.

  She moved on to options for the kids’ rooms—one for an older child and the other for a younger—making her selections from several possibilities. She ripped more tape, sticking it on gender-neutral pieces before she turned, gasping when Cade stood in front of her. “Damn it. You scared me.”

  He smiled. “Sorry.”

  She pressed a hand to her hammering heart, well aware that she wasn’t unsteady only because he’d frightened her. He was gorgeous, dressed in one of his typical slacks and golf shirt combinations. And he’d made it back to the island safely. “Did you tiptoe or something?”

  His smile bloomed into a grin. “Nah. Tiptoeing’s not really my thing. I think you were just lost in your thoughts.”

  She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, struggling to stay relaxed as tension squeezed at her neck and shoulders.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I saw the Audi out front. I wanted to catch you before you could leave. Do you have a few minutes? Can we talk?”

  Sighing, she set down the roll of tape. She’d asked him for a couple of days—and he’d barely given her one. But they were going to have to get this over with eventually. “All right.” She moved to one of the couches in the next aisle, taking a seat.

  “I missed you last night,” he said, sitting next to her, capturing her hand. “Kaitlyn, too.”

  She studied his big hand swallowing hers—the way his thumb slid over her knuckles. “We missed you, too. How was your flight this morning?”

  “Fine. No problems.”

  “Good. And you were okay? Not too nervous?”

  Because she was still a mess, knowing he would go up over and over again.

  “The other day was a fluke.” He gave her fingers a squeeze. “Most pilots go their entire careers without catastrophic failure.”

  She imagined that this was supposed to make her feel better. But it didn’t.

  “I want to apologize for yesterday,” he continued. “About springing all of that on you without talking to you first. I was a little rattled after the complications on the flight, and I handled things poorly.”

  She swallowed, meeting his gaze before she looked down. “It’s a lot. Too much.”

  “I can see how you might think that, but I’d like you to sign the paperwork, anyway.”

  Shaking her head, she pulled her hand free from his. “I can’t, Cade. I love you, but yesterday helped me realize that we’re moving way too fast.”

  His brow furrowed. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I need us to slow things down.” She cleared her throat. “Last night, I spoke to Nate and Callie. They’re going to help me with the attorney’s fees and the nanny. If you’ll get me a total of the accumulated costs incurred, I’d like to get your money back to you as soon as I can. I’ll need to spread out the payments a little—”

  He shook his head. “That’s not necessary—”

  “Yes, it is. It’s necessary to me. This is the way I want it.”

  He scratched at his jaw in one of his agitated gestures. “Is all of this really about me wanting to make you and Kaitlyn my beneficiaries?”

  “Yes. And no.” She huffed out a breath because she needed to make him understand. “I’ve made such a huge mess of my life. I’m working hard to clean it up—to show myself that I can. I need to know that I can take care of myself and my daughter—that I can make everything right again.”

  “And I admire that.” He captured her hand again, pressing her knuckles to his lips. “I admire your strength, Gwen, but aren’t we partners?”

  She finally knew what it meant to have someone stand with her, but their current situation couldn’t be their foundation. “Everything feels so out of co
ntrol, Cade. You’re not loaning me fifty bucks or a stopgap because I blew out a tire, and I haven’t gotten paid yet. Legal fees and a nanny are going to add up to thousands and thousands of dollars. I can’t ask that of you.”

  “You didn’t ask, Gwen.”

  “If I let you do this, it amounts to the same thing. That’s a huge strain on a new relationship.”

  He exhaled a frustrated breath as he looked to the ceiling. “I don’t know how to sit back and not do what I can. I love you. You help the people you love.”

  She shook her head. “Everything’s so complicated. Too complicated. I’m trying to rebuild my life. I have a daughter to raise. Now there are attorneys, a nanny, court dates, and a new relationship in the mix. I need some time to figure all this out.”

  He frowned. “Are you dumping me?”

  She shrugged as tears filled her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing—and that’s part of the problem. I know I love you. I love you in a way that I’ve never loved anyone, but I can’t breathe. I want to take a couple of steps back.”

  “You and I were fine until I handed you those papers yesterday. We were even better before all of this shit started with Liam.”

  “Yesterday was a wake-up call. I realized how much I’ve lost control of everything.” Her tears started falling. “All of this stuff with Liam… I need to take care of Kaitlyn right now. I need to make things okay for her before I can worry about anything else.”

  Clenching his jaw, he nodded. “I remember the first night you and I had dinner. You told me I didn’t scare you much, but that’s been bullshit all along. You have a lot going on. That’s one hundred percent true, but I think all of this boils down to you being afraid. You don’t know what to do with a partner who’s all in.”

  He was right. She was terrified. Her life felt like it was going off the rails. She’d taken one blow after another. Financial worries. Liam and the courts. Cade’s near-plane crash. Realizing she needed the man sitting next to her—understanding that she couldn’t breathe with the thought of losing him. She wanted some semblance of control back. “Give me some time. Let me recalibrate.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  She nodded, even when she had no idea what she wanted. “That’s what I need.”

  “Sure thing.”

  Then he got up and walked away.

  A warm breeze blew in off the water while Cade sat at one of McGuiness’ outdoor tables, tossing up a quick wave when Brad and Nate headed his way. It had been weeks since their last beer—when they’d stood outside Brad and Molly’s half-built home. When Nate had texted him an invitation a couple of hours ago, he’d jumped at the chance to sit in the sun and hang out with the boys. “Here they are. I ordered you Yanks your Sam Adams.”

  “The best damn beer there is,” Nate said as he sat down.

  “Thanks, man.” Brad picked up his bottle, immediately pulling a sip as he took his seat. Nodding, he drank again, swallowing. “Yup. The best damn beer there is.”

  Grinning, Cade picked up his own bottle, mostly giving his friends shit. “I need to get you boys a Carlton. Now, that’s some great Australian beer.”

  Nate enjoyed a sip of his own. “You find a way to send some across the pond, and we’ll see what we see.”

  Cade gave them a decisive nod. “Consider it done.”

  Brad sighed as he sat back, locking his hands behind his head. “Christ, that was a long one. Kids and stitches. I’ll take a massive trauma over that shit any day of the week.”

  Nate winced. “That was a lot of blood and a hell of a lot of screaming when I arrived on scene. They were young.”

  Brad nodded. “Seven. Twin boys. And dozens of stitches later. They collided in the water,” Brad said, filling Cade in. “Add a couple of surfboards to the mix, and it made for a damn mess—nasty contusions, split lips, missing teeth. One of them had a solid fin chop to the back of the head.” He guided his fingers along the back of his skull, demonstrating. “The screaming didn’t stop for a while—not until I finally convinced them that I could solve all of their problems and got them numbed up. It sucks that they’ll be cutting their vacation short. They just got here on the first ferry over.”

  “That does suck.” Nate drank again. “Although, I’m looking forward to everyone cutting their vacations short.”

  Brad nodded. “Just a couple more weeks, and we can put a cap on another high season. Then it’s time for weddings and babies.”

  “Fuck, yeah.” Nate held up his bottle to tap against both of theirs. “So, how about you?” he said to Cade. “How was your day? Any issues in the air?”

  “Nah.” He’d had a couple of bad moments while he did his preflight check this morning, but getting back into the game was the key to moving beyond the fear. “I just had to get back up there.”

  Nate nodded. “Have you had a chance to talk to Gwen?”

  Cade clenched his jaw as he steamed out a breath through his nose. “Earlier this afternoon. She wants some space.”

  “Are you going to give it to her?”

  He jerked his shoulders. “I don’t think I get much of a say in the matter.”

  “I don’t envy you, man,” Brad added to the conversation. “The Carter ladies are a dicey mix. Sweet and sassy. They’re no pushovers. Sometimes you have to maneuver a little.”

  Cade raised his brow. “And how the hell do I do that?”

  Brad shrugged. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

  Cade laughed. “Thanks for nothing.”

  Brad chuckled. “I’ve known Molls her entire life. I’ve been in love with her for half of mine, and she still surprises me.”

  Cade smiled, liking the idea of being surprised by Gwen even years later. “I guess that’s not such a bad thing.”

  Brad shook his head. “No, it’s not. Unless I piss her off.”

  Cade scrubbed his hands over his face with his frustration. “That’s the thing. I didn’t piss Gwen off. I scared her.”

  Nate nodded. “I’d say that’s about right. Typically, I mind my own business, but I can’t when it comes to my sisters.”

  Cade sighed. “I get it.”

  “We know what you tried to do for her with the will—”

  “Fuck that. I did it. Gwen’s my beneficiary, and Kaitlyn has a trust that Liam can’t touch. Ever. If something happens to me, they’re taken care of—whether Gwen likes it or not.” He rubbed at the tension in his neck next. “If I’d have known this was going to be such a problem, I never would have told her about it, even though I still want her to sign the damn power of attorney.”

  Nate drank more of his beer. “I don’t know that this is about the money—or that’s not all of it. Gwen likes to be in control, and she has a lot rattling her cage right now. Your relationship is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. You make her happy, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t used to a man who’ll let her walk.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Nate nodded. “The day you had issues with the plane messed with her pretty good, too. I imagine it still is—realizing what she might’ve lost. I’ve never seen her that afraid before. Then she has all the shit going on with Liam.”

  “Cocksucker,” Cade muttered.

  Nate nodded a second time. “He’s toying with her again. She just heard from her attorney a couple of hours ago. The bastard’s decided he wants Kaitlyn every other week.”

  Cade moved to take a drink but set his bottle down with a snap. “What?”

  “They’ve assured her he won’t get it because Kaitlyn’s so young and Gwen’s still nursing, but he’s certainly flexing his muscles.”

  Cade ground his teeth, hating that this was undoubtedly upsetting Gwen—and that she wouldn’t let him be there to help her through the worst of it. He’d be damned if this was going to continue because the majority of their issues began the night Liam O’Leary stepped onto the island and screwed up their dance at Music in the Park. Gaining his feet, he pulled
a fifty from his wallet, tossing it on the table.

  “What are you doing?” Nate asked.

  “Taking care of a problem.” Because enough was enough. “I have some phone calls to make.”

  “Cade—”

  “Later.” He walked off toward the Wrangler, ready to put into action the plan he’d been toying with for days.

  Gwen pushed Kaitlyn in the baby swing at the park, catching the solid plastic on the upswing to blow raspberries on the soles of her daughter’s feet the way Cade always did.

  Kaitlyn screeched her delight.

  “You’re having so much fun!” Gwen let the swing go again, hoping that Kaitlyn didn’t notice Cade’s absence, especially when he would have been right by their sides if she hadn’t told him she wanted space.

  Kaitlyn wiggled her toes, babbling her da-da-ba-bas.

  “Oh, you want to do that again, do you?” She repeated the process, loving the sound of her little girl’s laughter.

  She glanced over her shoulder, doing a double take, smiling when she spotted Nate heading their way. He was dressed down in athletic shorts and a T-shirt. “Look at you, Sheriff. A night off.”

  Nate stopped next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulders in a hug as he made a goofy face at Kaitlyn. “That happens every once in a while.”

  She returned his embrace, hooking her arm around his waist. “What are you doing downtown? You’re usually hanging out with Callie.”

  “I’m heading home soon. I saw your Audi parked on Main Street. I just had a beer with Brad and Cade over at McGuiness’.”

  “Oh.” She shrugged him away, giving her attention back to Kaitlyn, already knowing where this was going.

  “What are you doing, Gwen?”

  She swallowed, shaking her head. “Leave it alone.”

  “I’m not going to leave it alone. Not when I see you making a big mistake.”

  Already perilously close to tears after an awful day, she stopped the swing, pulling Kaitlyn from the seat. “We’re going to head home.”