An Author's Odyssey

by Chris Colfer

  The Snake Lord was accompanied by two sidekicks, a man and a woman—but neither appeared to be entirely human. They had scaly green skin, large nostrils, and reptilian eyes. The man had an orange Mohawk and a collar like a frilled lizard. The woman had red horns and long nails like the claws of a raptor.

  “Collared Joe and Lizzy Liza are with him!” Whipney said, and raised a lock of hair at the screen.

  “He’s got more friends than that,” Morph said. “Look!”

  The three criminals were followed by a long procession of thousands and thousands of serpents. There were boa constrictors, pythons, anacondas, and even tiny garden snakes. The serpents were colorful and moved behind the Snake Lord like a slithering rainbow.

  The news showed footage of the Snake Lord and his scaly accomplices storming the base of the Eiffel Tower. They knocked down security guards in their way, and hundreds of tourists ran for their lives. The snakes formed a circle around the Eiffel Tower and didn’t let any of the Parisian police pass.

  The camera zoomed in on a device the Snake Lord was carrying that looked like a mini-satellite.

  “The Snake Lord has the Reptilalizer!” Bolt said in horror.

  “At this time, the Snake Lord hasn’t made any demands and isn’t holding any civilians hostage,” the reporter said. “It is a complete mystery as to why he has come to Paris and what he wants with the Eiffel Tower.”

  The Ziblings shared fearful looks with one another.

  “It isn’t a mystery to us!” Blaze said. “We’ve got to get to Paris and stop him! Ziblings to the jet!”

  The four superheroes ran straight to the Zibling Jet parked on the subway track.

  Conner was more upset by the news than any of the superheroes were. “This is terrible,” Conner said.

  “Hold the phone,” Alex said. “The Snake Lord? The Reptilalizer? You never mentioned any of that before we left.”

  “That’s because I forgot how short this story is. It moves much faster than the other ones,” he said. “The Snake Lord is the Ziblings’ arch-nemesis. He was a scientist who used to work with Professor Wallet. A failed experiment turned him and his research assistants into partial reptiles. When Professor Wallet couldn’t reverse the effects, the Snake Lord became evil. He invented a helmet that gave him control over all reptiles. The Reptilalizer is his newest invention, and it turns mammals into reptiles. It has to be activated from the tallest point in a city—that’s why he’s at the Eiffel Tower!”

  “So once he activates it, he’ll turn everyone in Paris into a reptile and be able to control them!” Alex said as she figured it out. “That’s intense!”

  The Ziblings climbed aboard the jet and strapped themselves into the seats, but Blaze blocked Bolt from entering.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Blaze asked.

  “I’m going to Paris to fight the Snake Lord with you guys,” Bolt said.

  “No you’re not,” Blaze said. “You heard Dad—you’re grounded.”

  “Oh, come on,” Bolt argued. “The Snake Lord is the toughest bad guy we’ve ever fought! You’re going to need help!”

  “Exactly. Which is why you need to stay in the laboratory,” Blaze said. “We’ll have our hands full saving the people of Paris—we won’t be able to watch you. If you come with us, you’ll just be a burden.”

  Bolt’s posture sank almost an entire foot. He had never been called a burden before.

  “But… but… but I’m a superhero,” Bolt said with a quivering lip.

  Blaze sighed. “No you’re not,” he said. “You’re just a kid with tricks.”

  Blaze closed the jet’s door right in front of Bolt’s face and joined Whipney and Morph in the cockpit. The engines roared and the Zibling Jet rocketed down the abandoned subway, heading for Paris.

  Bolt waited until his brothers and sister were gone and then burst into tears. He went to his corner of the laboratory and cried at his desk. Once it was out of his system, he tried to make himself feel better by playing with his homemade figurines. He picked up the one with the tissue cape and moved it through the air like it was flying.

  “Here he comes now to save the day!” Bolt said, pretending he was a news reporter. “It’s the world’s favorite Zibling—it’s Bolt!”

  Fantasizing about being a real superhero only made him feel worse. Bolt crumpled up the figurine until it was nothing but a pile of used batteries. He rested his head on his desk and continued crying.

  “We need a new plan to recruit the Ziblings,” Conner whispered to Alex. “Any ideas? Alex?”

  He turned to his sister and saw that the sad little superhero had brought Alex to tears. In fact, she looked sadder than Bolt did.

  “Alex, are you okay?” he asked.

  “Conner, I’m so sorry.” She sniffled.

  “Sorry for what?” Conner asked.

  “Sorry if I ever made you feel like that,” Alex cried. “I know you don’t remember, but there was a time I treated you exactly like the Ziblings are treating Bolt—and just like them, I had no idea how much I was hurting you. This story is much more personal than you think. It’s about us.”

  “Alex, I think you’re over-reacting,” he said.

  “You just don’t see it,” Alex said. “Since we were kids, people have always compared us to each other. Everyone always shamed you for not getting good grades like me, for not being as mature as me, or for not being as organized as me. But no one ever made me feel bad for not being more like you—I had no idea what it was like. But now that I’m watching Bolt, I see how painful it must have been.”

  At first Conner thought his sister was crazy. There was no way a silly story he wrote could have been that meaningful. But the more she explained, the more sense it made. Alex had always been capable of so many things, she was like a superhero in his mind, a superhero he could never live up to.

  “I apologize if I ever made you feel bad about yourself or made you feel left behind,” Alex said. “You’ve always been so supportive of me, and I should have returned the favor more often. You’re so gifted and deserve a lot more champions than just Mrs. Peters. I’m sorry it took a trip into your stories for me to see that.”

  Conner had no idea what to say. He looked around at the world of the Ziblings as if he were seeing his own story for the first time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CITY OF LIGHTNING

  The Ziblings have arrived in Paris! I repeat, the Ziblings have arrived in Paris!” the French reporter announced. “Parisians can take a deep breath! It looks like help is here!”

  The twins were still sitting in the trunk of the Zibling Mobile. Conner was trying to come up with a new plan to recruit the superheroes, but all he could think about was his sister’s analysis of his story. Was there really more to the Ziblings than he realized?

  “So what happens next?” Alex asked.

  “The Snake Lord captures the Ziblings at the Eiffel Tower,” Conner said. “When Professor Wallet returns to the laboratory, he gives Bolt a pep talk that boosts his confidence. Bolt goes to Paris to save his brothers and sister, and when he faces the Snake Lord, the rest of his powers kick in and he saves the day.”

  “Oh, Professor Wallet must be based on Mrs. Peters!” Alex said. “She’s the person who gave you the confidence to write—and it activated the rest of your abilities!”

  “Stop analyzing and focus,” Conner said. “Professor Wallet doesn’t get back to the laboratory for a week. We need to boost Bolt’s confidence or we’ll be stuck here for a couple days.”

  “Can’t you and I just go to Paris and save the Ziblings ourselves?” Alex asked.

  “No. The Ziblings are too divided right now,” Conner explained. “We need them working as a team if we want them to help us fight the Literary Army. When Bolt saves them, he restores their bond as a family.”

  “Got it,” Alex said. “So how do we make him confident enough to go?”

  Conner scratched his head as he thought about it. He peeked
out of the trunk and saw that Bolt was still pouting at his desk.

  “He wants nothing more than to be a superhero,” Conner said. “So let’s make him feel like a superhero. We’ll still pretend we’re student reporters from the Otherworld Times, but we’ll say we’re doing a story all about him.”

  Alex nodded. “Let’s look the part,” she said.

  She snapped her fingers and a notepad and pen appeared in Conner’s hands. Alex snapped again and a camera appeared hanging around her neck. The twins quietly crawled out of the Zibling Mobile, tiptoed across the subway tracks, and climbed onto the platform. Conner knocked on the wall of mug shots like it was a door.

  “Excuse me?” he called into the laboratory. “Is this Professor Wallet’s secret underground laboratory?”

  The voice startled Bolt and he jumped up from his desk. He had never seen strangers in the laboratory before. He eyed the twins suspiciously and made fists with his hands.

  “What are you doing in here?” he asked.

  “Oh my goodness!” Conner said. “It’s the incredible Bolt himself! We must be in the right place!”

  “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe we’re seeing him in person!” Alex said.

  The twins acted starstruck. They giddily jumped up and down like they were meeting their idol. Their enthusiasm made Bolt stand a little taller.

  “Who are you?” he asked. “How did you find the laboratory?”

  “I’m Conner and this is my photographer, Alex,” Conner said. “We’re from the Otherworld Times. Professor Wallet didn’t tell you we were coming?”

  “No,” Bolt said. “What’s the Otherworld Times?”

  “It’s a syndicated school newspaper that’s printed in over twenty-five states nationwide,” Conner explained. “We’re here to do a human-interest piece on you. We asked our readers who their favorite Zibling was, and over seventy percent of those polled said it was you. Congratulations!”

  Bolt couldn’t believe it. His eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open. He had never been anyone’s favorite anything before.

  “Me?” he said in shock. “But… but… but why?”

  Conner hadn’t thought this part of his plan through yet. He looked to Alex for help.

  “Because you’re the Zibling our readers identify with,” she said. “They think it’s very brave of you to fight criminals much bigger and older than you. You inspire young kids around the country to go after their own dreams—despite their size or age!”

  Bolt held a hand over the lightning bolt on his chest. He had never been so honored in his life.

  “I never thought I was so inspirational,” he said.

  “Would you mind if we interviewed you and took some pictures?” Conner asked.

  “Would I mind?” Bolt asked. “Please—I insist!”

  The superhero checked his reflection in the computer screen and straightened his hair. He pulled up two chairs for him and Conner to sit in while they chatted. Conner scanned his blank notepad as if it were full of questions. Alex walked around them and took photos while they spoke.

  “Now, tell us, what’s it like being a superhero?” Conner asked.

  Bolt hesitated to answer. Truthfully, he had never felt more unlike a superhero than today. But he didn’t want to disappoint the readers of the Otherworld Times, so he gave the answers he thought they’d want to hear.

  “It’s the best job in the whole world!” Bolt said. “The asteroid hitting our orphanage was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  Conner scribbled down notes so quickly, he wasn’t even writing real words.

  “What’s your favorite part about being a hero?” Conner asked.

  “Oh, that’s easy,” Bolt said. “Helping people! I love seeing the relief in their eyes after they’re rescued from a burning building, or a runaway train, or a sinking ship. Actually, I’ve never saved anyone myself, but I’ve been with my brothers and sister when they have.”

  The thought made Bolt a little sad and he sank in his chair. Conner quickly changed the subject to keep his spirits up.

  “Our readers love watching you fly,” he said. “Do you have any special techniques that get you off the ground?”

  “Actually, I’m still working on the whole flying thing,” Bolt said, like it was a secret. “Hopefully I’ll get better at it one day. Never go so high you’re afraid to look down: That’s my motto.”

  “Words to live by,” Conner said. “And what about all that electricity you produce? Where does it come from?”

  “According to my dad, my body generates a lot of friction, which pulls the electricity out of the environment around me,” Bolt said. “Right now I can light up a fourteen-watt battery all by myself, but I’m hoping to get to a sixty-watt by the end of the year.”

  “That’s very impressive!” Conner said. “It makes perfect sense why our readers said they’d prefer having your powers over any of your siblings’.”

  “Really?” Bolt asked. “That’s crazy because most of the time I wish I could switch! I think it would be so cool to create fire like Blaze, or turn into stuff like Morph, or use my hair for chores like Whipney.”

  The more Conner buttered him up, the happier he became. With every picture Alex took, Bolt had a bigger and bigger smile. So far, their plan seemed to be working.

  “Nice. This is all such great stuff,” Conner said. “What would you say to someone who wanted to be a superhero as amazing as you?”

  It took Bolt a few moments to respond. He had never thought anyone would want to be a superhero like him. He wanted to give his followers an answer from his heart.

  “I suppose it would be to never give up,” he said. “Courage is what makes a superhero super!”

  Suddenly, the red lightbulb in the center of the laboratory lit up and the crisis alarm sounded again. The twins and Bolt turned to the television and saw that the situation in Paris had become much worse.

  “Breaking news,” the panicked reporter said. “The Snake Lord has captured the Ziblings! I repeat, the Snake Lord has captured the Ziblings! Something has gone wrong in their attempt to save the city. There is still no information at this time of what the Snake Lord is doing at the Eiffel Tower or what he is now planning to do with the Ziblings.”

  The news played live footage from a helicopter circling the Eiffel Tower. Blaze, Whipney, and Morph were wrapped around the base of the tower’s antenna by a large anaconda. They were so close together, Blaze couldn’t use his powers without burning his brother and sister. It was so tight between them that Morph couldn’t transform into anything. A rattlesnake was covering Whipney’s head like a turban, constricting her hair.

  The Snake Lord was standing on a small platform at the very top of the Eiffel Tower’s antenna. Screw by screw, he attached the Reptilalizer to the antenna and connected it to the tower’s power. He operated unwaveringly and never looked up from the device.

  Bolt was horrified to see that his family had been captured. Even though they’d known it was coming, Alex and Conner pretended to be just as surprised as him.

  “This is awful!” he said. “The Snake Lord is going to turn everyone in Paris into a reptile!”

  “Good thing there’s still one Zibling left who can save them,” Alex said.

  The boy shook his head and paced back and forth. He couldn’t fathom facing such a threat without the help of his brothers and sister.

  “I can’t defeat the Snake Lord on my own!” Bolt said. “My powers haven’t reached their full potential yet! I’m no match for him.”

  “Sure you are,” Conner said. “You’re the Otherworld Times’ favorite superhero!”

  “No I’m not!” Bolt exclaimed. “Your readers got it wrong. I’m not even a real superhero. My own family said it! I’m just a boy with tricks! The Snake Lord is going to win, and there’s nothing I can do about it!”

  Bolt went to his corner of the laboratory and sat at his desk. Alex and Conner exchanged worried glances. They had built up his ego only
to watch it collapse like a building under demolition.

  “I don’t think we can convince him,” Conner said to his sister. “To be honest, I’m not sure I would go to Paris if I were in his shoes.”

  “But you were in his shoes once,” Alex said. “Bolt is you. He represents the little boy inside you who used to doubt himself. You have to be his Mrs. Peters—tell him exactly what you would have wanted to hear.”

  It was unsettling how Alex understood Conner’s characters better than he did, but that’s how he knew she was right. He let out a deep sigh and walked over to Bolt.

  “For what it’s worth, I know how you feel,” Conner told him. “I used to doubt myself a lot. When people told me I wasn’t good enough, I believed them. It’s hard not to when you’re young.”

  “Tell me about it,” Bolt said. “Does it get better when you’re older?”

  “It did for me,” Conner said.

  “How?” Bolt asked.

  “Someone else believed in me,” Conner said. “All it took was one person’s approval and suddenly I believed in myself, too. It gave me a shield to block out all the doubt and negativity. It made me realize I was just as capable and deserving as the people I compared myself to. But you know what? I was wrong.”

  “You were?” Bolt asked.

  “Totally,” Conner said. “I didn’t need someone else. I had confidence in myself, deep down inside, the whole time. Approval is just a shortcut to self-worth, but sometimes we have to find things out on our own. Sometimes if we want something bad enough, we have to inspire ourselves to get it. Sometimes we have to be our own superhero.”

  Out of everything Conner said, he could tell this resonated with the boy the most. If he wanted to help people, maybe he had to start with himself.

  “But what if I fail?” Bolt asked. “What if the Snake Lord wins and I don’t save anyone? Then I’ll never be a superhero.”

  “A very wise man once told me that ‘courage is what makes a superhero super,’” Conner said. “He never said anything about succeeding.”

  Bolt looked down at the pile of used batteries on his desk. If the batteries had feelings, he imagined they’d feel the same way he did: useless, crumpled, and empty. But if he could glue junk together and turn it into a hero, he knew he could make a hero out of himself, too. Bolt stood up from his desk and looked Conner in the eye.