Unitary

by Lexy Timms

  For months.

  For my entire life, even before I knew her.

  I feel her pussy throbbing around me. I feel her ready to spray me again. To mark the rest of my body as her territory for when she needs me. And I open myself to her. Give myself over to her freely and without abandon. My hips begin to stutter as my cock dips within her, and soon her pussy is clamping down on me with a vice grip that leaves me breathless.

  I squeeze down onto her hands as her pussy milks me for all I have. Hot threads of cum fill her caverns as I kiss down her neck. Lick at her skin. Shake against her body. She’s trembling. Her pussy is spraying me with a scent that will fill my nostrils for weeks to come. It’s the most perfect scent on the planet, and I lose myself in it.

  I nuzzle my nose against her neck before I lick at her carotid. Stroking her pulse until it begins to settle and her body finally releases me.

  I’m at her mercy, and I’ll stay that way until the day I die.

  Her hands finally release me, and I’m able to slide from between her legs. I collapse on top of her, and I can feel her hands running up and down my back. Still unable to stop rubbing me. I lift my head up long enough to capture her lips. To give her one last taste of what the two of us do on the tip of her tongue.

  I feel her smile into me, and the sensation fills my body with light.

  I slide off to the side as her fluids trickle down my skin. She looks at the mess she made, and her eyes widen, but I crook my finger underneath her chin. I raise her beautiful gaze up to mine and plant a small kiss on her nose, watching as she moves her body closer to mine.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” I say. “That’s natural when Cats mate.”

  Her head nuzzles underneath my chin again, and I slide my arm around her. Pulling her naked body closer to mine as she reaches down for the covers. I close my eyes and take in the moment. I allow myself to commit everything to memory. Because I don’t know if it will ever happen again, and I don’t know if she will ever choose me again.

  “Toshi?”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you think I’m a whore?”

  My eyes shoot down to her, and I can see her staring blankly at the wall.

  “Never could I think something like that of you,” I say.

  “But I’ve—”

  I know what she’s going to say, and I tilt her gaze to mine again.

  “They are your choices. The biological urges that you’re acting on. No can ever fault you for that, Clarissa.”

  “It’s not that,” she says.

  “Then what is it?” I ask.

  “I just—”

  I wait for her to gather her thoughts as her head falls to the pillow. I lie down next to her, my hand smoothing her hair away from her face. She looks so conflicted, and I almost feel guilty for giving into her emotional urges. But I’ve wanted her from the shadows for so long, and it feels so right to be with her at this moment.

  Something like that could never be a wrong decision.

  “I want all of you,” Clarissa says.

  I nod as I try to pick apart that statement.

  “Define ‘want.’”

  “I mean, I don’t want to pick one of you. I want to have all of you around me. With me. Living life with me and—”

  I watch her struggle again, and I give her the silence she needs to piece things together.

  “I don’t know. I’m babbling.”

  “It’s fine. You can do that with me,” I say.

  “And it’s why I love you.”

  My ears perk up as my brow furrows deeper.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I love you, Toshi. I have. For a long time. But I also love Kyle.”

  “You married him. I understand that,” I say.

  “And Sebastian. And Theo. I love them, too. In my own way, but it’s there. It’s strong. And I don’t know how to process any of it or what I should do. I know I sound like a lunatic.”

  “You don’t sound like anything but a woman trying to sort out her emotions,” I say.

  “I want all of you, in my own way. You all fill a part of me that is empty when you guys aren’t around.”

  “Have you talked with anyone else about this?”

  “No. I’m too scared. Sebastian’s so possessive, and Theo’s so calm. I’m scared Theo will go along with it just to make me happy without any regard to what will make him happy. And I’m scared Sebastian will slaughter all of you just to prove a point.”

  There’s movement underneath the door that catches my eye. Clarissa closes her eyes, and I train my ears quickly onto what’s happening beyond the door.

  And I can hear the guys.

  “Did she say all of us?” Sebastian asks.

  “She loves all of us?” Theo asks.

  “Wants. She said wants,” Sebastian says.

  “I think she said wants and loves,” Vlad says.

  “She didn’t mention you,” Sebastian says.

  “What?” Vlad asks.

  “What did she say about me?” Theo asks.

  They’re listening, and it makes me wonder what they think about all of this. Part of me is angry at them for eavesdropping, but part of me is relieved. This will give them time to process everything Clarissa is struggling with before she has a chance to talk with them about it.

  “What do you think?” she asks.

  “About what?”

  “About what I’ve said?”

  “Do you want me to be personal or logical?”

  “Why do I have to choose? That’s what I like about you. I never have to choose between the two.”

  I smile and cup her cheek as I run my thumb over her skin.

  “Logically, it’s technically what you’ve been bred for. Not that your sole purpose is to fall in love and have children, but in a way, it is ingrained into you. It only makes sense that if you are biologically programmed to mate with all Primal species that you should be able to fall in love with all of them.”

  “But at once?” she asks.

  “Why not? People and Primals alike love many people at the same time. Their mothers. Their fathers. Siblings. Friends. All of that is love, but it’s all different love.”

  “I don’t love you guys like parents or brothers, Toshi.”

  “I’m not saying you do. I’m simply challenging the box humans usually put themselves in. Love is what it is. And if you fall in love with someone, that doesn’t mean you’re incapable of not loving anyone else ever. If that were the case, parents wouldn’t be loved after their children married. If that were the case, only one parent could be loved by a child at a time. But that isn’t what happens.”

  “So you don’t think I’m crazy?” she asks.

  “No. I think you’re finally allowing yourself to fully explore a side of you that has always existed but has been dormant. And whatever you choose, all I hope is that you’ll keep me along for the ride.”

  “You would be okay with that? With me loving someone other than you?”

  “Yes. I love you, Clarissa. I want you safe. I want you happy. I want you healthy. I want you in my life, no matter the capacity. And if this is what gets me you, then I’m fine with it.”

  The smile that crosses her face warms my chest.

  “But I do urge you to talk to the other guys about it. Especially Sebastian. He’s making a lot of noise about being exclusive, and I can see how it’s wearing on you.”

  “I will,” she says. “I promise. But right now? I want to sleep.”

  “Do you want me to leave you alone to sleep?”

  “No,” she says. “I want you to stay.”

  So that’s what I did.

  Chapter 20

  Theo

  The conversation we all overheard Clarissa having with Toshi is still on my mind. Sebastian is furious, and Vlad looks something akin to hurt, but I don’t have time to decipher it. I’ve gotten word from the villager that took Kyle in that he’s settled, nourished, and no longer dehydrated. I know I’m
the only one that can handle him physically, so I slip from the tense confines of the cottage and make my way to the back of the village.

  I find Kyle sitting on the porch tearing into a bloodied animal carcass.

  “Feeling better?” I ask.

  His eyes whip up to me, and I hold my hands up.

  “I come in peace.”

  “Just don’t take my scent back,” Kyle growls.

  “I want to talk with you about your conversation with Lord Wesley,” I say.

  “What about it?”

  “Everything you say confirms what we’ve been working off of for the past couple of weeks except for the mentioning of a dispersal method. What were you talking about?”

  Kyle takes another hunk of meat off the bone and begins to chew.

  “Lord Wesley told me that one side wants to use Clarissa as a weapon of destruction before killing her and one of them wants to use her as a dispersal method. That was all he said.”

  “And you didn’t think to clarify?”

  “I was a little busy running for my life,” he grumbles.

  “What about you?” I ask.

  “What about me?”

  “Do you know how badly they’ve changed you?”

  “No clue.”

  “Why don’t you stop eating then and rattle off to me the things you can do?”

  “Look, I get mauled to death by Primals who I can’t take revenge on because apparently they’ve already been killed. I’m somehow brought back to life with scarred patches of skin adhered to me like a patchwork quilt. My wife can’t stand the presence of me because she is physically sickened by me, and you want to get angry at me for being pissed?”

  “Pheromones,” I say.

  “What?” he growls.

  “That’s why. Primal pheromones are chemical compositions—”

  “I know what pheromones are.”

  “But you don’t know how they physically affect Primals. Do you want the answer or not?”

  “Does it get me Clarissa?”

  “No, but it gets you knowledge,” I say.

  Kyle takes another large bite of the bloodied meat before he tosses the bone off to the side.

  “Then by all means, by my guest,” he says.

  “There are three ways pheromones work. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say one of them involves being so chemically different from the other that it physically makes the female sick.”

  “Not the male?” he asks.

  “No,” I say. “It makes the male uncharacteristically angry.”

  “Explains a lot.”

  “Figured it would. I’ve only had it happen to me once.”

  “With who?” he asks.

  “It’s not important. What I want to know is how badly you’ve been changed. What qualities have you figured out you possess? We know you can somehow communicate telepathically with Primals of different species. What else?”

  “My vision flips between different modes.”

  “Modes?” I ask.

  “Yes. Sometimes it’s hyper-focused. Sometimes it’s thermal. Sometimes it’s night vision. I flip between them, but I don’t know how I do it.”

  “What else?”

  “I’m strong. I pried the lead and iron bars of my cell off with my bare hands.”

  “You were able to touch lead?” I ask.

  “Is that not a thing Primals can do?”

  “No. Lead drains us of our energies. Our capabilities. The mere fact that you could override that so intensely is a massive show of strength and fortitude.”

  “Like a Wolf,” he says.

  “Yes,” I say. “Like a Wolf. Is there anything else?”

  “My hearing is stronger. My sense of smell is stronger. I can feel everything happening in my body if I focus. The breaking down and rebirth of cells. The tearing and repairing of muscle tissues. And when I morph, I have these pieces of skin that attach from my wrists, down my arms, and all the way down to my knees.”

  “Like a bat,” I say.

  “Yep.”

  “You can fly.”

  “I mean, I don’t know if they work.”

  “I’m sure they do. You can fly. That’s major, given your strength. It gives you a serious advantage in this war that’s coming.”

  “I’m not fighting in this war. I’m finding a way to get Clarissa out of here, and we’re leaving.”

  “Even when she can’t be around you?” I ask.

  “I’ll find a way,” Kyle says growling.

  “I’m going to ask you an important question, and I need you to be honest with me.”

  “Okay. What?”

  “Will the Council come after you?”

  I watch his eyes unfocus as he turns his gaze out into the forest. For a second, I fear I’ve lost him. To his memories. To his horrors. I prepare for his morphing. For a flash of anger to overtake him and careen him out of control.

  But instead, I see tears well in his eyes.

  I see sadness trickle over his features.

  And my heart aches for him.

  “I’m not the man Clarissa married,” he says.

  “You’re enhanced,” I say.

  “No. I’m not. I’m different. The man Clarissa married died the night those things came after me. What I’ve been transformed into—it’s completely different. I’m completely different.”

  “I’m sure there’s a way to chemically counteract your pheromones so Clarissa can be around you,” I say.

  “Would you shut up and let me give you the blessing I know you want?”

  “I’m not going to hear of it.”

  Kyle turns his tear-filled eyes toward mine, and I know that look. It’s the look of a broken man coming to terms with the fact that the love of his life is gone. I know that pain. I can sympathize with that pain. It tugs at a part of me I’ve ignored for far too long, and my hand falls to his back.

  “Take care of her,” Kyle says.

  “You know we will,” I say.

  “The Council will come after me. I’m an experiment, and if they’re out to kill Clarissa, then they’ll be out to kill me.”

  “Then you know you’re a danger here. To all of us, including Clarissa.”

  His face turns back out to the forest as he wipes his hands off on his shorts. He stands to his feet and goes back into the cottage, and I have a feeling he isn’t coming out. I wait there for a few minutes before heading back to Clarissa to tell her what I’ve figured out, but Joel stops me on the way there.

  “We need to talk,” he says.

  “Can it wait?” I ask.

  “No. We have to find a way to get that man-Primal-thing out of here.”

  “First of all,” I say as I wrench my arm away from his grasp, “that man-Primal-thing’s name is Kyle. Use it. Second of all, he knows.”

  “Then why isn’t he leaving? Why did he go back inside?”

  “Because he’s a grieving man coming to terms with the loss of his life, his freedom, and his wife.”

  “Who’s his wife?” he asks.

  “Clarissa,” I rumble.

  I watch his jaw clench as his eyes fall back behind me. I know he’s looking at that cottage. I know he’s debating on going up there himself. He’s on a short fuse, and I don’t like the look in his eyes. I especially don’t like how his hand is hovering over that large knife of his.

  I grab his arm and rip him up to me, physically pulling him off his feet.

  “If you harm him, you answer to me,” I say.

  “He’s a danger to Clarissa. To all of us. If the Council comes after him, we’ll be exposed. And you promised us the safety of this village.”

  “We promised you we wouldn't use it in battle. That’s it,” I say.

  “Then maybe when I tell you he’s also a harm to Clarissa’s baby you’ll put me down.”

  My brow furrows as I pull him closer to my face.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Clarissa’s pregnant. Josie swore me to s
ecrecy, but I don’t think it’s good for that kind of a secret to be kept. She’s pregnant, and him being here puts that unborn child in danger.”

  I drop Joel to his feet and wipe his feeling off my hand.

  Clarissa’s pregnant?

  Chapter 21

  Clarissa

  It’s getting harder to hide my pregnancy. The nausea isn’t as bad as it used to be, but my stomach is beginning to protrude a bit. I’m going to have to tell the guys at some point in time if Josie hasn’t already opened her mouth and told them herself. I’m starting to think that’s why Sebastian’s being so possessive of me. So protective. And my swirling mind keeps me awake at night. The sun is beginning to rise, and I feel more stifled than ever, so I get up and get dressed to go for a walk.

  I walk into the woods, trying to clear my head. Part of me wants to go in the direction I know Kyle is in, but the mere idea of it is forcing my body in the other direction. I don’t like it. I don’t like not having control over my own movements. I walk into the woods and breathe in the fresh air, allowing the cold snow to fall against my skin. It’s beautiful, the snow. I’ve never seen so much of it in one place at one time. It crunches beneath my feet in a satisfying way, and the sound is intoxicating.

  But it’s the growl behind a tree that catches my attention.

  My head whips around. I can see a dark shadow looming in the distance. Maybe ten feet from where I’m standing. I turn my body toward the growling sound and poise myself, ready to fight whoever’s there. I sniff the air and furrow my brow, then watch as the figure steps from behind the tree.

  I thought I recognized the smell.

  It’s Vlad.

  And he’s naked.

  Again.

  I feel my claws already trying to protrude as our eyes connect. I squint, and I can feel a shift within my body. My eyes focus and the image becomes clearer, and I can see every detail of Vlad’s body. His taut muscles stretched around a lean frame. His broad shoulders and his large, dexterous hands. His throbbing thighs bulging with veins and sweat dripping from his brow.

  I feel heat pooling between my legs, and I curse my pregnant figure.

  I know that’s why I’m so turned on all the time. I know my hormones are running wild. I watch Vlad approach me, his eyes locking with mine as he trudges through the snow. I back myself into a tree, and my eyes settle into a normal mode of sight. My jaw is trembling, and my knees are growing weak with each step he takes toward me.