How to Catch a Groom

by Jacobs, Holly

  HOW TO CATCH A GROOM

  HOLLY JACOBS

  The characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any similarities to real people, living or dead, is coincidence and not intended by the author.

  Ilex Books 2019

  Originally published

  Harlequin Books

  Copyright © 2002 by Holly Fuhrmann.

  All Rights Reserved

  Reviews

  “Funny and charming, Holly Jacobs’s HOW TO CATCH A GROOM (4) beautifully captures the fear and elation of falling in love. Her heroine is easy to relate to, and her slightly nerdy hero is adorable.”

  ~ RT Bookclub

  “Holly Jacobs gives us a non-stereotypical hero. Readers can’t help but fall for in her slightly nerdy scientist Seth Rutherford, whose logical, practical brain nearly leads him down the aisle with the wrong woman in HOW TO CATCH A GROOM.”

  ~ RT WISH Award

  (Women in Search of Heroes)

  “Logic and emotion both have a place in life... and love. Ms. Jacobs’ story proves that, and it is a delightful one. She is a wonderfully talented author who is making her mark in romance. Why not try a few others of her books as well?”

  ~ Loves Romance—4.5

  “She makes you laugh and cry …”

  ~ Writers Unlimited

  “Outrageous and witty, HOW TO CATCH A GROOM is a delightful story of two people brought together in the most unexpected way. A great read, lots of fun, and wonderfully written, I highly recommend it!”

  ~ Escape to Romance Reviewer—4.5

  “In the end our hero and heroine get together, but Holly Jacob’s makes them earn every sentence and scene to get there. Yes, this story made me laugh and it held my interest as all of Holly’s books do. How to Catch a Groom proved to be a story of love and pure comical entertainment.”

  ~ Women on Writing

  “What a fun book! Escape the ordinary and Catch this pair of funny and charming love stories!”

  ~ All About Romance

  CONTENTS

  REVIEWS

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  EPILOGUE

  Prologue

  “Size matters. Size always matters.” Mrs. O’Malley, the mother of the bride-to-be, gave a little humph for emphasis. “And my daughter won’t put up with something inferior.”

  “Ma’am, I’ve seen it myself, and it’s big enough. Plenty big,” Desi Smith soothed.

  Soothing was part of her job as the wedding coordinator, but she feared it would take a double-strength shot of a strong sedative to truly soothe this woman.

  “Seth, there you are,” Mrs. O’Malley cried, looking past Desi to the blond groom-to-be. “Help me out here, will you?”

  “Sure, if I can, ma’am.”

  “Mom. I’ve told you, call me Mom. Not that I look old enough to be your mother,” she hastily added, patting her perfectly coifed brunette hair. “Now, I want you to tell this girl that size does matter. It matters a lot. Mary Kathryn needs it big. If it’s too small she’ll be disappointed. And I don’t want her disappointed by something that is inferior.”

  Seth Rutherford’s eyes widened and he cleared his throat before he replied slowly, “Uh … just what are we talking about here?”

  Desi tried not to smile as she realized how their conversation might be misconstrued. “We’re talking about the wedding cake. Mrs. O’Malley is afraid it’s not big enough for all the guests. I’ve been reassuring her that it is.”

  “Oh, the cake.” Seth looked relieved.

  “Well, I’m going to go find Mary Kathryn. I think you’re both wrong and she’ll be disappointed tomorrow.” Mrs. O’Malley made her way to the opposite end of The Bayside’s banquet room. Mrs. O’Malley had insisted on only the very best for her daughter’s rehearsal dinner, and Bayside was the best Erie, Pennsylvania had to offer.

  Desi was sure she hadn’t heard the end of the cake issue, but was grateful for the reprieve.

  “Do I know you?” Seth asked unexpectedly.

  “Pardon?” Desi asked.

  “I said, do I know you? You look familiar, but I haven’t been able to place where I might know you from.”

  Desi smiled. “I was wondering if you’d remember. We went to high school together. I was in the Gifted Program, too, though I was a few years behind you.”

  What she didn’t add was that she’d spent a great portion of her sophomore year fantasizing about the sandy-haired senior. Or that she’d cut his picture from the newspaper when he’d won the science fair and hung it by her vanity mirror.

  Heck, she’d even doodled his name and hers together.

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.”

  “I’ve changed a lot. Back then I had braces, was painfully skinny, and had horribly frizzy hair.”

  Thankfully, as she’d let her hair grow out, the fizziness had abated, she’d foregone glasses in favor of contacts, and of course, what was skinny in high school was slender and in vogue as an adult. She certainly wasn’t gorgeous, but she felt she’d improved with age.

  Seth studied her a moment, and finally said, “Sorry. Still drawing a blank.”

  “The Science Fair? My table was next to yours and—”

  “That was you? That’s why you look familiar. I was so nervous. I spent the better part of three months working on that project and when I discovered the missing transistor, I figured I’d lost the competition for sure. But then you handed me one and said it was a spare,” he stared at her for moment, and then added slowly. “Only it wasn’t spare at all, was it? I didn’t find out until later you took it off your own project.”

  “The science fair didn’t mean that much to me.” Desi shrugged. “It was more for my Mom and Dad. Anyway, it was no biggie.”

  “It was very big to me. That scholarship helped me get through college. I’ve always wished I could repay you.”

  “I didn’t do it because I wanted your gratitude.”

  “Why did you do it?” he asked.

  Desi wasn’t about to answer that particular question. After all, he hadn’t known about her crush in high school, so why give it away now?

  She just smiled and said, “I really should get back and check on things in the kitchen.”

  Before she could turn and make her retreat, Seth said, “I never would have known you, even though you looked familiar. You don’t look anything like you did then.”

  Desi smiled. “And for that I’m eternally grateful. High school definitely ranks as my awkward phase.”

  “Awkward?” He laughed. “I never quite outgrew that phase. I’m still awkward. I tripped at the rehearsal when I walked Mary Kathryn down the aisle and I’ve already spilled wine and dinner hasn’t even started. I can’t wait until it’s over. I hate social functions.”

  “That’s why I’m here. To make this as easy on you as possible.”

  “If you can simply keep me from making a fool of myself, I’ll be eternally grateful.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  He smiled.

  Desi remembered that smile from her school days. It hadn’t changed at all. And for some reason, she was glad for that.

  Mary Kathryn, the bride-to-be, gave a little wave from across the room, and Desi pulled herself back to the present. “I think your bride wants you.”

  He turned and waved back to Mary Kathryn. “See you tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder.

  Desi watc
hed as her first official crush walked across the room to his bride-to-be and best man. He remembered the transistor she’d given him after all these years.

  Her small gesture had helped him get a scholarship. She’d rescued him. The thought warmed her.

  Once upon a time, she’d dreamed about being at Seth’s wedding—only then she’d been the bride, not the wedding planner. Desi smiled at the memory. She’d long since outgrown childhood dreams. She had a job to do, and couldn’t wait until the wedding tomorrow. She had a feeling it was going to be something to remember.

  Chapter One

  “She’s hot-to-trot.”

  Desi silently agreed with Phil’s assessment. The she in question was going to trot right out of her own wedding. The bride was about to bolt before the I-do’s were said.

  “Want me to tackle her?” he asked.

  Desi turned and couldn’t help form a small smile at the hopeful look on the photographer-working-as-her-assistant’s face. “I don’t think that will work.”

  There wasn’t a thing either of them could do. They’d watched as the ceremony began, and Desi had felt nervous right from the beginning. The bride-to-be wasn’t behaving right. Nervous was one thing, terrified was another. She watched helplessly as the bride ran right down the long aisle and out the door.

  “Now what?” Phil muttered.

  Desi wished she knew. She’d been coordinating weddings for the last five years and had never had a run-away bride before. She wasn’t quite sure what the protocol was for something like that.

  “I guess we thank everyone for coming?” she halfway asked. She remembered her promise to Seth the night before and added, “And we try to keep the groom from looking foolish.”

  “There’s no we about it, babe. I just snap the pictures and follow orders, you’re the one in charge.”

  She raked her fingers through her long hair, more out of frustration than to push it out of her face.

  Desi discreetly fought through the crowd pressed around the groom. She’d made a promise to Seth and she was bound and determined to keep it. “Seth, do you want me to just send everyone home?”

  “The reception’s paid for, right?” Shannon, the maid-of-honor, sister-of-the-bride, asked.

  “Everything’s paid for and ready.”

  “Everything’s ready but the bride, I guess,” Seth said.

  “No use wasting it, Seth,” the almost-sister-in-law said.

  “I don’t want—”

  “Listen, let’s just show everyone how much class you’ve got,” Shannon pressed.

  “Seth?” Desi asked.

  She didn’t want him to be pushed into anything he didn’t want to do. His back was ramrod straight and tension radiated from his very stance. His expression didn’t give away any of his feelings, but his eyes … there she could see his pain and confusion in those deep blue eyes and wanted nothing more than to make both disappear.

  He shrugged. “Let’s party.”

  Seth Rutherford felt foolish.

  He’d been comforted by just about everyone at the reception, and it hadn’t helped him feel better, it had simply made him more uncomfortable. His mother was so upset that his father had taken her home about fifteen minutes ago.

  Seth didn’t know how to deal with such free-flowing feelings. His parents wore their emotions like garments, changing them at the slightest provocation. He’d never known how to be like that and, truth be told, had never really wanted to. Such wild emotional ups and downs made him nervous. He was the type to think things through, though obviously he hadn’t thought enough about his relationship with Mary Kathryn.

  He took a long swig of beer and grimaced. He didn’t really like the taste, but he was getting used to it tonight.

  He glanced at his watch. He’d lasted two hours at his almost-reception. It was one hour and fifty-nine minutes too long in his opinion.

  He’d done his bit, played the good sport, but he was ready to go. He snuck quietly from the hall into the parking lot.

  Half of Erie seemed to have come to the reception. Who knew he and Mary Kathryn knew so many people? They lived quiet lives. They weren’t exactly people people.

  People people. The term made him want to laugh, but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe he’d had a few beers too many?

  What was he thinking about?

  Oh, Mary Kathryn and how he’d always felt at home with her. Since she’d first joined the faculty at the University, he’d felt a connection. He’d invited her to work on his research project and when she’d said yes, that connection had grown. Balancing his teaching schedule and research interests didn’t leave much time for a social life, even if he’d wanted one. But Seth had always been more comfortable with books and microscopes than with people.

  Until Mary Kathryn.

  She had a brilliant mind, and yes, he was comfortable with her. It’s one of the reasons he’d decided to marry her—they were a good fit. Common interests, common goals. They should be the perfect couple.

  But she was gone.

  He took a healthy swig of his beer. He wasn’t a drinking man, but tonight he was going to make an exception. Although he’d been drinking for the last two hours, it wasn’t enough to numb his feelings, whatever they were.

  How did he feel about Mary Kathryn? That was the question that had plagued him since she’d left. He loved her … of course he’d loved her. He’d asked her to marry him, hadn’t he?

  Or had he?

  It was just sort of an assumption that they’d marry. Come to think of it, he couldn’t even remember picking out a day. However he couldn’t seem to focus on much right now. He felt sort of thick and fuzzy, but not quite numb.

  Well, thick and fuzzy was preferable to sharp and hurting. With two spare cans of beer tucked in his tux’s pockets, he started looking around the parking lot for his car. If he were lucky no one would notice he was gone until he was gone.

  The thought seemed sort of convoluted, but Seth didn’t let it bother him. He was beyond being bothered tonight.

  He was going to just take his thick and fuzzy self home and forget his almost-wedding. He was going to forget women, period.

  He didn’t need a woman messing up his well-ordered life.

  “Seth, can I help you?”

  He jumped at the sound of a voice and turned. Ah, the wedding coordinator. Little Desi Smith. Only she wasn’t little any more. Oh, she wasn’t tall, but she was definitely all grown up.

  “Seth? Let me help,” she said.

  He realized he hadn’t responded. “If I hadn’t sworn off women, I might consider letting you help me, but as it is, I think I’m better off on my own.”

  Even if he was forgetting about women, he could still admire their assets and the tiny brunette standing in front of him had some worth admiring.

  After last night, he’d gone and pulled out his yearbook and found her. Desdemona Smith. If she hadn’t told him, he would have never connected her with his transistor girl of so many years ago.

  Gone was the awkward looking teenager from the picture. The adult version was a real looker. Short, but well packaged. She had miles of dark brown hair. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. It looked silky.

  He was more than a little loaded if he was thinking about Desi Smith’s hair. Seth was an intellectual. He didn’t notice things like that. That he was noticing things about this practical stranger just went to prove he had to get out of here.

  “Do you know where my car is?”

  “Seth, you can’t drive,” she said.

  “Sure I can. Oh, that was the only test I ever flunked, but I passed it the second time around and have been driving all these years without even one accident. Not even a ticket.”

  She shook her head and that long, brown, silky hair rippled against her shoulders. He started to reach out for it, but wasn’t quite drunk enough to do it. Instead he stuffed his hand in his pocket, feeling a spare beer, cold and moist within it.

  “Th
at’s not what I meant,” she said. “I’m afraid you’ve had too much to drink to be driving tonight.”

  “Oh, no, I haven’t had nearly enough. I’m thick and fuzzy, but not quite numb.” No, if he’d had enough, he’d have forgotten about his almost-wedding and he’d be running his fingers through this woman’s hair.

  “Well, you’ve had too much to drive.”

  “I have to leave. I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll make a bigger fool of myself.”

  “Well, I think you’ve handled yourself admirably. Everyone does. But why don’t you let me drive you,” she said softly.

  “I—”

  “You might as well say yes because there’s no way I’m letting you get behind the wheel of a car.”

  “You’re a bossy lady.” Seth didn’t like bossy ladies. He liked quiet women. Partners. Not someone who thought she had to run the show.

  “My friend says I only hired him so he has to listen to me. He says I’m a control freak. A bossy, control freak.”

  “Mary Kathryn was never bossy.”

  “I’m not Mary Kathryn,” Desi reminded him as she started directing him toward her car.

  “I’m glad you’re not. She left me. You’d think that was why I was drinking, but the sad truth of it is, she was right.”

  “Seth, I’m so sorry—”

  “Don’t be. I owe you for getting me out of here.”

  Desi led him to a small VW Beetle that had Engaging Styles painted across the front hood.

  “Just climb in.” She unlocked the passenger door.

  Seth peeked in and backed out. “Oh, no. I take back owing you. That car’s a mess. It’s a health hazard. I’m not going to get in there. I’ll catch some disease or something.”

  “It’s not that bad,” Desi said.

  “Well, I’m not going to fit anyway. I’m bigger than a tiny little elf like you and there’s no way I’m going to fit in there.”

  He sat on the seat and tried to squeeze his legs in. He couldn’t seem to get them to bend enough to fit, so he didn’t make much progress.

  “The physical universe is very specific about its laws,” he continued, “and guys as big as me don’t fit in spaces this small. It’s a matter of mass. I could make an equation for you. Hm, would you say I was a cube, or a sphere? If I’m a sphere you just take a cube of my radius and times it by pi and then by four thirds and …”