First Days

by C. L. Stone

  “I’ll go,” North said.

  “We’re going inside and starting homework,” Kota said. “Sang goes home by herself. If her mom is watching out for her, the last thing she needs is to show up with someone.” Kota picked up my violin case for me. I put my book bag on and took the case from him. He tucked his head closer to mine. “Call if you can’t come out. If you can though, run back. We’ve got stuff to go over. Bring your homework.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said, offering a short salute.

  Silas and North laughed behind him.

  Kota smirked. He stretched his arms around me, hugging me to him. “Be careful, will you?”

  I hurried up the road, steeling myself against what might be waiting for me. I might need to go grab my phone and put it in my pocket before I faced off downstairs. If I ended up on my knees again, I’d need to reach Kota so he didn’t worry. I crossed my fingers that I hadn’t been missed.

  When I got home, I opened the side door quietly and stood in the doorway to listen. The house was silent. I crept up the back staircase and padded down the hallway to my bedroom.

  My door was open. I paused in the hallway, listening. There was a creak of the floor in my bedroom. I quietly slipped into the bathroom across the hall to hide myself, closing the door.

  Inside the bathroom, I dropped my things into the tub to hide them. I checked myself in the mirror, rinsed my face with water and patted my cheeks dry. If it was my mother, I’d have the excuse that I was fresh from the bathroom. If it was Marie, I wasn’t sure what would happen. I opened the door and tried to appear nonplussed.

  I stepped across the hall to peek through my open door at an angle. Marie was in there, her head and shoulders leaning into my closet.

  “Need something?” I asked, trying to sound casual. I wanted to be peeved that she was digging through my things but there were more important things to worry about at the moment.

  Marie half jumped but when she spotted me, she frowned. “Where have you been?”

  “A teacher held me back in class so long that I missed the bus.” Technically this was true.

  Marie raised an eyebrow. “It’s like five miles away.”

  “Yes.” I realized I left her with the impression I’d walked home but I didn’t have another answer that was better. I was getting as bad as the guys, like how they let Hendricks and McCoy think I was from the Academy. Was that easier on them or did they have another reason to hold back the truth?

  Marie seemed to consider this. “I was looking for clothes. Mine are all dirty.”

  “There’s a washing machine downstairs.”

  “There’s this one shirt I was looking for,” she said. “A green one with buttons.”

  I thought about it. “That old thing? It’s in my trunk. It doesn’t fit me anymore.”

  Marie turned from the closet and headed to my trunk. I went back to the bathroom to grab my things. She might have believed me about the walk home, but I couldn’t leave if she was still lingering in my room.

  I returned to drop my book bag and the violin case on my bed while she spilled clothes out of the trunk, fingering around the clothes for the one she wanted. She pulled the green shirt out and held it up. She bent over to strip her t-shirt off in front of me. I turned, avoiding watching to give her some semblance of privacy even if she disregarded modesty around me. She slipped on the green shirt. The hem grazed her belly button and the sleeves were tight at her shoulders.

  “It doesn’t fit,” I said. I noted the mess she left on the floor but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the time for that fight.

  “It does,” she said. She smoothed out the fabric and stood up. “Are you going to that boy’s house?”

  I blinked at her. That was an opening line for negotiation. She wanted something so she was going to see if I was willing to play along. “Were you going to Danielle’s?”

  She nodded. Her brown eyes narrowed at me. “Mom’s passed out still,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for you to show up. If we’re going to go out, we need a system.”

  “I agree.” This was perfect. This was what we’ve needed to go over.

  “Make sure the side door and the back door by the porch are unlocked all the time,” she said. “Dad locks it at night. Check my room. If I’m not back at night, unlock it when he’s clear. I’m thinking I might spend the weekend over there.”

  The entire weekend? She was crazy. Even I knew better. “You should show up on occasion,” I said. “If you pop in and check on her, she’s less likely to call after you during the day. Do it once and you should be good for the night.” I thought about mentioning the roof but I didn’t want to reveal that just now. Besides, unless someone was helping her, she might fall off. “Is there a house key somewhere around here?”

  “Mom keeps one in her side table drawer.”

  I nodded, kicking my sandals off and putting them aside. “I’m going to get it. I’ll make a copy. Do you have any money?”

  Marie fished in her pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill and slowly handed it off. “How are you making a copy?”

  “I think I can ask Kota to make one. It’ll be missing for the day. Cross your fingers that she won’t notice,” I said. I took the money from her, knowing this little amount was probably everything she had. We rarely got money. How would we spend it since we didn’t go anywhere? “I’ll see if I can get two and I’ll bring you back change. If not, it’ll be just one and we’ll hide it in the garage or something.”

  Marie nodded.

  I tilted my head toward the hallway. “Get out the door. I’ll give you a head start before I go to mom’s room. If I wake her up on accident, I’ll tell her I saw you going for a walk or something.”

  Marie slipped off down the hallway and to the back stairs. I waited until I heard the side door shut. Negotiations were over. As long as Marie didn’t get caught at anything, she didn’t have a reason to tattle on me. However, even with a plan for a copy of a key and a new alliance, I knew I had to be extra careful now. If she got caught, she had more evidence on my part to take me down with her.

  I quieted my thoughts to focus, listening to the empty house. I probably should have sent a text to Kota but I wanted to get that key and get out quickly. I grabbed the phone, stuffing it into the cup of my bra. I was going to take a big risk. For prisoners like us, a key would be like gold.

  I used the back stairs, taking the long way across the house. I slipped past the kitchen and as soon as I knew I was within earshot of my parents’ bedroom, I started to creep along the edge of the hallway. Outside her open door, I peered in.

  She was on her back, her mouth hanging open. Her hair was matted in the low ponytail at her neck. She breathed steadily. Her television was off. This would be trickier. I had no cover noise to mask me now.

  I started by getting on my knees and crawling to the foot of her bed. It was a slow process as I didn’t know her floor well enough to know where it creaked. I touched the surface of the beige carpet with my palm, putting pressure on it. When it felt like it wouldn’t make a noise, I stretched a foot out to place next to my palm, in a crab walk motion. At the foot of her bed, I stretched out to see around the edge.

  Her nightstand drawer was closed. The top of it was covered in orange prescription bottles, a collection of bottled water, and random notes she wrote to herself about doctor appointments. I swallowed and listened to her breathing. I counted off to three in my head to pressure myself into moving. I crawled closer, ducking my head low and pressing myself against the side of the bed and out of view as much as possible.

  When I was close enough, I situated myself on my back so I could look at the underneath of the drawer. Drawer opening was complicated. There were only rare occasions that I ever needed to sneak into my parents’ bedroom for things while they were there. Usually it was any form of money my sister and I could get our hands on that was meant for school and our parents had told us no. Most of the time it was Marie that needed it and I went to fet
ch it. I was punished often in the past because I got caught at something similar. I knew if they found out I was collecting a house key, there wouldn’t be an excuse I could make up. They would know for certain I would be using it to sneak out of the house at late hours. It would be unacceptable.

  On my back, I could look up at the drawer. I used my palms to press gently on either side. I waited, listened for my mom’s breathing and tried sliding it out.

  The slip of wood against wood squeaked through the silence. I froze, holding my breath.

  When nothing happened, I tried again. It was a tricky balancing act. I couldn’t let the wood rest on the rail of the drawer to pull it out and I couldn’t lift too high to allow the wood to scrape against the top of the table. This time I did it slowly, and while my hands shook, I managed to half open the drawer without another sound.

  I wanted to sigh, but held it in to keep the sound minimal. I slipped out from under the drawer and got on my knees. My eyes fell on my mom’s face and her closed eyes. I wished she was breathing louder or even snoring right now. Snoring was good. It meant a deeper sleep.

  The open drawer was in shadow, and at first there wasn’t a sign of a key, only more orange prescription bottles and a packet of tissues and old batteries. I cursed to myself, wondering if Marie might have been mistaken and there might not have been a key here at all.

  I started emptying the contents. It was always better to lift than to move things over. If I had been looking for prescription pills, I would have had an easier time. The empty ones I could easily place on the carpet. The ones with pills still inside required slow movements and careful placement.

  The process was tedious. After the sixteenth bottle, I was about to give up and put it all back when I spotted the edge of teeth belonging to a silver house key closer to the back. I would have to empty out her entire drawer to get to it.

  Something creaked in the house and there was whoosh of the air conditioner starting up. It spooked me so badly that I nearly dropped the half full bottle of pills I was holding. I grasped the bottle in my hands, trying to deaden the sound and held my breath.

  My mother didn’t stir. With the noise from the air conditioner, I couldn’t hear her breathing but I caught the way her chest moved, slight but steady.

  I knew the air conditioner ran for a couple of minutes before shutting off again. I took advantage of the extra white noise and quickly pulled out enough bottles that I could ease my hand in and pick up the key. I slipped the key between my lips, tasting the sharp metal on my tongue. I managed to get all the bottles in and get on my back again to close the drawer before the air conditioner shut off.

  I crawled back. In my hurry to escape, I accidentally stepped in a spot that squeaked. I froze, bending down on the floor farther and out of sight from the head of the bed.

  My mother stirred. My heart thumped wildly and I held my breath again, hoping she was just turning over.

  “Sang,” my mother called out. “Sang!”

  I paused, counting off the amount of seconds I suspected it would take me to come down the stairs if she called for me. I blew out a slow breath, forcing myself to calm and I stood up quickly, taking a large leap backward so I was closer to the door.

  My mother was on her back with her eyes closed. I pushed a palm to my chest. I clasped the key in my other hand, tucking it behind my back. “Yes?” I said softly. I was hoping she had fallen asleep again.

  My mother’s eyelids dragged up. She eyes focused on me. “Is your sister home?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Is your room clean?”

  I tried to hide my smile. “Almost.”

  “Don’t leave your room until it’s done.”

  I ran from her bedroom, and up the front stairs. I dumped books from my bag I didn’t need, recollected the ones I had homework for and replaced my bag on my shoulders. I was shaking but my mother didn’t call out again for Marie or for anything else.

  I slipped out the back door and sprinted for Kota’s.

  I hit the doorbell at the door inside Kota’s garage. I stood back to wait and was surprised to see Silas answer. His broad smile lit up as he saw me.

  “Hey,” he said. “You made it.”

  I nodded, smiling back to suppress my nervousness. I was so happy to see him, even though I’d seen him less than an hour ago. After sneaking around my mother’s room and almost getting caught, I was on edge.

  He stepped out of the way so I could get in. He closed the door and nudged me toward Kota’s bedroom. I thudded my way up the stairs and he followed, closing Kota’s door behind us and hitting the lock.

  At the top of the stairs, Kota looked over from his desk. He flashed a smile at me. North appeared half asleep on Kota’s bed, the pillow stuffed between his arm and his forehead. I felt a wash of comfort being in the cozy security of this bedroom. The grave difference between my parents’ house, where I walked on egg shells and kept secret diaries in code and didn’t see my family for long periods of time, compared to Kota, North and the others made my heart trip. Why couldn’t I feel this safe and wanted all the time?

  “I was worried something happened,” Kota said. He pushed his glasses up his nose.

  “Got caught up,” I said. I dropped my bag and pulled the key from its side pocket. “Do you know where I can get a key made?”

  North half yawned and turned, holding out a hand out for it. “What’s it for?”

  I crossed the room and placed it in his palm. “It’s the house key.” I pulled out the ten that Marie gave me and held it to him. “Marie wants a copy. I should get one, too. I didn’t want to tell her about the roof thing.”

  Silas chucked behind me. “She’s getting as bad as you.”

  I held out the ten for North but he waved me off, shoving the key into his pocket. “When do you need it back?” he asked.

  “It can wait overnight,” I said. I crumpled the ten dollars at him and tossed it at his chest. “And you’re not making keys out of thin air so I know it’ll cost something to make.”

  He caught the bill and then tossed it back at my head. “Hang on to it. You might need it later. I can get you some damn keys.”

  I mustered up a glare for him and North glowered right back. My blood pumped in my veins. They had no idea what I had to go through to get that key and I was feeling clever and alive and in no need for charity. North was unrelenting

  Silas grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back into him. “Easy, aggele mou,” he said.

  I sighed, stuffing the money into my palm.

  “Was this part of the negotiations?” Kota asked me.

  I nodded, pulling away from Silas to kneel on the floor. “As long as she doesn’t slip up and get into trouble, it should be fine. Today wasn’t a problem unless the school ends up calling.”

  “I think Mr. Blackbourne took care of that,” Kota said.

  Could Mr. Blackbourne do that for me without getting attention from Mr. Hendricks or Mr. McCoy?

  Silas sat cross legged on the floor next to me and leaned back on his hands. “What now?”

  Kota touched a finger to the bridge of his glasses. “Unless we hear from Victor or the others, we get ready for Friday.”

  Silas nudged my arm. “Are you going to make something for tomorrow for lunch?”

  I sucked in a breath, realizing they didn’t know Dr. Green’s plan yet. “I can make something,” I said. “But I won’t be around at lunch time. Dr. Green wants me to back off from hanging around you guys on campus.”

  North’s eyes popped open. “What?”

  I swallowed, glancing at Kota’s curious face and over at Silas’s. “Dr. Green wants to see if Mr. McCoy is going to come after me if I’m alone.”

  “No fucking way,” North said. He glared at Kota. “He can’t ask her that.”

  Kota frowned. He drew away from his computer desk to come sit on the floor across from me. “What did he say exactly?”

  Silas’s hand traced my back, warming me and supp
ortive. “He had to have a reason,” he said.

  I nodded. “A few things. He wants to draw out McCoy and see if he’s interested in just trying to one up me because of what happened at registration or if this was a thing against you guys because he doesn’t like you being there or something else. If I’m not hanging out with you guys, maybe McCoy might back off if he thinks I’m not as close to you all as he thought.”

  North’s dark eyes flared but pressed his lips together.

  Kota nodded to me. “What else?” he asked.

  “There’s the thing about the uniforms,” I said. “He wants an adjustment period. If I’m walking next to you all the time, other students are going to assume I’m part of the same thing and I’ll be another target. He wants me to back off until things settle down and the students get used to them.”

  “He wants her out of the way so we can do our job,” North grumbled. He fell back onto the bed and rubbed a palm against his eye. “Christ, she’s been the target all week and he wants us to back off.”

  “I don’t think that’s what he meant,” Kota said.

  “Fuck that shit,” North barked at him. He sat up, swinging his legs over to put his feet on the carpet. “He’s fucking using her as bait.”

  My heart thudded. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Victor and the others seemed better able to handle it. Maybe I should have made Dr. Green explain it to them.

  Silas kept a quiet hand on my back, rubbing gently between my shoulder blades. I sensed he was waiting for North and Kota to make a decision.

  “She’s not bait,” Kota said. “We’ll be there. She can be nearby without it looking like she’s right next to us. We’re supposed to be the targets, not her, remember?”

  “You’ve seen those monsters,” North said. “She can’t walk a few dozen feet away from us before they’re on her. It’s either Mike proposing to her, or that vice principal, or fucking Greg feeling her up in the hallway.”

  Kota’s eyes bulged open. “Greg?” He fired off a look at me. “Mall Greg? He goes to this school?”

  I pushed a finger to my lower lip and nodded.