I had been thinking about her more and more lately with Emily thinking about leaving for college. It seemed like yesterday that Caroline and Maddie were leaving for UGA and I had enrolled in classes at the community college. A major university was nothing that I strived for, having been an average student for most of my life.
I had helped their parents move them into the dorm and I hated she was in a co-ed building but I trusted her enough to try not to worry. When things got bad, I drew off of that insecurity and accused her of spending time with other guys, wanting her to be able to hate me when I broke her heart. I knew the last conversation we had was going to end up with her hating me and I did everything in my power to make it happen.
I needed her to be able to move past me and it killed me to think of someone else touching her, whispering words of love in her ear, making her come undone under them.
GRRRR! Caroline was MINE! She had always been mine! No! She isn’t, not anymore. I threw her away and I have no doubt that she hates me for the way I broke up with her and disappeared. I destroyed the future we planned in one phone conversation, resulting in my hardened heart and lack of desire to find anyone permanent.
At the time, my focus was on Emily and getting her healed and I needed to be able to do that without a lot of questions. Caroline would have wanted to come home to help and I couldn’t allow her to give up her future for me. So, I lied and sent her away, only to disappear from her life without a trace.
“Are you ready? I’m starving.” Emily asked as she came into the kitchen with her cap and gown on a hanger over her arm.
“Yup. Let’s go get some waffles and get you graduated.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her as we made our way to the car. I was still driving the same car I had in high school, a black 1967 Chevy Impala that I had fully restored and had added a few modern amenities to make her purr.
I’ve had many women over the past few years express a desire to spend time in the back seat with me but the only person who has ever been there was Caroline. We lost our virginity to each other in the back seat of my car and I would never sully that perfect image with a gym-whore who just wants to fuck. Harsh, I know, but they know the deal going into it.
Breakfast was spent reminiscing of times with our parents and the graduation ceremony was over within an hour, due to a small graduating class. We were soon on the way to meet some of the guys from the gym, who wanted to celebrate her success. Cody decided to throw a pool party at his house.
He had been a little more affectionate with her than I would like lately, but he knows I would rip his head off and piss down his neck if he tried to make a move on her. The 8-year age gap was bad enough but to have someone who goes through as many women as he did show interest in my sister, made me want to choke him out.
Luckily for me, Emily doesn’t seem to be interested in dating. After her accident, she became shy and reserved, often times trying to hide away. The training she has done at the gym has given her more confidence, but she’s still withdrawn and I’ve been overly protective of her.
The party went well into the evening and laughter was plentiful. We stayed to help clean up after the party, even though Cody insisted he had it covered. Our parents had raised us to help clean after gatherings so he was stuck finishing up tonight instead of letting it sit until tomorrow like he would have preferred.
This gave us the chance to catch up, and Cody began to ask Emily about her plans for college, hoping to get her to tell us where she was planning on going to school. The not knowing was killing me and he knew how stressed I was over the thought of her moving out.
“Have you made your decision on schools yet, Emily? The last you said, you had it narrowed down to four schools but you won’t tell us which one you picked. Come on, tell us already!” he joked as I loaded the dishwasher and she wiped down the countertops.
“Well, I narrowed it down from four to three. Tulane University, UNLV and Emory Atlanta. I kicked the University of Alabama off the list because, really, Alabama? Mom and dad would have had a fit if I went to school there, so it had to go.” She shrugged as she continued to pick up plates and soda cans from the party.
The look Cody shot me was one filled with worry and concern. One of the schools was over a thousand miles from here, the other almost 500. While I know they had the best law programs for her, I hated the thought of her being so far from me. I would support her on whatever she chose but I was really struggling with the idea of not having her close to me.
“When do you have to make your final decision?” he responded, taking the question from me before I could ask for myself. He’s really a good friend to me and has been trying to get me to deal with my issues with Caroline as well. He feels I have unresolved feelings that are keeping me from being happy.
Like losing the love of your life is something you ever get over.
“I’m not starting until September so I don’t have to decide just yet. I have until May to let them know, so I’m still weighing my options.”
I prayed she would stay close and not go halfway across the country. With Mom and Dad gone, she and I are all we have left. I felt a sense of helplessness and panic at the thought of her being away from me, unprotected from all the world could do to her.
I was starting my new job today and I was nervous. I had been officially unemployed for a month and after many conversations, I accepted a job at Maddie’s company. She had offered me a few positions, wanting me to be a part of the MSJ family. After a few discussions with her, Lucas, and Jason, I finally decided I wanted to work within the company’s Literacy Department as an associate for Maddie.
While my passion for reading isn’t as intense as hers, I was eager to learn all the details of the program Maddie and Lucas had spent so many months perfecting. They were looking to expand into other markets and I was brought on as a Logistical Analyst to build the program in other major cities around the country. I had a degree in Logistics that I had never used and I hoped that I was a good fit for the position.
They were paying me a ridiculous salary with a great benefits package and I realized how blessed I really was. To have a best friend like Maddie who’s looking out for me and helping me get back on my feet is a rare thing in this cynical world.
I decided to make a good first impression by looking my best, so I got up an hour early to make sure my outfit, makeup, and hair were flawless. The feeling of turning a corner and being on the right path had overtaken me the last few weeks. After I had told Maddie about Andrew, my heart felt lighter and my soul was hopeful for the first time in years.
I decided to drive to work today since I wasn’t sure what to expect and wanted my own transportation on the outside chance I had to leave early. The unknown situation had me full of nervous energy, so I put my road trip playlist on as I pulled out of the parking garage and headed toward the interstate.
Traffic was light as I was early for morning rush hour traffic and was able to get to the office with about 30 minutes to spare. Knowing Maddie and Lucas hadn’t arrived yet, I decided to sit in my car and look at my social media accounts. I loved to see how my friends from high school and college were doing with their lives and seeing how many of them had already gotten married and started families was inspiring.
I was ready to get back out there and try to find The One. There was still a small amount of hope for Andrew and I to reconcile, but I was no longer going to sit on the sidelines and wait for life to come to me. It was time for Caroline Johnson to grab onto happiness with both hands, even if it was with someone besides Andrew Shepard.
After checking my Twitter and Instagram, I switched over to Facebook and had a friend request waiting with my notifications. I decided to check my feed and see who had posted what before I looked at the awaiting request. I had been scrolling for a few minutes when a knock on my window startled me, reminding me to be more diligent with my surroundings and who was around me. Getting lost in your phone could be dangerous.
Looking up, I saw
the smiling face of Maddie and Lucas looking into my car window like a couple of loonies. They were always so happy and I was a little jealous of how perfect their relationship was. I turned my phone back to the home screen and put it in my bag, not knowing the policy on personal phone use during the day.
The owner or not, I wouldn’t allow Maddie to make special rules for me. She had already given me the apartment and access to enough money to live more than comfortably. I owed her enough and wanted to be respectful of her and her position.
Getting out of my car I was met by a huge hug. “I’m so glad you are here. Now we get to see each other every day at work and we can sneak lunches together.” Maddie giggled as she pulled away and I turned to hug Lucas.
“She has been so excited since you agreed to take the job. Maybe now she will calm down and stop bouncing around.” Lucas replied as we began to walk towards the building I would now be working in.
We walked to security to receive my ID badge and access pass. Since I was working directly with Maddie, I had full access to the entire building. I was apprehensive of having so much admission to the inner workings of the company, but I trusted them with their choice to give me that kind of access.
I made my way up to Maddie and Lucas’s floor and was met by Carol, their personal secretary and I guess mine too. I had been assigned the only other office on this floor and was greeted with a warm hug from the sweet lady I had grown to love over the last couple of months.
“Good morning, Caroline. You look fantastic this morning! Is that a new haircut?” she asked as we stood by her desk, my anxiety already easing. She had a knack for making people comfortable and I can understand why Maddie liked spending time with her.
“I got some of the length cut off with Spring right around the corner and decided to flat iron it today. Thank you for noticing, Carol.” I beamed at her.
“Let me show you to your office and get you set up. Lucas and Maddie are in a meeting with Jason upstairs. They wanted you to get settled while they were gone but I expect them back soon. Do you want anything to drink or something to snack on while you wait?”
“I can make myself a cup of coffee if you will show me where everything is.” I’m not comfortable with her waiting on me and was capable of getting my own drinks. My nerves must be evident because she began to lead me further into my office and towards the seating area.
“It’s what I do here, Caroline. My job is to make sure your job runs smoothly. Food and drinks, office supplies, making appointments, and keeping your schedule all fall within my job description, along with about a thousand other things. Let me get you something to settle you. Coffee, tea, water? We have it all or I will make sure we have it by tomorrow.” As she guided me to a comfy brown sofa against the exposed brick wall of my office. “I want you to be as happy here as everyone else is. They offered you the job because you are qualified and deserving of the opportunity. Don’t let first-day worries get in your head. You and Maddie are so alike it’s scary, you know that right?” she commented, with a smile on her face and a slight lilt to her voice.
“Thank you, Carol. I would love some coffee. No sugar, hazelnut creamer until it’s light,” hoping my request for my favorite coffee creamer wasn’t an imposition.
“I’ll be right back. Have a look around your office. Your user ID and passwords are on the desk if you want to log into the system and get familiar with the set-up. Your email is working and there is a list of potential cities inside for you to start researching.” she left me alone in my office.
My office! I had a real job that I could use my skill set in.
I tried to hide the fact that logistics were fascinating to me, but Maddie knew my passion for making sure details mattered. With proper logistics, you can build any program or business into something successful. I was being given the chance to take what she had started and help to grow it into the nationwide program she had worked so hard laying the groundwork for, here in Atlanta.
Carol had come back in and I thanked her as she set my coffee down and let herself out of my office, closing the door behind her. I was already looking over the list of cities and adding a few of my own that I’d researched with a lower than average adult literacy rate.
I know the program is about connecting elders and youth to help build reading skills and foster relationships for future success and happier communities. There was a large population of adults who under-read or couldn’t read at all and I felt they could use the same mentoring as everyone else. My thought was that pairing adults with reading problems and teens who could tutor them might build the program in a new way.
Lost in thought with at least six tabs open on my computer, switching back and forth between them to see where the next city should be, I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to swing around and almost knock Maddie into the wall.
“Oh! I’m sorry! I was completely engrossed in what I was working on and didn’t hear you come in.”
“It’s okay! I saw the look on your face when I walked in and knew you were in your zone. I’m sorry if I startled you.” She said as she made her way to the seating area and I grabbed my coffee to join her.
“I would ask how you are getting settled but from the look I just saw, you are getting adjusted pretty quickly. I told you this job was perfect for you. I’m so happy you’re here!” She beamed at me.
“It’s going to take some getting used to, but I think I may love it here already. There are so many different parameters I need to define before I will be comfortable enough to suggest anything about the expansion.” I rattled off, my mind going a thousand miles an hour.
This is the part of the business I flourished at, having gained experience during my internship at the international soda company here in town. I learned about global marketing, distribution, production and everything else you can imagine on how to make the company the most profitable and successful. I just hoped my experience was enough in this field to make it flourish and grow.
“Of that, I have no doubt. I wanted to give you something before we go into our meeting with Jason and Lucas.” She explained before handing me an AMEX Black card with my name on it.
My hands began to have a slight tremor. Why would I need an no limit company credit card with the salary they are paying me? “Why do I need this? I won’t be doing any of the decision making when it comes to the project so having this card makes no sense.”
“All company executives have the same benefits and access to the company credit cards. Remember when I told you about my first day? I got a card and had the same reaction. It still doesn’t register that I can buy anything I want.” She responded as she shook her head and stared off into the distance for a moment.
I took the time to gather my thoughts and get my anxiety under control. I need to trust her and have faith I could handle whatever came at me.
“Anyway, there will be some traveling you have to do for your research. You know, checking out the cities, looking into facilities, buses, meals, etc. The company pays for all travel expenses so this just makes things easier for records. Keep the receipts, give them to Carol and everything is good.”
Her explanation made sense and I went to secure the card in my wallet so I didn’t misplace it. I would hate for someone to steal it.
“Are you ready to meet with Lucas and Jason?” she asked, still calling her father by his first name. When she married Lucas a couple months ago, my dad gave her away, just like she had always wanted. Jason stood up for Lucas as his best man and there were no hurt feelings or animosity between them.
I loved our little dysfunctional family.
My meeting with Jason, Lucas, and Maddie went well. They were receptive to my idea of integrating adults into the program dynamics for trial in some of the other cities to see if we can build the expansion into a bigger, more encompassing program. I explained that the same parameters that we used for the senior/teen could be adapted for the teen/adult with little to no change to the existing structur
e of the program.
The same areas that had declining reading skills of youth and teens also had neglected the adults in the area by not reaching them earlier. By opening the program to more people, we would be able to make a greater impact on the local communities.
It felt good to be able to discuss my ideas with them and see that they were open to my suggestions. I wanted to be able to take what they had started and help it grow to its full potential. After we finished our discussion, I went back to my office to get back to my research.
There were at least a dozen cities that could benefit from MSJ’s new program launch and I was tasked with deciding which four cities we would make the first developments into. I wanted to make sure that we could make the biggest impact in each community so I began to look into the statistics that indicate undereducated or under-represented citizens and focus on them first.
Next, I focused on high-school graduation rates, college enrollment, and job availability in each area to see which cities were ranked. I also looked into facilities where we could bring the groups together, transportation options, and potential community partners.
I looked up from the lists I was compiling to find Maddie and Lucas walking in with bags of food that smelled heavenly. I had skipped breakfast and it was almost 2 o’clock so I was beyond starving.
“We had lunch delivered since it looked like you weren’t ever going to come up for air.” Lucas joked as he set the food down on the conference table on one side of my office and Maddie began to unpack our food.
“We ordered Korean for your first day since I know how much you love it.” Maddie remarked as the smell of bulgogi and spices hit my nostrils, making my mouth water. She knows that Andrew introduced me to Korean food in middle school and I have had an affection for it ever since.
It used to bring me sadness to enjoy his favorite foods without him, but with my new outlook came new feelings. I would always be grateful for the time we had together, but it was past time for me to move on.
The Love That Heals Me (Forever Mine Book 2) Page 3
