Two-Step
Page 34
Guilt stabs me because what he’s offering would mean I’d get to go after Iris. But I can’t accept this. She’s my mother.
“She’s only going to get worse,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t leave her to that.”
Nonc exhales a heavy breath. “You’re right. She’s only going to get worse,” he says grimly. “But it doesn’t mean you have to physically be here for the day-to-day.”
I shake my head. “She wouldn’t understand.”
He cocks a brow. “You underestimate her. We could take advantage of her favorite hobby.”
“What do you mean?”
“She loves watching her movies. Can’t you set up her TV so she can—you know—FaceTime or whatever with you?”
I blink.
“FaceTime...I don’t think that would work, but—” Would Skype? Would Zoom? With a Firestick? “She’d need a camera on her TV…”
Nonc’s eyes blaze. “So. Get. Her. One.”
I shake my head. “Even if I did—even if I got her everything and installed it just right, she wouldn’t remember how to turn it on and connect a video conference. Even now, sometimes she needs help putting on a movie.”
His disappointed look is back. “Do you think I could remember how? Hell, do you think we could ask the staff to help her?”
“I-I don’t know.” It’s a thought. It’s the kind of thought that makes my heart start pounding. Would it be enough for Mom? Would it be enough for her to see me on a screen? If so, I’d call her every day.
We couldn’t eat lunch or dinner together, but maybe we could have coffee every morning instead?
We wouldn’t be able to take walks.
But I’d be able to have Iris.
My lungs empty, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
Is it too selfish to want this?
“Beau—” My uncle rests a strong hand on my shoulder, his voice softening. “Lorraine and I don’t have kids. You and Val are the closest we’ve got to that. Let us do this for you. We want to do it. Let us be the boots on the ground for a while.”
I can’t open my eyes. I’m too close to caving. I’m too close to crying.
“You can come visit whenever you want and stay upstairs.” He grips my shoulder. “You can make this work.”
“What on earth? Is that for me?” Mom asks when she sees me carrying in her new Echo Show.
“Yep. Just like I told you yesterday,” I say, hoping to remind her about our conversation about me leaving. To be with Iris. In two days.
It’s been a week since I made the decision. Four days since Paula and her sister decided to buy the tiny house from me so they can hire a caretaker for their property. One day since I bought my plane ticket.
But it’s round trip. Just in case.
“Do you know where I’m going?” I ask, watching Mom’s expression as I set the box down.
“Yes,” she says, smiling. She doesn’t look embarrassed or rattled. Maybe she really does remember. “You’re going to be with… to be with…”
I smile back. “With Iris.”
Mom’s smile grows, and she nods quickly. “Yes, Iris. I just couldn’t think of her name.” She touches her right temple. “Iris. The movie star.”
I laugh. She really does remember. “Yeah, the movie star.”
She points to the Echo Show. “Is that a little… a little…” She searches for the word before pointing to her television.
“A TV?” I offer. She nods. “It’s more like a phone.”
“Oh.” She looks surprised and unsure.
“Yep. You can tell it to call me, and it’ll call me.” I watch her for any signs of overwhelm. This might be asking too much. After researching all of the options, this one seemed to be the most straightforward, especially with the drop-in feature that’ll let us video call her without her needing to answer. I’ve set it up on her coffee table, aiming at her little settee, so the camera is pointed away from her bed and bathroom to preserve her privacy.
Calling us might not be something she can manage on her own, but the executive director said the staff could help her to place calls if she has trouble.
Twenty minutes later, I have the device set up and linked with an account I’ve created for her. I’ve entered all of the contacts she’ll need: Me, Val, Val’s husband Will, Nonc, and Lorraine.
“Come see, Mom,” I say, calling her over.
With graceful steps, she crosses the room, a light smile on her lips as she takes in the bright screen.
“Look at that,” she says, a little awed. “It’s a little TV.”
“It’s a video phone, Mom.”
Her eyes widen in wonder. “How’s that?”
I lean closer and whisper in her ear. “Tell it to call David.”
She eyes me with disbelief, but Mom has always been one to play along. “Call David,” she says to the device.
The screen responds, flashing my uncle’s name and then a female voice says, “Calling David.”
Startled, Mom steps back as the Echo rings just like a phone. But it just rings once before Nonc’s face fills the screen.
Mom gasps.
Nonc grins. “Hey, Gina.”
Mom covers her mouth, but I can see she’s smiling. She drops her hand. “Hi David. I can see you.”
Nonc chuckles. “I can see you too. And this is how you’ll be able to see Beau when he moves.”
Mom looks at me. “Will I be able to see her, too...the one...the one…?”
I nod. “Iris. She’s the one,” I say.
“Iris,” Mom echoes with relief. “She’s the one.”
Chapter Thirty-One
IRIS
“Thanks for the... whatever this is.” Ramon and Sally fill my phone screen as he holds up my housewarming gift. He wears a confused frown.
I stifle a giggle. “It’s a cheese board in the shape of Oklahoma.”
He takes in the roughly hatchet-shaped wooden board I found on Uncommon Goods. “Ohhh.”
I laugh outright. The oddball gift is my way of teasing him. Love has turned him into such a sucker. “It’s very cheesy,” I say, laughing at my own joke.
“Right,” he says flatly.
Beside Ramon, Sally snickers, but she leans into him and plants a kiss on his cheek. In spite of himself, he smiles. Huge. Love may have turned him into a sucker, but it definitely agrees with him.
My two best friends look so happy.
Seeing them like this makes up for the fact that I miss them like crazy.
Which reminds me. “Sally, you still haven’t sent me the dates of your fall break. Are you off the Thursday and Friday or the Friday and Monday? Laird needs them to book the tickets for your visit.”
Sally’s school has a four-day break coming up, and she and Ramon have promised to come stay with me. I can’t wait. In fact, aside from the show, it’s the one thing that I’m looking forward to.
And then I’ll go to Edmond and visit Sally and Ray for Thanksgiving. We’ll see about Christmas. I don’t think I should third-wheel their first Christmas together. Maybe Mica and I can find a trail adventure and disappear into the woods for a while.
I can’t pick up on the AT where Sally and I left off. For one thing, she’d kill me for doing it without her. We’ve already got our route planned for the summer. For another, December is the wrong time to be SOBO—Southbound—so far north.
I’m lost in my trail musings so it takes me a second to realize that Sally hasn’t offered up the dates of their visit. In fact, she and Ramon are eyeing each other with speaking glances.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
They both cut their eyes to the camera, looking guilty.
“You are still coming, right?” Even I hear the metal in my voice. They’d better not stand me up. I’m going to be seriously pissed if they bail on me.
Not to mention depressed. It’s pathetic how badly I need them right now.
“W-Well,” Sally stammers. “We just didn’t know if you really had enough r
oom for us.”
I shoot her a look like she’s crazy. “It’s a three bedroom house. Laird’s in the attached apartment in the back. There’s plenty of room.”
Sally opens and closes her mouth. Ramon shifts uncomfortably.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing—” they both say in unison before glancing at each other in horror.
“Let’s all remember that I’m the actor here,” I snap. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Sally shakes her head. “Nothing’s wrong, Iris.” She says it with so much conviction, I actually believe her.
“You’re still coming, right?”
They both nod vigorously. “We’re still planning on it,” Ramon says.
Planning on it? Why would he stress planning?
“Then give me the dates so I can book your tickets. And if that’s what this is about—me buying your tickets—we’ve been through this.” Only about a dozen times. I’m paying for them. I don’t care how stubborn my friends are. Preschool teachers and personal trainers don’t make anything close to what I’m making. I can easily afford to fly them out here, and they’re just going to have to let me.
Ramon raises a hand as though to halt me. “At least wait until Tuesday to book.”
I frown. “Why Tuesday?”
“Because,” Ramon says sitting up straight and glaring at the camera. “Some airlines give discounts if you book on Tuesdays. You wouldn’t have to spend so much to fly us out there.”
I roll my eyes. Yep, that’s what this is about. “Fine. I’ll book on Tuesday.” Today’s Saturday. I can wait a few days.
With that, Sally finally gives up the dates of her fall break. I jot them down to give to Laird later.
“So, what are you up to today?” Sally asks, picking up her mid-morning coffee and blowing over the rim. This has become our Saturday morning routine. I Facetime them while I make my first cup of coffee, catching them just after their brunch. It’s another one of those little things I look forward to.
These mornings make me feel just a little less lonely. It’s been just over two months since Beau walked out of my life, and I may not cry at the drop of a hat, but the ache I feel is just as fresh. The best thing I can do is stay busy.
“Laird and I are going for a run later.”
Sally sits up straight. “What time?” she asks, her eyes widening. “I-I mean… Do you need to go right now? We don’t want to keep you.”
I frown at her weirdness. “Um, no. Laird had company last night,” I say, grinning at the memory of my hulking and awkward PA introducing me to Colin, the well dressed and funny ad exec whose Audi is still parked in my driveway. “We’ll go later. When he’s feeling up to it,” I say with a suggestive shrug.
Sally bites her lip. “Well… d-don’t wait until it gets too hot. You don’t want to.... dehydrate.”
I screw up my face. “It’s a dry eighty degrees. I think I’ll be okay.”
She shrugs, and I swear, she looks nervous. “Just looking out for you.”
“Right... O-kay…” I take a sip of my coffee and wonder if falling in love has forever changed my two best friends.
It’s just after noon when Laird and I head out for our run. My street straddles West Toluca Lake and Studio City, an older neighborhood. My Tudor-style cottage was built in 1936, as were a lot of its neighbors, so I don’t really mind the jog down Moorpark to the golf course on Toluca Lake.
I’m in love with these houses.
The ones on Toluca Lake Road are pretty ostentatious, but ogling them takes my mind off the running, and at least this two mile stretch isn’t super hilly. Laird already knows my weaknesses.
The sidewalks are good, too. I’m much less likely to trip.
I make him tell me about his date, which could only have gone well, given his high blush. He doesn’t even argue when I ask if we can walk a bit by the gates of the golf course just to catch our breath.
We turn back. It’s a gorgeous day. The sky is such a bright blue, I only feel a tiny stab of envy at the way Laird describes Collin’s sense of humor and how he brought Laird a bottle of real maple syrup in the hopes he’d get to make him pancakes this morning.
He did.
“And how were they?” I wickedly ask when my block is finally in sight.
“Good,” he says, but with his accent, the word rhymes with food.
“Yer boyfrriend fed you good food,” I tease him, mimicking his accent with the same oo sound in the last three words and a bump over the r in boyfriend.
“He’s naw my boyfrriend,” Laird says, but then the corner of his wide mouth turns up. “Naw yet, anyway.”
I laugh at this and slow to walking. We’re almost home, so he lets me get away with it. He’s blushing too hard anyway, and that just amuses me even more. A run and a good laugh and someone else’s happiness. Little things.
I’ll take what I can get these days.
I’m looking up at him, drinking in his joy, his embarrassment, so I see when he trades his smile for a frown. “Who’s tha?”
I follow his gaze to the covered arch of my front door. Someone’s sitting on the steps.
I jerk to halt, freezing in place.
Is that?
It can’t be. It can’t be.
It’s not him, I tell myself. Don’t let yourself believe it’s him. It’ll only crush you when it’s n—
But then he sees me, and Beau gets to his feet.
“Irris?” Laird presses.
I unfreeze and lift one foot, but my PA/personal trainer/nutritionist/body guard seizes me by the arm.
“Do you know him?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but there’s no air. The knot in my throat makes speech impossible. I nod, frantic, as I watch Beau look from me to Laird’s hand on my arm up to Laird, who towers over me.
The lines of Beau’s face sharpen. He reaches down and picks up a backpack. It hits me that it’s the same one he took hiking when we went to Chicot.
When we kissed for the first time.
Oh my God, he’s here.
My heart dances as poorly as I do, tripping over itself and taking two beats for every one it should execute. I’m breathing like I just finished a sprint, not an easy jog.
“You alrright?” Laird asks, still gripping me.
I swallow hard and manage another nod. But really, my head is spinning. I lean into Laird’s grip as we walk up my front path.
Beau scowls as he hitches his backpack onto his shoulder. His eyes pierce mine. “I see I should have called.”
I have imagined this a thousand times. Dreamed and fantasized about Beau turning up on my doorstep. Every time, I’ve been inside and have opened my arched door to find him smiling down at me.
In none of my fantasies has he opened with I see I should have called.
“Huh?”
In none of my fantasies do I open with Huh?
This is going swimmingly so far.
Beau’s scowl etches deeper, and he jerks his chin toward Laird. “You found someone else,” he says, matter-of-factly. “That was bound to happen. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.”
I blink at him. He’s so beautiful. Just so beautiful. And why are we talking about my personal trainer?
“Of course I found someone else. I need motivation and discipline.” I sweep my hand up and down my body. “This isn’t going to take care of itself.”
Beau chokes.
“Erm, Irris?” Laird hoarse whispers. “I dunnaw think—”
“And I like having someone here at night,” I add. “I got used to it in Lafayette.”
Beau’s jaw tightens. His nostrils flare.
“Irris,” Laird hisses. “Purrhaps I shood intrroduce meself.”
Where are my manners? Probably where my hands itch to be. Down Beau’s pants.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Laird, this is Beau Landry.” I gesture to the man I love who, for some reason, is glaring at me like I just set him on fire. “Beau, this is Laird Suthe
rland.”
Still steadying me with one hand, Laird offers his other to Beau. “I worrk forr Irris.” He beats his r’s twice in each word. I’m used to it, but I watch Beau’s eyes narrow.
“You what?” He doesn’t touch Laird’s hand. It’s kind of rude.
“I worrk forr Irris,” Laird says again, not much clearer than the first time. “I’m Rramon’s rreplacement.”
Beau’s eyes flash, and I swear, he does a double-take. Laird. To me. To Laird’s hand on my arm. Back to me.
“You. Work. For. Iris,” Beau says, enunciating each word as though testing the truth of it.
“Yes,” Laird says.
Beau isn’t scowling anymore. “You’re Ramon’s replacement,” he echoes.
“Yes.” He chuckles with what sounds like relief.
“Ramon neglected to mention that,” Beau mutters, and then his hand shoots out and grabs Laird’s. He pumps it hard, beaming now. “Nice to meet you, Laird.”
Ramon? This morning’s phone call with my two best friends takes on a whole new meaning. I gasp. “Oh my God—”
“Yeah.” Beau aims his smile on me.
“You thought—”
“Yeah.” His smile turns bashful. “Serves me right. I should have called. Especially after…”
After ignoring all my calls. It’s my turn to scowl.
“Yeah,” I say, but far less warmly than he just did.
Laird releases my arm. “Irris, if you don’t need anythin—”
“I’m good, Laird,” I clip, never taking my eyes off Beau.
“I’ll be in the ba—”
“Thanks.”
When the giant Scotsman disappears behind the hedges on the side of the house, I take a moment to process the last three minutes.
“You’re here,” I say carefully.
For the record, I want to be thrilled that he’s here. But I’m also seriously pissed at him. And I’m a little miffed with Ramon and Sally. How could they be in on this and say nothing to me? But I’ll have to deal with them later.
“I’m here,” Beau says, grinning.
I blink. The grin is all-powerful. I’ve missed him so much. I blink again just to make sure I’m not imagining this.