by Jordan Deen
webs surrounded his deep brown eyes; a thin layer of moisture threatened to escape from his bottom lashes. I had never seen him so upset before and it felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest any second to heal his pain and beg for his forgiveness.
“Alex, I can’t do this. This is too new and it’s happening too fast.”
Alex released his hold on me and backed up. “Not an hour ago you said you loved me. How did I make you fall out of love with me?”
“You didn’t …”
“Then how can you stand here telling me this is happening too quickly? Are you sure you loved me at all?” I watched as he blinked his eyes hard and a lone tear trailed down his cheek.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped back. I didn’t want to hurt him and this argument was over Jillian and my insecurity, not over something he had done.
“It’s not that I don’t love you or that I’m not in love with you. It’s just less than two months ago that I even doubted I knew what love was … and now it just feels as if everything is being rushed.”
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
“I’m not.” I responded, defensively. He saw right through my avoidance in the spa.
Alex stepped closer and cupped my face in his hands. “Do you love me?” He said the words slow and determined, his eyes pleading me to say yes.
I thought carefully before answering. I had never felt this way for anyone before … except Brandon; and those feelings were more intense than what I had for Alex. But I wasn’t sure that was even real and Brandon was gone again.
“Yes. I do love you.” He could have any girl he wanted and he was fighting with me, for me. I would be crazy not to do everything I could to keep my first real relationship intact.
“Then what should be or what happens between us, is up to us. We can go as fast or as slow as you want.” He leaned in and brushed his face against mine taking in a deep breath. “I will never make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
It was hard to think with his face so close to mine and his warm breath trailing down my neck. My breathing staggered. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m just worried for my friend and I took it out on you.”
Alex smiled and leaned his forehead to mine. “I know you are and that is why I love you so much. But Jillian is happy and in love and I’ve never seen Gavin so happy either. I’m glad he has found someone that makes him just as happy as you make me.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and then whispered I love you.
I love you too. I whispered back to him. Whatever I had done to deserve him I’d do again three times over if I could keep him forever.
“Come on. Do you want to watch a movie?” He took his hand in mine and then stopped. “You need to change clothes first.”
Alex pointed to my dress; I forgot that I had it on. I walked back into the restroom to change and realized Alex had followed me. We were both silent for several moments looking at each other. Alex moved before my heart started to beat again. I held my breath as he reached for the zipper to the dress. His eyes searched mine for approval. I wasn’t sure I gave it when my dress fell into a pile on the floor. My whole body tensed and I closed my eyes trying to steady my nerves. His strong hands rubbed across my collarbone and down my shoulders to my wrists. He lifted both of my hands to rest behind his neck and he wrapped his arms around me securing every inch of my body to his. The tight muscles in his stomach against my bare stomach made me take another deep breath. I finally opened my eyes accepting what would be happening next. He swallowed hard and his arms contracted then released when my eyes matched his. Thankfully, I had worn my matching lace bra and panty set that Mom had gotten me at
Christmas. I stole quick glances in the mirror at myself, the supermodel was gone and she was replaced by me; with limp hair and no makeup. I regretted taking the shower.
You’re perfect. Alex said as he traced his fingers across the lace edging of the cup of my bra. He claimed my lips with his and my head started spinning. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than his smooth skin pressed against me.
When the tips of his fingers pressed into my back, I followed his lead and ran the pads of my fingers down his. Alex’s body shook slightly giving me instant gratification. But the minute I thought I had taken control of the situation, he swiftly picked me up by my thighs and rested me on the edge of the counter, wrapping my legs around his back and keeping his body firmly to me. His hands roamed my body and then snaked up into my wet hair pulling my face to his. His heart was pounding beneath his skin; his lips felt just as nervous and excited as mine. I didn’t want him to stop touching me; every part of my body was on fire like nothing I had ever experienced before.
“Hey you guys in here?” Jillian called from the other room.
Alex pulled back from me and let out a deep sigh. “I’m considering telling her no.” He whispered. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. My body wanted him to tell her to go away and never come back. “Yeah, we’ll be right out.”
“Ok pizza will be here in twenty.” She called out cheerfully. “Take your time!”
I covered my face with my hands, my skin caught on fire, but in a much different way. I buried my face into Alex’s chest. His protective arms wrapped around me and rubbed my back as he let out a small laugh. “I guess we are having pizza.” Alex kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry about it. She knows we love each other.”
I shook my head. “I know she does. It’s just embarrassing that she probably knows what we are doing in here.”
Alex smiled wider and raised his eyebrow. “What are we doing in here?”
I playfully smacked him on the arm, trying to hide my smirk. “You know.”
“Yes, but it always seems to get interrupted.” He kissed me passionately again before picking up my t-shirt from the counter. I breathed heavy trying to calm down as he helped me into my shirt and pants; his fingers meandered along the waistline.
“Rain check?” Alex gave me his mischievous grin.
By 2:30 a.m., I was exhausted and ready to go home. “How are we getting home?” I asked Alex looking over at Jillian who was sleeping across Gavin.
Alex tugged me closer. “You aren’t. I got permission for you to stay the night.”
“WHAT?” I jumped off the couch. There was no way my parents would allow it.
“I talked to your parents this morning and asked if you could stay. They said yes as long as Jillian was here with you. They have all the information for the room and the hotel.” He grinned. I looked at him in disbelief.
“I’m surprised my parents said yes.” They must have been half asleep, or maybe Dad was drunk and Mom was self medicated.
“Well they did. They said you were almost 18 and this was your first dance. I promised I’d take care of you … although they did tell me if anything happened to you that I would be a goner.” That sounded more like my parents.
My first night in a hotel room without my parents. I wasn’t sure if I was more excited or nervous. “I guess I should say thank you then.”
“You are welcome.” His fingertips brushed my lips. “I told you I’d do anything for you.” He definitely proved it. I don’t think I would have been brave enough to ask my parents to stay in a hotel overnight.
I dozed off by the end of the movie. Let’s go. Alex whispered in my ear, but I couldn’t will my body to move. I wrapped my arms around his neck softly as he carried me towards the bedroom. I was only slightly aware of him taking off my shirt and replacing it with a tank top. He slid my jeans carefully off my legs and laid me back on the bed covering me with the sheets; they felt like heaven against my skin. I opened my eyes slightly in time to see him take off his shirt. The muscles in his back rolled and tightened as he leaned over to pull off his shorts. My breath quickened and suddenly I was no longer sleepy. Alex turned off the lights in the bedroom and the bed jostled as he climbed in. I held my breath but couldn’t control my rapid heartbeat as I anticipated his next move. I wondered if we would pick
up where we left off.
Adrenaline rushed through me as Alex rested his arm around my midsection and put his head against my shoulder to rest close to my face. When he let out a deep breath, I felt his entire body relax and conform to mine. He surrounded me easily making me a part of him.
I love you. He whispered.
The feeling of his smooth heartbeat against my back mesmerized me, as we lay cuddled against each other. The sun poured through the windows and the curtains gently rustled from the wind. Birds singing in the trees and the laughter of children floated in through the windows.
“You shouldn’t be here with him.”
His lips brushed against my neck. “We belong together. You have to come back to me.” He kissed my neck sending chills through my entire body. “You are my destiny. My mate.” I rolled over to see what Alex was talking about. Lying there with him felt so perfect; I couldn’t understand how he could say I didn’t belong with him.
“What do you mean …?” I stopped mid-sentence. Lying next to me was Brandon.
I started to get up from the bed, but he stopped me resting his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb under my eye. I blinked hard trying to make sure he was really there. “You know this isn’t right. You know you aren’t supposed to be with him. If you do this with him … if you continue to fall in love with him … I will die.”
His words echoed in my ears vibrating my body. I barely
