The Montana Cowboy's Heart

by Kaylie Newell

  When she’d finally reached him on the way to the hospital, he’d had a hard time telling her what had happened. It was clear that he felt responsible, but the truth was, they were all responsible. But no more than Calvin Roberson himself, who’d walked out years ago, leaving his only son with issues he’d most likely struggle with his entire life.

  Swallowing hard, she turned a corner to see the waiting room up ahead. Even with everything that had happened in his young life so far, Justine knew that Cat would be okay. Eventually, this pain would ebb, and he’d be able to see things more clearly. He’d be able to see how amazing he was, and that he wasn’t to blame for any of this. Not for his mom dying, and not for his father walking out. Those were things that had happened to him. They didn’t define him. It was a lesson she’d come to learn, too. Especially over this last year. Her time in Marietta had taught her how beautiful life could be if you just let go of all the dark things getting in the way. Porter had been a point of light for her. And so had Cat.

  She slowed as she entered the waiting room and looked around. There was a woman sitting in the corner with a little girl on her lap. An older gentleman filling up his coffee cup, who looked exhausted. There was a nurse talking to a young couple a few feet away, and there, by the window, was Porter. Standing tall and still, gazing out onto the rainy parking lot with a grim tilt to his mouth. He wasn’t wearing his Stetson, but it had left its trademark ring around his dark hair. A country halo, and to her, it couldn’t have been more fitting.

  She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

  Startling, he turned, then smiled and pulled her against his chest.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said quietly. “Brooks is holding down the fort at the ranch, and Griffin has some clients that he can’t leave just yet. But really, you’re the only person I wanted to see anyway.”

  “Same,” she said, breathing in his warm scent. Feeling his heart beat against her cheek. “I couldn’t get here fast enough.” She pulled away enough to look up at him. “How is he?”

  Porter frowned. “He has a greenstick fracture in his right arm. I had to ask what the hell that was, I had no idea. It’s a break, but not broken in half. And he has a pretty nasty bump on the head. They’re setting his arm now.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Yeah. But it could’ve been a lot worse. A whole hell of a lot worse.”

  As he said it, her stomach twisted. Then it all started playing like a grainy movie inside her head. She pictured Cat calling Alloy over to the fence. Climbing up on it and waiting until the bull was close enough to touch. Then swinging his leg over the back of the massive, muddy animal, and holding on for dear life.

  They wouldn’t know what he’d been thinking until they had a chance to talk to him. But it was obvious this had been about his father. All of his suffering had simply reached a boiling point.

  Justine felt her eyes fill with tears. Before she could help it, they rolled down her cheeks, one after the other. It was as if someone had turned on a faucet, with all the emotion from the last few weeks finally being set free. All this time, ever since her father had left her mother, she’d been careful with letting herself feel too much. Hurt too much. Love too much.

  But now, standing here in a man’s arms whom she absolutely knew she loved, she was tired of fighting it. Tired of feeling like she was holding back the tide. She just wanted to let it come, bringing with it all the things she’d been denying herself for years. Because along with potential pain, came potential happiness. Contentment. And joy.

  “Hey, hey, hey,” Porter said. He brushed his thumb underneath her bottom lashes. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from.” That was a lie. Yes, she did. She just wasn’t being open with him, honest with him, which needed to be the first step.

  “Well,” she tried again. “That’s not exactly true…”

  He lifted his brows. His eyes were so dark right then, they reminded her of water at midnight. Beautiful, reflective pools of green. The effect was pure and absolute. Her heart beat painfully inside her chest as she struggled to find the words to describe how she was feeling. And what it was she really wanted.

  She stepped back, knowing that in order to say what she needed to, she was going to have to do it without his arms around her. She needed this to be scary. She needed to put something on the line here, in order for it to mean what it should.

  Clasping her hands in front of her belly, she took a steadying breath. It seemed like she couldn’t get enough oxygen into her lungs. It just floated over them in an invisible cloud, leaving her shaking and breathless.

  “I thought I had it all figured out,” she said, her voice low. “Before I moved to Marietta. Before Cat came to stay with me. Before I met you.”

  He gazed down at her, his jaw working. But he stayed quiet, waiting for her to go on.

  “I’ve spent so much time running away from life, that I honestly think I’ve forgotten how to live it,” she continued. “Going to England, that’s been a dream of mine ever since I can remember, but—”

  “I’m going to stop you right there.”

  She looked up at him questioningly.

  “I need to interrupt you,” he said, “because I should say this before you get anything else out. No matter what it is you’re about to say.”

  “Okay…” She waited, every nerve ending in her body jumping.

  “I should’ve told you this a while ago. I should’ve told you that night in the hotel, but I didn’t know how to without scaring the hell out of you. And scaring the hell out of me to be completely honest. But this morning at the auction, it just hit me.” He paused. Then cleared his throat before going on. “I watched while Cat was so damn brave. He was so brave, and I realized I’ve just been… Well, I’ve been chickenshit,” he said evenly.

  She felt the corners of her mouth tilt at that.

  “I found my mom,” he continued. “And that was good, I guess. Because that was about me starting to open the door to people… But then she didn’t show, and I just ended up closing it again.” He smiled down at her. “Do you see where I’m going with this?”

  “I think I do. I hope I do.”

  He looked over as a doctor walked past. Justine’s stomach curled into a tight little knot as she thought of Cat’s broken arm. As she absorbed everything Porter was saying. It was almost too much, and she felt her knees begin to shake underneath her.

  Porter looked back down at her. Then reached for her hand. He rubbed her knuckles with his thumb, and it was almost like he was massaging her heart instead. How she ever thought she could deny herself his touch without at least fighting for it first, was beyond her comprehension. It was time to fight like hell.

  “Porter,” she began. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Okay. But first I want to ask you to stay…”

  She stared up at him.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I should’ve asked after that first kiss. Because that’s when I think I knew.”

  The knot in her stomach eased. And then there were butterflies. What felt like dozens and dozens of them, brushing up against her rib cage with their velvety wings.

  He wanted her to stay. He’d actually said it. Even though he had no idea if they’d even work as a couple. Even though he wasn’t sure how she felt, he’d taken the chance. He’d taken the chance on her.

  He pulled her closer, until her hips rubbed up against his belt buckle. It was cold and rigid, and the feel of it through her clothes was surprisingly erotic.

  “The thing is, Justine,” he said, “that I’m in love with you. And I think you belong here in Marietta. With me.”

  She loved those words. She wanted to soak them in. Let them fill her to the brim.

  “I think you might be right,” she said quietly.

  He watched her; his big hand splayed across her lower back.

  “And what I wanted to tell you,” she said,
“is that I’m going to cancel my trip.” She found that her voice was shaking right along with her knees. But not with apprehension. With joy. She’d wanted this all along. She hadn’t wanted to leave. She’d been wanting to stay.

  “It’s early enough that they’ll be able to get someone else,” she continued. “I’ll end up going eventually, but not to run away from something. To run toward it. That’s how it should be, right?”

  Porter smiled. Sexy crinkles radiated from the corners of his eyes; dimples cut into each stubbled cheek. He was gorgeous. And she realized at that moment, that he could eventually be hers. If things worked out the way she hoped they might.

  “And I want to ask Nola if I can keep Cat through high school,” she finished. “I want to help her raise him in Marietta. If that’s what he wants, too.”

  Porter pulled in a breath and turned to look out the window. When he exhaled, she felt some of the tension go out of his body. Tension she hadn’t realized had been there until right then.

  When he turned back at her, there was something in his eyes that she recognized instantly. She recognized it because she was feeling it, too. It was relief.

  “Well,” he said, in his low drawl. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  “You were?”

  “Yeah. And it’s convenient, too, because now I don’t have to haul you both over my shoulder to keep you here.”

  She laughed, leaning into him.

  “Seriously, though,” he said, his smile fading a little. “Nobody has ever put anything on the line for me before. Not like this. And I’d bet Cat feels the same.”

  “I just hope…I just hope he’ll want to stay. Nola and I talked about it the other day. Hypothetically. She wants whatever will make him happiest, and so do I. We just have to figure out what that is.”

  “The most important thing is that he’ll have a choice. Which he hasn’t had in a while.”

  She nodded at that. It was the truth. He’d been denied the one thing that might’ve made him feel more in control all this time. It couldn’t have been helped, though. Nola had done the best she could. Justine had tried her best, too. But now, with her decision not to take this job, so many more doors would be open to Cat that hadn’t been before. The thought made her heart happy.

  They stood there in each other’s arms. Porter rested his chin on the top of her head, and she lay her cheek against his chest. She stared out the window to the parking lot, to the rain pattering against the window, to the soft, gauzy clouds cloaking the blue mountains in the distance. It was the prettiest she’d ever seen Marietta look.

  She exhaled softly. Or maybe it was just the fact that she felt more at home here now than ever before. She realized then how lucky she was. She’d reconciled with her dad—a huge step toward healing that she’d been needing to take for a long time. She had her sister, whom she adored. She had her little house, a job that she loved. And now, she had the possibility of a new love story. Her love story. It was more than she’d ever hoped for.

  “Mr. Cole?”

  They both turned at the sound of the voice behind them. There, standing a few feet away was a nurse in pink scrubs.

  “Yes?” Porter said.

  “Cat is in recovery. He’s a little groggy, but you can see him now.”

  *

  Justine sat beside the hospital bed, watching Cat begin to open his eyes. His lids would flutter momentarily, and then close again, his lashes strawberry-blond smudges against his freckled cheeks.

  His arm was tucked securely beside him, wrapped in a blue cast. The bump on his head was in the process of turning purple, but by tomorrow morning it would be black and blue. But other than those two things, and some dried mud in his hair, he looked perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, which, under the circumstances, was a miracle.

  Justine looked over at Porter, who was standing by the window. He stared down at Cat, his jaw working. She knew what he was thinking, because she was thinking it, too. Thank God. Thank God it wasn’t any worse.

  Cat moaned softly and opened his eyes again. Before Justine could reach out to take his hand, his chin began trembling.

  “Hey,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”

  Porter pulled a chair up to the bed. “It’s alright, Champ.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Hey, now.” Porter leaned closer and tweaked his nose. “You probably gave Alloy the thrill of his life. You can only stand in a pasture eating apples for so long before you start getting a little bored, right? And who knows, maybe he’s destined to be a rodeo bull after all.”

  Cat’s face crumpled. “You’re not mad at him, are you? It wasn’t his fault.”

  “No, he was only doing what bulls do. It confused him is all. But he’s so big. We’re just lucky he didn’t step on you when you fell off.”

  “I know,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “I wasn’t planning on doing it. It just…kind of happened. He got so close to the fence, and I wanted to see what it felt like. To be my dad for just a second.”

  Porter and Justine looked at each other. Her heart beat slowly, painfully, and with each beat, she could feel her blood whoosh through her veins. Poor Cat. Poor, sweet little kid, who only wanted his father in his life.

  He was in so much pain. Emotional pain, and now physical pain, too… It was such a tangled web, that Justine knew it would be hard to work him free. But if he stayed with her in Marietta, if he could keep spending time at the ranch, she felt like they’d be heading in the right direction.

  Cat reached up and wiped his cheeks with his free hand. “I guess this means you’re not gonna trust me around the animals anymore, right?”

  Porter frowned. “That’s not what it means at all. You made a mistake. You paid a price, and you learned from it. I trust you, Champ.”

  This kindness didn’t seem to be what Cat expected, because he started crying in earnest then—big, hiccupping sobs that broke Justine’s heart.

  “Hey.” Porter handed him a tissue from the box next to the bed. “You had a jolt today, kiddo. Several jolts, actually. It’s going to be okay. Justine and I are here for you no matter what. We care about you, and we’re not going anywhere.”

  “But Justine is,” Cat said, his voice cracking. “She’s leaving and I’ll be leaving, and I’ll miss it here so much.” He looked over at Justine miserably. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you feel bad for leaving. And I don’t want to hurt my grandma’s feelings. She doesn’t have anybody but me, and I need to go back and be with her, but…but…” He let his voice trail off, as the tears streamed down his face.

  Justine reached for his hand again. “What would you say if I didn’t leave, Cat?”

  He gazed up at her. “What?”

  “How would you feel if I decided to stay?”

  “Because of me? Because I’m crying like a baby?”

  She laughed. “No. Because I want to stay.”

  He stared at her, his mouth hanging open.

  “Life is short, buddy,” she continued. “I don’t want to miss out on the things that make me the happiest. And I’ve realized that you make me happy. Having you live with me makes me happy. Getting to spend time at the ranch with Porter, that makes me happy, too.”

  “But what about London? I know you were excited to go.”

  “I was. And I am. I’ll go, but not right now. And if I’m lucky, I’ll still have a job at Marietta Middle next year. Maybe not teaching the same grade, but close…”

  He blinked at her. “So you might stay…and I might get to come visit after I go back to Missoula?”

  “Well, here’s the thing…” She glanced over at Porter, who was looking back. “I was thinking you might stay with me. For as long as you wanted. Through high school, maybe. Until you graduate.”

  “For good?”

  “Well, until graduation.” She winked. “And then I’d kick you right out.”

  He grinned. And then, his expression fell again. “But
my grandma…”

  “I’ve already talked to her about this, Cat. She would miss you, for sure. But she knows how much you love it here, and she wants you to be happy. I know you’re worried about her being lonely, but she could come visit all the time. I’ll have the guest room all made up; it can be all hers. And we can go to Missoula to see her, too. Every weekend, if you want.”

  He seemed to consider this.

  Justine squeezed his hand. “Your grandma is getting better. She’s loved raising you—you’ve been the joy of her life. I know it’s hard to think about it this way, honey, but she could also use some time now for herself. To do the things she’s always wanted to do.”

  Cat raised his brows, clearly not having thought of this before. “Like what?”

  “Well, I know she’s been wanting to travel. To join some clubs. And you know how she’s always talked about getting a tiny house? She was even thinking of buying one, and some property with a view. Having you here would give her some freedom that she hasn’t had in a while. I think it might be like giving her a gift in a way. Now that she has her health back, she can have some adventures back, too. Does that make sense?”

  He nodded slowly. And then he smiled again. This time, wide and true. “You’d really want me?”

  “I’d really want you.”

  Justine’s phone buzzed from her pocket, and she let go of Cat’s hand to fish it out.

  She swiped her thumb over the screen to see a text from Nola. Her stomach dropped. She’d been so focused on getting to the hospital, that she’d forgotten to call her. She’d need to step out in the hallway to explain everything. There was a lot to unpack.

  But before she could stand up, she opened the text and read the whole thing.

  Leaving a friend’s house, no service. Hope this goes through. Calvin just called. He’s looking for Cat…

  Chapter Twenty

  Porter hung up with Griffin, then looked down at Justine, who was tugging nervously on a strand of dark hair.

  “What’d he say?” she asked quietly. They’d left Cat’s room a few minutes ago, and were standing in the hallway, so there was no chance he could hear. But it didn’t matter, she was in full protective mode. Porter knew if she could, she’d roll Cat up in some Bubble Wrap. He’d had enough shocks for one day.