Finding a Christmas Home

by Lee Tobin McClain

  That was when Marnie had tugged Hannah closer, told her Bobby was the father and made her promise to keep the secret. “Bad enough they’ll have my reputation,” she’d said in a low, hoarse voice. “Can’t be helped. You’ll fix that. But I can’t stand to think they’ll grow up knowing their father’s a—a murderer. Everyone will know. They’ll be condemned...before they have a chance.”

  The beepers had started to go off. Marnie was so agitated. “Promise.” She’d tightened her grip on Hannah’s hand again.

  Hannah had nodded, and Marnie had collapsed back. Not an hour later, she’d died.

  “She loved them,” Hannah choked out now, and then all the pain and hurt of losing her sister, hurt she’d hidden beneath righteous anger, came rushing out of her in a waterfall of tears.

  “I can’t stand that they’ll never know her,” she lamented. “They’ll never know how funny she could be. They won’t have a mother at their w-w-weddings!”

  They all cried then, and Samantha rushed off to grab a big box of tissues. Long after her friends’ sympathetic tears had dried, Hannah cried on.

  It felt like her chest had been ripped wide open, leaving her heart exposed.

  Hannah’s beloved sister. The twins’ mother.

  Yes, Marnie had made mistakes, but who hadn’t?

  And if her loss was great, the twins’ was so much greater. No mother to teach them the facts of life, to shop for prom dresses, to straighten their graduation caps. Yes, she and Mom would mother them as best they could, but it wouldn’t be quite the same.

  After a while, after more tissues and tea and hugs, they prayed together. Then, at Samantha’s insistence, they opened their gifts to each other and exclaimed over their books.

  Finally, as Gabby and Hannah stood to leave, Samantha frowned. “What about Luke?” she asked. “What are you going to do about him?”

  “You need to talk to him.” Gabby’s voice was firm.

  Hannah felt too emotionally drained to even attempt to figure that out. “We have to make a final push with Mrs. Markowski and Mr. Romano tomorrow. So we’ll have to work together.” She didn’t know how, when he was so angry. But they had to try.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Monday morning, Luke pulled into the Rescue Haven parking lot right behind Mrs. Markowski’s late-model SUV. He was pretty sure her appointment wasn’t until ten, but here she was at 9:15 a.m.

  When you could afford to drive a car like that, you got to call the shots.

  As for Luke, he’d deliberately come in fifteen minutes late so he wouldn’t have to watch Hannah take the twins into the Learn-and-Play. He’d watched the drop-off ritual countless times, had enjoyed seeing Addie’s exuberance and Emmy’s sleepy smile, but never before with the awareness that they were his nieces.

  He just couldn’t deal with that yet. He wanted to be in their lives, but for now, he couldn’t bear to see Hannah walking along with them, as if she had the right, and the only right.

  The times he’d been around Hannah and the girls played through his mind like a video on repeat: Thanksgiving, putting up Christmas decorations, taking Emmy to the doctor. As well as plenty of other casual moments in the yard or here at Rescue Haven.

  Every one of those times, Hannah must have been aware that she was deceiving him, but she’d never let slip a word.

  Instead, she’d made it seem like she actually cared for him, that for once he, Luke Hutchenson, might be enough.

  But he wasn’t enough, and his brother most certainly wasn’t enough. She wanted to keep those precious little girls entirely separate from the tainted Hutchenson family.

  Well, fine. He was staying away from them, too, at least this morning.

  As he got out of the car, Hannah’s car squealed into her usual parking spot, and Luke almost groaned.

  Of course. He’d come late on purpose, to avoid her, on the very day she arrived late, as well.

  If God had a sense of humor, Luke didn’t find it very funny. He turned away, but Addie’s rapturous “Luke! Luke!” pulled him back around.

  She tugged away from Hannah and ran to him.

  Emmy followed more slowly, rubbing her eyes.

  For the life of him, he couldn’t turn his back. He knelt down and put out a hand to each girl, his throat going thick.

  Emmy grabbed his fingers. Addie bypassed the extended hand and came in for a hug. He swallowed hard, smelling Addie’s baby-shampoo hair, feeling Emmy’s tiny hands clutching his.

  He glanced up at Hannah and the sight of her pretty, deceptive face hardened him. He disentangled himself and stood.

  “Come on, girls, time to go inside,” he said. “Look, there’s Miss Gabby!”

  Easily distracted, the twins rushed to Gabby, who’d come outside with her own little girl, Izzy.

  “Grandma!” Izzy crowed, and ran fearlessly over the slippery ground to Mrs. Markowski.

  That sobered Luke. From what he understood, Mrs. Markowski’s deceased son was Izzy’s biological father, but the nonconsensual act that had conceived her... He didn’t know the whole story, but he was pretty sure there had been a lot of crying and counseling before Mrs. Markowski and Gabby could greet each other cordially and dote together on little Izzy.

  Only with God’s help, and for the sake of a child, could that kind of healing take place.

  As Gabby hurried back inside, ushering Izzy along with the twins, Mrs. Markowski brushed gloved hands together and turned to Luke. Lines formed between her weirdly dark eyebrows, and her red-lipstick mouth pursed. After glaring from him to Hannah and back again, she spoke. “I don’t know what you have to show me that’s so much better than last week. I have significant doubts that you can redeem yourself.”

  Hannah started earnestly expanding on the training plan they’d emailed to her. She helped Mrs. Markowski get her yapping poodle—was it wearing a tutu?—out of its crate.

  Luke walked off to the side of the parking lot, trying to gather his mental resources. He wasn’t sure how to get through this day. He’d tried praying, in that disastrous church service, but it hadn’t gotten him very far.

  Reese came to stand beside Luke. “I don’t know what’s up with you and Hannah,” he said quietly, “but Gabby let me know you two are at odds. Whatever’s going on personally, you need to get your head in the game.”

  Luke stared at the ground. “I’ll try.”

  “The money generated by this new facility will help a lot of kids and a lot of dogs. And it’ll probably determine your future here, as well as Hannah’s. It’s important.”

  “Got it.” Luke turned away and marched over to the barn as Hannah and Mrs. Markowski tried to calm down the poodle. He would turn on the lights and heat, make sure the agility course was ready to go and then stay out of the way. Maybe he could get through today without letting down Reese and Rescue Haven, but also without having too much interaction with Hannah.

  All too soon the two women came in with the dog. Hannah looked hassled. “Luke, could you move the jump height down?” she asked.

  Yes, ma’am. He didn’t look at her as he walked over to the jump and knelt to lower its height.

  He felt something nudge his leg and realized the little poodle had come over. He reached out to scratch its ears.

  “Don’t!” Hannah and Mrs. Markowski both yelled.

  Too late. The little dog sunk its teeth into Luke’s hand.

  He jerked away and ruefully studied the droplets of blood on his hand. He couldn’t catch a break today.

  The little dog backed off and stood growling at Luke.

  “Pinky!” Hannah rushed over. “No biting. Luke, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, but I’m steering clear of Cujo, here.” He headed for the sink to wash off the blood. Not to be a wimp, but those little teeth hurt.

  Mrs. Markowski intercepted him. “You shouldn’t ha
ve touched Pinky. I don’t appreciate that.”

  He stopped and studied her. Really, she wasn’t going to apologize for not keeping her brat of a dog under control? “I’ll stay clear of her in the future.” It was the nicest thing he could manage to say.

  Behind him, he heard her muttering something about “there’s not going to be a future.”

  Hannah soothed the woman and started instructing her in the basics of dog agility.

  His role over for now, Luke headed for the farthest wall, whitewash can in hand. They’d decided to keep the rustic nature of the barn, rather than attempting to make it into a modern-looking facility. He got a stepladder, carried up his paint and started whitewashing the final wall.

  The physical activity soothed him in about the same proportion that watching Hannah agitated him.

  She was kneeling in front of the mouthy little dog. Just as she had with Goldie, she used treats to make it sit down, and then rewarded it, giving it some careful petting.

  Mrs. Markowski stood beside Hannah and talked, probably spewing a constant stream of criticism, but Hannah didn’t even look at her; her entire focus was on the dog.

  Luke finished his section, moved the ladder and started another. And continued watching, because he couldn’t help it.

  Hannah was good at her job, he’d give her that. She soon had the little monster wagging its tail and eating out of her hand.

  Pretty much like Luke had done. She’d tamed him, too.

  He’d wanted to help his father, do his duty and be a decent son, and then leave this town, where his name was a handicap.

  Over the last few weeks, though, he’d started to see a different vision for his future.

  Dad didn’t just need help getting through surgery; he needed help getting through life. And he was changing. He’d actually been the one to suggest that he join Luke at church, and while a lot of that had been about catching a glimpse of his newly discovered granddaughters, Dad had paid attention to the readings, had even sung a little. To Luke’s surprise, this wasn’t Dad’s first encounter with religion. He’d grown up attending church and was familiar enough to get by.

  Still, there was no doubt that Dad would benefit from Luke’s steadying influence.

  He’d thought Hannah and the twins might benefit, too. More than that, he’d thought he needed Hannah. At least, for sure, he’d wanted her. He’d wondered if he was worthy, since she was so pure, but he’d started to catch a glimmer that maybe, just maybe, he could live up to—and find love with—a good woman like Hannah.

  But that feeling was gone, swept away on the cold wind of her lies.

  Pinky’s yapping brought Luke’s attention back to the present and the barn, and he realized he’d whitewashed over the same section of wall multiple times. As he climbed down to move his ladder, he saw that Hannah had hit a snag.

  Pinky had apparently gotten afraid of the teeter-totter and was barking furiously at it as if it was a living thing. Hannah’s soothing words and Mrs. Markowski’s petting weren’t enough to calm down the frantic dog. From this angle, Luke could see the problem: the teeter-totter was just a little off-kilter. Most likely, when Hannah had coaxed the dog to walk over it, it had banged down prematurely. Not only that, but it was also still a little high for the small poodle.

  He shouldn’t help Hannah; he should just let her crash and burn.

  But like Reese had said, this was important and went beyond his own issues and problems with Hannah. A bunch of at-risk boys and dogs depended on Rescue Haven, and Rescue Haven depended on donors like Mrs. Markowski.

  He looked around and located a wider, longer board. He carried it over, walking slowly.

  Pinky’s barking accelerated.

  “Get away from her!” Mrs. Markowski’s voice was shrill. “Can’t you see she’s upset?”

  Hannah, though, saw immediately what he intended. “That would be perfect, but I don’t know if the base can hold it.”

  “I’m the handyman, remember?” And why couldn’t he remember that he was supposed to be mad at her?

  He knelt in front of the teeter-totter and removed the small board. He made a couple of adjustments to the apparatus underneath and was able to fit the wider board on top and secure it.

  “I don’t see what good that will do.” Mrs. Markowski had moved a few meters away and was holding Pinky, who had blessedly quieted down.

  Hannah explained, her voice patient. “The longer board will make the angle more gradual, and the width of it will give her more security. Also, it looks different, so maybe she won’t have that bad association with it. In fact...” She tapped a finger on her chin and looked around. “Luke, would you mind moving it to the other side of the enclosure? That way, she’ll think it’s a whole different thing.”

  He didn’t mind, fool that he was. And he couldn’t resist watching as Pinky approached the teeter-totter and then, lured by treats so strong Luke could smell them from where he stood, she walked up the slope.

  Hannah held the board so that it didn’t crash down on the other side. She lowered it gently, still luring, and Pinky walked down with no fuss and looked expectantly at Hannah for her treat.

  “That’s a win!” Hannah crowed, taking a few steps backward and holding out a fist to bump with Luke’s.

  He turned away, walked away. That was how she sucked him in, and he couldn’t let it happen again.

  * * *

  After Mrs. Markowski left, talking baby talk to Pinky the whole way, telling her what a smart dog she was, Hannah let out a sigh and flopped into a plastic chair.

  “I think we’re over the hump,” she said to Luke, who was carrying a stepladder back to the storage area.

  He didn’t answer. Maybe he hadn’t heard her. Coaxing Mrs. Markowski back into positivity about Rescue Haven and the new dog-training facility felt good. Forgiving Marnie, as she was starting to do, felt good.

  Having the truth out about the twins, not having to keep the secret any longer—that felt good.

  But being alienated from Luke was such a big barrier that it seemed to block out all the positive feelings.

  When he walked back across the barn, she stood and walked toward him. “Thank you for being here for the center and for figuring out that teeter-totter problem,” she said.

  He kept walking toward the door. “It’s my job,” he said as he shrugged into his jacket.

  She wanted to rush over to him, grab his arm and stop him from leaving. To ask if she’d see him before Christmas.

  He opened the door, and cold air rushed in.

  He was going to leave without saying anything more. And she wouldn’t see him again. She took a few steps, hoping against hope that he’d turn back toward her.

  He continued out, closing the door behind him.

  Her chest hurt like someone had taken a knife and dug out her heart, leaving nothing but a raw, aching wound. She took a few more steps toward the door. She’d call him back, make him listen. Let him yell at her. Anything was better than this empty sense of loss.

  Have some pride, she told herself.

  Only she didn’t have any pride. She ran to the door, opened it and rushed out into the blowing snow. “Luke!”

  He stopped, half-turning. He didn’t look at her.

  “Do you—do you need any help with Goldie? The holidays might be a good time to work on training.” What a stupid thing to say, when she wanted to bare her soul, but it was all she could think of.

  “No, thanks. We’re enrolling her in a class at Pet Express in January.”

  They’d replaced her that easily. She wouldn’t even be able to work with Goldie again. A heavy feeling seemed to weigh down her eyes, her heart. And it was silly to feel sad about a dog, but Goldie wasn’t just a dog. She had brought Hannah and Luke together, had been there, with her wagging tail and warm brown eyes, as they’d come to respect
and care for each other.

  Or at least, she’d thought they respected and cared for each other. With one mistake—admittedly a giant one, and all her fault—whatever they’d been building together had fallen apart.

  She wanted to wail like a child, but she didn’t want to burden him with her tears. She swallowed hard and looked at the ground. “Okay. Sure. Merry Christmas.”

  But when she looked up again, he was already gone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The day after the successful session with Mrs. Markowski, which was also the first day of Rescue Haven’s Christmas-week break, Luke intended to sleep in. But, of course, he’d woken up early, and at six thirty he’d given up the fight, dressed and gone downstairs to let out Goldie and grab some coffee. He made breakfast, and by seven thirty he was cleaning up and Dad was in his chair in the living room, watching TV.

  There was a knock on the door.

  Goldie, who now lived full-time in the house and felt it her job to defend it, barked wildly.

  Hannah! His whole body surged with joy before he remembered he was furious at her, that she wasn’t what she’d appeared to be, that she’d lied. That she hadn’t wanted her family, her nieces, to have any connection with the horrible Hutchensons.

  “You gonna get that, or do I have to?” Dad grumbled. He wasn’t at his best in the morning, and he’d been especially moody since learning the truth about Bobby and processing the fact that Marnie hadn’t even wanted to give Bobby’s children the Hutchenson name.

  Luke straightened his shoulders, walked over to the door in his stocking feet and opened it.

  “Luke!” Addie’s joyous voice greeted him, and he looked down and saw Emmy’s shy smile.

  But Hannah wasn’t behind them—instead, it was her mother.

  “We’re here to see you, but mostly to see your father,” she said briskly. “Can we come in?”

  “Uh, we’re still a little scruffy, but sure. Goldie, back up.” He held the dog by the collar as Mrs. Antonicelli, Addie and Emmy came in.