by Kat Brookes
“Afternoon, Jackson,” her father said, glancing past Lainie and her son.
Jackson gave a nod in greeting. “Mr. Dawson.” Then he looked to her mother. “Mrs. Dawson.”
Her mother smiled. “It’s so good to see you.” Her gaze moved beyond him. “Where’s Justin?”
“Home, catching up on his sleep,” Lainie explained. “He worked the night shift last night and has to go back in later this afternoon.”
Disappointment registered on her mother’s face. “That son of mine is always burning the candle at both ends.” She looked to Jackson. “Well, come on in out of that cold.”
“I’m not staying,” he told her. “Just dropping Lainie and Lucas off.”
“Don’t be silly,” the older woman said with a wave of her hand. “There’s no sense in you making two trips out here. Stay and visit.”
He hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “This is family time. You don’t need me around while you’re catching up with your daughter and your grandson.”
“You are family,” her father said with a warm smile.
“That’s right,” Lainie’s mother said. “You are. Now come on inside. It’s cold out.”
Jackson looked to Lainie for help, but if she were to put up any sort of protest it would have her parents asking questions she’d rather not have to answer. So he nodded his consent, swept the cowboy hat from his head and stepped the rest of the way inside, closing the door behind him.
“Lucas, there’s a plate of Christmas cookies on the kitchen table,” her mother said. “Grandma baked them this morning if you’d like to go pick a few out.”
Lucas’s face lit up and then her son raced off in search of the sugary sweets his grandmother had no doubt prepared for his arrival.
“Two cookies!” Lainie hollered after him, knowing full well her son would go for the iced cut-out sugar cookies. They were his favorite. And her mother’s tended to be the size of cereal bowls.
“I thought your brother told me he was off today,” her mother said as she led them into the living room.
“He was supposed to be,” Lainie replied as she removed her coat and draped it over the arm of the sofa.
“Deputy Culler fell off a ladder while putting up Christmas lights and had to be taken to the hospital,” Jackson explained further. “Justin had to cover for him last night.”
Her mother’s hand went to her mouth. “Oh, that poor man,” she groaned in sympathy. “Is he all right?”
“He fractured his hip and had to have emergency surgery,” he explained. “But he’ll be fine.”
“Thank the Lord it wasn’t worse,” her father said. “He could’ve broken his neck.”
Like Will had when the car driven by a very intoxicated teenage boy struck ours. Lainie felt nausea stir in the pit of her stomach.
“Oh, honey,” her dad said, his face blanching as he realized what he’d just said. “I didn’t mean to stir up old—”
“It’s okay, Dad,” she said, hurrying to cut him off. Her son didn’t know any of the details about his father’s passing, other than the fact that she had been behind the wheel when the accident had occurred. And he only knew that because one of his friends at school had overheard his mother talking to another mother about Lucas’s father’s accident. That came after a more recent incident in their community that also involved a teen driving recklessly. Thankfully, the other driver’s quick reactions had allowed him to steer clear of what could have been a truly serious outcome—like it had been with her and Will.
Pulling herself together, as she’d had to do since that night she’d awakened in the hospital to find out her husband hadn’t survived the wreck, she said, “I agree. Deputy Culler was very blessed to have come out of it with only a broken hip. But that means Justin and Deputy Vance are going to be handling all the shifts until he can bring in some backup.” She was shocked to sound so calm when so much guilt and regret was whirling about inside her.
“What about Deputy Mitchell?” her father asked.
“Apparently, Deputy Mitchell is on a cruise in Alaska somewhere.”
“Poor Justin,” her mother said with a worried frown. “He works himself to the bone as it is. And poor Kathy. She’s got to be beside herself with worry. A broken hip will mean a long recovery for Todd. I’ll have to make some soup and corn bread to take over to the Cullers after he gets home. Kathy will no doubt have her hands full taking care of her husband.”
Lainie smiled. So like her mom, always caring about others. “I’m sure they would appreciate that.”
“I think I’ll go peek in on my grandson,” her dad said, getting up from his seat. “Wouldn’t want him to spoil his appetite.”
Her mother laughed as he walked away. “Same goes for you,” she called after him and then turned back to Lainie and Jackson. “Your father is going to be a bad influence on your son, I’m afraid.”
“A little sugar won’t hurt him, I suppose,” Lainie replied with a shrug. She had learned not to sweat the small stuff. She had much bigger stuff in her life to contend with.
“You should know,” her mother said with a smile. “Your father ‘snuck’ you and your brother plenty of sweets when the two of you were growing up.”
“And I loved him for it.” And she loved him for giving her and Justin a place to call home. For making them feel safe and loved. The humor left her eyes. “How’s Dad doing? He’s not moving around as well as he was the last time I saw him.” That had been the previous December, when her parents and Justin had flown to Sacramento the week before Christmas to spend a few days with her and Lucas, because she couldn’t bring herself to come home for the holidays. Guilt at Will’s passing still kept her from wanting to celebrate anything. She’d only done so for her son’s sake, wanting to keep his life as normal as possible.
Her mother gave a wave of her hand. “Don’t go worrying yourself over us. Your father and I are doing fine. Just the aches and pains that come along with getting old.” She leaned forward, placing a hand on Lainie’s knee. “The question is, how are you doing, honey?”
Lainie shot a nervous glance in Jackson’s direction, praying he wouldn’t bring up the argument he’d witnessed between her and her son, and then turned to smile at her mother. “I’m home where all my family and friends are. How could I not be happy?”
“We’re so glad to have you back here with us,” her mother said, tearing up. “It makes me want to move back to Bent Creek.”
“I’m sure Justin would be more than willing to sell the house back to you and Dad. But keep in mind that he loves that place, which means you’ll more than likely be stuck with him living there with the two of you.”
Her mother laughed. “He does love the ranch. So did we. But this condo works best with your father’s physical limitations. Not that I wouldn’t love having both you and your brother and my grandson, living under the same roof as us again.”
“That would be nice,” Lainie concurred. “But as much as I would like to go back to the way things were, I know better. We can’t turn back time. All we can do is move on and accept the fact that nothing stays the same.”
“I beg to differ,” Jackson said, meeting her gaze. “Some things do remain the same.”
Lainie stiffened. As if she didn’t already know where his feelings lay where she was concerned. “Another reason not to look back, but to move on.”
Her mother’s confused gaze shifted back and forth between Lainie and Jackson. “Well,” she said, as if sensing there was more to the conversation than what she was hearing, “one thing that hasn’t changed is the happiness it brings me to have you home for the holidays. And, Jackson, plan on joining us at Justin’s place for Christmas Eve lunch. It’ll be just like old times.” Her brows drew together in worry. “Unless that would interfere with plans you have with your ever-growing family.”
He looked to La
inie, who was mentally begging him to refuse her mother’s invitation, and then nodded. “I’d like that, Mrs. Dawson. What can I bring?”
What could he bring? Lainie looked at Jackson in disbelief. He really intended to come to their holiday gathering?
“Just bring yourself,” her mother said happily. “I’m sure you and Lainie have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Not really,” Lainie countered. “Justin has kept me up-to-date on Jackson and his rodeo company’s pursuits.”
Jackson’s dark brows lifted, as did the corner of his mouth with her pronouncement. Then that Wade dimple worked its way to the surface. “Keeping tabs on me, Lainie?”
Heat crept up her neck. Pushing up from the sofa, Lainie turned to her mom. “I’m going to go check in on Lucas and Dad and make sure they haven’t eaten all your cookies.”
“Be sure to bring one back for Jackson, honey,” her mother called after her. “You know how much he always liked my sugar cookies.”
Far more than he’d ever liked her, Lainie thought with a frown as she hurried away. And she would do well to remember that.
Chapter Three
“You cutting out for the day?”
Jackson released his hold on his truck’s door handle and turned to see one of his brothers, Garrett, leaning against the open barn door, concern written across his face. His other brother, Tucker, stood next to him, his mouth drawn in a tight line.
“I’ve got an errand to run.”
“Everything okay?” Tucker asked with a studying glance.
Of course his brothers would pick up on his being a little off his game, despite Jackson’s efforts to go on as he always had. Not an easy task when inside his thoughts were whirling around like crazy, dragging his emotions right along with them.
Sighing, Jackson said, “I’m on my way out to Justin’s place.”
“I think you’ll have better luck finding him in town,” Tucker said. “That man never stops working. Especially now that Deputy Culler is laid up.”
“I’m not going over to his place to see him,” Jackson confessed. “I’m going over to check on Lainie and her son.”
Simultaneously, his brothers’ eyes rounded, making them look like a couple of startled hoot owls.
“Lainie?” Garrett repeated in confusion.
“She’s home?” Tucker said in surprise.
Jackson nodded. “She and her son flew in the day before last.”
“That so?” Garrett said as he peeled off his work gloves, shoving them into the back pocket of his jeans. “You never made any mention of it.”
“I couldn’t,” Jackson replied. “I gave my word to Justin to keep it to myself until Lainie could get out to visit with her parents. She came home sooner than expected and wanted to surprise them, which she did yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Tucker repeated. “So it’s no longer a secret that she’s home, yet you still kept it to yourself? You know Mom would want to know Lainie’s back. Especially now that it’s for good. They always get together when she comes home.”
Yes, they did find time to meet up when Lainie came home. His mother would always give them the rundown of what was new with Lainie after every visit, since Jackson and his brothers were usually out of town when she came to Bent Creek to see her family. It was him Lainie clearly didn’t want anything to do with, strategically planning her visits around his not being there. Her determination to avoid him because of the hurt he’d caused her was something he prayed he would be able to set to rights—even though he knew there was no chance of anything more than friendship between them. Not only because Lainie had moved on a long time ago, but because he was no longer the man she had been starry-eyed over. He was a has-been rodeo champ with a lame leg. But if she was going to be putting down roots again in Bent Creek with her son, they needed to find some way to coexist without the past coming between them.
“Never mind that,” Tucker said, drawing Jackson from his thoughts. “Are you really going over to Jackson’s to check up on Lainie and her son?”
He nodded.
“To make amends with her?” Garrett pressed.
His brother’s words caught Jackson off guard. “Amends for what?” he heard himself say.
“Maybe it’s time you tell us,” Garrett said. “You and Lainie used to be so close. And then she went off to school and everything changed. It was as if she had shut you out of her life. And she only came home to visit when you weren’t here. And if you were, she deliberately steered clear of you.”
“Garrett’s right,” Tucker said with a nod of agreement. “There was no missing the divide that had fallen between the two of you more than a decade ago. Only we never understood why.”
“What happened between the two of you?” Garrett asked. “Lainie was the sister we all longed to have after losing ours, but she was even closer to you considering all the time you spent over at the Dawsons’ with Justin when we were growing up.”
“She wasn’t like a sister to me,” he countered with a growl of frustration. He’d given up so much when he’d let her go. Something that had only really set in the day she’d called to tell him she was getting married. “At least, not as we grew older.”
His brothers exchanged glances before turning their focus back to Jackson.
“Care to explain?” Garrett said, his request tendered without the usual teasing that went on between the three of them.
Jackson looked down at the thin coating of snow that covered the ground around his booted feet. He’d never lied to his family when directly asked a question and he wasn’t about to start now.
“I don’t know how it happened,” he began honestly, lifting his gaze to meet theirs. “Lainie was Justin’s little sister. But as time went on and we got older, I started noticing her as the pretty, kindhearted young woman she was growing up to be. But I forced myself to think of her as Justin’s baby sister, not as just Lainie. That all changed when she kissed me,” he said, telling them what he hadn’t told anyone, not even his best friend, for all those years.
“Lainie kissed you?” Tucker exclaimed in surprise.
Garrett elbowed him in the ribs. “Let him finish.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Go on.”
“It might have started out that way, but then I found myself kissing her back,” Jackson admitted. “It was at the Old West Festival Dance after she graduated from high school. Before she went off to college and I went off to ride the rodeo circuit.”
“And you were such a bad kisser that she’s spent the years since trying to avoid you?” Tucker said, only to receive chastising scowls from both Garrett and Jackson.
Tucker shrugged. “Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. I can tell what happened back then still weighs pretty heavy on your heart.”
“It does,” he said. They had no idea just how heavy. “Lainie wanted to see where things might go between us. Even going so far as to tell me she was willing to turn down her full ride to college in California to remain in Bent Creek near me. Said she would find a job that would allow her to switch up her work schedule to travel to the rodeos I would be competing in.” Jackson’s pained frown deepened. “I couldn’t let her do that, sacrifice all the hard work she had put into getting that academic scholarship for me. So I told her that I only thought of her as a little sister. Nothing more. That the rodeo was where my heart lay. Or something to that effect.”
“Ouch,” Tucker said. “No wonder she has been avoiding you.”
“You did the right thing,” Garrett said with a nod.
Had he? Jackson wondered. Because letting Lainie go had been the biggest regret of his life.
* * *
Jackson caught sight of Lainie’s son slipping into the fort at the edge of the tree line as he drove up to Justin’s place. He couldn’t help but wonder if Lucas and his mother had gotten into another argume
nt like the one he’d happened upon the day she’d arrived in Bent Creek. He prayed not. It had hurt his heart to see the emotional divide between the two of them.
He thanked the Lord, as he was sure Lainie had, that her parents hadn’t seemed to notice the rift between mother and son when Jackson had taken them there to visit. But then the Dawsons were overcome with joy to have them both back in Wyoming for good. Lucas had chatted away with his grandparents as if nothing was amiss, had feasted on the cookies his grandmother had baked for him, had even smiled, but every time Lainie had attempted to be a part of her son’s conversation with his grandparents he’d either clammed up or responded with his tiny brows knitted tightly together in an angry scowl.
Shutting off the engine, Jackson stepped down from his truck and made his way around to the back of the house. Sure enough, Lucas was exactly where Jackson had expected him to be, seated inside the fort on the rough-hewn wooden bench that ran along one side of the small space. Leaning back against the rows of treated boards that made up the walls, Lucas sat with his arms crossed, bottom lip trembling, tears spilling from his closed eyes.
Jackson knocked at the entrance where Lucas had left the door partially open in his haste to get inside.
The boy jumped, his head snapping up. “M-Mr. Wade,” he choked out.
Removing his cowboy hat, Jackson ducked and stepped inside. “Seems like I’m not the only one who thought this looked like a good place to slip away to and do some thinking,” he said matter-of-factly as he settled his much-larger frame onto the bench next to Lucas.
“I’m not thinking,” Lainie’s son said with a sniffle.
“No? Because this fort is the kind of place men tend to slip away to when they’ve got things on their mind that need to be sorted out.”
“But I’m not a man,” he countered.
“You’re not too far off from becoming one,” Jackson told him.
Lucas straightened ever so slightly, as if trying to appear the young man Jackson proclaimed him to be.
