What's Up, Buttercup? (Vexatious Valkyries Book 1)

by Jane Cousins

  “But I don’t have a problem.” Stephanie reminded, gulping down the last of the whiskey in her glass. She would not admit to weakness, or doubts regarding her Sisters. It would be disloyal.

  “If that’s the way you want to play it, fine. How about you just help me out then?”

  “With choosing a bride?” Grrr, her stomach roiled, had she drunk too much? Never. Stephanie reached for the bottle to refill her glass and top up Galen’s. Mustn’t forget her overall plan here was to loosen his tongue with alcohol, which totally seemed to be working.

  “I was hoping to avoid the whole forced marriage option.”

  “So what have you been doing for the past six months?”

  “Denial failed to achieve anything. Then I went into overdrive, feeding, hoping to somehow go into remission.”

  “That can happen?”

  “No. But miracles and all that. Then unfortunately my Queen decided to get involved and gave me a deadline.”

  “Hold on, so you won’t go… stabby in two weeks’ time? How long do you have?”

  “A few months at the most before I reach the point of no return. The symptoms escalate over time.”

  “Well, if you don’t want to get… married, why don’t you just go on the run, hide?”

  “The Queen’s Shamans are very good trackers. Even now I have had to take extreme measures, like attending this event, to keep them from hauling me to the Palace for an excruciating series of meet and greet events in the lead up to the wedding party. That’s why being here on this plane is such a good idea. With this many Conflict Demons gathered together, they will be having a very hard time pinpointing my exact location.”

  “Doubly so given you are in this cavern, under layers of dense rock. Is that why you are down here, hiding from these Shaman dudes?”

  Galen grinned. “My friend, who organised all this, Kaleb, kind of banished me here. I’ve been an irrational, increasingly angry bastard of late. He set this up so I would have a bolt hole to… in his words, sulk.”

  “You sure you’re not in remission?” And why was his answer suddenly vitally so important to her? What did she care if he had to marry some random Demoness? “It’s just I haven’t seen much sign of this so-called irrational anger and impatience you’ve mentioned.”

  Galen hid a grimace. He couldn’t confide in Stephanie how all the dark, churning emotions formerly assailing him had morphed into clawing need and desire for one stubborn Valkyrie. She’d run a mile, after lopping off his head that was. He told her a partial truth. “It’s taking all of my control, all my focus, not to let those emotions take over.”

  “Oh, well, good job.”

  “Thanks.” Galen grinned, chuffing a laugh before raising his glass in a silent toast that Stephanie on auto pilot matched. They were well into their second bottle now with his Valkyrie unknowingly doing most of the consuming.

  “I’m in.” Stephanie suddenly announced.

  “In?”

  “Helping you.”

  Lord below yes, claim me. Claim me.

  Stephanie pushed the glass of whiskey away. Freyja, what the hell was she saying? She hated the idea of him devolving into a mindless, killing machine. But just how the hell did she propose to help him? Besides, she had an agenda of her own in play. Her two-fold mission tonight was only half successful.

  She knew why the Demon was on this plane and why he was in this cavern, rather than out on the battlefield. However, there was still the sex part of the equation to consider. That annoying throbbing ache between her legs that came and went was back again as she surveyed him across the table. Black silky hair falling over his forehead, midnight dark gaze reflecting the flickering light from the hurricane lanterns. Sensual lips flashing the occasional smile, lifting at the edges as he chatted and smiled, distracting her.

  Hmmm, and why was she finding it so hard to think clearly? Flicking a fleeting glance at the two bottles of whiskey on the table. There was only about three fingers left in the second one. Hah, he had to be so drunk by now. It was the perfect time to pounce.

  “Stephanie?”

  Damn it, she’d promised to help him, she couldn’t just strip and throw herself at him. Hmmm, that aching throb began to beat a little faster, now in time with her racing heartbeat. What if she did both, helped him, and helped herself? “The only way to avoid this stabby-ness is to be claimed by your mate, right?”

  Galen’s whole body tensed, he liked where this conversation was going. “Yes.”

  “So that’s what we need to do. Find your mate.” Yes! This was a perfect means to an end… a happy end, for her at least.

  Galen couldn’t agree more. His entire focus was locked on those perfect pouty pink lips of Stephanie’s. The anticipation was killing him. Say the words. By the Pits, say the words. Claim me.

  “So, when you picture your perfect mate, what does she look like?” Grrr, for some reason Stephanie didn’t like the idea of Galen picturing some other woman. Stomping down hard on the desire to call her hatchets and start indiscriminatingly swinging.

  “Excuse me?” Galen’s hope and cock deflated at the same time. He had the distinct feeling he and the Valkyrie were not on the same page. Fuck.

  Stephanie stood up, she couldn’t sit still any longer. Between the throbbing of her lady parts and a strange roiling in her gut, she wasn’t sure what the hell was going on with her. The mission, remember the mission. Bouncing in place, she smiled in the Demon’s direction. “It’s simple. We narrow down your preferences in regards to the perfect woman and then when you leave here, you’ll have… what? a week or so to track your soul mate down.”

  “I guess.” Shit, had he made any progress with the Valkyrie at all over the past six days? he guessed not. Would she notice if he slipped off to the bathroom and had a cold shower? Perhaps not, given all the whiskey he’d plied her with. Though of course there was one six-foot obstacle standing… no, make that bouncing in place in his way.

  Lucifer, why did the woman have to bounce so much? Her legs must be like springs. Eye contact, retain eye contact if you want to survive.

  Stephanie liked the way Galen gave her his full and undivided attention. He was one of the few males who actually looked her in the eyes and listened when she talked, she surprisingly liked that. But she also suddenly wanted his attention else where. She wanted to see heat flare in his gaze as it travelled up over her long legs. Watch his hands twitch as if he was contemplating palming her full breasts. She really wanted this damn Demon to want her. Yes, and what a Valkyrie wanted, she bloody well got. Time for that sneaky seduction.

  “What about height?” She raised her hand, holding it to her own head height before slowly beginning to lower it, a questioning look on her face.

  “Your height is fine.” Galen was annoyed to find there was very little whiskey left. Crap, just when he really needed a drink.

  “My height, good, that’s a start. And what about body type?” She glanced down her own frame and then back to Galen.

  Shit, there wasn’t enough whiskey in the world to cure what ailed him as he watched the Valkyrie grab her breasts and offer them up to him like a banquet. Torture, pure fucking torture.

  “Bigger? Smaller?”

  “Um.”

  Stephanie frowned, he was taking too long to answer. Didn’t he like what he saw? Doh, of course, her dress was getting in the way. She morphed it away. That was better, she’d been feeling distinctly over warm anyway.

  By the Fiery Pits of Hell. Now the Valkyrie was naked. Standing there, only five feet away, completely and utterly nude. His inner Demon began taking its claws to his self control. It wanted what was on offer. It wanted to touch, conquer and own.

  Galen gripped the sides of his chair, not at all surprised to hear the wood groan under the stress. “Well… I guess… your body type would be… okay.”

  Okay? Okay? Talk about damning with faint praise. Here she was trying to help him… and help herself to him, and he was acting all… wishy
washy. Lesser men had swallowed their own tongues upon seeing her full glory uncovered. Yet this irritating Demon was just sitting there, as if Valkyries offered themselves up to him on a platter every bloody day of the week.

  Maybe Galen didn’t understand what was going on here. Him being all scholarly and what with that weird stabby condition that was afflicting him. Perhaps she needed to be a little more blatant. Um, but how was she supposed to go about that?

  Stephanie had always thought her seduction skills were unparalleled. They’d never failed her before. Get naked and sexy, sweaty, fun times always followed. Until now, until faced off against this perplexing enigma of a Demon.

  Galen grit his teeth. No moaning and no damn whimpering. Fucking hell, the Valkyrie was trying to drive him out of his ever loving mind.

  Hold on, just why was Stephanie naked and giving him that flirty – let’s get sweaty – grin? He’d been wondering about this new strategy of hers, thinking it just involved interrogating him about his personal life and reasons for not joining his brethren on the battlefield, but shit, if she didn’t have a two pronged attack planned.

  It seems the Valkyrie was seriously trying to fuck him.

  He desperately tried to come up with a reason he should surrender to her wishes. Come on, think. There had to be a reason they could do the horizontal mambo right here, right now. It would mean blowing up all his plans to seduce the Valkyrie on a cerebral level first. Which now that he had a chance to think about it was nothing but sheer idiocy. Seize this moment, Moron. Establish a physical connection first, the rest could come later.

  He was ready, his cock was wrestling frantically with his common sense, trying to take charge. And the Valkyrie, she was naked and… her eyes were unfocused, her skin too flushed and she was swaying in place just a little as she bounced.

  Hoisted on his own petard. Stephanie was drunk.

  It was like a cold shower doused him. What would the Valkyrie think of him in the morning if he took her now? Her judgment and memories potentially impaired? He’d obliterate any and all chances he had of winning her claim, her respect and love. Damn it, he was going to have to be noble here and act oblivious. If he could pull it off, he would deserve an Oscar.

  Of course, he might have all the good intentions in the world, but he was forgetting to factor in one - hot to trot - inebriated Valkyrie. Who suddenly bounced his way and launched herself onto his lap.

  Fuck.

  No, absolutely no fucking.

  “Hi there, Buttercup.” Stephanie rested her hand against his jaw, liking the scratchy feel of his stubble.

  Galen gripped the arms of the chair tighter still. This close, staring into her ocean blue eyes, he felt himself close to drowning.

  “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m naked?”

  “I…” Galen cleared his throat. The feel of that shapely, naked body pressed against his was brutal, gnawing away at his will power. “… I had noticed that fact, yes.”

  Stephanie pressed her breasts harder against his chest. “Do you think you are Demon enough to take me up on my offer?”

  Soft pouting pink lips closed in on his and Galen mesmerised, didn’t do a damn thing to avoid them. Gripping the arms of the chair so tightly he heard the wood groan. He dare not touch her, fearing he wouldn’t be able to stop.

  The throb of Stephanie’s sex had taken up a salsa beat as her lips pressed against Galen’s, sinking into the pure heat of the moment. Damn, the Demon tasted of whiskey, heat and sin. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she wanted to burn hotter. Yes. Yes.

  They broke apart, panting softly. Stephanie’s hands fisted his shirt, she was seconds from tearing the damn thing off him.

  Galen grit his teeth, loathing what he needed to do here, but everything was at stake. If he didn’t refuse the Valkyrie now, they would no doubt have spectacular sex, but she’d dismiss him in a heartbeat come first thing in the morning. “I accept.”

  “What?” Her invitation to hit the sheets? Yippee.

  “Your offer to help me find my perfect mate. You’ve totally gone above and… beyond. Now that I’ve held you in my arms, it has totally helped in the decision making process. So we’re agreed. Your height and body type. Let’s keep the hair blonde and the eyes blue. Essentially just like you… but not you of course, that would be ridiculous.”

  Say what now? Stephanie blinked and then blinked again. Did the Demon think she had gotten naked and launched herself onto his lap just so he could conduct some sort of road test for his future perfect mate? The… idiot.

  Suddenly Stephanie’s world was rocked as another realisation hit. She’d never failed at anything before so it was harsh crushing reality, she sucked at seduction. Freyja, that hurt.

  Heavens, when you failed at something, was it supposed to feel like this? A sucking dread that fought with roiling rage?

  Worse was the sudden thought that somehow, in all this mess, she had made a commitment to help Galen find his perfect mate. Who looked just like her, but wasn’t her. Because as the Demon had said - that would be ridiculous. Yes, completely an utterly ridiculous.

  But then why did a tiny, miniscule, hardly worth mentioning part of her wonder exactly what she would have to do in order to fit into miss perfect soul mate’s shoes?

  It was official, she had cavern fever, there was no other reason for her to be thinking such nonsense. Crap, well, at least this day couldn’t get any worse.

  “Stephanie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Is there a reason you are still sitting on my lap buck-naked?”

  Double crap. Yes, it seems she could sink lower.

  Chapter Nine

  Stephanie couldn’t seem to shake the never ending flashbacks, as the highlights reel from last night, in technicolour detail, assailed her once more. The images were on some weird loop. She was powerless to stop them or the accompanying series of emotions. Frustration. Anger. Embarrassment. Back to anger. Edging towards seething. Disappointment. Frustration.

  Hauling herself to the edge of the spring she tread water, waiting for her breathing to regulate. Damn, she’d been hoping some physical exertion would blunt or dissipate these stupid feelings hammering at her, but it was not to be. Apparently she was actually going to have to face them, blah.

  Okay, so she’d made a fool of herself last night. Getting naked. Literally throwing herself at Galen Darvyn.

  Yes, for the first time in her existence she had failed at something. That knowledge burned.

  On the other hand, part of her mission had been successful. She’d acquired some serious intel.

  Not that any of it was particularly helpful in getting her out of this place. Though it did explain why Galen was so unique. He was dealing with some major personal crap in his life. Holding on to his sanity and self-control by sheer, rigid determination.

  Wait a moment, perhaps her seduction skills hadn’t failed her. Maybe Galen was just too distracted and focused on his own problems to understand the magnanimous prize she’d been dangling before him.

  That was it, he hadn’t taken her offer seriously at all. He’d been under the impression she was trying to help him pin down what he was looking for in a perfect soul mate. On that front, she’d been a spectacular success. His preferences were locked and loaded. Her height. Her body type. Blonde. Blue eyed. Pretty much her… but not her, grrr.

  Stephanie unclenched her jaw, jagged spikes of uncomfortable heat flaring in her gut. She tamped down on the discomfort since it was merely sexual frustration rearing its head, nothing more. An obvious explanation, since she still had that annoying throbbing going on low in her body. A restless, tingly ache that she had been hoping Galen would soothe.

  Hmmm, and maybe he still would. He couldn’t remain focused on his own problems twenty-four/seven. If she did work with him, like she’d offered, remaining by his side constantly, well, everyone needed a distraction from their troubles occasionally. Stephanie could totally be that distraction.

&
nbsp; Hmmm, and perhaps her strategy had been too… subtle.

  Yeah, that was it, she’d been totally too artful in her approach.

  Phew, that was a relief, she wasn’t a failure. Further, she didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about; getting naked, throwing herself at him. Since the oblivious Demon hadn’t even realised she’d been trying to fuck him.

  What she needed to do was factor in Galen’s current situation. Of course he was majorly distracted; his sanity and future were on the line here. So she’d stealthily insert herself into his day to day life, delivering on her promise to help him. When in reality, she would be waiting to grab the first opportunity when Galen’s defences were lowered to rock his world.

  Freyja, she was doing the Demon a favour. Everyone deserved some happy mattress bounce time. It would probably clear his head. No doubt he’d realise his destined mate had been right in front of him this whole time. Some curvy socialite. Or eager, gorgeous legal colleague.

  Blast, and why did that thought make her yearn to call her hatchets and destroy the world? Probably because this was the longest she’d ever spent away from the battlefield, where she could, in a healthy, cathartic manner, burn off all her frustrations. Weirdly, Stephanie did kind of feel like a ticking time-bomb.

  A pressured feeling building slowly within her gut. Heat. Need for release. Which meant given her current situation, if she couldn’t shed blood, then she needed to fuck the Demon… soon.

  For his sake and her own.

  By tricking him into having sex with her, she was doing them both a public service. Yeah, that was the Valkyries at their core, they were do-gooders. Usually they granted you a swift, brutal death. But damn, if they couldn’t also deliver life altering orgasms.

  Many a dazed male, kicked to the kerb following a sexual encounter with a Valkyrie, had slowly faded away until they had no alternative but to cross the river Styx. Broken sometimes in body, Valkyries did like to play rough after all. But generally it was the knowledge that they could never attain that level of pure sexual satisfaction again. It left them desperate and then despairing.