A Tragic Wreck

by T. K. Leigh

  Upon closer inspection, he realized that the boxes contained items from Olivia’s past. His father had erased her life, but kept everything in those boxes.

  Alexander grabbed a box and lifted the lid. He gasped. “Mr. Bear.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  SCARED

  “NOW, OLIVIA, WHAT IS it about Alexander’s declaration of love that scares you?” Dr. Greenstein asked.

  “What makes you think I’m scared?” she responded as she glanced out the window. It was a dismal Tuesday in March. There was a mixed precipitation falling. Olivia hated that type of weather. It made her angry. Either snow or rain, but don’t do this in the middle bullshit. It seemed that everything irritated her lately. Well, at least since she ran from Alexander Sunday morning after he said the three words that scared her most.

  “Well, it’s fairly obvious, isn’t it? You’re trying to find some excuse to not have to say those words back. Olivia, do you remember the last person you said ‘I love you’ to?”

  Olivia searched her brain for a memory of saying those words. She was coming up short. She couldn’t remember. It wasn’t the day of the crash. When her father had told her that he and her mother loved her, instead of responding in kind, she simply said, “I know”.

  “I can’t remember,” she said quietly.

  “Olivia, I want to try something.” Dr. Greenstein got up and pushed a button, causing the blinds to drop on the windows, shielding all the light from the room except for a dim lamp on the desk. “I want you to lie down and close your eyes.”

  Olivia looked at the doctor like she was crazy.

  “Please, Olivia. Humor me.”

  “Fine,” she exhaled as she lay down.

  “Now, I want you to just breathe for a little bit. Inhale and exhale.” Dr. Greenstein’s voice had changed to a soft singing-type sound.

  “Just keep breathing and focus on that alone. Shut the rest of the world out. Forget about everything. It’s just you and me, okay? Inhale. Exhale.” Olivia relaxed, listening to the doctor’s gentle voice.

  “Now, let’s go back for a minute. What do you remember about growing up? Before the crash, what memory stands out?”

  “I remember playing the piano with my mom. I remember singing with her.”

  “And what songs did you sing?”

  “A lot of Beatles songs. My mother loved the Beatles.”

  “Do you remember any of the songs you would sing with your mom?”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Picture yourself sitting at the piano with your mother.”

  “I am.”

  “Look at the piano keys. What notes is she playing? Can you visualize it?”

  Olivia held her hands up as if she was playing the piano, tracing where her mother’s hands would have been, humming along to a slow, haunting version of If I Fell, the memory of singing the song while her mother played the piano making her smile. She was singing that song to someone…someone other than her mother.

  “Good, Olivia. Good. So you can remember. Now, even if you don’t remember telling your mother that you loved her, do you remember feeling the love you had for her at that moment?”

  “I remember singing that song for someone else… There was someone else in the room…a boy with green eyes. I loved him… I know I did, but I just can’t say those words.”

  “Do you think the reason you’re so scared of telling Alexander you love him is because you regret not telling your parents, and this green-eyed boy that you’ve been dreaming of, that you loved them?”

  “But that was just in a dream. The only memories I have of my life before the crash come from my dreams.”

  “Are they just dreams, though? Okay, sit up, dear.”

  She sat up and the doctor opened the shades, the grayish light filtering into the room once more. “Olivia, when we go through a traumatic event, our bodies try to protect themselves. That includes the brain. You experienced a traumatic event when your parents died. Your brain tried to protect you by shutting out certain memories. Now your brain is showing you more about what happened that day and before, telling you it’s okay for you to face these fears of yours. I need you to start doing that.”

  “But I’ve been dreaming about other things, too. Stuff that definitely could not have happened. My father is dead so why are my dreams telling me he’s not?” Olivia questioned, staring at the doctor.

  “I don’t know, Olivia. Our brains sometimes take our deepest wishes and try to turn them into reality.”

  She sat and thought about everything that the doctor had been saying to her. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t think I can tell Alexander that I love him.”

  “But you do love him, don’t you?”

  Olivia shrugged her shoulders, hoping to avoid answering that question, desperately trying to convince herself that she didn’t love him.

  “Think about that feeling of total contentment you had when you would play music with your mother. Do you remember what that felt like? The love you felt for her?”

  “Yeah. So what?” Olivia rolled her eyes.

  “Have you ever felt something similar when you were with Alexander? And don’t focus on when you’ve been intimate together.”

  Olivia sat there and thought about it. She remembered how she felt when she abandoned Alexander all those months ago. How she felt when he found her in Florida and she lied to his face, saying she didn’t care about him. How, when she found out he was engaged, she didn’t think she would survive. How, when she came back and poured her heart out to him, he turned her away. It was painful, but was it love? Why did he have to say those three little words? Of all the words in the English language, the word “love” scared her the most.

  “Olivia, I know you. I know that you have trouble expressing your feelings normally. I know this is scary for you. Love is scary, but it’s part of the human experience.”

  Olivia remained silent, thinking about what the doctor was saying. She wasn’t just scared of her feelings for Alexander. She was petrified, worried that something would happen to him. She cared deeply for him, but would it always be enough? Olivia knew that she was an extremely frustrating woman. Would Alexander always stand by her side?

  “I’m sorry, dear,” Dr. Greenstein said, interrupting Olivia’s thoughts. “We’re out of time for today, but I want to pick this up on Thursday. In the meantime, remember that pain you felt when you walked out on Alexander back in October. And the pain you felt when you thought he was about to marry another woman. Relive that pain somehow. Remember the heartache. Think about whether that pain was from loving him, and express those feelings to him.”

  Olivia left the office, thinking about what the doctor said as Carter drove her home. She cared for Alexander, but it couldn’t be love. She made it her mission to take the next few days and really convince herself of that.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  SLIPPING AWAY

  IT WAS DAY TWO of no contact from Olivia, and Alexander thought he was going to lose his mind. He tried to respect her wishes and give her time to think about things, but it was driving him crazy.

  He had spent the last few days going through all the stuff that his father had boxed up in the safe room…photos, trinkets, and tons of paperwork. There were deeds to property owned by a corporation set up by his father years ago…the beach house on Cape Cod, the house in Mystic, a house in Charleston, a house on Folly Beach. Alexander soon found the corporate paperwork. Sarah Adler was named sole shareholder.

  He scoffed. She doesn’t even look like a Sarah!

  As he rummaged through box after box, his thoughts were consumed by Olivia and the past that she knew nothing about. He couldn’t stand the thought of another second without her. She had asked for time and Alexander wanted to give it to her, but there were more pressing issues now. He felt like she was slipping through his fingers yet again. He swore to protect her and, with the new information he had learned, that was becoming more and more difficult, particularly
considering that her true identity was known by people who could do serious harm to her. He had two of his best people on her protection detail, but he felt lost, not being able to see her himself.

  So many times he had dialed the first nine numbers of her phone number, stopping before dialing the last. How much longer could he possibly go on feeling like this and how could he possibly tell her everything now? That they were kids together? That he swore he would always protect her? That he cried at her funeral? That he never gave up hope she was alive? That his father kept her protected all those years and gave his life for hers? That her own father had found patterns in various kickbacks and government contracts? That some of these politicians were found to be in bed with known foreign terrorists? That her father had tried to force those responsible to come clean or he would expose them? That they were killed by a “cleaner” in order to silence him? That someone knew the evidence Olivia’s father had collected was never destroyed? That they seem to believe Olivia has the answer to the location of the evidence? That they would stop at nothing to destroy that evidence, including destroying anyone who got in the way?

  His cell phone rang, waking him from his thoughts. “Hey, Carol. What’s going on?”

  “Alex, thank God. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Olivia and she’s not calling me back,” she said frantically.

  Alexander stood up and walked over to his office window. “Slow down. What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

  “Simon is being released this Friday. And his lawyer was good. He got the protective order thrown out. The board agreed that he had been punished enough, and all evidence indicated that he had turned things around and that his attack on Olivia was just an isolated event. He’ll be free to contact her with no repercussions.”

  “That protective order was just a piece of paper anyway. Don’t worry. Marshall and Carter have been keeping an eye on her,” he responded dryly.

  There was a long pause. “Is everything okay, Alex? I heard about what happened. Granted, I never know if anything on those gossip websites is true.”

  Alexander slumped into his chair. “I guess it’s true. I freaked when I saw pictures of us together. There had always been some out there, but now they know her name. And, with everything going on, I was just worried for her safety. I’m pretty sure Kiddish knows who she is.”

  “You’re right about that,” Carol said.

  “Yeah. So I may have overreacted a bit, knowing that it would be even harder to protect her with her name being associated with mine. She thinks it’s because I’m ashamed of her and still sleeping with Adele and Chelsea. Which I’m not, but I know it didn’t look good.”

  “You suck with women, Alex!” Carol exclaimed.

  “Hey. Watch it!” he replied jokingly before lowering his voice. “I told her I love her, Carol.”

  The line went quiet as she processed that information. “How did that go?” she asked, finally breaking the silence.

  “She told me that I couldn’t possibly love her.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Of course I do!” Alexander shouted. “I’ve loved that girl ever since I can remember!”

  “Calm down, Alex. Are you sure your love is for her, or for the girl you knew all those years ago?”

  “It’s the same fucking person, Carol!” Alexander slammed his fist down on his desk.

  “I know that,” she replied calmly.

  “Carol, I can’t lose her again.” He exhaled loudly. “I opened the letter, and it’s so much worse than I thought. Than we both thought.”

  Alexander told her all the information he had learned, leaving out the part about Olivia’s father still being alive. Carol told him that she would look into Kiddish and see if she could come up with anything on him or his alias, Donovan O’Laughlin. Nothing had turned up in the last eight months and she wasn’t sure she would learn anything new. Their father did not know many of the details of Olivia’s father’s investigation into corruption, how high it went or who was involved, apart from basic speculation so that was a dead end.

  After a long conversation, he hung up, promising to get together with her sometime during the weekend. He flipped open his laptop and sat staring at one of the pictures that had circulated the internet over the weekend. The now infamous kiss. The photo that started everything…and ruined everything.

  Then a light went off in his head. Olivia was scared of being left alone, of being abandoned. She had admitted this many times, saying that she was trying to work through those issues, so her defense mechanism kicked in to push him away. It all became clear why she acted the way she did. She was scared to give her heart to someone only to be left alone again.

  She loved him and he knew it.

  He picked up his phone. “Mo? It’s Alex. I need a favor.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  BALL OF FIRE

  “WHY, HELLO SUNSHINE,” MO said when Olivia barged into his house around five Wednesday evening. He scowled when he saw Olivia’s face. She hadn’t been herself since Sunday. She was moody and irritable.

  “Jesus. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” Kiera joked.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Olivia glared at Kiera standing by Mo’s side. At first, she was happy when Mo and Kiera got together but, now, she was over it. If she couldn’t be happy, then no one could. And she had spent the last twenty-four hours trying to convince herself that Alexander did not make her happy and was bad for her. It wasn’t going very well.

  “Let’s get this rehearsal started,” she said before heading upstairs to Mo’s music room.

  Mo looked at Kiera for an answer as to why Olivia was so moody. “Don’t look at me,” she responded.

  “Stop talking about me behind my back!” Olivia shouted down the stairs. “And stop thinking I’m fucking crazy! I’m sick of it!”

  Photos had surfaced mid-day Sunday of Olivia storming out of Alexander’s apartment building; of him running outside minutes after she left; of him shouting on the street, shirtless; and of him sobbing outside his building. And then of Olivia getting into a cab, hence how the photographers found her at Kiera’s. The magazines took the photos and concocted some story about how Olivia couldn’t deal with the pressures of a public relationship and she cracked. She was tired of all the internet sites simply publishing one unfavorable story after another.

  Olivia set up her guitar and amp as the guys shuffled into the music room. They ran through the songs that Mo had chosen for their sets, doing Olivia’s songs first so that she could get out of there. When they finished running through the last song Olivia would perform with them, she turned to Mo. “Let’s add one more, if that’s okay.” She had calmed down significantly since first arriving at Mo’s. Music had that effect on her.

  “Sure, Livvy. Which one?”

  “That Delta Rae song we rehearsed a few weeks back. Let’s do that one.”

  Mo glared at her. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Giacomo. Damn fucking sure.” The two friends glared at each other, Olivia willing Mo to try something stupid. The other band members stared at their stand-off, wondering what was going on. With a sigh, Mo started strumming his guitar and Olivia sang.

  As she left Mo’s that evening, she noticed two black SUVs parked down the street. “Fucking stalker,” she muttered before cranking the engine to her Audi.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Nathan Roberts had been sitting in his rental sedan outside of a house in Arlington where Olivia went every Wednesday evening for band rehearsal. He continued keeping an eye on her and was aware of her and Alexander’s rather public break-up, even though the news of their relationship had only hit the gossip magazines hours beforehand.

  Just an hour after Olivia arrived at the house in Arlington, he saw her storm out, jumping in her car and speeding down the street, heading back toward the city. He was about to follow her when a black SUV peeled out, tailing her. He maintained his position, not wanting anyone to become suspicious.

  At tha
t moment, Nathan saw a man get out of another black SUV and walk up the front steps of the house that Olivia had just left. It was Alexander. He felt bad for him. He looked rather sad, his shoulders slumped forward as he waited for someone to answer the door.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “Hey, Alex,” Mo said, welcoming him into the house. Alexander turned to look at the street, noticing a gray sedan, the driver’s eyes trained on him. “The guys are upstairs. Are you sure about this?”

  He turned his head back to Mo. “Yes. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my entire life.” He grinned, following Mo up the stairs of his house.

  “What if she doesn’t go for it? I mean, she’s been a ball of fucking fire lately. Get too close and she’ll burn you, man.”

  “Mo,” Alexander turned to him, stopping at the top of the stairs. “This is true love, and it’s worth fighting for. If I don’t do this, if I don’t at least try, I will regret every second of every minute of every day for the rest of my life.”

  Kiera came out of the upstairs study, running toward Alexander. “Ooh!! Let me see! Let me see! Let me see!” she said excitedly, jumping up and down.

  Alexander reached into his pocket.

  “Oh, Alex,” she exhaled.

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  AS GOOD AS DEAD

  AFTER RETURNING HOME FROM rehearsal and making a quick dinner, Olivia walked over to her large bay window and sat down, staring at the SUV that Carter sat in, his eyes trained on the house. She was reminded of all those months ago when Alexander turned her away after she came groveling back. She remembered sitting in that exact spot, staring into Alexander’s eyes as he sat in his SUV. She recalled the pain she felt after she returned, begging him to take her back. And then the incredible hurt when he turned her away, ready to marry Chelsea. But the pain she was feeling that night was far worse. Deep down, she knew that she did love Alexander. She was just too scared to admit it. Why couldn’t she just admit that she loved him? Why was she so frightened of saying those three little words to him?