The War Journals: Resistance
Page 42
“What are you thinking about?” Liz asked as she found me by the docks. I had left the wheelchair in Jeanine's yard and walked down on my own. It was Thanksgiving morning, we had given the recruits a few days of R&R.
“New York,” I lied.
“I'm really going to miss this place.” She said, reading me with ease.
“I wonder if it will even be here when we're safe again.”
“Connor,” She said, grabbing my hand, “Promise me this is it, that you'll be done for good after we leave here.”
“I'm starting to wonder if it's even my choice to make.” I said, trying to imagine the battlefield that we would soon turn this town into.
“Haven't you suffered enough?” She asked, “Haven't we suffered enough?”
“The last thing I want is to put you in more pain,” I said looking her in the eyes.
“Then promise me, Connor.” She replied, “That's all I want, just tell me that you're willing to walk away.”
“I promise,” I said, not knowing whether I was even capable of doing so.
We should have been in New York having dinner with Liz's family that night, her parents were always insistent about the holidays. Last year we had waited too long to book our flight and they took the liberty of doing it for us. In some families that might be considered overbearing, but with hers it wasn't. A quiet family meal wasn't easy to put together when you lived in Manhattan, so they would pack Thanksgiving and Christmas into one frantic week. She told me that she had spoken with them and that they worried about me.
They had taken me in as part of the family from the beginning. When my parents were killed in a car crash, they held me up at a time when I needed family the most. Her mother was disappointed that we weren't married yet, or at least engaged. The truth is, I had bought a ring but would never be able to retrieve it now.
Liz was everything to me, but I could feel her slipping away. Who could blame her for distancing herself after everything I had done. She had begun building walls, prepared for the inevitable. We both knew that I couldn't keep this up, close to a half billion people had died over the last 6 months and my time would come as well. One can only cheat death so many times before he rips you from this earth. Then again, maybe Death didn't want me. Maybe he was tired and had allocated the job to me for now.