Strip for Me

by Coffman, Georgia

  This Lauren is still my sister, the one I used to run to when a boy I liked pushed me and stole the cookies Mom made especially for me.

  I smile at her now. The new Lauren.

  But the one who’s still my sister.

  “I’m… I’m sorry for being rude to you. I know I was hurt, but it didn’t give me an excuse to treat you that way.”

  I let one final tear fall. “I deserved it. I’m the one—”

  “I was jealous of you,” she blurts.

  “Of me?”

  She winces like it pains her to admit such a thing. “Yes. Jealous of your carefree nature. How you just up and moved to LA and live this adventure.” Then her voice changes, becoming more stern. “But that’s not me. This town is my adventure.”

  I start to scoff but think better of it. She catches me, anyway, and glares. “You only remember the bad parts of this town. The bad memories associated with it. But if you stopped to look around at the nice people, the comfort, the good desserts at Pearl’s Cupcakes, you’d realize it’s not so bad.” Her expression softens. “It’s part of you, just like it’s part of me.”

  “LA suits me better, though. You have to agree.”

  Sitting back, she smiles and shrugs. “True. It’s a good look on you, but me? I’m not made for LA. Can you imagine me sitting on the beach for hours? I wouldn’t last thirty minutes with wet sand stuck between my toes.”

  I grin, thinking about her aversion to getting messy. “But maybe more visits to see your sister wouldn’t be so bad?”

  “I’d like that.” She grins at me as we stare at each other. Then she slowly pats her stomach. “Baby Wells would like that.”

  I throw my hands up and leap off the couch toward her. But this time, it’s not to pull her hair or scream at her. This time, it’s to hug my sister and feel genuine excitement for her and her new husband.

  “Does this mean I can borrow your old clothes for the next nine months? You won’t need them, right?”

  She pulls back, an inch from my face. “Like I’m going to let you wear my Kate Spade in the slums of LA.” She shudders in my arms.

  I tremble with laughter, thinking some things won’t ever change.

  But the fact that I’m reconciling with my sister relieves me of so much tension that I’m ready to face what else scares me.

  It’s time I stop letting my fears get in the way of my own happiness and that includes Sebastian.

  With more resolve than ever, I drive to my parents’ house for the night before I go back to the West Coast. As I drive, I pass through downtown, Lauren’s words replaying in my head.

  I start seeing the town in a different light, a positive one. It’s different than LA. It’s no longer my home, but Lauren’s right. This place is part of me.

  My breathing becomes easier as I pull into my parents’ driveway, my chest not so heavy anymore. I know some things won’t change between my parents and me. We may be somewhat past the wedding debacle, but they still give me shit over wanting to pursue an unconventional career path. My dad didn’t even know what Instagram was, so it was fun trying to explain to him that it’s a real thing.

  And while I don’t have their complete blessing, Lauren’s right. They just want what’s best for me.

  Which is what I tell myself as I get out of my mom’s car. It’s what I repeat to myself as I open their door, ready to talk about the social media thing in more detail and to also bring up Sebastian’s occupation.

  They haven’t mentioned it, so I assume Lauren hasn’t told them like I thought she would—another thing I’m grateful for. That she is, in fact, looking out for me in her own way.

  I wouldn’t bother telling them now about him being a dancer for a Vegas male revue show. I wouldn’t bother dealing with the backlash, but I want him back.

  I’m ready to face them, feeling more optimistic than ever that Sebastian will take me back. He may have given me the space I asked for, but he still lingers in my thoughts and the way he likes all my social media posts. Like he’s silently cheering me on.

  That’s what I want—a partner to cheer me on and believe in me.

  His silent cheers have me betting I won’t be too late.

  And when the time comes, I want my parents to have had the time they needed to adjust.

  Because when I win him over, I don’t plan on ever letting him go.

  Chapter 54

  Sebastian

  I knock on her door, shoving my hands in the pockets of my joggers and exhaling dramatically. We haven’t spoken in a while. The only reason I know she’s even still alive is from her Instagram blowing up lately.

  I jerked off more times than I care to admit while looking at pictures of her at the gym, sweat dripping between her breasts. Her full breasts pushed together with a sports bra that angels themselves stitched together to make me bite my knuckles.

  I knock on her door again, kicking a rock to the side and begging the universe for grace. At this point, I’d pray to a leprechaun for even one pebble of luck thrown my way.

  Ty and Leo convinced me to do this, to come here and fight for her. Even if she thinks we’re done, I never truly believed it. She’s always on my mind—at the gym, in the shower, even when I go to the fucking grocery store.

  I know Kendall was put in my life for a reason, and I’m not going to let her go easily.

  Especially not after what Ty said, that she’s still hung up on me, according to Emma. When I asked Ty how he knew that, he shrugged and said he attends Emma’s classes when he’s in town—said he likes yoga. Even though I’ve never seen him touch his toes or so much as try.

  I didn’t think too hard about it at the time because I was more concerned about Kendall and her feelings for me.

  And how happy that made me.

  Ty also said she was visiting her sister but got back to town this morning. So I drove straight here when I knew she’d be home.

  I’m about to knock a third time when I hear a muffled voice on the other side. “What’re you doing here?”

  “Kendall?”

  “Yes, Kendall. You’re at my apartment.”

  I exhale in laughter, imagining her scowl. I missed that, her attitude.

  I missed her.

  There’s shuffling on the other side of the door and then a pause.

  It fortunately opens, but unfortunately, Kendall’s in her robe with her wet hair tossed over to one side. Her face is free of makeup, and her hands are perched on her hips.

  My eyes are glued to her robe, her exposed skin. Knowing she just got out of the shower drives me to the brink of insanity.

  I missed her tan skin, her sassy stance, all of it. All of her.

  I’m ready to get on my knees and beg her to give us another chance. Anything I have to do to convince this goddess to be mine.

  She steps closer and wipes at my mouth, her soft touch glorious on my stubbled chin. “You’re drooling.” She smirks.

  I’m overwhelmed with her closeness. It’s been so long since I last got a taste of her, since our fight on the church steps. Weeks of watching her Instagram along with the rest of the world as though I wasn’t special to her. As though I don’t know her on an intimate level.

  Unable to stop myself, I grab the back of her head and slam my mouth to hers as I push her inside.

  She stiffens at first, but she doesn’t pull away.

  I take it as an invitation to continue, snaking my tongue between her lips and running my hands down her arms. The silk robe “accidentally” falls off her shoulders, and the tops of her breasts make my mouth water all over again.

  With a moan, she pulls back, leaving me empty but with a pleasant view of her swollen lips and perfect breasts before she pulls her robe on tight. She shakes her head. “Stop. We can’t… this isn’t…”

  “This is everything right. This is all I’ve craved for almost two months.” I run my hand through my short hair. “I missed you.”

  A throat clears behind us, the Asian woman from
across the hall glaring at us with arms crossed. The woman has impeccable timing.

  Kendall rolls her eyes. “Okay, Mrs. Lang. I’ll be more careful about the door.” She shuts it and leans against it. After a pause, she gives me a sad smile. “You missed my body, you mean?”

  I throw my hands up where she can see them. Surrendering, I plead with her, “Can we please talk? I’ll behave. For now, anyway.” I smile when she eyes me suspiciously, mischievously.

  God, this woman will be the death of me.

  She nods and smooths her hair down.

  I gently grab her hand and lead her to the couch. “I don’t have a grand gesture.” I chuckle nervously. “But I just need you to hear me out. Please let me explain. Let me explain and then decide what you want.”

  “What’re you even doing in LA? Shouldn’t you be in Portland?”

  I smile. “You know my schedule?”

  “I… um…”

  Her blush makes me smile wider, and my chest expands knowing she’s been keeping tabs on me. It’s the encouragement and hope I need to continue. “I live in LA. Most of the time, anyway.”

  Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything else.

  “I live here, and I only perform part-time for Naked Heat now, mostly just in Vegas.” Her eyes keep widening with every word, and I just want to take her in my arms and carry her into the bedroom. But I know we need to clear the air. I need her to know who I am now. Who I want to be. How I want my future to look.

  And I want her in it. I want her to be part of it all.

  Once we’re settled onto the couch, I tell her everything, trying not to stare at the way her legs are spread. She sits with one foot under her other knee, and it’s driving me crazy wondering if she’s wearing any underwear. It’s been so long since I’ve slept with her, with anyone, and my willpower is being put to the ultimate test.

  But I refrain and tell her everything instead. About Leo signing with me for a loan to buy my dream lot. The hotel I’ll build. The suite where I’ll live.

  With Kendall, someday. If she’ll have me.

  But I leave that part out, not wanting to freak her out. I’m happy she’s finally talking to me, and I don’t want to ruin it.

  She remains silent through my whole spiel. When I’m done, she still sits quietly, watching my every move with a blank expression. I’ve usually been able to read her, but she’s motionless now. It’s confusing.

  For a moment, I panic. My heart rate speeds up at the thought that I probably sound like a lunatic with my unrealistic plans to build a hotel in LA, the one place that has plenty.

  I’ve been confident about it this whole time, confident that my plan is unique enough to stick out from the competition. But sitting next to her with this empty look on her face has me doubting my judgment. And Leo’s, who’s supposed to be the wise one.

  “You’re building a hotel? The one you’ve been dreaming about… you’re doing it?” Her voice is level, no indication of what she thinks.

  I squirm in place on her couch, pulling my arm from the back of it and onto my lap. Nodding slowly, I say, “We start building next week.”

  The corners of her lips slowly tilt up, and she closes her eyes before she opens them again. “That’s fantastic, Sebastian.”

  I exhale and pull her into a hug, my large body suffocating hers. I grip her tightly, holding onto her for dear life. Because that’s what she’s done to me—breathed life back into my empty soul since the first night we spent together.

  Even when we were apart, she was always on my mind, making me smile.

  She snakes her arms around my waist, and we hold each other for several minutes, enjoying the embrace and all the comfort it brings. We comfort each other and the new directions our lives have taken.

  Hopefully, our lanes will merge into one from here on out.

  I pull back an inch from her lips but refuse to give her any more space than that. “Say you’ll be by my side when the hotel opens.” I rest my forehead on hers. “Please be with me. Take me back. I’m so fucking sorry—”

  She takes my face between her hands and kisses me softly, but she pulls back.

  Uneasiness mars her features.

  Like she needs more convincing, but I don’t know what else to say.

  I thought this would be enough, so what do I do now?

  Chapter 55

  Kendall

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your engagement?” I fidget with my cuticles, avoiding his handsome face. I’ve missed it. Missed him. I didn’t realize how much until I saw him at my front door.

  Until I heard his deep voice.

  Until he kissed me.

  The two only in my dreams lately.

  I got in from Alabama this morning with full intentions of driving to Vegas to see him tomorrow, after he was set to be back from Portland.

  And now he’s here. I’m elated he came to find me. That he wants me back and I’m not too late. I wanted to crumble to the floor in relief when I saw him at my door.

  But before I can say all is forgotten, before I can really move forward, there’s still so much I need to clear up, from my end and his.

  He held out on me about his previous engagement for a reason, and I need to know why. I need him to be honest with me. I can’t move forward with someone who hides part of himself from me when all he’s done since I met him is try to open me up.

  I sit back, my shoulders tense, bracing for the impact of his next words.

  To know if he’s over his ex or not.

  He scoots to the side to fully face me. “You were right. I wasn’t over it.” He holds his hand up when I’m about to protest, kick him out—kick him in the shin, even. “Not in the way you think. I’m not still in love with her or anything like that.”

  I relax and let him continue without thoughts of bruising his shin for being in love with another woman while he was with me.

  “Truth is, it took me a long time to admit this, but she was wrong for me. Had she not done what she did, we still would’ve broken up in the end, but I wish it would’ve turned out differently, you know?”

  “No. I don’t understand…”

  He licks his lips, his expression darkening, and scoots even farther forward so he’s sitting on the edge of the couch. “You remember me telling you about my uncle? My mom’s brother, the one who helped raise me?”

  I nod carefully. I don’t like the sudden tension in the room. The pain and discomfort written all over his face make my stomach churn.

  “Joelle left me for him.”

  I cover my mouth with my hands.

  He continues without letting me respond, not that I’d know what to say to the ultimate act of betrayal. “I saw them kissing one day in our parking lot. Outside our home.” He shakes his head, angry but also seemingly at peace. Like maybe he is over it now. “I was so surprised that I didn’t see it before. They must’ve thought I was such a jackass, laughing behind my back. I felt like a jackass too.”

  I take his large hand in mine, trying to offer as much sympathy as my tiny hand can. “You have nothing to blame yourself for. They did this. It’s on them.”

  “They got married the weekend of your sister’s wedding.”

  They got married?

  My mouth falls open, and I cover it again, his outburst that day suddenly making sense. All the pieces falling into place, shining light on this twisted puzzle.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, that I took it out on you. That I projected my fears and distrust onto you.”

  I consider his confession, how there was more to our argument that day. He was angry at me, but also at her. “I’m not her.”

  “I know. And no matter what she did, how she betrayed my trust, I always disliked that she put down my job. Felt like she was always putting me down, even if that’s not what she always meant to do.”

  I tilt my head at him in question, but he waves it off. “The point is, I know you’re not Joelle. I know—”

  “
I didn’t like you being a stripper,” I blurt out.

  He recoils, leaning back on the couch’s armrest and putting distance between us.

  “I want to be honest.” Now I lean toward him, trying to close that distance. Trying to get him to understand. “It bothered me that you got naked in front of other women. But that’s not even what bothered me the most.”

  I fidget again with my fingers, unsure of how to say it. He leans his head down to be eye level with me, forcing me to look at him. To say this to his face and hope he understands. “I didn’t like what my family would have to say about it. I’ve disappointed them with everything I’ve done since I was sixteen.” I throw my hands up. “Quit piano and tennis. Got in fights, mostly with Lauren. But I also punched a girl in the face. Dropped out of college.” He knows most of this, but what he doesn’t know is everything that happened with Adam that sent me spiraling even further.

  So I take a deep breath and lay it all out there. “I chucked a rock the size of a brick at my ex-boyfriend Adam’s car and busted his windshield. He’d just gotten done lecturing me—yes, lecturing—on how to dress. That I look like a slob, and that’s why he doesn’t like going out with me.” I shake my head, embarrassed that I was with a guy for almost a year who said shit like that to me.

  “He broke up with me after that for being ‘a psychotic bitch who wasn’t worth the trouble.’” I exhale, deflated, even more embarrassed that he’s the one who broke up with me and not the other way around. “I took his words to heart, you know. I was in love with him—or so I thought. I loved him and believed him when he called me embarrassing and stupid.” I lick my lips, swallowing my tears. “Because it wasn’t the first time I’d heard these words. I’ve heard them all my life from people in school and Lauren and her friends. I’ve always felt insecure, so when I started dating Adam and he believed the same, I thought it must be true. Especially since he was so well liked by others. I thought I must be the problem.”

  Sebastian reaches for me, but I hold my hand up. If I’m going to get through this, I need to push through in one breath. “I never stopped internalizing those nasty words. They’re always in the back of my head, making me feel like I’m not good enough.” I take a deep breath and meet his gaze. “So I pushed you away, and I’m sorry. You made me feel the opposite, like I’m worth so much, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know how to react to you.”