Prone to Wander
Page 2
Like Jonah you might be sinking; pulled down in a sea of rebellion. Call out now and God will rescue you. ‘The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love’ (Zeph. 3:17).
READ:
So many of Jonah’s experiences resemble our own. Carve out 10 minutes now and read the story yourself.
2. Drifting to Pleasure Island
Upon moving over to South Wales to study theology, I decided to experience the stunning coastline and enrol in the local surf culture by buying my first surfboard. I found a cheap second-hand board in a shop tucked away in the Mumbles and asked the assistant whether it was suitable for a learner. They said it was, and I purchased it for a mere £70.
I adored that surfboard; I scraped it, waxed it, and lovingly tied it, bagless, to the roof of my VW Polo. And for a few months I lived the Californian dream … in South Wales. Until it became obvious that the assistant had lied and I was never going to learn to surf on it.
However, I did enjoy paddling out on it into an angry sea and wrestling with the waves; getting ‘out-back’ beyond the white crashing waves into the deep, dark majesty. That is where you really meet the sea: and boy, you can just lie on your back and revel in the thrill of such a meeting. Of course, you do have to keep an eye on the beach. Only a fool would shut their eyes and mindlessly ignore the fact that the tide is mercilessly pulling them from the shore.
Drifting
The world is like that tide; it lulls us away from God. As Christians we backslide in our faith because we lie back, shut our eyes and are happy to be taken. We may experience little naggings here and there — Oh, we missed C.U. or home group again — and we try to ignore them for days or weeks. By the time our alarm finally goes off we have drifted quite a distance from the shore.
Devastating Distraction
Demas was a man who drifted so far from God that he walked out on his friends and ministry. He was one of Paul’s most trusted missionary colleagues (cf. Col. 4:14, Philem. 1:24). But in his second letter to Timothy, Paul is forced to write: ‘Do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica’ (2 Tim. 4:9-10).
We don’t know what happened to Demas, but Paul’s words are devastating. Demas had deserted God, Paul and his ministry because he had fallen ‘in love with this present world’. I think Demas lost heart and started to focus on the ‘things seen’ instead of ‘things that are unseen’ (2 Cor. 4:18). Maybe he was seduced by the glamour of the city and had had enough of the hard life on the road as an evangelist — the discouragements, the persecution and the obscurity. Either way, the world seduced Demas and, from what we know, the world won.
Polluted
What’s the big problem with the world? Don’t we live in the world? Isn’t this where God has put us?
Since sin came on the scene in Genesis 3, this world has been polluted. John warns us of this in 1 John 2: ‘Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life — is not from the Father but is from the world’ (1 John 2:15-16). It is one or the other; we cannot love God and the world.
Return
When we are lukewarm and backsliding it can feel as if God doesn’t want us back; as if He is not fighting for us. But His fight was at Calvary and this is where we should look. Whether you are a Christian struggling in the faith, or someone who doubts whether they have ever belonged to Christ, the cross is our only means of returning to God.
The Mend-and-Cleanse Gospel
When I was a teenager, the David Bowie film Labyrinth was cult in my circle of friends; we would quote it endlessly to each other. In one scene, the protagonist (a girl trying to rescue her baby brother in a world of changing landscapes and puzzles) nearly falls into a rancid, bubbling swamp called, ‘the bog of eternal stench’. One touch and nothing can wash you … you will stink forever.
Not so with the gospel. If we call upon Christ, He will cleanse us from the eternal stench of our sin. The Father’s grace in the outstretched, crucified arms of Jesus Christ are wide enough for everyone; they can cover the murderer, the adulterer, the backslider and the lukewarm. Even if, like Demas, you have fallen headlong in love with the world, wreaked havoc and hurt, and betrayed your family, church, or ministry, in Christ there is no eternal stench. He promises us through His Word: ‘[My people] shall not defile themselves anymore with their idols and their detestable things, or with any of their transgressions. But I will save them from all the backsliding in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them; and they shall be my people, and I will be their God’ (Ezek. 37:23).
THINK: The Slow Bicycle Race
Did you ever ride in a slow bicycle race as a child? I recall very clearly the impossibility of trying to keep on top of your bike whilst trying to go nowhere; awkwardly swinging your front wheel from hard right to hard left to cover as little ground as possible, the twisted handlebars giving you nothing to balance on at all. You just had to make progress or you fell off!
Likewise, there is no such thing as a static Christian life. As believers in Christ we are either pushing forwards into Him or we are falling off; we are either growing up in our faith or we are slipping into a life of godless sin. Have you ever told yourself you are coasting for a bit or ‘having a breather’, whereas you were actually wandering away from the Lord?
3. The Easy Ride
The Christian life is no punt down the river; Paul the Apostle describes it as a long, hard fight (cf. 1 Tim. 6:12, 2 Tim. 4:7). There are times under the strain of this fight when we look for a comfort stop or an easier ride elsewhere. This isn’t just harmless spiritual dithering. When we fix our eyes on something other than Christ we are actively choosing a disruptive hiatus. We think we are heading out for a refreshing cruise, relishing a break from rules and responsibilities. But instead the easy ride is frequently a short joy-ride to spiritual self-destruction.
Pitching for the World
Lot, Abraham’s nephew, had experienced God’s goodness to the extreme. After moving with Abraham (or Abram as he was known then) from his homeland, Lot had tasted God’s promises in the land of Canaan and enjoyed great material blessing (Gen. 11:31). God had given Lot so much that he had to part ways with his uncle for the sheer number of their herds and servants. Lot chose to settle in the lush, flat Jordon Valley whilst Abram stayed in the hill country the Lord had set apart (Gen. 13:11-12). Although he was a believer, Lot edged his tent nearer and nearer the evil city of Sodom until he was living within it (Gen. 13:12–14:12 cf. 2 Pet. 2:6-8). Like Demas, he literally drifted into the walls of the world; a city of people who were ‘wicked, [and] great sinners against the Lord’ (Gen. 13:13).
Comfort Seeking
I finally flung myself onto the sofa after a long day of juggling three kids at home, and even more at church. Ignoring the fact it was time to tune into a Sunday evening service online, I killed a couple of hours on eBay, telling myself I needed a break. Actually, I had lost my holy expectancy for God’s Word; an absence which had been apparent that morning too, for it normally drove me to church. Instead I went because I didn’t want to get into trouble with the pastor (when he came home).
This became normative for weeks. I had slipped into a spiritual lethargy. I was no longer hungry for God’s covenant goodness. Instead I was pitching my tent too close to the world. I didn’t want God anymore; I wanted the easy ride.
Lingering Lot
While Abram continued to worship the Lord and build altars of thanksgiving, Lot got so mixed up in godless Sodom that Abram had to rescue him from its raiders (Gen. 14:13-16). Then we see God making a history shaking covenant with Abram, changing his name to Abraham (Gen. 15-17). But Lot is not there. He is back in Sodom, seeking to be at home in a place he was supposed to be only travelling through (Gen. 19:9). In
chapter 18 we find God telling Abraham He is going to rain judgment down upon the city. Although Lot stupidly kept returning to Sodom, God graciously pulls him out in time. Yet the crazy thing is, Lot is still reticent to go. The angels of the Lord are literally dragging him away, ‘Up! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city’ (Gen. 19:15). What does Lot do? He lingers (Gen. 19:16).
Parched Procrastinator
As a child, my twin sister would frequently get lost half-way down the beach because she was so engrossed in shell collecting. We are like this; so distracted that we heedlessly wander away from God’s parental care. Then we decide to return and yet, like Lot, even in this we linger. We linger in our lukewarmness and backsliding instead of turning directly to God in prayer and in his Word. Crawling through the desert parched to death, we beg for a fancy cocktail with a curly straw and a paper umbrella when what we need is water … pure water!
If you are thirsty for gospel water — dehydrated from your own apathy and sin — your heavenly Father calls to you: ‘Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! … Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labour for that which does not satisfy?’ (Isa. 55:1-2). Do not linger; turn back to Christ now, ‘the living water’ (John 4:10) who quenches our spiritual thirst with his own blood at Calvary.
Not Home Yet
When we opt for the easy ride we try to make the Christian faith something it is not; in the words of J. C. Ryle: ‘to make the gate more wide, and the cross more light’.1 In their ease, Demas and Lot settled in cities that were not their home. Yet we need to constantly preach to ourselves that we are not home yet; just as at the end of a holiday, when we can’t shake the fact it’s coming to an end and we prepare mentally to go home.
READ: Isaiah 55:6-9
Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call upon him while he is near;
let the wicked forsake his way,
and the unrighteous man his thoughts;
let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
* * *
1 J. C. Ryle, Holiness: Its Nature, Hindrances, Difficulties, and Roots (London: James Clark & Co, 1956), p.154.
4. Despising God in Lust
After graduation Ed decided to spend a year serving a city church on an apprenticeship scheme. Ed grew strong in his faith and his passion for Christ as he spent his days in Bible studies, one-to-one discipleship and leading the youth work. When the year had finished Ed moved back in with his folks to look for a job in engineering, and he hoped to get stuck into his home church. Yet reconnecting with a couple of old school friends shifted his social life away from church. A quick pint on Friday night soon turned into wild partying and Ed stumbled into sexual sin; his drunken flings then unbolted his curiosity about porn, and within weeks his faith shattered into a mess of doubts and addiction. By the time Ed asked for help from his pastor he was actively questioning the inerrancy of the Bible and the resurrection of Christ. Yet he was so blinded by his lust that he didn’t recognise that it was his love for sin that was calling his faith into question. Fortunately, Ed’s pastor was able lovingly to challenge him and to support him out of his backsliding.
Blinded by Lust
King David was another believer blinded by his lust. One day he was worshipping in the street ‘with all his might’ (2 Sam. 6:14) yet four chapters later he steals a man’s wife straight from her bathtub, and murders the husband to cover it up (2 Sam. 11). How did he fall so quickly? Did it not occur to David when he was gawping at Bathsheba that he was not keeping covenant with his eyes? Or that he was throwing himself in front of the lust bus by sending for her? His covenant God was obviously not on his mind when he was alone with her. David was so driven by his lust he had no thought of God at all.
David’s first mistake was dropping his guard; picking the easy ride, lazily lounging around his palace penthouse instead of going out to war with his own army (2 Sam. 11:1-2). This led to David’s sexual passion killing his passion for God. David’s lust left him so blind that when the prophet Nathan challenged his behaviour through an analogy, he self-righteously demanded death for his own merciless crime (2 Sam. 12:5, 7). He was the thieving rich man who killed a poor man’s treasured lamb.
The Power of Love Lust
David’s sexual appetite didn’t just eclipse his appetite for God; it temporarily killed it. David, this man so passionate for his covenant God, actively hated and loathed God in his adultery. The Lord says through Nathan His prophet: ‘you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife’ (2 Sam. 12:10). It is a helpful reminder to us that the text doesn’t read, ‘you despised me when you took the wife of Uriah’. We turn our backs on God well before we sin physically; David did it when he was ogling at Bathsheba, when he asked who she was, and when he used his authority to take what was not his.
Digital Davids
Unfortunately, we don’t need the height of a palace roof to engage in explicit eyeballing; it is readily available to us in our pockets, on our screens, in books and magazines. Our lustful planning, our sluggish accountability, idly avoiding setting up account security, logging on, unrestrained tapping from link to link hungry for digital sex. This sin is as shameless and as destructive as David’s. In all our sexual impurity we hate the beauty of Christ and stupidly love the ugliness of sin.
So Destructive
Have you cooled in your faith and backslidden because of sexual sin? Or perhaps you are lukewarm because you are guilt-ridden from past sexual sin? Lust eats Christians up for dinner and then spits them out broken and bleeding. We’ve all seen it. Every church youth group has teenagers who have forsaken their passion for Christ for physical freedom with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Many of us have friends who are spiritually stunted in their addiction to porn, stuck in a circle of desire and remorse. Or we’ve painfully watched beloved church leaders walk out on their churches because they can no longer fight their same-sex attraction or the opportunity for adultery. Lust is so destructive and it is the sure road to spiritual difficulty.
Fight Lust with Christ
Sexual sin was rife amongst the Christians in Corinth. So, Paul challenges them with the words: ‘The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body’ (1 Cor. 6:13). God didn’t make our bodies for sexual sin and He certainly didn’t save them for it. Our mouths, hands, heads, skin, and sexual organs are all meant for the Lord Jesus Christ and He is meant for them. This is because as Christians we are united to Christ. ‘Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?’ (1 Cor. 6:15).This spiritual oneness with King Jesus is powerful and impacts our physical bodies. Using our skin-covered temples of the Holy Spirit to sin against God, to despise Him, is seriously damaging.
If you are spiritually backsliding because of lust and sexual sin then call upon the Lord and reassign your sexual hankering to a hankering for the goodness and beauty of Christ. Sexual sin is hard to fight but we can fight it with Christ. Christ is better. Think of Samwise Gamgee in Tolkien’s The Return of the King:
The Ring tempted him, gnawing at his will and reason. Wild fantasies arose in his mind; and he saw Samwise the Strong, Hero of the Age, striding with a flaming sword across the darkened land, and armies flocking to his call as he marched to the overthrow of Barad-dûr. He had only to put on the Ring and claim it for his own, and all this could be. In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped most to hold him firm.1
It is love for our Master, King Jesus, that is our motivation to resist
and stand firm in the hour of temptation. I write this on Maundy Thursday, the day we focus on Jesus, the innocent God-man struggling in a garden with blood and sweat to take on a hideous death He did not deserve, for our rebellion, fancies, whims and addictions. For the Christian devoted to Christ, mindless indulgence lies too close to home. Remember! You are united to your Saviour who had nails hammered through His hands for when you can’t control your own.
No ‘beyond grace’
‘But you don’t know how sinful I’ve been! I’m beyond grace!’ There is no ‘beyond grace’ with Jesus Christ. Like Him, His grace is supernatural. Christ’s death at Calvary was bigger than our human sin and in His death, His grace is sufficient for all of us (2 Cor. 12:9). When we think our sin is too big for Christ we are struggling with unbelief and we need the person of the Holy Spirit to work in us. Returning to God from backsliding is basking in a gospel that is not about us or how big our sin is, but how big God’s grace is in Christ Jesus.