by Desiree Holt
“You’re right,” he agreed. “It’s a very creative profession.”
“So, in my private life, I thought I needed something very structured, very precise. Someone else making the decisions.” Another deep breath. “But I realized, after some time, that what I want in my sex life—in my personal life—was something completely opposite. I discovered being in charge enhanced my creative side. I could be the one in control and earn trust instead of giving it.” She gave a short laugh. “Although I guess that really works both ways. The trust, I mean.”
He squeezed her hand gently. “Yes, it does.”
“Anyway.” She sipped at her coffee. “When I set up the first appointment at Rawhide I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I like the role reversal? Would the sub I met be weak? Strong? Would I even like the person?” She looked at him earnestly. “That’s very important to me, Ethan. The liking, I mean.”
“I understand.”
“And it had to be someone who respects the fact that I seldom take the lifestyle outside the house. Certainly not in my work. I deal with demanding clients, so I thought, in my private life, I wanted the same thing. Then I discovered, after too long a time, I was wrong. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He sighed. “Yes, I do. I have to maintain control in every other area of my life, also. Giving it up to the right person is more satisfying to me than anything else.”
“Yes. It took me a long time to realize I was in the wrong role.” She fiddled with her silverware, something to do with her hands. “What I didn’t expect was to…connect with someone the way we did. To have these…feelings for you that I’m not sure what to do with. But what bothers me is the sense you are always holding one part of yourself back. That you’ll never be all in with anyone. If you agree we have this…connection, how can we move ahead with it when you’re not all in?”
They were interrupted again while the waitress took their order. Neither of them had studied the menu so they both ordered the special. When the waitress had taken the menus and left, Ethan leaned across the table. He’d never released his hold on her hand. Dani waited in an agony of suspense while he studied her face, wondering if he was going to say thanks but no thanks, get up and walk out. Or something else.
“I agree there’s something special between us,” he said at last. “To be truthful, it scares the hell out of me. Let me tell you about myself so maybe you can see why.” Idly he stirred his coffee. “First of all, I’m an attorney. International law.”
Her eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline. “Attorney?”
Not a career she’d have expected from him. Still, she could see him in the role now that he’d brought it out into the open.
He gave a rueful smile. “Doesn’t quite go with the sub image, right? You can see why I have to be so careful. I specialize in international law and both my partners and my clients would see this as a weakness.” Letting go of her hand, he leaned back in his chair. “It’s why I’ve never allowed myself the privilege of a long-term relationship. I’ve never met anyone I could trust to keep our personal life separate from everything else, to control the overt need to dominate in the presence of others not in the life. To be in control outside the bedroom. That works for a lot of couples, but not for me. It’s why I always hold that little piece of myself back. It allows me to enjoy being a sub without worrying about what happens next. What if the person I’m in a long term relationship with wants the D/s rules to apply outside the bedroom? So you see, you and I worry about the same thing but for different reasons.”
Dani nodded. “I’ve been lucky with my Masters. They’ve all respected my boundaries.” She lifted her coffee cup to her lips, not sure what to say next.
“Dani.”
When she looked up, his eyes were burning into hers and what she saw there was hunger, need, desire, and…and no sign of restraint.
Wow! And holy hell!
****
Ethan hoped he hadn’t made a mistake, telling Dani he would let go for her. But when she looked at him, his heart cracked wide open.
Son of a bitch.
Since that first night she invaded both his waking moments and his dreams. It distracted him when he needed to concentrate and threatened the part of himself he kept locked away. Exposing himself to her like this was a risk, but the alternative was not to see her again, and he couldn’t accept that.
“Let’s acknowledge there’s something here that neither of us looked for or expected.” He held himself still as he waited for her answer, scarcely able to breathe. She’d said the words first. He hoped she meant them. “But something that obviously we both want.”
She stared at him for a long moment. Then she smiled. “Yes. You’re right.”
Every muscle in his body relaxed. “I was afraid you’d get up and walk out.”
“I worried about the same thing.”
He laughed. “Not even an option. I want to pursue this, but let’s put one condition in place. If it doesn’t work, we each go our own way and respect the other’s need for confidentiality.”
“All right.” She nodded. “I’d like that, too.”
Thank god. Because I can’t wait for you to tie me up and use my body any way it pleases you. I will walk naked in the house, fuck you ten times a day, eat your pussy every morning if you desire that. And I will take care of you if you let me. And you may punish me in a suitable way any time I disappoint you. As long as it doesn’t spill over into our public life.
“But Ethan?”
He tensed. Was she changing her mind? Setting restrictions that would doom them before they even got started? “Yes, Mistress?”
The word fell automatically from his lips, even though they were in a public place.
“I sense a great strength in you and a need to protect your Mistress.” She wet her lips. “I don’t want you to lose that.”
He thought his smile would crack his cheeks. “I can assure you that won’t happen.” Then his face sobered. “Mistress—Dani—I have such intense feelings for both of you.
Mischief danced in her eyes. “Then I suggest we finish our brunch. I have some excellent ideas on how to spend the rest of the weekend.”
Chapter Seven
At first, they tried an overnight. Then a weekend. There had been a lot of testing of each other, checking boundaries, seeing how far they could push each other. How much more they could trust each other. Trying each other out, in private and in public. And because Ethan had more to lose than Dani, he was the one to hold back the most, waiting to make sure she understood his needs outside the bedroom and was fine with them.
They had been together for three weeks when they met some of Ethan’s friends for dinner. It took a while for her to relax, but then she slid into the flow of the evening. Unfortunately she caught him watching her several times, as if waiting for her to open her mouth and expose him, embarrass him in front of friends. She was angry at the complete lack of trust that she’d worked so hard to earn that she could barely contain herself until they were back at her place. As she stripped off her clothes, she discarded, with them, her public persona. She faced him, hands on hips, wearing just her bra and bikini panties.
“I do believe you were pushing for punishment tonight, sub. Am I correct?”
At first his jaw dropped in astonishment. Then a tiny gleam sparked in his eyes. “Maybe I was. What particular sin did I commit?”
“You spent the entire evening watching me, alert, as if waiting for me to take out my virtual whip in front of the others.” She waited with barely controlled impatience for him to answer.
“I am sorry, Mistress. I wasn’t aware I was doing it.”
“Do you have so little trust in me that you think I would ignore what we have and embarrass you in front of others?”
He bowed his head. “I’m sorry, Mistress. It won’t happen again.”
“Without trust, there is nothing.” She paused. “Do you understand?”
“I do. It’s been…diffic
ult for me to believe, that’s all. But it’s me, not you.”
“Perhaps suitable punishment will help you understand the meaning of trust.” She studied him as he stood before her, stripped naked, hands behind his back. “Shower and return to this room. Bring a towel but do not dry off first.”
He cast her a curious look but went into the bathroom to follow her orders. Dani pulled out the very short, very sheer black nightie that Ethan had told her fit her Mistress personality to a T. Then she took her choice of toys from the dresser drawer, waiting for Ethan to return.
Then he stood in the doorway to the bathroom, water dripping down his hard. Defined muscles, his cock erect, she had to exert control to keep from pushing him down and climbing onto him. Instead, she pulled in a deep breath.
“Come forward.” She motioned with her fingers. “Right here in front of me.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Pull back the covers on the bed, cover them with the towel and kneel at the side.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
When he was in position, she walked behind him, studying his finely sculpted ass.
“Twenty lashes,” she told him. “The water on your skin will enhance the sharp bite. Count with me and remember that each one is for your lack of trust in me tonight.”
He crossed his arms in front of him and placed his forehead on his forearms, body tense to receive the smack of the whip.
Dani drew the leather strips across his skin almost as a caress, pulled her arm back, and struck the first blow.
“One.” His deep voice mingled with hers. His hands tightened into fists as the leather bit sharply into the wet skin.
Red bloomed on his skin, and her pussy throbbed in response.
“Two.” The second ark of the lash joined the first, and as Ethan counted with her, his voice vibrated through her as if his lips were actually touching her.
By the time she reached twenty, every inch of skin covering his buttocks flamed and she was so aroused she could hardly wait to feel his cock inside her.
“Stand up,” she commanded, “and place yourself on the bed, on your back.”
He obeyed in silence, lying down until his toned body was displayed for her pleasure. She straddled him, leaving her sheer nightie in place and rolling a condom onto his thick shaft.
“This is for me,” she told him, “because I feel you disrespected me tonight. You will not come until I give you permission.”
“Of course, Mistress.” Hunger and heat swirled in his eyes as she lowered herself onto him.
“Remember that, because if you forget I will have to find a different punishment for you. Perhaps I might not allow you to reach an orgasm for a week.”
His eyes widened at the threat and power surged through her. Yes, being a Mistress was what she was born for. “Hands behind your head, or I will handcuff them to the headboard.”
When he had done as she ordered, she began a steady rhythm, riding him, slowly at first, but as the need built, as her body responded, she moved faster. His shaft filled her, the friction against her inner walls making her nipples ache. Another time she would have leaned forward and ordered him to suck them but not tonight. Tonight was about punishing him, not enhancing her sexual pleasure.
Her gaze never left Ethan’s as her climax began to build deep inside her. It thrummed through her body, spiraling higher and higher. His facial muscles tightened, and his breathing became more intense, but he held himself still just as she’d commanded.
“I’m going to come,” she told him in a breathless tone. “But not you. Do not come.”
“Mistress,” he began.
“No. Do not speak or no orgasms for a week.”
She braced herself on his chest as her release roared through her, the muscles of her pussy clenching his shaft again and again until at last she was spent. The entire time he never took his eyes off her. When she could catch her breath again, she lifted herself from his body, removed the condom, and disposed of it. She saw the questioning look in his eyes as he realized she would not allow him to climax. She was determined that he would remember for every minute of the night how disrespected she had felt. How hurt she was that he hadn’t trusted her behavior in public.
When he saw her lift the cock ring from the dresser, his eyes widened and heat stained his cheeks red. His shaft was so swollen she had to pull and tug to fit the apparatus on him and buckled the straps.
“On your knees,” she ordered.
Swallowing a groan, he turned over and did as she asked. In the nightstand drawer, she found the plug and lubricant she wanted and covered the toy with the slick substance. She applied more to her finger and slid it into his hot, tight channel. His entire body tensed as he realized what was coming.
“Relax, sub. If you tighten up, this will hurt. And that’s not the kind of pain I want for you.”
“I’ll try, Mistress,” he groaned. “But I want to come almost more than I want my next breath.”
“Perhaps this will be a reminder not to displease me. Breathe in, breathe out.”
He inhaled deeply, and on the exhale, she spread the cheeks of his ass and slowly inserted the plug. A soft groan rumbled up from him.
“Be happy I didn’t use the vibrating one,” she teased. Then she climbed into bed beside him, reached over and stroked his face. “You may go to sleep now. Pleasant dreams.”
He had rolled to his side, barely stifling a groan of protest.
“Mistress.” His voice was rough and harsh.
“In the morning, we will finish. Think about this the next time you disrespect me by not trusting my behavior toward you in public.
She awoke as the sun was filtering in trough the blinds. Ethan was beside her, his body tense, his breathing harsh. Time to reward him, she told herself as she reached in the drawer for a condom.
“What will you remember?” she asked, lying on her back as he slid into her.
“That no matter where we are I trust you to live up to our promises.”
“Being a Mistress in public is not what does it for me, Ethan. Remember that.” Then she wrapped her legs around him, dug her heels into the small of his back, and pulled him tight to her as the orgasm claimed them both.
That night had been a turning point for them. There were other signs that this relationship was solidifying. Ethan began bringing her one red rose each time he picked her up at her place, always with a card on which he’d written something special. It seemed that now she was the one holding back, waiting for the other shoe to fall. He knew it, too. In the bedroom he went out of his way to show her he was all hers, every bit of him.
Little by little the trust grew until one night he told her one of his partners was hosting a small private dinner party at his home.
“Is this some kind of test, Ethan? To see if I behave myself with them?”
He grabbed her by the arms and tugged her so close to him her breasts pressed into his chest. “There are no more tests, Dani. None. I trust you. One hundred percent. I am all in.”
The night of the event, she was a bundle of nerves, reminding herself she would be on display. Actually, both she and Ethan. This would be the first time the partners had seen them as a couple. She quelled both her nerves and her excitement, dressing with great care to impress the people in Ethan’s world. It pleased her to see him so relaxed throughout the evening, laughing and joking, his arm around her or his hand possessively at the small of her back. Fetching her a drink. Fixing her napkin. And it wasn’t just she’s mine. It was I’m hers. A blatant statement. If they hadn’t been surrounded by people who were strangers to her, she would have kissed him.
When he brought her home, it was understood he would spend the night. When he followed her into the bedroom, he turned her to face him and tilted up her face to his. “No heavy play tonight. Tonight we’re Dani and Ethan, not Mistress and sub. Does that work for you?”
She realized this was a first for them, and her heart beat faster. “Yes,” she w
hispered. “Yes, it does.”
“Tonight I’m in charge.”
She nodded.
“Good.”
He lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers, his lips warm and smooth. Deepening the kiss, he released the clip holding her hair and threaded his fingers through the heavy strands. His tongue slid into her mouth, dancing with hers, enticing it, licking every inner surface. When he broke the kiss, they were both breathless.
He undressed her slowly, kissing every bit of her skin as he exposed it, sliding her dress off, and letting it pool on the floor. His eyes darkened at the sight of her breasts swelling over the lace cups of her bra. Holding her in place, he took one nipple into his mouth, fabric and all, and sucked hard. Heat streaked to her pussy, and her inner muscles quivered in response. He tugged on that hardened tip and grazed it with his teeth, finally biting down just enough to cause pleasurable pain, before he turned his attention to the other one.
By the time he unclasped her bra and tossed it aside, her nipples ached and her pussy throbbed with incessant need.
Kneeling, he helped her out of her shoes and brushed them and the pooled fabric of her dress to the side. Then, holding her hips in his long fingers, he drew the tip of his tongue across the lace trim on the bikini panties before thrusting it into her slit, fabric and all. He hummed his satisfaction as he rubbed up and down, abrading her clit with each movement.
She clung to his shoulders, shaking so hard with need her legs trembled.
At last he rose, lifted her, and carried her to the bed, dragging the covers aside. When he had her placed exactly as he wanted her, he stripped off his own clothes and climbed onto the bed, kneeling between her thighs.
“Gorgeous,” he breathed as he stared at her exposed pussy. Bending low, he spread the swollen lips and lapped the length of her slit, once, twice, sending shivers through her body.
Her pulse beat so hard it was everywhere in her body, shaking her with need.
Ethan stroked her inner thighs, smoothing his palms over the tender skin before lifting her legs and placing them on his shoulders. He slid his warm palms beneath the cheeks of her ass to lift her up to him and thrust his tongue inside her with one liquid slide.
