Somebody to Love

by Ann Christopher

  “I’ve made my peace with it,” she said, which was also perfectly true. Edward radiated incandescent happiness every time she saw him these days, which was in sharp contrast to the pleasant apathy he’d demonstrated during much of his relationship with Amber. The bottom line? Edward clearly loved his new girlfriend Reeve in a way he had never and could never love Amber. Hell, he’d told her as much. Since Amber wasn’t the type to rip a bitch’s wig off and scratch her eyes out, her choices were limited to either curling up in a fetal position and dying from the pain or making her peace with it. So she’d made her peace with it. Simple. “Any other questions?”

  “Yeah. Are you over him?”

  Amber blinked, as unnerved by the question as she was by the focused intensity of Sean’s gaze on her face. Much as she wanted to pretend she was as strong and indestructible as Okoye from The Black Panther, there were plenty of days when she felt as though her collapsible vibranium spear would never show up.

  “I’m getting there,” she admitted, the best she could do.

  “I’m not in love with that answer,” he said with a grimace. “This is me volunteering to help you get over him a lot faster.”

  All that sexy concern was working for her and her buzzing hormones, she had to admit. If Sean kept looking at her like that, she’d ask him back to her apartment, where he could help her get over Edward from the comfort of her bed.

  So she raised her glass.

  “I’ll drink to that. Here’s to getting rid of the bullshit in your life. And to new days and new opportunities with new people. In new towns. And to no regrets.”

  “I’ll drink to all of that. Cheers.”

  They clinked. Drank. Sean’s thoughtful gaze dropped to the table, which gave her a sneaking suspicion.

  “Hang on.” She studied him more closely, not liking the sudden tension in his jaw. “Why am I getting the feeling that you have something going on in your past?”

  He looked startled.

  “Turnabout’s fair play,” she said, experiencing an unwelcome twinge of jealousy at the thought of him with some other woman. Probably someone who easily fit into sample sizes and didn’t have to watch her calories quite so much. “You didn’t think about that when you were being nosy a minute ago, did you?”

  “I did not,” he said sourly. “I was also counting on you having a much worse memory than you seem to have.”

  “Too bad,” she said, snapping her fingers several times to get him started. “So?”

  “I dated some back in Napa. Nothing serious. I wasn’t in that headspace. I was all about the restaurant. Moving on up the food chain.”

  “But…?”

  “But I was pretty into one of my classmates back in law school.” He paused, his face reddening with unmistakable embarrassment. “She wound up marrying my brother. A big-time criminal defense attorney.”

  “Whoa.”

  “So there was that. Not my finest hour, that whole law school period of my life.”

  She could see that. The strain of it was written all over his face.

  “What was it you told me earlier? Good riddance? That.”

  He grinned and snapped out of his sudden mood, giving her a tremendous surge of satisfaction. “Works for me.”

  “So how did your interview go today?”

  His grin widened.

  “Great, actually. It was my second one at this particular restaurant. I’ve already met the executive chef, who’s leaving to start his own restaurant. Today I met both the owners. They’re looking for someone who’s confident with global flavors. That’s got me written all over it. We all hit it off. I’ve got a good feeling about this one.”

  “Are you serious?” He seemed so boyish and excited that she couldn’t help but be thrilled for him. “That’s wonderful!”

  “Let’s hope so,” he said darkly. “I’ve been looking since the summer. Hard to keep my morale up when I’ve been rejected by damn near every restaurant in town.”

  “I know about rejection. That’s why I’m in the market for a new career. When will you hear back from them?”

  “Right away, they said.”

  “You’re going to land this one. I can feel it.” She raised her glass. “Here’s to finding our dream jobs.”

  “To dream jobs.”

  They clinked again.

  “What about you?” he asked. “Parents? Siblings?”

  “Parents got transferred to Atlanta a few years ago. Younger brother in Sacramento.”

  “Nice.”

  They finished their drinks and created a now what? moment. Sean set his empty glass on the table and gave her a pointed look.

  “This could go a couple different ways. We could have another drink here. We could have dinner here or at a great little sushi place around the corner.” He hesitated, hitting her with that unexpected vulnerability again. “You could send me back to Journey’s End on the late train, dashing my hopes and leaving me a shell of my former self.”

  She laughed, wishing she could tell him that he had a better chance of being called into service as the next Russian president.

  Almost as much as she wished she could do what she really wanted, which was to invite him back to her apartment. Right now.

  But she wasn’t that girl. Had never been that girl.

  If he invited himself up? Maybe then. The wine and the growing ache of her desire for him gave him a solid 50 percent chance with her tonight, even if he was a near stranger. But she’d never have the guts or the courage to make a first move like that, even on this exciting day of no regrets and new freedoms.

  “What’s it going to be?” he asked quietly, his new stillness a dead giveaway that this was no throwaway question.

  “Well, let’s see. I love sushi. It’s my last night in New York and I feel like it should be special.” She held his gaze, shrugging. “Why not put all that together? See what happens?”

  “There’s plenty of room for this whole thing to go south,” he said, pulling out his wallet and tossing some money on the table, his movements swift, sure and excited. As for his relieved grin? Pure boyish delight. “But I’m having a pretty great day so far.”

  His sincerity acted as a balm to her ego, which was bruised and battered after the slow decline of her last relationship and Edward’s increasing distance. But it felt like something else was going on here as well. Other men had tried to hook up with her since her breakup, and it was fun to see them trip over themselves as they tried to bag a model. She wasn’t going to lie. But there was something about Sean’s open expression, his genuine interest in her life and his startling hints of vulnerability that really spoke to her.

  It felt like there was a connection here. Maybe connection was too big a word to give it, but there was something. And she wouldn’t be the one to put the brakes on it. Not tonight.

  She nodded, doing her best not to simper. “I’m having a pretty great day, too. Other than the whole part about abandoning my career.”

  He stood as they laughed together. Helped her with her chair and coat. And when they went outside, where the frigid night air said a brisk hello to her cheeks as they set off down the sidewalk, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to huddle closer to Sean. To let him take her hand and to lace her fingers with his. To tip her smiling face toward his in the hopes that he would kiss her again without her having to ask this time.

  So it was with some surprise that she discovered his avid and unsmiling eyes locked on her face, his gaze hard and searching.

  “Do I have a chance with you?”

  It was an odd question to ask as people streamed past on either side of them, not least of all because she was pressed up against his side, with her breast brushing his arm as they walked, and she was fairly certain that her body language screamed Take me, I’m yours!

  Whatever Sean meant about chances, it wasn’t limited to tonight. And that was the best thing she’d heard all day.

  “Yes.”

  A smile flic
kered across his face as he let her hand go and started to cup her cheeks.

  Yes, she thought as her eyes drifted closed. A stronger yes. A more emphatic yes—

  Until his phone buzzed, breaking the mood.

  They both stiffened. Sean reluctantly dropped his hands.

  “Sorry,” he muttered as he reached for his pocket. “I thought I turned that off.”

  “It’s okay,” she said, hastily backing up a step and welcoming the reprieve from this combustible chemistry between the two of them. If things kept up at this pace, they’d wind up screwing each other up against one of the brick brownstone walls here in this fancy neighborhood, and she had no real desire to get arrested and spend the night in a holding cell. “Go ahead and take it.”

  He gave her cheek a quick kiss, checked the display and gasped.

  “It’s the restaurant owner from this afternoon,” he told her, wide-eyed.

  “Oh, my God. This is it! Take it!”

  He shot her a nervous smile, hitting the button as she took his arm and steered him around the corner of the nearest brownstone, where they’d be out of the steady stream of pedestrians.

  “Yeah, hello,” he said, sounding a little breathless, his expression full of all the hopes and dreams he’d just told her about. “This is Sean Baldwin.”

  He listened, all of his high hopes melting into unmistakable disappointment the way a candle melts when tossed into the crackling flames in a fireplace.

  Her heart sank. She listened hard, catching a man’s booming voice on the other end as it issued such useless platitudes as We decided to go in another direction, We know you’ll land on your feet and You’ve got a great future.

  Sean, to his credit, took it like a man and kept his tone upbeat. But there was no missing the way he ducked his head and his shoulders slumped.

  “Yep,” he concluded. “I’ll do that. I appreciate the opportunity. Yeah, you too. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thanks.”

  He hung up and stared, stunned, down at his phone.

  She knew exactly how he felt. She’d walked this rejection walk in her own life more times than she cared to remember. The one thing she knew? She wasn’t smart enough to come up with meaningful words of comfort at this moment. He just needed to ride out the disappointment and let himself heal before getting back on that horse.

  Still, she had to say something.

  “Sean…”

  “It’s okay,” he said lightly, trying to smile as he put his phone away again. “That wasn’t the job for me. It’s fine.”

  “Yeah, but —”

  Without warning, his entire body seemed to droop.

  “Fuck.” He turned in a loose circle, pressing his hands to the sides of his head. “I really thought that was the one. Fuck.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she said helplessly, doing her best not to internalize his pain and/or demand the name of the restaurant so she could march down there and kick some ass, both of which she was sorely tempted to do. “You know there’s something better waiting for you.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said, keeping his head down as though he was now too embarrassed to even look her in the eye. “It’s fine. I always land on my feet.”

  “Well…” She paused, wishing she knew the appropriate response for a situation like this. “I’ll understand if you don’t feel like dinner now.”

  His head came up. He tried to smile, but she got the feeling he was too bogged down with humiliation to manage it.

  “I do feel like dinner. But I’ll understand if you want to go back to the train station and find the peacock. I’m sure he has a job.”

  “Sean…”

  He shook his head. Muttered another curse.

  “This is not how I wanted things to go down tonight. I really wanted to make a good impression with you. I’m punching way above my weight here. You know that, don’t you?”

  She gaped at him, her mind spinning.

  He was punching—?

  What parallel alternate universe had she inadvertently slipped into? Did this man actually not know that the way he looked at her made her breath catch in her throat and her skin burn?

  She took his hand again and edged closer, deciding not to work quite so hard to keep her heart off her sleeve.

  “You’re actually doing yourself a favor with this little failure,” she said, her voice turning husky. “Otherwise I’d start thinking that a sexy good guy like you is way too good to be true.”

  Sean let out a long and serrated exhale, his eyes beginning to sparkle as he stared at her.

  “Invite me back to your apartment, Sweetness,” he said softly.

  Hesitating or playing coy never crossed her mind.

  “Come back to my apartment with me.”

  There was the flash of a relieved smile before he leaned in and gave her the gentlest kiss of intent.

  “You’re safe with me,” he told her. “I swear you’re safe with me.”

  With any other guy, she would’ve rolled her eyes. What else would you expect from a man who desperately wanted to get laid?

  But with Sean? She’d researched him online earlier, discovering that he was exactly who he said he was. The doorman would see him when she took him home, and since this was her very last night in the apartment, she didn’t have to worry about the doorman’s judgment or any building gossip. Most of all, that thing about Sean, whatever it was, called to her. The steady warmth in his eyes reassured her.

  And she wanted him. She wanted this, whatever this turned out to be.

  “I know I’m safe with you,” she said, leaning in for another kiss. “Why do you think I asked you?”

  Chapter Five

  “Nice place,” Sean said a few minutes later, laying his topcoat onto the back of the nearest chair. “Are you sad to be leaving it?”

  Last-minute nerves had gotten the best of Amber—she’d invited a strange man back up to her apartment; what the hell did she think she was doing?—so it took her a beat or two to get her head back in the game and study the apartment through his eyes. It was a decent sized two-bedroom, with high ceilings, exposed brick walls and only a few remaining boxes, her large pieces of furniture and this month’s Vogue magazine to represent the cozy home she’d made for herself here in the city. She thought about the good times she’d had there. The bad times she’d had there, most of which were concentrated in the last six months or so. She searched her heart and discovered that the only thing she felt was…indifference.

  “No.” She took a deep breath to steady herself, deciding that if she’d come this far, she wasn’t going to go down in flames now. She took off her own coat. Tossed it atop his. Unwound her scarf and took her time about pulling it free from her neck, noting his rapt attention as she did so. Put her phone on the coffee table. “I’m ready for new things in my life.”

  “And new people,” he said as he took an unhurried step closer, his lids dropping to half-mast.

  “And new people,” she said, taking her own step.

  He took her hand and reeled her in, close enough for her to smell the faint spicy scent of his skin and feel the heat field from his big body, but not one inch closer.

  “Not sure what the rules are for tonight.” His voice got throatier by the syllable. “But I’m dying to touch you.”

  They stared at each other across the distance of a couple feet while she reminded herself of a couple of key factors. The doorman knew he was there, for one. She was generally a good judge of character, for another, the notable exception being spending those seven hopeful years with the man who wound up ditching her and finding his evident soulmate ten minutes later. That it wasn’t too late to pump the brakes, apologize for sending him mixed signals and get him the hell out of there.

  But she didn’t want him to leave. She wanted him in her bedroom. In her bed. Inside her. Which meant the day’s second point of no return for her. A second inflection point.

  The only question was, was she ready?

  With Sean’s hands so war
m and strong around hers, there was only one answer she felt capable of giving.

  “If you’re dying to touch me,” she said, staring him in the face, “then touch me.”

  The grant of permission, spoken aloud in her neediest tone, unleashed something inside both of them. He made a guttural sound of relief. Of excitement, possibly even joy. Set his hands free and pulled her into his arms with the rough urgency of a man losing his battle with self-control. Angled her head and sealed his mouth over hers for the kind of kiss that left a woman feeling consumed, shaken and desperate for more. He covered every inch of her lips with exquisite skill, alternately nipping, sucking and licking until she was too winded and undone to manage even a token stab at his name. Her name, meanwhile, poured out of his mouth between kisses. She had no idea how he managed to say anything at all with the way he used her up. But he managed to sound like he was simultaneously begging her for something, accusing her of something and praising her for something.

  And all she could do was lock her arms around his neck, pull him closer and marvel at the fact that this new man, a complete stranger, had already wanted her more in the last three minutes than Edward had during their entire relationship.

  Sean’s hands were all over her, everywhere at once in an endless crisscrossing stroke. On top of her head and weaving through her hair. Massaging her nape and shoulders. Running down her back and kneading her ass while also grinding her up against the length of an impressively long and hard dick. Inching up the hemline of her knit dress, savoring her bare thighs and the lacy string of her thong with a masculine rumble of approval. Then he increased the pressure on her ass, giving her unnecessary encouragement to hop up and wrap her legs around his waist.

  And there she was, staring down at him in utter shock, her mouth agape and her strained lungs heaving for air while that tritest of trite sayings about sex looped through her head:

  No one told me it could be like this.

  What would it be like when he was finally inside her? At this rate? She’d probably spontaneously combust into a shower of shooting stars, rainbows and unicorns.