Where is Claire?
If she is there
And she is here
Perhaps the answer is nowhere.
She is in the ground,
She cannot make a sound.
Where is Claire?
The doorknob turned, and I shoved the paper down between my breasts. I quickly shut the dresser and sat on the bed as Ezra stepped inside. He raised a brow, but I gestured for him to join me. My heartbeat raced, and my breath sounded louder than normal. I remained convinced he had caught a glimpse of me rushing to the bed.
He sat beside me without question while I tried to fabricate a lie for my presence in his room. This was highly inappropriate and risky, but thus far Ezra had been patient with me. My palms sweat, but I wiped them against my dress. Though I could not prove he had written the letter, he had lost a majority of my trust. For the first time I had evidence to share with someone else that excluded him altogether.
“Clara,” Ezra said with a firm voice. “Seeing is deceiving, and you are living proof of that. Be careful. We have little room for mistake.”
I stood up and looked him directly in the eyes. “I don't know who to trust! Everyone I know is too close to Claire. This mystery would make any sane person go mad!”
“Trust yourself before anyone else. I am doing everything in my power—”
“And how much power do you hold? Is it the same power you held over Claire?” I hissed, trying to refrain from yelling loud enough for someone else to hear. I turned my body away from him, refusing to look another beast of a man in the eyes.
Ezra jumped up and grabbed my arm, as if pleading for me to stay. “You think I’m the mastermind behind her disappearance? I only ever protected her, as I do for you as well.”
“Let me go!”
He released my hand, and I bolted for the door. As much as I wanted to call Ezra out, this was a sensitive matter. I ignored him calling my name—Claire's name—and rushed to my room. Once inside I slammed the door shut and ran to the comfort of my bed.
Tears rolled down my face, and I pounded my fists against the pillow. My heart ached as memories consumed me of my time spent with Ezra. All the moments I felt safe in his company now seemed like nothing more but a lie. Ninomay proved to be full of lies, and the most familiar faces hide theirs behind smiling masks.
Without Ezra by my side, I feared I was entirely alone in this. I did not need him to survive the coming days, but paranoia engulfed my thoughts. Any move I made from this point forward could cost me dearly. At the meeting I planned to reveal the evidence to the Council, but for the time being no strength remained in my body. I lay in bed with my arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. I missed the feeling of being home, though "home" was a foreign concept to me.
***
Though I had fallen asleep for several hours, a servant visited me and stated Jhase would meet me outside. They led me outside the castle and around the back where we came across a small garden and well. The night's breeze was frigid against my skin. I held my cloak close to my body, but the trees swayed and clouds covered the moon.
I waited for Jhase with little comfort in the fact he already admitted his deceit. Various angles suggested Jhase had no reason to lie about my true identity. Mother had spoken of him rarely, and she never suggested anything romantic between the two of them. If she had been with Jhase first, why would she ever leave him? Isaak had been anything but an improvement. No husband, no father for her children, and no hopes of raising a larger family. That was how her latest husband left her.
A stick snapped nearby, and I turned to face Jhase. I had already spent my evening crying more than I wanted to admit. I refused to allow tonight to lead to a larger emotional break down.
Jhase approached me, wearing a white robe with a blue collar. Along with him he brought a lantern, lighting the garden and his wrinkled face. After our previous conversation the sight of him was enough reason for me to vomit. Instead I held it back, knowing he had the answers I wanted. My family's past was never one I had been proud of, but I feared this new information would add to the darkness surrounding my inheritance. He and Mother had carried this secret for years, but for him the burden scarred his wellbeing.
“You must understand my position. I have no reason to trust anyone here, including you. How will I know your story to be true?”
Jhase extended his hands in front of me. His fingertips glowed brightly, and he sketched a figure in the air with them quickly. A clear figure formed, floating in the air. Though the figure was colorless, its details were not forgotten. The illusion was of a young girl with short, wavy hair and a simple dress. She reminded me of the girls I had seen in the family portrait. She held a blanket against her chest with the name “Clara” sewn into the fabric.
“I had a blanket like that as a child…" I said, analyzing it more closely. I could not gather anything more from the figure, and within seconds it vanished altogether. Ezra had explained illusions could be entirely made up or strengthened by a memory.
“If you ever visit the nursery you will find an identical blanket with Claire's name. There is little proof I can offer besides memories and portraits of you as a girl. You were several days old when your mother decided to leave Ninomay forever.”
“But the portraits—”
“Magic can create many things that may never be, but I did it for Claire's sake. She spent her entire life believing she had lost her mother and sister. The least I could do was hang a portrait showing how happy our family would have been. At the time it was the only way I knew how to cope with the loss,” Jhase explained. Though I never heard of an artist who painted dead people, I assumed the right amount of money could convince anyone. It seemed as though he had mourned for years over people who had not truly passed. Despite his explanations, I was more confused than before.
Gazing out at the bushes, I said, “You never searched for us. We struggled every day of our lives. The man whom I believed to be my father showed violence and hatred. Your family has lived amongst the rich, powerful, and beautiful. Mine has suffered with the scars to prove it.”
I pushed my right sleeve down far enough to show one of the numerous scars covering my body. Isaak's reasoning for each one grew cloudy with each passing year. Solvable dilemmas had set him into a rage, but alas I could not show Jhase the scars consuming my back.
Jhase gasped, looking as though he might faint, and I quickly covered it up again. I wished that was my worst one. No one, not even my own mother, knew the full extent of my scars. The burden seemed like too much for another person to understand. Even Mother, who had marks of her own, did not deserve to be overwhelmed by mine. They were hideous chapters of my life. Though Isaak remained locked away in Shadowland, his magic's impact would never leave me. He had chose for his magic to leave permanent marks on my body. Fortunately I was not faced with staring at my body for long periods of time to remember I had once been more of a wall than a human. Isaak only ever used Mother and me as something to hit, but no one would ever harm us again. Alas the details did not seem appropriate to mention to Jhase, who at his age and with his illness could be easily overwhelmed.
“I never wished for you and Nina to suffer as you have. When I heard of a Nina and Clara in Rajoor I had hopes it was you. By the time we sent someone to confirm your identity, it was too late. With Isaak at her side, Nina was untouchable. Someone lied to the Council for years, leading us on to believe Isaak was a family man. How could I rip you away from your second chance when I believed you to be happy? Several Watchers joined Isaak in prison for their betrayal.”
I did not dare tell him who was behind the cover up, though in time the person might be revealed. Paying a Watcher to willingly lie to the Council was probably also worthy of prison time.
Jhase stepped closer to me and held my hand, patting it gently. He released me and held up the lantern, motioning for us to return to the castle.
Whispering, he said, “I’ll send someone to Rajoor to speak with Nin
a. From the reports I hear, you witnessed a young man's arrest. It won’t buy much time, but your stay is temporary. Tomorrow I’ll call the meeting and begin the search for Claire.”
I walked alongside him and listened to the leaves swaying. There was more that needed to be said between us, but I accepted we would gain more opportunities. A lot plagued my mind, and the day ahead of us would not be easy. No one in the Council, save for a few, knew about Claire's disappearance. My only hope was together as a group we could find her in time. The letter I found said “she is in the ground,” but I refused to believe Claire was dead. Though I could not feel her presence, I wanted to believe she was not far from home.
Chapter Thirteen
Gray Lines
By sunrise the entire castle awoke and prepared for the Council meeting. I assumed Jhase sent someone to inform the Council members after our discussion last night. The younger servants, who appeared to be teenagers, often carried pieces of parchment with them. I changed into a white gown and wore a blue cloak along with it. This seemed like appropriate attire for the meeting as everyone in the Council wore their cloaks often. Today held the possibility of newfound answers, and I prayed the reflection in the mirror would soon be Claire herself. Too many outcomes remained for her fate, but I hoped more input into her disappearance would uncover the truth. My cloak contained pockets, and I placed the mysterious letter inside one of them. The first letter remained in Ezra's possession.
Exiting the room, I stopped as I closed the door behind me. Ezra remained close to me, and I wanted to speak with him about yesterday's events. It had been unfair for me to sneak into his room and lie about my intentions. How could I expect honesty from Jhase and the others when I neglected it? It was crucial I reveal my findings with Ezra before the meeting. Despite my feelings yesterday, I could not easily diminish our relationship altogether. He gave me a fair chance from the first time we met; I owed it to him. If the Council found out about my behavior they would not tolerate it.
Voices entered into the hallway, and I decided against checking Ezra's room. With luck I would run into him before the start of the meeting. Even with this dilemma splitting us apart, I planned to tell the Council everything. Whoever was responsible for Claire's demise would have reason to end me after today.
I walked down the hallway alone, listening to chatter further down the hall. Two men walked in the direction of the meeting room, and I assumed them to be new councilors. I was familiar with six of the eight councilors, but introductions would rely solely on someone else's lead. Though the numbers seemed to be in my favor, the Council voted on everything together. They were a united front, and I needed everyone's heart in the task ahead of us. I could not afford to waste another day, and neither could Claire.
“Good morning, my sweet. Beautiful as always,” a familiar voice said. I jumped and caught my breath at the sight of Declan, who snuck up behind me. He joined in walking alongside me.
“Have you seen Ezra?”
He rubbed his chin. “No, but he never fails to arrive on time. Today’s an important day. I’ll support you no matter what anyone in that room says.”
I continued onward and stared ahead as if his words held no significance. Declan's change in attitude might be exactly what we needed to inch closer to Claire. Though he seemed unconcerned for Ezra, I could not contain the secret to myself. I needed a second opinion before facing the Council, even if it meant losing my chance to speak with Ezra. While everyone relied on me I also could not walk this path alone. Forming relationships proved to be dangerous, but on my own I would be walking in circles. One of Claire's allies might be a villain, but until the unmasking I needed to start somewhere.
Quietly I said, “Trusting anyone has become nearly impossible, but... I found a letter in Ezra's jacket yesterday. The letter was a riddle, and it claimed Claire to be dead.”
“You think Ezra did this? That’s a dangerous theory to mention to the Council.” Declan pulled me to the side with our faces toward the wall. He leaned in closer as he balled his fists. “Ezra is like a son to Jhase. He has been close to this family since he and Claire were children. I can’t live in a world where he is responsible…”
“You don’t think it wise to mention the letter at all?” I asked, gritting my teeth. He did not seem to grasp the importance of the letter, but I dared not reveal it while we stood in plain sight.
He motioned for me to walk with him again, and he remained close to me. “Give them everything you have, but don’t lift a finger at anyone in that room. If you insult them we’ll never have their support.”
I nodded slowly as we passed by the staircase. The doors to the meeting room remained ajar, and I clenched my jaw at the sight of it. Declan touched my hand gently and offered a faint smile. I relaxed, but nothing could stop the tension building inside of me. I wanted to explode, and I feared in front of the entire Council I might lose control. The hardest job awaited me today, and I did not feel as prepared as I had previously. A part of me wished I had never found the second letter. At least then my relationship with Ezra would not be shattered. Instead I headed directly into the fire with the risk of being burnt.
We entered the room, instantly being greeted by Jhase. He sat at the front of the table, and two other men sat to the left of him. Declan directed me to our seats in the back of the room. A total of four extra seats filled the back, and Declan and I sat together. He assured me it was normal for Claire to attend meetings, even though she was not officially a part of the Council yet.
“The man closest to Jhase is Dorian Lagos. He's the one we saw at the party. Next to him is Alec Christofis, Gemma's former husband. They were married for two years before their divorce,” Declan whispered.
I studied both men carefully. Dorian, though older than the men I met thus far, appeared the most muscular man at the table. A long staff, decorated with Greek symbols, leaned against his chair. I recognized him as Gemma's companion during Declan's party. Ironically he sat closest to her ex-husband. Red hair hung over Alec's oval face, and his violet eyes flickered across the table. I wondered how Gemma ended up involved with another man within the Council. More footsteps entered the room, and I scanned the new faces as they joined us.
“The pregnant woman is Alesia Andreou. Though the most recent addition to the Council, she is well past her trial stage. She's expected to deliver any day now,” Declan explained.
A female mage was most vulnerable during pregnancy. Though Ezra had briefly mentioned her earlier, my jaw dropped slightly at the sight of her up close. Mages during this time could not use magic, and I wondered how she could leave home when this close to labor. Perhaps the rules did not apply for a woman who was also a councilor. Nonetheless, she seemed the least likely to be accountable for Claire's disappearance. Pregnancy was tiring on mages, and it required patience and caution. Using magic was considered a danger to both the mother and unborn child. If she played any part in Claire's disappearance she did it with help.
Gemma entered next, walking directly to where Declan and I sat. I did not know where her mind was at and how much information she knew. Declan's leg shook upon her appearance.
“How is your son?” I asked.
She shook her head. Her eyes were swollen, and her hair was pushed back in a messy braid. “Finally overcoming his fever, I believe. Are the two of you the reason behind this meeting? Jhase's servants visit at such early hours…”
Declan winked. “Would you have it any other way?”
She glared at him and turned around quickly, approaching her seat. I realized we had left her out of our plans entirely. Though five seats had their owners, we waited for Ezra and the Pavlou family. Declan had seemed certain Ezra would be here on time. Now he was late, and I did not know what to make of this. Was Claire's closest friend behind a sick plot to destroy Jhase's family? I had yet to learn about who took over as head councilor if everyone in the Kanelos family died. Perhaps this had been a move made out of lust for power.
&nb
sp; Jhase stood up, and the final pair, Bellona and Elias, walked inside and took their seats. The room stirred as people settled in their seats and waited for Jhase. I stared at the empty seat to his right where Ezra belonged. Where was he, and what could possibly hold him from this? As much as I wanted to search the hallway and Ezra’s room, my time to leave had long since passed. Bellona stood up, closed the doors, and rejoined the table.
“It seems Ezra is running late, but I’m beginning today without him. We have two topics on the agenda today. First, a trial. Despite the other urgent matter, this man also deserves as much attention. Alec, if you’ll please tell the Watcher we are ready.”
Alec obeyed and left the doors open while he sought out the Watcher. I peeked around the door and gazed down the hallway, but I did not see any sign of Ezra. This was another important moment where I could not afford to let my emotions show. Returning my attention to the room, I noticed Declan had not budged. He was unaffected by Ezra’s absence, and Jhase too acted nonchalant toward the fact. Declan acted like nothing would stop him from being late to a meeting. What stopped him now?
In less than a few minutes Alec returned. The Council was best known for their trials to determine criminals’ fates. Even so, I wondered how long this criminal had been awaiting his sentence for Jhase to start with him first. No matter his crimes I doubted he was more important than finding Claire, but the Council had rules and responsibilities to uphold. Alec returned to his seat while a large and muscular Watcher approached with a young man at his side. I stared in horror at the sight of Ren, who remained in cuffs from his arrest. He did not glance in my direction, but I squeezed Declan’s hand tightly.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered through a painted smile.
The Watcher led Ren to the front of the room, though at a distance from the table, for everyone to see. Ren scanned the room, but his eyes locked with mine almost instantly. I tried to remain calm and maintain a blank expression, convincing myself he would not recognize me. The only noticeable difference between Claire and I was our hair color, but I prayed it would be enough. Instead Ren opened his mouth, and my skin turned deathly white.
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