“I told them I would be fine. That I had it under control.” I rolled my eyes. “Three didn’t sound like a lot.”
“I don’t suppose I can wake the birthday girl to give her these balloons?” Gray inquired.
“Do so at your own peril,” I warned. I already knew him well enough not to waste my breath. He wouldn’t be able to help himself.
I watched as he crept toward the door and poked his head in. When I heard him shout, “Daniels, what the fuck?” I realized I had left out a key factor in my retelling of the day’s events.
“Dude, you shout again and wake this little girl up, I’m telling Coach,” I heard Cooper angry-whisper to Gray, then watched as Parker’s eyes grew as big as saucers.
“Is that—”
“It’s a long story. I invited him after the game. He’s been an amazing help today,” I told her before Grayson joined us with fury in his eyes.
“What the fuck is Cooper Daniels doing in your living room? And why the hell is Jessie asleep on his fucking chest?” he demanded.
“I invited him.”
“Do you not know that he’s a convicted felon out on goddamn parole?”
“I never thought you were so goddamn judgmental,” I whisper-yelled back at Gray, suddenly grateful I was an only child for most of my life.
“Who made Jessie’s cake?” Parker asked me, obviously trying to change the subject.
I was tempted to ignore her like a stubborn child, wanting to tell Gray to get the hell out of my house if he had issues with Cooper being there. Unfortunately, as I watched her eyes get wider and wider, taking in the three-tiered chocolate mud cake masterpiece with decorative swirls and cascading icing, I interrupted Gray’s drama and said, “Oh stop staring. I didn’t make it, so it won’t poison anyone. Cindy Shu brought it for me.”
“Cindy Shu from the Chinese takeout place on Johnston street?”
“That’s right.”
“Millie, did you get your Chinese takeout lady to cook your daughter’s birthday cake?”
“Yep.”
“And you see nothing weird with that?”
“Babe, I don’t think the cake is the weird shit we should be questioning Millie on right now,” Gray muttered, clearly wanting to get to the sleeping giant in my lounge room.
Seeing as I had no idea how to handle Gray’s questions about Cooper without getting pissed off, I decided to let Parker know, “It’s no weirder than when Cindy brings over soup.”
“She brings over soup?”
“Well, if we don’t come by on Wednesdays, she knows Jessie or I must be sick, so she usually drops by soup if she can.”
“Mill, the fact that you’re on a first-name basis with all the fast food owners and waitresses in your area is incredibly strange.”
“I’m loved.”
“You’re desperate,” Parker laughed.
“Can we please get back to the fact that there is a known felon sitting with my niece in the other room?” Gray almost yelled, his fists clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white.
“It’s nice to see you too, Grayson,” Cooper greeted from the doorway. How he managed to still look menacing with his face and beard covered in lipstick failed me. All the pleasure I had witnessed in his face hours earlier as he declared Jessie the princess of the pillow castle, and the fear when she decided she wouldn’t watch the movie we put on unless she sat in his lap, was gone.
Staring at Grayson was the exact guy Grayson didn’t want to be around his niece.
The guy I was meant to stay away from.
An angry ex-inmate who was looking to punish someone for fucking up his life.
COOPER
“WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE?” I asked.
I already knew I was the problem. I was waiting for this moment, when all the shit I had done for this guy, all the problems I was now facing, came back to bite me in the ass. I didn’t get glory and happy moments—I got problems, one of which seemed to be holding pink balloons but clearly wished he had knives in his hands. The idea that we would work together to figure out a way to keep Flash safe was fucking ludicrous. I could already tell he was a goddamn prick to guys from the other side of the tracks. Got rid of his dirtbag dad, had a fancy college education, and he was suddenly better than other bastards with deadbeat dads.
“Just wondering what you were doing here. A little girl’s birthday party just isn’t a place I expected to see our resident team bad boy,” Grayson stated. “Rumor has it the only party you like is at Poison.”
I watched Flash flinch and wanted to punch the asshole. I knew she kept her late-night job a secret. I also knew she hated it, put on her costumes and, just like all those times she tried to push me away, pretended she was someone else. No one, not even some asshole I decided wasn’t a big enough asshole to shatter, would make her feel less for putting in her time there.
“Wasn’t aware this was a private party, but if that’s the case, I’ll just be on my way. But you should know, going to Poison isn’t an insult. It’s a good bar with good workers. You want to insult me, try and talk about something I’m actually ashamed of, like helping you win the last game.” With those parting words, I looked Flash in the eye, nodded, and made my way to the door.
I felt her small hand grab my shoulder as I was opening the door.
“Thanks for today,” she whispered. “I’m sorry about Gray. He’s just protective of me and Jessie. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him since the game. Once I explain that we’ve agreed to help each other, he’ll probably be nicer. He only needs to know that your criminal past isn't what he’s used to. It’s just his dad and his brother—”
“Babe, don’t worry about it. Today was fun.” I chuckled when she raised her eyebrow. “Okay, fun might be pushing it, but your kid is cute. You did good babe,” I murmured softly.
“Thanks. I think so too.” She smiled.
“You work tomorrow night?” I asked her, not letting the anxiety of leaving her enter my voice.
“Yeah,” she said before looking behind her. “I’m a good four months away from having enough to quit. I usually work every night, unless I go to a game or need to watch Jessie.”
“I’ll be there, then,” I told her before walking out and leaving the boy I was meant to hurt, the girl I was meant to forget, and the little girl I should never have even known existed behind.
Wondering how the fuck I was going to protect them all.
She was dressed like an angel, in white feathers and white lingerie. Her arms languidly moved from her body to her breasts with an intimacy that captivated and enticed. With one foot planted on the stage, the other slowly moved until it pointed to the sky with perfect precision. It was as if she wasn’t human. On that stage, she was without flaws or imperfections. She sparkled.
I was normally worried that the shouts from the audience might snap her concentration. That with one wrong step she would fall and hurt herself. I usually braced myself, ready to jump up and grab her stubborn ass before someone else could touch her.
But the music went on and on about seeing angels.
For the first time, I was fucking transfixed.
With her movements, the lyrics, and those goddamned feathers, I was starting to believe in something I’d always thought was full of shit—that God existed. I thought about all the things I’d seen and wondered if it’d all led to that moment. That there was a bigger plan and I needed to follow it so I could see this. Protect this. One of his angels.
The risk I was taking by not walking away was idiotic. And still I couldn’t bring myself to do the right thing.
When she dropped her feathers and fully revealed those tiny silver tassels sparkling on her tits before she strutted off the stage, my pulse jumped and my cock twitched. I watched her walk toward me still in costume. She had only approached me once after a show to give me our damn art assignment; usually she headed straight off stage after the final reveal, to change, to leave, to pretend she was never there. I u
sually finished my drink, calmed my ass down, then followed her home on my bike before I headed back to my apartment, where I then texted her about class or her girl.
There was never talking at the club. No acknowledging that she was doing this for the money and that I was sitting there to safeguard her. If I had to arrive late because of work, she didn’t even nod at my presence. She knew I would come, and I knew we would leave together. We didn’t need words or gestures or explanations.
Her walking to me told me something was up. She wasn’t doing any of our normal routine, and it was putting me on edge. When she got close enough, I reached out and stroked my finger along the thin white feathers she carried. Soft. Fragile. Tempting. “You still working?” I asked hopefully, keeping my eyes on hers. “This part of the routine?”
“No, I’m done,” she said quietly as I heard a new girl start her routine on the stage and distract the audience. “I just wanted to come over before you leave. I’ve got this party I’ve been invited to tonight, and I thought I’d see if you wanted to come with me. I’m just going to change into jeans. Then I was hoping you wouldn’t mind leaving your bike here and maybe we can take the truck over together.”
“Babe, Gray gonna be there? Because he seemed pretty pissed to see me yesterday. Not sure if he’d be happy to see me again.”
“Tonight’s different. This party, it’s at Marissa’s other bar called Lucky. I wouldn’t ask, but it’s important. I’d feel better if I didn’t have to go alone. Gray won’t say anything to either of us. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I just . . . I just need some company. Can we maybe just do this without a deep and meaningful discussion?”
“Done. Get changed. I’ll meet you out by your truck after I cover my tab.” I watched as she walked back behind the curtain and worried for a moment that maybe she knew more than she was letting on. If she was given a photograph of her own.
Maybe I didn’t have time to sit at a fucking bar and watch her.
Maybe this fucking song and dance was so hypnotizing because it was the last time I would see her again.
MILLIE
It was Nathan's birthday. The day after Jessie’s.
The irony wasn’t lost on any of us. And no matter how exhausted I was, how late I had to work, or the lies I would have to tell about where I’d been, I went to the party Marissa threw for him at Lucky's. I felt I owed it to him to smile, to cheers, to listen to the others reminisce and tell their stories. But it was too much. Last year I felt as if I was drowning, hearing about all the times they got to spend with him, the memories they got to share, the jokes they could tell. I stood around Lucky’s nursing a single drink and each story hit me like a wave, reminding me about the person I’d missed out on. And with each crushing blow, I struggled to breathe and prayed that at some point I would be able to catch my breath.
I had one evening with Nate.
One.
We may have talked of the future, but we never had a chance to live it.
And we never would.
The older Jessie got, the harder that fact was to swallow.
I forbid Tahnee from bringing Nate’s birthday up around Jessie. It was my gift to her while she was young. I was suffocating, but I gave my little girl peace for as long as it would last before the truth eventually stripped the joy of the day away as she got older.
Just the thought of the night ahead was overwhelming. Coupled with the fact that I knew this evening made my desire to speak with a ghost worse. I would eventually go home after the party sad and alone. I would then spend my night talking to the Nate inside my head, wishing him a happy birthday. Building memories that didn’t really exist.
I didn’t talk about how hard this night was for me. I figured they knew, but I never asked for help, a night off, or company.
Until now.
I figured no one understood how I felt. But after watching Cooper let me help him to forget his pain on game night and focus on something other than his ghosts, I decided that maybe he could help me do the same. Maybe sharing this part of my life with someone else would bury the emotions that seemed to rise up and choke me when I had to witness the things Nate missed out on.
I swirled my key ring around my index finger until I saw Cooper walk out of Poison and make his way to my truck. He looked way too tempting in his worn black denim jeans and plaid T-shirt. I wasn’t sure if he was the answer to my problems, but I also knew this night couldn’t get any worse.
When we arrived at Lucky’s, I felt like I’d made a huge mistake.
I ignored everyone's confused faces as we crossed the room. We weren’t even holding hands, walking in with about a foot between us, and yet I felt as if the bartenders, waitresses, and guests were all watching us make love. Analyzing how deep our connection was and struggling to decide if they thought my coming with someone was in some way spitting on Nate’s memory.
I caught Marissa’s eye in the crowd, watched as her eyebrows rose to the ceiling when she noticed the mountain of man shifting closer to me. Instead of passively watching like the rest, Marissa walked straight toward us. She always looked a bit of a rock star to me, the old Ramones T-shirt that hung off her shoulders, the ripped jeans and her strawberry blonde curls wildly framing her face always reminding me of modern-day Stevie Nicks.
I’d always wished to know what Nate thought of her. Gray adored her; she was basically his best friend. And even though I knew she was a pretty serious businesswoman and my boss, owning not only this bar but half of Poison, her age and violet eyes always made her seem approachable. Parker tended to keep her distance. They’d bonded after Nate’s death, but I think Marissa’s blunt manner and overprotective mama bear attitude toward Gray was something Parker found intimidating.
As for me, since Marissa and I seemed to be keeping a lot of each other’s secrets these days, we’d gotten close. When I could hear her over the pulsating music, I suddenly wasn’t sure if that friendship would change, going the way of our audience’s facial expressions. It was clear the verdict was out and most in the room felt Cooper’s presence this evening by my side was in fact the rudest thing I could’ve done.
Fuck.
“Is this the guy my mother keeps complaining about to me? The one she tells me is scaring customers away and acting like your bodyguard at Poison?” Marissa asked when she reached us.
“Yep,” I replied, not breaking eye contact.
“Good. I’m glad you have someone looking out for you. Anyone gives you shit in here for this, you let me know and I’ll toss their asses out. Tonight isn’t about petty fucking people,” she told me before catching the distressed gaze of her overwhelmed bartender. “Look, I’ve got to go deal with something, but I’m serious. Even if Gray is the one being petty, I’ll toss his ass out. Find me at the end, yeah? Bring your boy. We’ll all do shots together. Nate would’ve fucking loved that. Hell, you want the keys to the storeroom to bump uglies, he’d have gotten a laugh out of sticking it to all these people, so the room’s yours. Don’t run off tonight.”
“I won’t. Go run your club. We’ll drink at the end.”
“Flash, thinking maybe you need to tell me what we’ve walked into yeah?” Cooper mumbled from beside me as he took in our surrounding critics and Marissa’s words. “Nate’s your baby daddy, right?”
“That would be him.”
“And from the angry looks people are throwing me, I’m guessing this party is about him?”
“Right again.”
“Babe, you want me here, I’m here. But I can’t promise that if one of these dickheads comes up to me and decides to voice their fucking opinion, I won’t stop from punching them in the face.”
“Not asking you to. I don’t really know all these people. They were his friends, never mine. They only know me as the mother of his kid. Maybe they all assumed I would be his grieving widow forever. Maybe they think two years is too soon to bring a guy to his birthday party, imagining
some sort of love triangle.”
“Then I’m guessing you and I are going to need drinks to get through this party. You want to tell me what you want and wait here while I tackle the bar, or you want to come with?”
“I’ll wait here, and if you could grab me a vodka and soda that would be great,” I told him as I checked out the room. I barely noticed when he left me and maneuvered through the crowd. I was transfixed, staring at the small birdcages that hung from the ceiling. “Dracula’s college experience” was what Parker used to call the place when she’d first started working there. I saw it differently.
With its waitresses in tight leather pants, the walls painted black, and silver counter tops and cages, it was a dominatrix’s dream home.
Both scary dungeon and tempting play pen.
That, I wasn’t sure if I was the one being whipped, or if I would finally be in control.
COOPER
“SHE BROUGHT YOU HERE?”
I turned my head to the right to find Grayson Waters staring at me from a stool against the bar. He was nursing a beer and his eyes were sunken in. Instead of the hostility he’d projected the day before, he seemed exhausted. His stare seemed to be looking for something when it took in my shoes, my clothes, and my hair. Looking for someone. And instead of being angry, now he just appeared disappointed. Sad.
“Yeah,” I answered, not giving him too much. I finally got how shit went down. I knew what had Grayson Waters, star quarterback of the Herons, a fucking mess at a college bar.
With the information Tony had tried to funnel to me, accompanied with Flash’s stories, I had finally worked out the timeline and all the players in this drama. Flash got knocked up by Grayson’s brother, Nate, their fucking father got his kid killed with his associations, and now I was fucked because I got myself messed up with not only a dangerous fucking con artist but his goddamn family.
Flash and I were both being dealt shitty hands.
I figured Gray here, once he snapped out of his grief, would eventually have his suspicions. Not too many prisons close to town. Wouldn't take a lot of research to track down the name of the one that his dad and I shared.
Flash (Penmore #2) Page 17
