I just didn’t want it to get back to Flash how fucking unlucky she was. I noticed how her body tensed and she started rocking a new mask of indifference as she walked in the club’s doors. It was as if she was ready for a full-body assault. To be seeing the guy who shared a cell and was friends with the guy who’d put her daughter’s father in the ground would probably have her fixing a mask that never came off.
I was shocked to hell when I heard Gray murmur, “Good. She usually finds this party pretty hard.”
“No shit,” I grumbled. I didn’t want to be friends with this guy. I didn’t want a bonding moment.
“We tell her she doesn’t have to come every year. She didn’t even know him that long,” he continued while staring at his beer. “But she always does.”
Before I had a chance to reply, one of the waitresses walked up and put her hand on Gray’s shoulder. It wasn’t until she asked him, “You behaving yourself?” that I realized the waitress was Flash’s best friend. The little brunette who usually reminded me of a librarian. Except that night she was in leather pants, a tight black tank, and knee-high black boots. I almost laughed out loud. Surely if Gray was okay with his girl walking around in this getup, Flash would be able to talk about working at Poison. Her best friend might not be wearing pasties on her tits, but her outfit left nothing to the imagination. She also wasn't some angel able to throw stones at the devil in that outfit.
“Yeah, babe,” Gray responded. “No need to worry. Go back to work. I’ll still be here waiting for you when your shift is over. Still think it’s silly you’re working tonight.”
“You know working always makes me think of Nate. I’m only on for another fifteen. Keep playing well with others,” she replied softly before pressing her lips against Gray’s cheek. When she turned toward me, I was still working out how I might convince Flash to tell them about her job at Poison. “I’m glad she brought you here, Cooper. I think I’ve seen her smile more these last few months since meeting you than she has in the last two years. If she hadn’t showed up with you, I think I might’ve sent Gray here to find you. Our girl needs less pain in her life.” With a final warning look directed at Gray, she headed toward the bartender to grab a tray of beers and disappeared into the crowd.
“Damn it,” I muttered, humbled by the little librarian turned vixen. I knew after that angelic dance and now Parker’s words pushed into the corners of my mind that I needed to make the hard choice.
Parker was right. Flash deserved peace.
She was also fucking wrong. I was only bound to bring pain into Flash’s life.
When she walked away to serve some frat boys, I turned to Gray, decision made.
“We’re going to need to talk.” My no-nonsense tone snapped Gray out of his trance. “You want to wait until the end of this damn party, that’s cool, but we need to talk tonight.”
“This about the team?” he asked with the strength of a captain pushing through his grief to help a teammate.
“Wish it was about the game. Unfortunately, this shit has to do with your old man and the people we both need to protect.”
“What the fuck?” Gray gritted out, his face changing from serious to pissed off. Before he could get out of his seat and drag me outside, I felt a light touch on my shoulder.
“They’re not serving you?” Flash looked ashamed at the bartender and then Gray. I’d forgotten about our drinks. I had left her standing on her own for too long that she came looking for me. It wasn’t until I took a look at the guys behind the counter that I realized she was right. They were watching me with hard eyes. They weren’t overcrowded with customers. Some were even wiping down glasses behind the bench. However, with the way their eyes shifted from the main bartender to me, it was made clear that they had been ordered not to serve me at this bar.
“Maybe I made the wrong choice tonight. I can’t control the fact that some people aren’t very nice,” Flash whispered, taking another look at the glances people were sending my way. The guilt I heard eating at her voice and destroying her mask had me put my plans on hold.
“Later,” I muttered to Gray before grabbing Flash’s hand and leading her onto the crowded dance floor.
“Count on it,” I heard him reply before setting out to give Flash the peace she deserved right now.
Before I gave her the silence she needed from me to be peaceful forever.
MILLIE
The overwhelming pressure to please everyone and talk to Nate dissipated.
I was too shocked.
Cooper Daniels, badass and the latest Heron superstar, was actually leading me to the dance floor while a slow love song drifted from the speakers.
When we began dancing, I nearly tripped over my own feet. Thankfully he didn’t start leading me into anything complicated. We just swayed. I liked thinking that no one could see us among the couples crowding the dance floor. He pressed me tightly against his body and my mind went blank. My arms on his shoulders, his hands wrapped around my waist, I used the last of my remaining energy to keep my head up and stare into his beautiful irises.
I knew this was why I’d invited him, to be reminded that there could be beauty in my life.
I didn’t need to focus on all the ways fate could be cruel and vicious.
“You don’t need to worry about anything, babe," he whispered in my ear. “It’s just you and me. Strangers who don’t need to pretend with each other. And if that doesn’t convince you, remember you promised that I get to protect you, so no one gets to make you feel like crap tonight without having to go through me.”
My eyelids felt heavy, tears pooling. The act I’d been trying so hard to hold on to slipped away.
He gave my waist a slight squeeze and I let go, fell limp against his chest, head on his shoulder.
He was strong enough.
He held me up.
He held us both up and kept us dancing to Cat Power crooning about the sea of love.
"You tell me when you want me to stop, go back to the others," he said softly before brushing his lips across my hair. “You’re calling the shots here.”
I just nodded, then held on tighter, letting him rock me gently like the sea.
For the first time in two years, I was drifting instead of drowning. I was swaying with the current. I wasn’t afraid of going home and getting dragged under.
I felt like parts of me had been split into pieces and by holding on, he kept me from falling apart. I thought it helped knowing that he felt as if pieces of himself were missing as well. We couldn't fix each other. It would be impossible. There had been too much damage. Yet by holding each other's pieces tightly enough together, it almost felt like we were whole again.
And almost was more than I’d had before.
It was everything.
COOPER
When the song ended, Flash lifted her head and smiled at me. I took a breath and felt it catch in my throat. Damn, she’s gorgeous. The feeling I’d had since the first day I ever saw her, that she was the best thing I might ever aspire toward, fell like an anchor into the pit of my stomach. There wouldn’t ever be enough dances with her to make up for what I was giving up, but I had to let her go and protect her the best way I knew how.
“I’m going to go find Marissa and Parker to say my goodbyes, and then I think I’m ready to call it a night,” she murmured softly to me.
“Works for me,” I muttered as if the words didn’t sting leaving my mouth.
“Meet outside in fifteen?”
“Deal.”
I watched as she threaded through the crowd before I headed back toward Gray. As soon as I caught the attention of the star quarterback, I noticed him get to his feet, clearly desperate to find out what the hell was going on. I gestured with my head to the front door. When I stepped outside into the cool air, the distant sounds of traffic almost made me feel like this could be any other day.
“Okay, what the fuck was that in there about my dad? And what the hell does that have to do with Mil
lie?” Gray demanded the moment he exited the club.
I led us a few steps away from the doors before replying, “I was Tony’s cellmate.”
“Shit. And now you’re hooking up with Millie, who might be the one person who has more reason to hate that guy than me. You don’t want me to tell her, do you?”
“That’s not it. I don’t expect Millie to ever find out.”
“Bad choice, dude, seeing as those sorts of secrets always fucking come out.”
“I’m not going to be keeping the secret from her. I’m going to be staying away altogether. I promised your dad that I’d help him get a little retribution—”
“You did what?” Grunted Gray, clenching his fists as if he was about to take a swing at me. “You screwing with Flash for some sick retribution?”
“Fuck no. If you let me fucking finish, I was going to tell you that I had agreed to start a damn brawl when I finally got on the field. I was meant to ensure that you got hurt and lost your exciting future,” I told him, keeping a close eye on the new stance of his body. “Dude, you want to take a swing at me, I’ll let you get the first one in. I deserve it for being so damn stupid. But that won’t fix the shit we’re dealing with, and that isn’t what I brought you out here to tell you.”
He grunted at my words, letting me know he was following what I was saying but wasn’t going to hug me anytime soon.
“Seeing as I didn’t do jack to you the other day on the field, or anyone else, I think your old man worked out that I’d seen through his bullshit.”
“Am I supposed to thank you for that?”
“Nah, man, what you need to realize is your dad’s a conceited fuck, and before I even got back to my place, I had a duffel bag of photographs at my doorstep. A fucking warning about who might get hurt if I don’t hurt you in our next game.”
“Photos of Millie?”
“Yeah, she was one of them. I also have these girls I went through foster care with. Their photos filled the bag to the brim. At school, at work. Beth is only thirteen, and Lizzie’s eighteen and just got approval to be her foster mom. I can’t bring this crap to their door. But I won’t attack you on the field and fuck with Millie’s life either.”
“So how the hell do you plan on dealing with the damn warning? My father’s connections are dangerous.”
“I’m going to leave town tomorrow morning, go protect Lizzie and Beth. I need you to stick close to Millie. Move in if you have to. I don’t turn up to our game tomorrow, you and I both know I’m getting thrown off the team. Wouldn’t be able to do shit to you even if I wanted to. Everyone will be pissed for a while, but the girls will be safe and we’ll wait it out until the other crap blows over.”
“That’s your big plan? To leave town?”
“You know something better? I’ve gone through everything I could do. Fuck, I should’ve left already. Unless you’ve got a brighter idea, I need to get to Lizzie tomorrow.”
“You’ve given me about five minutes to think this shit over.”
“I got the package after last week’s game. They didn’t leave a due date, but I figure if I don’t do shit tomorrow, then I might not be finding just photos on my doorstep”
“Fuck. Give me a few hours. Let me talk to Stars and get back to you.”
“Stars?”
“Parker.”
“Hell no. We aren't bringing any more people into this,” I order. “I do not need your girlfriend’s safety on my conscience as well.”
“Brother, you think I’d tell my girl and put her in unnecessary danger? You’ve got me all wrong. My girl is the smartest person I fucking know. Hell, she's the mastermind behind getting my dad behind bars in the first place. If we can work out how to fix this shit without costing the team a game, give Millie the only person who has made her smile in two years, and maybe put the screws to my dear old dad, then it’s worth a shot. Also, she finds out we made some plan without her, I’m losing my balls in my sleep.”
“I’m not too concerned about your balls. Millie just doesn't need anything more to worry about.”
“Didn’t this drama all start because you decided to not hurt me? Trust me, I'd give away my throwing arm before losing my balls. Also, you don’t need to be concerned about Parker saying anything to Millie. If you staying away from Millie is the best plan, my girl won’t say anything. She can keep a secret for years. Used to piss me off. Give me your number and I’ll call you with her ideas.”
“You have until tomorrow morning. I don’t get a call before eight, I'm leaving town anyway.”
MILLIE
THE AIR OUTSIDE THE CLUB was ice cold, and I felt it pulling free the chains that had attached to my feet. Every year I knew this party would be hard to handle, but I often forgot the weight that I ended up carrying around the room.
Dancing with Cooper, catching Marissa’s smile, and seeing Parker work the room were the only moments I cared to remember. Finally feeling able to go home, I looked down the street for Cooper.
I saw him leave the club as soon as we left the dance floor. I couldn't blame him for escaping at the earliest opportunity.
When I saw Cooper and Gray in a heated discussion near the road, I almost turned around and walked back inside. I was too tired for any more drama.
“Boys, if I have to walk over there and deal with any temper tantrums, the next time Jessie throws one, I’m calling you and you’re getting her to calm down,” I yelled from my spot near the doorway.
I watched them turn to me and noticed both their faces were white.
Something was wrong. I felt it. They looked at me like I was about to be shot by a crazed gunman. The last time Gray looked at me like that was in the days following Nate’s death.
I watched them nod at each other and then start walking toward me.
“You ready to go?” Cooper asked me when he got close.
“Yeah, everything okay?” I replied tentatively.
“Yeah, game tomorrow afternoon. Just worried about the other team’s defensive line. They’re meant to be a wrecking ball. Don’t worry, no tantrums here,” he said before pulling me in for a quick hug.
If I wasn’t worried before, his casual touching put me on edge. Cooper didn’t casually touch me. He was all about purpose. Intention. If he touched me, I knew he had thought about it before. Probably more than once. If his hands were on my skin, he knew exactly the response he was trying to elicit.
When we got into my pickup, I looked at him closely as he turned the ignition on. I examined the usual leather jacket, the way his hair fell over his forehead. I thought about all the things I knew about his past. I decided to let go of any problems I could imagine might be weighing on him. I didn’t want to screw up my plans for the night. I needed a break from the constant worry.
“You taking me back to Poison?” I asked him softly.
“I figure you might need to get back to your girl straightaway. I can walk to the club from your house to grab my bike.”
“If you want, we could go straight to yours. Tahnee offered to watch Jessie all night tonight. Guilt babysitting for leaving me to handle the party all by myself. I figured if you handled the party tonight, maybe we could spend the rest of the night together. We could get your bike in the morning?”
“All night, huh?” There was an edge to his voice that had me nervous.
“I was sort of hoping we could finally have some time together that didn’t risk interruption. Unless that hasn't been circumstantial and you can only get off when you’re afraid someone will see us,” I asked him nervously, trying to hide my vulnerability in my light joke.
He looked deep in my eyes before he replied, “You’re hilarious. You want to go to mine, we’ll go to mine. But full disclosure, babe, my place is a pit.”
“You’ve seen my house. It couldn’t possibly be worse than that.”
“My apartment makes your place seem like a resort.”
“No way. Nothing beats my termite buffet.”
“On th
e off chance there’s a nail sticking up from the floor, tell me you’re up to date with your tetanus shots,” he muttered.
“I fell through our porch twice last year. Don’t worry, I’m completely capable of handling anything your apartment wants to throw at me.”
“You fell through twice? And it’s only fixed now because of me? Really?”
“Well, what can I say? I was waiting to win the lottery.”
Cooper needed to win the lottery twice in order to fix this place.
I was wrong. I was not prepared for his apartment.
It was worse than a pit. Calling it a total monstrosity would be too generous. The ceilings showed water damage, and the stench of mold and old meat filled the open-plan room, leaving no space untouched. The flooring was even slightly warped from faulty installation. I chuckled when I noticed the cheap pine air freshener sitting on a plastic crate he was using as a stool. A sad attempt at redeeming the unredeemable. It was as if he’d even tried to rescue this pathetic apartment.
“Pine?”
“Lemon was all sold out. Still want to spend time here?” Cooper inquired with a serious expression on his face. “We can leave. Go back to the park maybe. No one’s going to be there at this time of night. Or I can also always take you home.”
I stopped staring at the room, the damages, and took a hard look at Cooper. He stayed by the door when I’d walked inside the apartment. I hadn’t realized until that moment that he remained unmoving as I ended up on the other side of the room, taking in every detail of each space. He was acting as if he were a doorman at an old established New York brownstone, completely stoic while waiting to reopen the door the moment I asked to leave. Even though his casual position leaning against the doorway was trying to communicate complete indifference, his terse gaze gave away his feelings.
He kept tracking my every move as if on edge. The anxiety pulsated from his body like a living, breathing organism. I remembered everything he had ever tried to keep safe, everything he had taken from him, and I wondered if he was concerned about bringing me here. If by agreeing to let me walk into his place, he was now braced for how I was going to leave.
Flash (Penmore #2) Page 18
