Finding a Christmas Home

by Lee Tobin McClain

  “You look so much better!” Hannah’s mother hurried to take the two men’s coats. “Are you sure you want to be around the twins, though? Emmy’s better, and Addie doesn’t seem to have caught her cold, but—”

  “I wanted to see them,” the older man said simply. He sat down in the chair Mom indicated and studied the girls. Addie was having her usual after-dinner spurt of energy, running through the house. Emmy had reverted to crawling, as she sometimes did when she was tired. She moved closer to the older man and pulled herself up on his leg, making him smile.

  “I should have cleared it with you,” Luke said, “but I figured that since Dad’s feeling better, we might as well put him to work helping to babysit the twins.”

  “Glad to do it,” Mr. Hutchenson said.

  “And I’m glad for the help. Now, you two go sit at the kitchen table,” Mom ordered. “Get your work done. We’ll handle the girls.”

  “But I feel bad you’re always having to do that,” Hannah protested.

  “They’re my granddaughters,” Mom said. “Why wouldn’t I take care of them as much as I can?”

  “Makes sense,” Mr. Hutchenson said. “Wish I had grandchildren.”

  Mr. Hutchenson’s words reverberated in Hannah’s mind. He’d wanted to see the girls. He wished he had grandkids.

  Luke’s father actually had grandchildren and was even now bending down to help build a block tower with one of them.

  Keeping the relationship a secret seemed more wrong than ever.

  She tried to focus on making a training plan with Luke, but she kept straining to hear the conversation between her mom and Mr. Hutchenson in the other room, which resulted in her making mistake after mistake. Computer work had never been her strong suit, anyway, and she was a two-finger typist. Luke laughed at her, and eventually, he took over at the computer. Once they’d figured out a plan and made it look nice, they emailed Mrs. Markowski with their proposal.

  But as Luke and his father left, she saw the older man studying Emmy and Addie thoughtfully. It almost seemed like he knew something.

  She was going to have to break her promise to Marnie. She had to tell Luke—tell both of them—and the sooner the better.

  * * *

  On Saturday, just before Luke and his father started the complicated check-in procedures for visiting Bobby at the prison, he turned to his father. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  Dad’s hand went reflexively to his incision site, but he nodded his head. “I have to do it.”

  That was how he’d been talking for the last couple of days, and it was concerning to Luke. As he submitted to the search and produced his ID, then explained the reasons for their visit and their relationship to the incarcerated man, Luke worried.

  Had the most recent doctor’s visit, which Luke hadn’t been able to attend because of work, let Dad know something serious about his health, something he wasn’t telling Luke? “Is there some reason for the urgency?” he asked as they waited to be cleared.

  “Yes, there’s a reason!” Dad glared at him. “I’m old and I’m sick and life’s short.” Then his face softened. “You’re too young to understand. I’m going to pull through this recovery, but lying in that hospital made me think. I don’t want to have regrets, that’s all.”

  “Makes sense.” If they’d been a different kind of father and son, he’d have hugged the man, but they weren’t.

  As they walked to the visiting area, the armed guards and clanking double doors jolted Luke. How had Bobby let himself get to this place? Of course, he deserved to be here, given that he’d contributed to a man’s death, but still, the thought that his little brother lived in this environment turned his stomach.

  He should have been there for Bobby. Maybe there was something he could have done.

  Bobby came through the door, wearing the orange jumpsuit Luke had only ever seen on television, and Luke’s heart twisted as he stared at his brother. Bobby was clean-shaven, but his face was leaner than the last time Luke had seen him, his eyes more serious. He’d always been easygoing and fun, but now, he didn’t smile; he lifted his jaw like he wanted to prove his toughness.

  The guard checked their hands before permitting a handshake. It wasn’t a maximum-security prison, but the next level down, and the precautions made sense.

  After a few forced pleasantries had faded into silence, Luke plunged in. “Look, Bobby. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help you kind of navigate life. I didn’t know my responsibility then. But I’ve changed, and I realize I let you down.”

  Bobby studied him steadily. “What made you change?”

  Talking about the deep things in life was uncomfortable, and Luke was bad at it, but he handed over the bible he’d gotten permission to bring in. “Reading this. I hope you’ll read it, too.”

  Bobby’s face broke into a smile, the first of the visit. “I already have.”

  Luke couldn’t believe it. “You’ve...found faith?”

  Dad snorted.

  “I’m a work in progress, but I’m trying,” Bobby said. “I’ll take the bible, if you don’t mind, and share it with someone who needs it. Thanks.” He put his hand on the leather-bound New Testament, almost with reverence. “As far as letting me down...seems to me I’m the one who let you two down. It was my responsibility to be a good citizen, and I didn’t live up to it. I’m sorry.”

  Luke’s throat tightened as he heard his brother take full blame for what he’d done. Prison had finally made Bobby grow up.

  Dad cleared his throat. “If I can get a word in edgewise, with you church types...”

  One corner of Bobby’s mouth turned up and he exchanged a glance with Luke before turning to Dad. “You doing okay? With the surgery and all?”

  Luke was surprised Bobby had paid attention to the letter he’d written about Dad’s situation. In the past, that would have gone right over his self-absorbed head, but it seemed Bobby really was changing.

  Dad waved a hand. “Fine, fine.” He paused, then added, “I guess you heard about Marnie Antonicelli?”

  “Yeah. Sad thing.” He shook his head, two lines appearing between his eyebrows. “Great girl.”

  “When exactly were you two together?” Dad asked, leaning forward. It was a strange question. Luke had known Bobby and Marnie had dated, but he hadn’t thought it was anything serious.

  He had a sudden flash of memory: that restaurant, Hannah’s cousin, her comment that Hannah and Luke reminded her of Bobby and Marnie.

  Bobby looked off into the rest of the noisy room, frowning. “I had a couple real nice months with her, right before I got in here. We might have made something of it, if I hadn’t been such a fool.”

  “Did she stay in touch?” Dad probed.

  “Nah. Didn’t want anything to do with a felon.” He lifted his hands, palms up. “Which I understand.”

  “Then you might not know,” Dad said, “that she had twins.”

  “That she had...” Bobby stared at Dad. “When?”

  It hit Luke like a bucket of cold water to the face, what Dad was getting at, but it was a ridiculous notion. “Those girls can’t be his.”

  Dad didn’t answer. He just watched Bobby.

  “Actually...” Bobby stared at Dad. A drop of sweat rolled down his face. “Do you know... How old are they?”

  “The math works out,” Dad said quietly.

  “What?” Luke’s world reeled. If Addie and Emmy were Bobby’s daughters, then that meant Luke was their uncle. It meant Dad was their grandfather.

  He felt breathless, like he’d just been running hard. “What made you think of this?” he asked his father.

  “It was when you said Emmy was behind in walking and talking,” Dad said. “Bobby was slow to walk and talk. She has the same sneeze, too. And then when I got to studying those girls, I could see the similarities.”

>   As his father and brother talked haltingly through the angles, as Dad showed a picture he’d sneaked on his phone, Luke’s mind spun. How was he going to tell Hannah?

  There was no way she already knew. If she’d suspected, she’d have told him. Told Dad. Wouldn’t she?

  Of course. Marnie must have kept it a secret from everyone. She’d certainly kept it a secret from Bobby.

  “Time’s up,” a guard said, and only then did Luke look around to see that the room had emptied out, mostly.

  Like a robot, he helped his father to his feet, shook Bobby’s hand, listened to them promise to be in touch.

  Bobby kept shaking his head, saying “Wow” and “I can’t believe it.”

  Luke felt the same way.

  “Send more pictures.” Bobby’s voice was choked up.

  “That we’ll have to discuss with Marnie’s people.” Dad looked at Luke, his eyes sharp. “You can do it, or I can.”

  “I’ll talk to Hannah,” he promised.

  “Tell her—tell her I’d like to know them. If that’s possible.” Bobby closed his eyes. “I’ve made so many mistakes.”

  “It could take time for them to adjust.” Luke thought of how Hannah had seemed to withdraw whenever he mentioned Bobby. This wasn’t going to be easy for her to accept. She was so moral, so upright, such a reputable member of the Bethlehem Springs community.

  The thought of telling Hannah and her mother who the twins’ father was...wow. Luke’s neck felt hot and his stomach tightened. He thought he might lose his lunch.

  And that had to pale beside what Bobby was going through. To find out, all of a sudden, that you were a father? Yeah.

  “Talk to them as soon as you can, and let me know what they say,” Bobby said.

  “Yes,” Luke said, “I will.” In fact, he was going to go and see Hannah the moment he got home and got Dad settled.

  He wanted—needed—to tell her the truth.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The knock on the door, late Saturday night, startled Hannah. When she saw a large shape outside, illuminated by the porch light, her heart started to pound as her mind darted to dozens of TV shows about intruders who broke in late at night.

  A text pinged into her phone. It’s me. Need to talk to you.

  Luke. It was Luke! She jumped up and hurried toward the door, an involuntary smile creasing her face.

  He’d been out of touch all day, even though she’d sent him a text letting him know that Mrs. Markowski had responded to their email. Her answer had been abrupt, but at least they knew she’d read it, was willing to talk and was considering letting Pinky be involved. Hannah had been concerned when Luke didn’t answer, but she’d also been busy hosting a playdate for Addie and Emmy and cooking a big pot of lentil soup for dinner and for next week’s lunches.

  She went to the door, and her heart gave that big leap that was starting to happen every time she saw him. He was hatless, his hair unruly in the wind. Dark circles showed under his eyes. “Come in, it’s cold,” she said, opening the door.

  He hesitated. “Can you come out? I’d like to talk privately.”

  He looked concerned, insecure, and she got a wild feeling that he was going to talk about them dating, about caring for her. What else would he want to be private about?

  But that was ridiculous. She had to remember she wasn’t the type of woman men like Luke made declarations to.

  Although...wouldn’t it be nice.

  A gust of cold air caught the storm door, and she had to hold on tightly for a minute. It gave her the time to take a deep breath, and also, to realize just how cold it was outside. More of the dreaded wintry mix was predicted for tonight.

  She needed to be hospitable and friendly toward Luke. No more, but no less, either. She beckoned him in. “Mom’s upstairs watching TV, and the twins are asleep,” she said. “It’s pretty private in here, but I’ll come out if you want.”

  “No. You’re right, it’s too cold.” He came in, shaking off a light coating of snow, and leaned down to unlace and take off his heavy boots.

  When he’d stepped away from the boots, standing in the entryway in his stocking feet, he studied her, his forehead wrinkled. She couldn’t interpret that expression, but it made her stomach turn over. “Your hair’s wet. Sit down, and I’ll make you some hot chocolate. How long have you been out?”

  “I’ve been walking,” he said, and went over to the couch.

  In this weather? Why had he been walking?

  She entered the kitchen and found some instant hot chocolate, wondering all the while what he was here for. If it was a minor work thing, he’d have told her by text, wouldn’t he?

  Unless he had another reason for being here.

  Maybe even a romantic reason?

  She stirred the hot-chocolate mix into two mugs of hot water. The aroma of it rose, homey and welcoming. She took the time to add a little coffee cream to it. He’d like that. She wanted to make him happy, although she didn’t dare admit to herself why that was.

  And she was delaying. Her hands shook a little as she carried out two mugs and set them down, carefully, on the coffee table. Then she sat at the other end of the couch from him. “So what’s up?”

  He took a sip of hot chocolate, put it down and turned to face her. “I have something to tell you,” he said. “You may not like it, but bear with me.”

  Not a romantic visit then. She felt let down, which was absolutely ridiculous. “Okay,” she said.

  “It’s hard to hear, but I wanted to tell you first thing.”

  She felt suddenly hot.

  Steam rose from the cocoa. Sleet tapped against the windows as the wind made the old house creak. Lonely sounds, sounds that put them in a cold world of their own.

  “We went to see Bobby today,” he said.

  Hannah’s stomach dropped as if she’d just crested the hill on a roller coaster and was hurtling down. Slow it down, delay, delay, he doesn’t know. Bobby didn’t know, most likely, so Luke visiting him didn’t have to have revealed anything.

  He’ll hate you when he finds out. The voice inside her head was authoritative, certain. He’d hate her because she’d kept the truth from him rather than telling him right away. “How is he?” she asked, hearing that her voice sounded high and silly.

  “He’s fine. Doing well, considering that he’s in prison. But...” He hesitated.

  “That’s good he’s doing well.” It was hard for her to catch her breath.

  She’d had to keep the secret. She’d made a promise to Marnie, for all kinds of reasons that had made all kinds of sense at one time.

  “Yes. But between Bobby and Dad, we figured out...we’ll have to do a DNA test to know for sure, but...” He leaned closer, that concerned expression on his face again. “There’s no easy way to tell you. I think the twins—Marnie’s twins, your nieces—are Bobby’s.”

  He’d found out the truth. Before she could get up the nerve to tell him, he’d found out.

  She sucked in a breath, staring at him. This was it.

  He was going to hate her. Although, she suddenly realized, she could pretend not to know, could get herself off the hook. No one knew what Marnie had told her. She could act shocked.

  But she was tired of secrets and concealing and hiding. And, anyway, she was bad at it. She’d never be able to pull it off.

  But he would hate her.

  She was still looking at him, trying to figure out what to say.

  So she saw when his expression changed, saw him tilt his head to one side, saw the shock in his eyes. “You knew,” he said. “You knew Bobby was the twins’ father, and you didn’t tell me.”

  * * *

  Luke sat and stared at Hannah for what felt like a long time. Everything started to click into place.

  She’d known. That was why she’d flipped out e
very time Bobby was mentioned. Not because she was such a moral, upright woman that the very thought of a felon horrified her, but because she’d lied to Luke.

  Lied to him about those innocent little girls upstairs, who’d started to tug at his heart even before he knew...

  Luke slammed down his cup of hot chocolate. It sloshed out onto the coffee table and dripped off the edge.

  She didn’t even look at it. “Luke, let me explain.”

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said in a forlorn voice. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Then, silence. A silence that felt extremely loud.

  Luke didn’t know how he got off the couch and into his boots and outside the house, though he did have a dim sense that he’d banged into the coffee table and sloshed more hot chocolate.

  The trees bent and creaked in the wind. Underfoot, snow crunched.

  The roaring, screaming wind echoed the feeling inside him.

  She’d known the truth all along. She’d sat there with him and the twins, sat in the doctor’s office and discussed their genetics with him beside her, and she still hadn’t told him.

  “Luke! Wait! Your coat.” Hannah’s voice rose above the wind and he realized that, yes, he’d forgotten his coat. Hadn’t even noticed, because he was burning up.

  She’d known the truth and kept it from him. Sweet, pure Hannah had flat-out lied.

  He thought of his father’s excitement, his brother’s. They’d both been thrilled to discover that they were, respectively, the grandfather and father of two beautiful little girls.

  And, yeah, they were both messed up. Bobby was really messed up. But they were human beings, and their feelings and rights had been discounted as if they were worthless. By the good Christian woman now calling his name from behind him.

  A car’s headlights flashed down the road just as Hannah caught up with him.