In Service of Love

by Laurel Greer

  He grinned. “I think we can make that work.”

  * * *

  A couple of hours later, Asher wiped the sweat and sawdust off his face and forearms with a rag he’d tucked in the back pocket of his jeans. He was using the main space of the barn as his work area, what Lachlan had explained would be the indoor training and multipurpose area. But for now, it was a cement-floored, empty-walled, square room, about half the size of a small tennis court. A safe enough space for Ruth, as all the major construction work was done and she knew the rules about being safe around power tools and stacks of supplies. Boring for her, though. Asher was halfway through installing the flooring in the office spaces and classroom. The cabinet work would take longer, so he had weeks left of Ruth’s long sighs. He’d emphasized how this would mean skiing soon, and she was on board, but hanging around watching her dad do construction work wasn’t exactly riveting.

  Hopefully Maggie didn’t mind having Ruth pitch in with the dog. They’d vacated for the yard once he turned on the circular saw. The dog had nearly hit the ceiling at that noise.

  After cleaning up his work site, he headed outside to find his daughter. He was sorely tempted by Maggie’s invitation for a walk, but would he be outstaying his welcome?

  At least he knew she wasn’t looking for a deep connection of any kind. Her “I don’t date” had been pretty damn clear. Which lined up nicely with his commitment to keeping Ruth’s and his life simple.

  The part of him that wanted to stare at Maggie’s dancing smile and lithe form all damn day would just have to piss off.

  He stepped onto the grass, and a hundred-and-fifty-plus pounds of Great Dane galloped toward him like the world’s most ungainly white-tailed deer. Jackson wasn’t wearing his vest, and a chew rope dangled from one side of his mouth.

  “Hey, buddy.” He scratched the dog’s ears and got a full-body lean in return that rocked him back on his heels. Catching his balance, he grinned at Ruth, who stood across the lawn with Maggie.

  Maggie smacked her hands against her jeans-covered thighs to call the dog back. “Jackson, come.”

  A brilliant smile split his daughter’s lips as she motioned for the dog to drop the rope and then tossed it, sending the beast gamboling across the lawn again.

  His heart squeezed at the joy on Ruth’s face, and he strolled over.

  “Liking that smile, peanut.” He took in Maggie, her blond curls bouncing around her face. “Thanks so much for including Ruth.”

  “She was a big help,” Maggie said. “Did you decide on the walk?”

  He hadn’t needed to decide—his daughter’s happiness did it for him. Even if it meant hiding how, in an ideal world, he’d be more interested in an adults-only date. “Yeah, we’re up for that. As long as we find some ice cream on the way.”

  A half hour later, Asher handed Maggie her raspberry cheesecake swirl cone. Her appreciative smile hit him square in the chest, and he almost stumbled back against the waist-high counter from the impact. Man, this woman’s smile could shake the earth.

  And all his good intentions.

  He mentally steeled himself and smiled back.

  “Thank you,” she said, Jackson in his vest at her side as she waded through the Sunday afternoon crowd in the ice-cream shop, Gallatin Gelato. “You have good taste in flavors.”

  He raised his own double scoop—the same flavor as hers—and held the door open for her. No reason to read anything into coincidentally ordering identical treats—it wasn’t that odd a choice. “Too many good options. Ruth and I might have to make a weekend habit of coming here so I can try them all.”

  He and Ruth followed Maggie as she turned right along the town center’s raised sidewalk. Ruth was quiet, busy enjoying her blue bubble gum scoop nestled in a waffle cone.

  “I’d say your waistline would complain from repeat visits,” Maggie said, “but you don’t look like you have to think about that.” A second after casually tossing that out, she stumbled on the wood planking. Jackson went on the alert, nudging her ankle and freezing in place.

  “You okay?” Asher asked, chest warming a little that she’d admitting to paying attention to his physique.

  She reddened, and he got the distinct impression that her stumble hadn’t been a training exercise. Had she not meant to give him the compliment, either? It had been fairly offhand. Maybe she hadn’t meant it as anything but an observation.

  “I’m fine,” she said. She praised the dog and started walking again. They spent a few minutes strolling along the sidewalk with Ruth leading the way. Maggie pointed out some of the stores in the vicinity.

  “The town should hire you as a tour guide,” he said.

  Her cheeks pinked again, matching the swirl of raspberry in her cone. “I used to work for the Chamber of Commerce during the summer. Old habits die hard.”

  “No, I appreciate it. I mean, Caleb and Garnet have shown me around a few times, but it never hurts to have another perspective. Got any leads on used ski equipment for kids? Garnet’s employee discounts don’t extend to her fiancé’s niece, so she can’t help with Ruth’s ski costs as much as I’d hoped.”

  “Yeah, Skis and Spokes runs a consignment program.” She waved her free hand at a large storefront anchoring one of the four sides of the town square. The pedestrian-only area, four streets framing a pristine lawn, buzzed with activity, despite it being the early October shoulder season.

  “That’d be perfect. What do you say, Ruth—should we check out some skis next Saturday?” Next Shabbat was an off week for their small synagogue in Bozeman. His beliefs didn’t run as deeply as his mother’s did or Alex’s had, but Ruth had really benefited from the community and rituals since Alex’s death. Asher made it a priority to attend services whenever possible.

  Her face lit up even more than when she’d been playing with Jackson and he’d suggested ice cream. “Seriously, Daddy?”

  “Of course. As long as you can keep being patient while I get the finishing work done, we can start looking at getting you up on the hill. We’ll have to wait to figure out the ski team, but Garnet’s happy to give you lessons once the season starts, regardless.”

  Ruth frowned. “Oh. Not the team.”

  “Not yet.” His gut pinched. He had no problem saying no to his daughter when it had to do with setting healthy boundaries, but having to deny her a new athletic activity made him question his parenting abilities. “I’ll see how much money I manage to save while working on the barn.”

  “I know, Dad.” She trudged ahead, glancing longingly at a high-end sporting goods store window as they passed.

  A flash of turquoise, Ruth’s favorite color, caught his eye from the window display. The snow jacket looked to be her size. Maybe if it went on sale at some point, he’d see about getting it for her birthday in January. But that was something to deal with later. Right now, he was far more interested in getting closer to the woman walking alongside him. The breeze fluttered around them, sending little whiffs of her scent his way, and damn, she smelled like a dream. “Jackson seems a hundred percent in tune with you.”

  She blew out a breath. Her knuckles whitened around the dog’s short lead. “He’s awesome as a support dog. But you saw him today with the noise from the saw. I’m running out of ways to help him over his fear.”

  He hated the defeat in her tone. “That sucks, Maggie. What’s your next step?”

  “Sound recording therapy. But I dunno. If he hasn’t responded already...” Her lips screwed up tight for a second. “Failing is the worst.”

  “Grandpa says that if we fall down seven times, stand up eight,” Ruth said offhandedly before taking a big lick of her bright blue ice cream cone. “And Papa told me failing’s part of learning.”

  Maggie’s mouth twitched from disappointment to amused. “That’s solid advice.”

  “Alex was a teacher,” Asher said. “Infinit
ely more patient and wise than I am.”

  To the point where, in his lowest moments, his blackest grief, he wondered why in the world it had been Alex to die rather than himself. That Ruth would have been better off... But it didn’t do much good dwelling on life’s mysteries. He’d just follow Alex’s advice and do his best. And learn any time he screwed up.

  “Sounds like your Papa was a pretty great guy,” Maggie said to Ruth. “Which doesn’t surprise me, because you’re a rather lovely kid.”

  “Thank you,” Ruth said, a hint of “I know” coloring her tone. She’d been praised lavishly since she was a baby, so she accepted it as truth. “Maggie, I was wondering...”

  “Dr. Reid,” he murmured.

  “Maggie said I could use her first name, Dad.”

  Oh, the beleaguered tone of a preteen. “Excellent. Just checking.”

  “Anyway,” Ruth continued, dark eyes growing serious. “What happens... Well... What happens if Jackson doesn’t get used to noises?”

  Maggie paused as they crossed the street to the green space, clearly weighing her words. “Well, the organization I’m training him for will rehome him.”

  Ruth stiffened. “You’re not going to keep him?”

  “He’s not mine to keep.”

  “Well, that’s the worst,” Ruth announced. “Oh!” She perked up. “There’s Harper. Can I go say hi?”

  “Of course,” he said.

  She sprinted across the lawn, skirting the gazebo, a frilly, pastel-painted structure reminiscent of the Cape Cod houses they’d rented as a family on summer vacations. It had been a tradition from his childhood that he and Alex had kept up as parents, up until Alex got too sick to travel.

  “She’s delightful, Asher,” Maggie said, gaze tracking his bounding daughter. Jackson looked longingly in Ruth’s direction, but stayed close to Maggie’s side.

  “I like to think so.”

  “Says a lot about you.”

  He shrugged. “It’s all guesswork. And following my parents’ example.”

  Her forehead furrowed. “Can’t say my parents provided any parenting skills I’d want to mimic.”

  “Sorry to hear that.”

  She sighed. “I don’t want kids of my own, so it’s moot.”

  Yeah, he doubted that. Deciding not to have kids was fine and good, but growing up with crappy parents sure wasn’t. He’d experienced that intimately with Alex’s family. And Maggie deciding to open up intrigued him. A change from her guardedness, from how she’d so obviously been avoiding him. How much time would it take to fully break through the wall she had built up? But that wasn’t the right way to look at it. He cringed at the thought of breaking something about her, even if it was a metaphor. Talk about exactly what Alex’s parents had tried to do to their son. No, any leeway into Maggie Reid’s psyche would have to be freely offered up. An autumn project, perhaps. Convince her he was trustworthy.

  He’d start with some semi-common ground. “I wasn’t sure about parenthood, myself. I could have gone either way. But Alex loved kids—I was happy to follow his lead. And Ruth, well... Can’t ask for a better child.”

  She nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, I love kids when they’re older, but I’m not maternal around babies.”

  “No judgment here.” He held up his hands. “I had lots of kid-free friends in Brooklyn. And I can’t say the infant stage was my favorite part of fatherhood. Ruth keeps getting more fun the older she gets.”

  “A bonus to living in the city—far more people who aren’t hitched and procreating.” She motioned toward the groupings of families tossing Frisbees and lounging on the grass. “Even though Sutter Creek has its fair share of seasonal employees, the core is pretty two-parent, three-point-four-kid based. I’m an outlier.”

  She was? She’d had conversations with about eight different people while they’d been waiting for their ice cream. “You seem pretty tied to the town.”

  “Oh, I am. Sutter Creek is in my blood. Through my grandparents, that is—I can probably count on one hand the number of times my parents have been here in the past twenty years. They haven’t even come to meet Laura yet. Stella hasn’t, either. And that’s not the kind of person or neighbor I want to be. I just meant that being single and not being a mom doesn’t really fit the mold.”

  “Better to break the mold than force yourself into it,” he said. “Trying to live a lie eventually hurts more than it does to live outside everyone’s expectations.”

  She raised a brow and corrected Jackson when he sidestepped too far from her hip. “A personal lesson?”

  “Yeah. The assumptions people make about me being bi never fail to amaze.” Fortunately, he’d been born to accepting, open parents. His road hadn’t been quite as bumpy to travel as some of the journeys of his friends back in New York, but had still had its challenges. He’d started to think about coming out at eighteen, first wondering if he was gay, then being told by a school counsellor that it was likely just a phase because he’d had a girlfriend. For a while he’d believed there was something entirely wrong with him before he finally broke down in front of his mom. She’d talked things out with him, had accepted him, helped him to accept himself. Having a safe retreat had made it easier when people questioned him about when he was going to pick a side or assuming he was attracted to every living, breathing human on the planet.

  Maggie blew out a breath. “Learning to be true to yourself isn’t exactly painless, though.”

  “No, not at all,” he agreed. “Didn’t magically get easier with age, either. Alex and I had to accept that our love meant never having a relationship with his parents. Not the easiest thing to explain to Ruth. But we decided living life—rejecting hate—was the best example to set for her.”

  “They... But...” Her mouth fell open.

  “Don’t worry about defining it. There aren’t the right words.”

  “Do people give her a hard time?”

  “Sometimes about having two dads, sometimes about her ethnicity. Depends on where we are. She’s pretty resilient most of the time. More than I was at her age.” He waved at his daughter, who was halfway across the lawn, skipping in his direction.

  She came to a halt, cheeks pink and eyes bright. “Harper asked me over for dinner. Can I go?”

  “What are they having, love?”

  “Cheeseburgers. But I can ask to keep the cheese off,” she said hurriedly, smile wobbling.

  He nodded at his daughter’s attempt to fit their eating habits in with her social life. “Okay. Just do your best. And be honest with whoever is cooking dinner if you need to. If there aren’t enough options, you can eat when you get home. We have leftover udon in the fridge.” He turned to Maggie. “Be back in a minute.”

  He walked Ruth back to her friend and confirmed details with Harper’s dad, who seemed unfazed by the particularities of Ruth’s diet.

  Asher left his daughter to make friends. Was that what he was doing with Maggie? Making friends?

  He couldn’t tell if his jittering nerves were from leaving Ruth with a new family or from the time alone with Maggie.

  She was doing a big loop around the grassy square with the dog, practicing training maneuvers and occasionally having to calm him when he got spooked. He made it back to her side just as she was rising from a simulated fall like the one in the library that he’d thought was real.

  She brushed off her knees and cocked a blond brow. “I’m ignorant on this one—cheeseburgers aren’t kosher?”

  “Nope. No milk and meat in the same meal,” he answered.

  “Huh. I feel I should have known that, given I’ve eaten at your brother’s house a few times.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Caleb’s nonobservant. And I’m not a hundred percent. Other than on holidays, we only keep a kosher-style kitchen. Alex and I decided it was enough to strike a balance.”


  She nodded. “Well, you’re safe at my house. I’m vegetarian—my kitchen’s been meat-free since I bought the place from my grandfather a few years back.”

  That was close to an invitation—

  Close, but not exactly. She isn’t interested in you coming over.

  Nor could he afford to wish she was. Best to keep things in friend mode. “I’ll remember that if we’re ever at a group function—I’ll bring something vegetarian friendly.”

  “Thank you, I—” She coughed, blushing. “Are you going to finish up more work on the barn? Now that you’re free and easy for a few hours?” Her gaze darted to the dog, who stood at her side, intent on his task. Her hand tightened on his lead.

  “I will. But I’ll probably grab something to eat first.” No time like the present to work on trying to get her to relax a little more. Friends could share a meal out, after all. “Feel like joining me?”

  “Sorry. I need to keep working with Jackson.” She tugged on her lip with her teeth. “You’ll be at the barn on Tuesday? With Ruth?”

  “By myself,” he explained. “She has Hebrew school that afternoon. Caleb’s going to take her to Bozeman—he has some errands to run.”

  “Do you like Thai food?”

  “Love it.” Loved where this was going, too.

  “Tofu pad Thai okay? And veggie green curry?”

  Warmth bloomed in his belly and he grinned. “Absolutely.”

  “I’ll grab takeout. See you then.” Dropping a quick goodbye, she jogged off, the dog loping at her side.

  He barely had time to say goodbye, or to thank her for the tour around the square before she was out of earshot. And her impulsive offer had seemed to surprise her as much as it had him. But something about her determination made him believe that, unlike last week, when she promised she’d see him at work, she’d follow through.

  Chapter Five

  After seeing her last patient on Tuesday, Maggie ran out to retrieve the takeout she’d promised Asher. Jackson stared at her from his harnessed spot in the crew cab of her truck, his brown eyes communicating some sort of deep sorrow in the reflection of the rearview mirror. That, or he wanted to dig into the pad Thai sitting in a paper bag on the floorboard of the front passenger seat.