by Kat Brookes
“Some homecoming, huh?” he said with a frown.
“It was probably for the best,” she admitted. “Lucas wasn’t in the best of moods when we got here yesterday.”
Justin settled back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in a casual stance. “Jackson said you and Lucas had words.”
Lainie turned her attention back to the pan of crispy bacon atop the stove, a knot forming in her stomach. Just as she had feared, Jackson had been there long enough to hear at least part of the argument she was having with her son. “I wish you hadn’t sent him here with the key.”
“You’d rather I left you standing outside in the cold?”
She frowned. “No.”
“You told me you wanted to wait until today to surprise Mom and Dad since you arrived early, and because you wanted to give Lucas a chance to settle in after the move. Therefore, my calling them to run over to Bent Creek to bring you their spare key was out of the question. So Jackson was the next-best thing.”
Lainie sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. Especially since you’re doing so much for Lucas and me, allowing us to stay here until we find a place of our own. But things are just...well, they’re awkward between Jackson and myself.” She’d also need to look for a job. While her husband had left them financially secure, she wanted to keep most of that money in the bank for unexpected expenses and for a college fund for her son.
He nodded in understanding. “I’d imagine they would be. You haven’t really seen him or even spoken to him for years. What I don’t understand is why that is.”
Lainie prayed to the Lord for the emotional strength this homecoming was going to require of her. But if it helped her son, she would endure anything that came her way—even her foolish young past where she’d thrown herself, heart included, at Jackson, only to be told he didn’t feel the same way.
“Life changes and so do people,” she explained as she turned to the stove and began plucking the bacon out of the cast-iron frying pan with the tongs. She then placed the crispy strips onto the paper-towel-covered plate she’d put on the counter beside the stove. “Jackson is all about the rodeo,” she went on, praying the hurt she’d tried to keep bottled up where her brother’s best friend was concerned would remain where she’d placed it—buried deep. “And, of course, his family. Just as I’m not the same young girl who left Bent Creek all those years ago. I’ve grown up.” Grown wiser. “The focus in my life is on my family, too, but most especially on my son. And now, more than ever, it needs to stay that way. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Okay, so if I were to read a little deeper between the lines of that explanation, I think what you’re also saying is that you still haven’t gotten over Jackson,” her brother said, taking Lainie by surprise.
Her head snapped around, her gaze meeting his. “Excuse me?”
Justin grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboard and poured himself some of the coffee Lainie had made when she’d first awoken that morning. “When you were little,” he said calmly, “you used to adore Jackson, following us around like a pesky shadow. As you got older, I would watch your face light up whenever he came over to visit.”
“He was like my other brother,” she said, realizing as soon as she’d said it that she’d done so a little too defensively. “I was always happy to see you when you came home.”
“Maybe so,” he conceded. “But I never got as many meatballs as you served Jackson with his spaghetti when you helped Mom with dinner. And I might also point out that his garlic bread slices were—”
“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”
“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.
“It’s how it has to be.”
“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”
“Justin,” she groaned.
“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.
She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”
Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”
“But no children of his own,” she countered.
“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”
“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”
“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”
Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.
“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”
His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”
She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.
“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”
He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished frying up the bacon right before you got home.”
“Have you eaten?”
She shook her head. “No. But I’m not very hungry.”
“Lainie, you need to eat,” he insisted.
“Fine,” she said, not having the energy to argue. “I’ll have an egg, too.”
“And Lucas?”
“He’s still asleep. Traveling home yesterday took a lot out of him.” As did his determination to fight this move, to fight her, she thought wearily, her heart aching. She turned back to the stove before her brother noticed the tears filling her eyes. While she had come there, praying her brother might be able to help her son, she didn’t want to add to Justin’s stress at that moment. Not with all he had goin
g on at work. She could weather this storm a little longer on her own, just as she had been for the past eight months or so, ever since her son had started acting out with fits of anger. “How many eggs would you like?” she called back over her shoulder.
“Two, please.”
“Over easy with a dash of pepper?”
“I can’t believe you remember that.”
She remembered a lot of things. Some she wished she didn’t. Like the kiss she had given her brother’s best friend at the Old West Festival Dance, one that had every bit of her heart behind it, and then the rejection that had followed. She remembered her determination to forget him, and then her rush to find the kind of love Jackson had denied her.
Will had been the one to give her that love. While he hadn’t taken Jackson’s place completely, it had been enough for her to find happiness with her husband, even have a son with him. She also remembered arguing with him before driving home from the cocktail party his company had given in his honor for landing one of the biggest contracts their firm had ever closed on. She’d been upset with him for partaking in far too many celebratory toasts. And to think she’d appointed herself his designated driver, to make certain they both got home safely, only to be hit by another driver who hadn’t let someone else take him home. She would never forget the jarring impact of the other car slamming into them, followed by pain and fear as the darkness had engulfed her.
“Lainie?” Her brother’s worried voice brought her back to the present. She shoved the painful memories away and forced a smile as she carried the egg carton over to the counter by the stove. “Toast?” she asked as she cracked an egg over the nonstick frying pan she had set out on the burner next to the cast-iron skillet.
“Sounds good,” Justin said. “But I’m fixing it for us.”
She nodded and watched as her brother crossed the kitchen to the pantry. “When do you have to go back to work?”
“This afternoon,” he replied as he returned with a half-eaten loaf of bread. “After I get a few more hours of sleep.”
“Oh,” she replied, her shoulders sagging. She thought they’d have at least a little time to spend together before his next shift. It looked as if her parents were going to have to come to her and Lucas instead.
Her brother stepped over and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I really am sorry, sis. I know this isn’t working out the way we planned, but everything’s going to be all right. I promise.”
He had always been a man of his word. But it was a promise she wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep. Her life felt like it had unraveled at its seams to the point no amount of sewing would ever be able to repair it. No matter how many prayers she sent heavenward. All she could do was nod her reply.
“You look great by the way,” he said, his tone more uplifting.
Lainie snorted as her gaze met his. Then she poked a finger into his shirt, nudging him away. “I’d appreciate it if you would take a step or two back, so your nose doesn’t poke my eye out when it starts to grow.”
“I’m not lying,” he said with a chuckle. “Considering all you’ve been dealing with, you look good.”
“Well, you don’t,” she countered.
Justin’s dark brows lifted.
“It’s the truth,” she said, managing a small grin. “You look like you just rolled out of bed fully dressed.” Her gaze moved down to his wrinkled uniform and then back up to his face. “And you need a shave.”
Her brother chuckled. “I did just roll out of bed, or off my office sofa to be exact.” He scrubbed a hand down over his jaw. “I was on my way to grab a shower and shave when I heard someone moving about in the kitchen. I figured you’d be sleeping in, too.”
“I couldn’t,” she admitted. “Too much on my mind I suppose.”
His expression sobered. “I hate that you’ve had to deal with everything on your own. Especially over the holidays.”
“It was my choice,” she reminded him, not wanting to think about Christmas being only a couple of weeks away.
The doorbell rang, thankfully taking her brother’s focus off her problems. “Be right back.”
Lainie watched him go and then turned back to the stove. Grabbing the shaker, she sprinkled some salt over the eggs and added a dash of pepper. Then, reaching for the spatula, she flipped them over in the pan.
“Morning,” a husky male voice, not her brother’s, said from the entryway behind her.
Her eyes widened, and her foolish heart immediately sped up. She cast an anxious glance back over her shoulder to find Jackson Wade standing there, cowboy hat held in one hand, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt.
“Morning,” she replied.
Justin stepped past him into the kitchen. “Come on in,” he told his friend. “We’re just getting ready to have some breakfast. You hungry?”
“No,” Jackson answered. “I ran into Deputy Vance when I stopped by Abby’s to grab a doughnut and a cup of coffee this morning. He said you’d gone home to catch up on some much-needed sleep.”
Lainie turned to look at the two men. “I could step out of the room if you need to talk to Justin.”
Jackson shook his head. “No need. I just came by to see what time I was supposed to pick you up and take you to your mom and dad’s today.”
“You could have called,” Justin noted. “Saved yourself a trip over here.”
Jackson’s brows drew together. “I don’t have Lainie’s number and I figured you were fast asleep. It wasn’t like I had to go out of my way to swing by here. We are neighbors, you know.”
Lainie was still trying to process Jackson’s reason for being there. “Justin asked you to take Lucas and me to Mom and Dad’s?”
“I did,” her brother said matter-of-factly as he removed the nylon spatula from her hand and then nudged her aside.
Only then did Lainie realize the eggs she’d been making them for breakfast had started to burn, all thanks to their unexpected visitor.
“When I knew I wouldn’t be free to take you to see them,” her brother explained, somewhat apologetically as he slid the crispy-edged eggs out onto the awaiting plates, “I called Jackson to see if he could run you over there.”
“He doesn’t need to do that,” Lainie insisted with a frown, her gaze fixed on Jackson’s handsome face.
“You can’t walk there,” her brother pointed out. “And you need to go see Mom and Dad before they catch wind of your being here ahead of schedule.”
“She could take your truck,” Jackson suggested.
Her brother shook his head. “Lainie doesn’t drive anymore or I would have offered it to her.”
Jackson’s gaze swung back her way, surprise registering on his face. But he didn’t press her with questions. Instead, he said, “It’s a short ride. I’ll drop you off at your parents’ place and then go home. You can give me a call when you’re ready for me to pick you and Lucas up.” He looked even less happy about the situation than she did.
Of course, that shouldn’t surprise her. Jackson had effectively rid himself of her all those years ago. She was quite certain he wasn’t the least bit eager to have her shoved back into his life again. But she wanted to see her parents, enough to go along with her brother’s alternative plan—Jackson included.
* * *
“Lainie!” her mother squealed in delight the second she opened the door and saw her daughter standing there. Her gaze dropped down to her grandson, her happiness at seeing him written all over her face. “Lucas! Look how big you’ve gotten since we saw you last!” She bent to capture him in a warm hug.
Lainie waited, fearing her son’s response, because he’d been avoiding any sort of affection where Lainie was concerned. But he reciprocated his grandmother’s warm embrace and then stood smiling while she planted several happy kisses on his cheeks. Lainie felt both relief and hurt.
/> Her mother leaned in to give Lainie a loving hug as well. “We didn’t expect you home until tomorrow.”
“We got an earlier start than we had planned.” She left out the part where her son had threatened to run away so he wouldn’t have to leave his dad. Lainie had tried to explain to Lucas that his father would be with him anywhere he went, that his soul was no longer with his body where it had been laid to rest, but with the Lord. When he hadn’t seemed accepting of her gentle explanation, she’d decided not to wait to go home to Bent Creek. It hadn’t been cheap to change their flights last minute, but the relief she’d felt when they’d landed in Rock Springs, Wyoming, so close to home and the help she so badly needed, was worth the cost.
“Well, come on in,” her mother said, stepping aside as she motioned them into the one-bedroom, ground floor condo her parents had moved into a little over four years earlier. Her father’s arthritic knees had pained him too much going up and down the stairs in the home Lainie and Justin had been raised in. So her parents had downsized into a much more manageable one-story condo a town over from Bent Creek, selling their house to Justin for far less than they could have gotten for it on the open housing market. But that’s how her parents had always been—striving to make her and Justin’s lives better any way they could.
“Baby girl!” her father said as he joined them in the entryway.
“Dad,” she said, stepping into his welcoming embrace.
Her father turned to Lucas. “And who’s this young man?” He pretended to search beyond her son. “Where’s my baby boy?”
Lucas groaned. “Grandpa.”
Her father’s eyes widened. “Lucas? Is that really you?”
Her mother gave her husband a nudge. “Stop your teasing. We both know we can’t keep him our little boy forever.”
If only that were possible, Lainie thought sadly. Lucas had always adored her. That’s why this change in him was so heartbreaking.
