Not Controllable (Red Eyes MC Romance Series - Book #5)

by Blair Grey

  But the work we were doing was dangerous, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted Holly to be there while I looked for some sign of whether the Unknowns had been involved in this. If I hadn’t seen anything yet, I doubted there was anything there to see. But all the same. If they were the ones behind this, I didn’t want Holly anywhere near the building.

  It seemed that it wasn’t my choice, though. Before I could even respond, she was moving toward the burned-out building and climbing through the remains. “Be careful,” I said sharply.

  “I know,” Holly said, barely glancing back over her shoulder at me. She was brave; I had to give her that.

  “We’ve already covered most of those areas,” I said, pointing with my finger. “But we still haven’t gone through this part very well.” It was the center of the former main room of the building. The burned remnants of the counter were on one end, and the place where the match had been dropped was where I stood. Holly headed toward the counter, and I started scouring the remains of the floor.

  “What happened anyway?” Holly asked. “Do the police know?”

  “Arson,” I said briskly. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I was sure that would be in the paper the following morning. Linda’s story had spread through the business community already.

  “Really?” Holly asked, sounding surprised.

  I shrugged one shoulder. “There’s a lot of criminal activity in Las Cruces, unfortunately,” I told her, careful not to mention that I was part of that criminal activity. “That was part of the promise that the current sheriff made when he got the job. He said he was going to clean up the streets. But in some ways, things seem to have gotten increasingly worse since he’s been around.”

  “Sounds like you’re not a fan of him,” Holly commented.

  “I’m not, not really,” I said tersely. “There’s a lot of corruption in the local police department. It’s honestly no wonder that there’s so much criminal activity in the town when you see some of the shit that they pull.”

  “Huh,” Holly said. “But if this is arson, at least you know that the police will be looking into it, right?”

  “Nah, they won’t be,” I said, shaking my head. “Apparently, they told Linda that if she couldn’t give them any sort of a lead on the guys who might have done this, then they couldn’t help her. They’re not even going to try to look into it.”

  Holly grimaced. “I’m sure it must be hard. If there’s that much criminal activity going on around here, they must be stretched pretty thin.” Then, she grimaced again. “I know that doesn’t make it any better, though. Not when people like your friend are depending on the police to help them out.”

  “Yeah, exactly.”

  We worked in silence for a little while. I couldn’t find anything of interest in the place. Nothing to peg anyone with the crime. If there had been anything, the police must have scooped it up. But even if they had the evidence, they weren’t going to do anything with it, and there was no way that I was going to be able to get my hands on that evidence. It was maddening.

  If the police didn’t want to solve crimes like these, why not leave them up to someone who actually cared? Not that I was advocating for vigilante justice. But I supposed that was sort of what the MC did.

  I hated that. But I also hated that people like Linda would never have closure from the police, that she was going to have to live in fear that as soon as she put up a new business, someone would be back to burn it down again. Because the criminals would continue to be out there somewhere, at large.

  Until Red Eyes took care of things. I just hoped that Braxton and Cameron had been able to find out something through their contacts.

  “There’s nothing here,” Holly called over from behind the counter.

  “Nothing else here either.” I sighed. “Let’s get out of here.”

  When we got to the front, Linda was there waiting. But she didn’t look particularly expectant, and when I told her that there was nothing else, she just nodded. “Thank you again,” she said, taking my hand and pressing her fingers into my palm. She had a glazed look to her eyes that threatened more tears, but she turned away, got into her car, and drove off.

  I grimaced and then turned to Holly. “You okay?” I asked her.

  She shrugged. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m really sorry for your friend. But I didn’t know this place very well.” She made a face. “Or at all. It’s not like I’ve ever been in there, in the short time that I’ve lived here.”

  There was something weird in her expression, and I wondered if she was remembering something from back home in Montana. With the expert way that she had climbed through the burned-out building, I had to wonder whether she had done this before. Maybe that was the change that she and her sister needed. Maybe there had been some disaster; maybe their own house had burned down or something, and that was what had driven them out of Montana.

  If that was the case, then it was even braver of her to offer to help. I gained a new appreciation for her.

  Right now, though, she was just as covered in soot as I was, and I had the sudden desire to strip her out of those clothes. She had been the one who called me earlier and asked if I wanted to do something tonight. And she had shown up here because she had happened to see my motorcycle as she was passing by. She had made it pretty clear that she wanted to see me.

  “Why don’t we go back to my place and we can get cleaned up?” I suggested. “It’s not too far away.”

  “Okay,” Holly said, and I could tell from the heated look that she gave me that she knew I wasn’t just suggesting that we get cleaned up.

  We headed to my place, with me leading the way on my motorcycle for her to follow in her car. We both parked, and there was a clear tension between us as I steered her to the door.

  “I’ve only got the one shower,” I told her apologetically. “But you can take it first.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Holly said, shaking her head. “You’re the one who’s covered in soot. I’m not doing too bad. It’s mostly just my hands and my clothes.”

  “And your face, and your hair,” I said, smiling at her.

  She laughed ruefully. “Yeah, okay,” she said. She cocked her head to the side. “Why don’t we shower together? Conserve water, get both of us cleaned at once.”

  I groaned, heat immediately surging toward my groin. “That sounds like an excellent plan,” I said.

  We headed into the bathroom, and I turned on the spray, adjusting the temperature. By the time I had turned back around, Holly was naked, her clothes discarded in a pile on the floor. She grabbed the hem of my T-shirt, pulling it up over my head, and then her fingers started working on my jeans, her smoldering gaze never leaving my eyes.

  I reached out and cupped one of her breasts in my palm, flicking my thumb over the nipple, hearing the way her breath hitched. This hadn’t been my plan for the night, but I definitely wasn’t complaining.

  She was the flame, and I was the moth, drawn in by her light. I couldn’t keep away from her, even though I knew this was a dangerous time to get involved with someone. If there was another gang fight on the horizon, I had to keep her out of it. That distant knowledge didn’t stop me from pulling her into the shower with me, though, or pressing my lips against hers.

  24

  Holly

  On the one hand, I knew that I shouldn’t head home with Grant. I had already sneaked out, and Vera was going to get suspicious if I wasn’t back tonight. She would have to know that I was with Grant after the conversation that we had had at dinner. I hadn’t been stupid enough to tell her that it was his bike parked outside of the ruined remains of Candy, but she knew that something was up. She knew that it was something to do with Red Eyes.

  But I still didn’t have any information to give to Ryan. Grant had come right out and said that it was arson, and at first, I’d thought that that was something that I could pass on. But the way he’d talked about the rest of it made it clear that the police already knew that it
was arson. They just weren’t going to do anything about it.

  I still didn’t know why Grant was there to help the business owner get her things out of the place. He had said that she was a friend, and I knew that what he really meant was that she had ties to Red Eyes, that she paid her dues like she was supposed to.

  I just didn’t know why the building had been burned down or what Red Eyes was going to do about it. And that was the kind of information that I could take back to Ryan.

  So really, I had no choice but to go home with Grant. To try to get more information from him. That was my job, after all. But I kept remembering what Vera had said at dinner, about not getting too close to him. I remembered how I had felt the last time that Grant and I had had sex. I already knew that my feelings were way too tangled up in this. That I was playing with fire. Having sex again might just be the final nail in the coffin. The thing that really made me hooked on him. The thing that made me ready to throw away my career for him, even.

  But I couldn’t just leave it. The only way to keep my career was to go home with him.

  So I did.

  When we got to Grant’s house, I was surprised to see how small it was. If he were a criminal taking money from all of these businesses, shouldn’t he live in a larger place? And why would a criminal be helping out a distressed business owner whose place had just burned to the ground? More reasons that I just couldn’t believe that Grant was really such a criminal.

  We headed for the shower, and I helped Grant out of his clothes while he gazed lustfully down at me. We stepped beneath the spray, and I ran my hands down his toned abs, watching the water droplets chase down his chest. I pressed my mouth to his skin, trailing my lips along the path made by the water.

  He tugged at my hair, pulling my head back so that he could press his lips against mine, while the water cascaded over both of us. His tongue plunged inside of my mouth as his fingers trailed down my slick body, gliding over my curves and coming to rest at my hips, drawing me even closer to him. I could feel his cock in between us, hard and needy.

  My own hands slipped farther down his body, my fingers wrapping around his length and stroking him until he was even firmer. The water dripping over us, combined with his precum, made my movements even easier, until it was simply a matter of closing my fist around him and pumping his shaft.

  Suddenly, he caught my wrist, forcing me to stop. There was a teasing look to his gaze, and I practically shivered at the thought of what he might have planned. “We were supposed to be taking a shower,” he reminded me.

  “We are,” I pointed out, laughing.

  “We’re not working very hard on getting clean, though,” Grant said, still looking amused. He reached around behind me and grabbed a bottle of body gel off the shelf, pouring some out into his palm. Slowly, he began to draw his hands down my body, tracing circles on my skin, working the gel into a lather. He left no spot untouched, and I trembled at the naked concentration in his gaze.

  He slid his fingers between my legs, and I whimpered, feeling like I could come already, when I hadn’t even had him inside of me yet. He pulled his hands away, giving me that same teasing look, and directed me to stand beneath the spray. I heard him uncap another bottle, and then his hands were back again, this time massaging shampoo into my scalp while I turned my face into the heat of the water.

  I felt practically boneless, utterly relaxed, trusting his hands on me. He was gentle with me, tender, and again, I just knew, deep down, that he couldn’t be a criminal. Not someone like this.

  He caught me by the shoulders and turned me around, kissing me again until I was practically mad with desire. I moaned as he tugged at my lower lip with his teeth. He grinned.

  Then, he reached around behind me and shut the water off. I stared at him in disbelief, wondering if that was really the end of this, if he really didn’t intend for us to bring things to completion. One glance down at his dick showed that he was just as hard as ever, and I couldn’t believe that he didn’t want to thrust into me.

  Had I done something wrong?

  Something of my feelings must have shown on my face because Grant cupped my cheek in his palm and bent to give me a soft, sweet kiss.

  “As sexy as this is, I’d rather have you in a bed,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I want to pound into you hard enough that you forget your own name. I want to fuck you until you scream. And at the end, I want you to climax so hard that you can’t even think of moving again for the rest of the night.”

  I groaned, my knees going weak at the thought of that. I let him steer me out of the shower, where he grabbed a towel and started drying me off with just as much care as he’d shown in washing me before. He quickly toweled himself off as well and then led me into the bedroom, pushing me toward the bed.

  As I lay back, my knees automatically fell open to accommodate him. He climbed on top of me, his hands sliding along my sides, his lips pressing messily against mine. He dragged his thumb across my clit and then delved into my wet core, making me keen with want.

  It seemed that the theme of the evening was teasing me, though, and he moved his fingers slowly, just dragging them down my walls. The feeling was almost overwhelming. My focus zeroed down to just that, to the way my body shivered as I tried to get him to move faster.

  He grinned at me, clearly realizing exactly what he was doing.

  He thrust into me only once before I spilled, my body helplessly clenching and releasing over and over again. I was stuck on the feeling of his cock pushing into me again and again, hitting that spot inside of me, making me cry out over and over, moaning wantonly, my eyes squeezed shut. He slowed again, and this time, rather than protesting, I used it as a chance to catch my breath.

  Grant cupped my cheek with his palm again, and my eyes flickered open. He smiled and found a quicker rhythm with his thrusts, driving me to the edge again. My fingers twisted in the sheets as I met him thrust for thrust, urging him to move faster and harder until his hips were snapping against mine over and over again.

  We came together this time, his seed spurting into me while my walls milked him for the last of his pleasure. I felt like my whole body was hypersensitized, and I couldn’t help twitching as he ran his hands down my sides. I couldn’t even find the strength to open my eyes as he rolled away from me. I was still stuck somewhere in the brilliant white light of pleasure.

  Finally, I was able to force my eyes open, and for a second, I stared at the ceiling. Then, I rolled over toward him, needing the contact. He wrapped an arm around me, lightly kissing my forehead, and I hummed contentedly.

  I should probably leave. I knew that. I didn’t want Vera to start wondering where I was or to ask the questions that I knew she was doubtlessly going to ask. But I didn’t want to move, not yet. I wanted to stay here, in this moment, for all of eternity. If only I could.

  I didn’t want to think about work. I didn’t think I could string together enough of a thought even to ask Grant any of the questions I had. I definitely wouldn’t be able to be subtle. Fucked out like this, I was more likely to be totally blunt, to ask him about Red Eyes and what they were going to do in the aftermath of the arson.

  I couldn’t do that, though. That would totally blow my cover. Best to just stay silent, to doze off, to address those questions another time.

  Grant said something, but my mind had a hard time parsing it. I pulled back, peering up at him. “What was that?” I asked, feeling a certain amount of lucidity return to me when I spoke.

  Grant smiled. “I said I’m thankful to have you,” he repeated.

  He wouldn’t be so grateful if he knew that the me that he thought he knew was really a lie. If he knew that I was an undercover cop. If he knew that I had lied about Montana and everything else. But I couldn’t get into that now.

  I smiled at him, hoping he didn’t see how sad the expression really was, and curled closer to him, burying my face against his side. His arm squeezed more tightly around me for a moment, and I dr
ifted off to sleep.

  25

  Grant

  I didn’t hear more from Braxton or Cameron before the Monday meeting at the clubhouse, which led me to believe that unfortunately they, like me, hadn’t been able to find out anything about who had been behind the arson attack. It was frustrating as anything. There had to be some sort of clue somewhere that we were missing.

  I had to believe that if someone was trying to take on Red Eyes, they would want us to know who they were. They would want to really stake their claim on the area. But instead, they seemed to be hiding in the shadows.

  It made me wonder what they were planning to do next.

  I was surprised to see Ray when I got to the clubhouse. “What are you doing here?” I asked, unable to hold back my shock.

  Ray gave me a tight-lipped smile. “I figured it was about time that I talked to the group,” he said. He nodded at Braxton and Landon, who were sitting on what had always been their couch. “Landon flew in last night.”

  I gave the twins a look to say that I was sorry, even though I knew that that was entirely inadequate. Some of the other noncore members and the recruits were looking around in confusion, like they still didn’t know what was going on. As for me, I started panicking that Ray was going to tell everyone that he had chosen his successor in the club and that it was going to be me. Surely, he would talk to me about it first, though, wouldn’t he?

  Then again, he had talked to me about it. He had told me that he thought I’d make a great leader for the club someday, and I hadn’t outright said no. I had tried to tell him that I thought Braxton would be a better leader, I had tried to persuade him that I wasn’t the best choice. But I had never told him no.

  What exactly was Ray planning on announcing to the group right now? How much was he going to tell everyone?

  Fortunately, Ray cleared everything up quickly. He looked around the group, pausing on each person’s face. “It’s time that I told you all something,” he said. “I’ve seen a decline in my health lately. The doctors have concluded that I have lung cancer.” He paused. “But you can rest assured that I’m going to run this MC until the last day of my life. Nothing has changed.”