ENVY Deceptive Desires #1 (Romantic Suspense)

by Amarie Avant

  “You’ve always been the best part of my past. The greatest part of the present. And you will always be my future, and that’s what I told you last night. I said you are my reason for living.” He pulled her into his arms. “Now, Re, will you let me love you?”

  Teeth gnawing on her bottom lip, she glanced at the man who had her heart. Sighing, Raven decided she needed to believe in his love. It meant not thinking about the night he told her of his talk with Lucinda. Love covered up the fact that she was Roy Timmons’ daughter.

  Chapter 32

  Back at home, gripping a plastic red gun, Raven aimed it at the screen of a classic arcade game. She shot bandits that popped from behind boxes and barrels of a Wild West simulation. Smacking Liam with her hip, she took the kills on his side, too. A cowboy appeared, pointing a celebratory bottle of whiskey at her side of the screen. She put the gun in the case and danced a jig around the loser.

  “Remind me not to play with you anymore.” Liam placed his gun in the holster. “Even though I just beat your ass at Pacman and didn’t gloat.”

  “Should have seized the opportunity.” She began to robot dance.

  “I have a confession to make.” Estella stood at archway of the room.

  From the worry etched on Estella’s face, Raven straightened up. They took a seat on the couch. Gone was the rosiness in Estella’s cheeks as she’d shown them photos of her and Royael at a pageant the past weekend.

  “It’s not my story to tell, really …” Estella twisted her diamond ring.

  “It’s okay, Nana, go ahead,” Liam encouraged with a head nod.

  “I came before the Santa Monica hotel opening because I wanted to spend time with my great grandchild. Then I got here and really enjoyed myself; hence, forgetting my situation.” Estella looked back and forth, eyes glistening. “I must admit that I also had an agenda. I wanted Elise to come clean with a secret that would surely bring you all together, which doesn’t matter now.” Her mouth quavered as she smiled. “Anyhow, both of you deserve the truth. Elise didn’t deceive you, Raven, because you don't have an affluent background. That most certainly wouldn’t be a reason to keep you apart. As a matter of fact, Pierre was a toe from living off the streets when we met. He was pulling his hair out regarding his fragile newspaper company and—”

  “Yes, Nana.” Liam sighed.

  “Well, the two of you being together would ruin the Delacroix—gaudy—image. Elise wanted to make sure nobody knew that Liam was not Jonathan’s son …” Estella told the story of her daughter and Zane Anderson.

  “Wow!” Raven said.

  Liam’s lips were set in a line.

  Raven wondered how he felt, learning Zane Anderson was his father. The uncertainty of not having a father was second nature to her. It seemed just yesterday that they were asking Alvin—Charlene’s childhood friend—if he was her father. But Jonathan had always been Liam’s father. Elise sure did tangle a web of lies, using Jonathan as my father and Liam’s …

  “Estella, tomorrow morning, have your bags ready. The jet will be taking you back to France, or wherever it is you want to go.” His emotions turned off as readily as the flick of a light switch.

  Mouth agape, Estella watched as he walked out.

  “Let me talk to him.” Raven patted her shoulder, feeling her pain. She hurried down the hall and out the front door.

  Crickets chirped on a warm summer night. Stopping dead in her tracks, she watched him straddle a blue Ducati. In an instant, she became a teen again. He held out an extra helmet. She took it and got on the back of the bike, embraced his muscular waist, and considered postponing the talk. He wouldn’t discard Estella if she could help it. Elise had instilled awful values in him as a child, always making it easy to run away from pain. Except, he couldn’t hide from the truth. The secret hadn’t been his grandmother’s fault, but it sucked to be the messenger sometimes.

  ***

  The next morning, Liam crept out of bed to have a heart-to-heart with Nana. The Ducati ride had cleared his mind. Having his love near helped him see life through a new lens.

  He needed to have a chat with Raven when she woke. In his joy to find out that she wasn’t his sister, he didn’t consider what that meant for her. Nana’s confession had brought that to his attention. He remembered the day Charlene said that a truck driver had raped her. Now, he needed to comfort her.

  He got dressed in the bathroom, and with one last look of raven hair and a petite frame, he walked across the bridge. A sunbeam lit the glossy wood floors from the cracked door. He knocked lightly. When she said, “Come in,” he did, allowing his eyes to adjust. At the corner of the house, sunlight came from two glass walls. The linen was in a neat pile on the floor, and her knickknacks had already been stored. She repositioned piles of luggage.

  “Nana, you can stay the rest of summer until Royael starts school.”

  Putting a diamond necklace into her jewelry armory, she didn’t look up. “No, thank you.”

  “Nana.” Liam sighed as she padded into the walk-in closet. He heard sniffling and rustling.

  “You don’t have to call me ‘Nana,’ not anymore.”

  “I’m sorry. I was angry last night. I’m a Junior to a man who’s not my father!” He took one hard fist to his chest, almost ready to cry as she came out of the closet with tear-filled eyes. “Mom never did call me Jonathan Junior, now I see why Liam stuck. I should change my name to Zane Junior. Damn, that doesn’t even sound right.”

  “No, Liam.” Estella patted her eyes with a silk hankie and moved closer to him. “You’re not just a Junior, and you’re not just Elise’s child or a legacy or a Delacroix. You’re a successful man, a father, a tad superficial when it comes to those sports cars, but all things considered, you’re a darn good man!”

  They hugged. When she pulled away, she said, “I guess I’ll let you still call me Nana.”

  “Thanks. I’ll help you put this village worth of luggage back into the closet.”

  “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my petit protégé. I’ll return next summer, and maybe Royael will visit me in Paris. You and Raven are always welcome.”

  Liam nodded. For the first time in his life, he would miss her—all due to Raven. He remembered their conversation a year before. Estella had attempted to profess the truth, even then. That would have been an extra year with his child and Raven. Ever since he moved back to North Carolina to attend Brinton Prep for high school, he’d harbored negative feelings toward her. What would I’ve done if Raven wasn’t home when Estella came a few months ago? Would I have let her stay or spent time with her? He knew the answer was no.

  “I have one last question for you.”

  “Yes?” Liam took a seat at the edge of the bed.

  “Why in the world was Camille at the grand opening? She never comes to events, not even when her father received a Delacroix’s prestige award. You don’t still have feelings for her, do you?”

  To Liam, it was funny how affluent people settled for others in their class even though they hated each other. He’d given her a promotional invitation because she was at his office when he received the final prints. He hadn’t thought Camille would come or blow up his phone so much. She was Mr. Kerr’s daughter, a member of the Delacroix board, but had never attended a grand opening.

  “I don’t know why she won’t get the picture. Looking through my office for my home address when we’ve never been serious. She’s nothing like Raven; I have no feelings for her. We were always about just having fun.”

  ***

  Back in the master bedroom, Raven rolled over and pouted. Aw, man, did Liam go to work? He’d taken off a lot this summer—a trait that a legacy need not possess.

  “Legacy.” Raven chuckled and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She walked down the hallway, wanting to apologize to Estella, since she hadn’t talked with Liam last night. Placing a hand on the knob, she stopped when hearing her name. Was Liam declaring to Estella just how much he loved her? The way he did w
hen her parents gave him the twenty-thousand questions?

  “… Raven. I have no feelings for her. We’re … having fun.”

  No feelings … just fun … Playboy did not settle!

  Veins flamed. A zombie with no brain, she ended up in her old room with its calming green walls. She sank into the cushiony sofa. He owned her. A piece of her soul would always be connected to him. Liam, the old one, would have been heartbroken. Sharon said we fear what we most desire. I desired to love him! And I plunged into it. He signed his name upon my heart. I’ve given him my everything! Trembling fingers went to streams flowing down her cheeks. Standing slowly, she went into the bathroom. Raven placed her hands together, allowing cold water to pool into them, and splashed it on her hot face.

  Raven gave one last look in the mirror; outwardly normal, but inside … dying. She opened it. Liam stood in a grey suit and striped tie. Debonair.

  He smiled and kissed her. “Why are you in here? I thought you moved all of your stuff to our room.”

  Once again, her body became a traitor to her mind as his lips lingered. It took all of her might to step back. I am not your dum-dum. “I’m moving out.”

  Face reeling as if he’d been slapped, he asked, “Why?”

  “I can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  She closed the bathroom door in his face and locked it.

  “Raven, open the door. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  She listened as Liam pled and waited for the voice of reasoning to remind her of all the bad things he’d done to her over a lifetime—she needed the motivation and self-hate like she needed air.

  Guess I have to motivate myself! Trust and believe, Liam, you’re not going to like this. The rollercoaster of fun, Liam mentioned to Estella had run its course. They’d reached their climax, only for Raven to realize that it was solely for his enjoyment. She’d been banking on forever. He’d been splurging on a short ride. The magazines were right. Pierre was right. Those zigs and the zags had thrown her for a loop. Not love.

  Hands over her ears, she waited for him to leave.

  Now came the hard part. She had to get over him again.

  Chapter 33

  October

  The day after Raven moved into a condominium down the hill, Liam ended up at Bella Jeweler in Beverly Hills. He’d felt like his heart had been crushed. Once again, he was that overweight, shy fourteen-year-old in love with his best friend, unable to tell her how he felt. It had been so easy at her parent’s home, and it came natural with Nana. Except, looking into Raven’s eyes, he felt something different. Maybe she wanted something better than that tacky spoon ring? Commitment.

  “Hello, Mr. Lemaître, how can I help you?” The redhead’s voice was as soft as the strumming of the harp player in the center of the store.

  If Raven hadn’t shut down so coldly, he would’ve laid on the asphalt in a tailored suit made of the finest South American Vicuna fabric. I shouldn’t have let her leave. Instead of dwelling on the past, he returned the smile. “Giselda, just the lady I was looking for.”

  She opened the partition separating the displays and went to the men’s jewelry.

  “I’m not here for me.” Liam stepped toward the engagement rings.

  Giselda followed on the other side of the display. “Congratulations! Do you have any particular cut in mind? We also have the loose diamonds and design options available.”

  Liam glanced at the flawless diamonds, none of which held his interest. “I want to design the ring.”

  “Very well.” She motioned for a junior associate in a tan department store suit. “Get the jeweler and a glass of champagne. Actually, bring the bottle. The best of the best,” she whispered the last part. Grinning, she turned back to Liam.

  Chapter 34

  One month, two weeks, four days, three hours, and five minutes and counting was the last time Liam’s lips touched hers. Raven felt like her heart would explode. He’d tried to weasel his way back into her life during the child exchange. She was tempted to force him into meeting at a gas station so they could pass Royael like a sack of potatoes. Each time he’d drop off their daughter, he’d stand in the doorway and give her the puppy face—making her two snaps away from forgetting his “puppy” mask was a dog in disguise. He even tried to put on the charm when they took Royael to her first day of school.

  He'd taken Royael and her friends to Pizza Planet that evening, and their daughter was planning on spending the night. She sat on a burnt-orange suede couch in the living room, wearing a night shirt that stopped mid-thigh, a gallon of red velvet flavored ice cream coming to the rescue while she stared through the TV. The sun hadn’t fully submerged into darkness yet, but Raven was about to welcome a few sleeping pills. The man she loved didn't love her, and the man who should've loved her from day one, her father, was a piece of shit. She'd be meeting said piece of shit tomorrow morning with her mother.

  She'd shoveled a mouthful of the luscious ice cream into her mouth when the doorbell chimed. Raven wrapped the cashmere blanket that was draped across the back of the couch around her legs, held it in place, and stood. Hair in disarray, she peeked through the peephole.

  Sharon? Oh, shit, our Thursday happy hour.

  Raven unlocked the door and let her in.

  Her friend was dressed in her signature red, a wrap dress, and her hair feathered with red tips. “Looks like you'll be pulling lots of numbers tonight, Sharon.”

  “Can I slap you?” Sharon asked, dark-brown eyes dragging up and down in dismay. “Girl, you have the pity party thing down pat.”

  “Thanks, I try.” Raven chuckled. “No hitting, though.”

  “It's been a while since we got together for happy hour. You and Liam were on, good. You guys are like a broken record together, not together … abracadabra together. He breaks your heart every other time he sees you.”

  “Not tonight, Sharon. I can't.” Raven turned around and plopped onto the couch. Should have taken Cassidy up on her offer. Her coworker had invited her to see a comedy. Laughter had the potential of being a momentary reprieve.

  “Why don't we go after him? Get him where it hurts?” Sharon sat next to her, crossing one leg over the other.

  “I can’t stand a vindictive bitch, Sharon. How ’bout that?”

  “It's not about vengeance or tit for tat.”

  “Good, that’s not an option. It hurts me to hurt him.” Raven clutched her chest. “It fucking makes me feel like shit to be mean to a man who once meant everything to me.”

  “A man who once … Listen to yourself. The old Liam is gone. You said that when telling me about his return toward the end of high school. Is Royael with him right now?”

  “Yes, Sharon. Maybe you should go—”

  “Don't push me away. That's what we need to do with him. Don't let him see Royael anymore—”

  “Sharon! We … How is my life, Liam’s life, my daughter’s life about you?” Shit, she hated herself and her psychosis for always running hot or cold. Never in-between. She hated always trying to not overreact when not taking the pills. It was either become mute and let people like Sharon walk over her, or flip out. Flipping out would have her committed.

  “And I don't give a damn how Liam treats me, Sharon. His relationship with Royael is far removed from his relationship with me. Unless he puts his hands on me, I won't stop him from having a relationship with his child!” Raven’s loud voice rose even more as she stood. “I think this friendship is over. Actually, fuck that, I believe we weren't friends from day one, if we were, you'd know that doing something so conniving is … it's wrong.” Raven was so angry she could hardly think. “There are some shitty dads out there—mothers, too—but I'll be damned if I break my baby’s heart over my feelings. Royael is my entire world!”

  “Raven, I know how much you care about The Diva.”

  “Clearly you don't. Please just leave, I'm probably overreacting a little. My mind is spinning.” Raven held open the door.

&nb
sp; “All right, Raven, I apologize.” Sharon nodded slightly before sauntering out the door.

  A few minutes later, Raven settled down on the couch. She pointed her spoon at the carton of ice cream. “You’re supposed to help me not have to take those fucking zombie pills.” Knowing full well that besides talking to herself, eating her woes away wouldn’t help, Raven gave a weak laugh.

  Disinterested in anything, Raven turned off the television. Didn't feel like reading one of her many Kindle books, so she took a shower.

  How did I become friends with Sharon? She stopped herself from dwelling on mistakes while she scrubbed with a loofa. The flurry of brown-sugar suds soothed her soul. She sighed, turned off the water, and got out.

  Back in her bedroom, Raven put on cozy pajamas, and was pulling her feet into fuzzy socks when she noticed a text from Liam.

  “Royael has a tummy ache. Too much pizza. She cried about wanting to come home.”

  “Sorry. Just got your text. Okay, bring her home,” Raven texted back. She was just about to press send when the doorbell chimed once more. She opened the door, standing behind it so Liam could carry their sleeping child to bed. With her arms folded, she waited.

  Soon as Liam stepped into the living room, his first words were, “Raven, we need to talk.”

  “It’s late.” She shooed him out and quickly jammed the deadbolt. Leaning with her back against the door, she laughed at herself. “I was a fool … No more fun for you.”

  Five minutes later, the doorbell rang again. Mumbling cuss words, she scurried over and looked through the peephole to see Royael’s favorite bear in her line of vision. Sneaky bastard. Cringing inwardly, she opened it. She watched as he and Mookie disappeared down the corridor. In a flash, he was back.

  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Go home.” I’ve been an idiot! Raven opened the door.

  Hand above her head, he softly closed it. His other hand took hold of the door frame, leaving her imprisoned.