Say You Desire Me (Full Moon, #3)

by Van Mol, Stefanie

  If Max finds out what I’ve done, he’ll freak the hell out. And I don’t know for sure that I can blame him. What the hell was I thinking? There is no way this will ever end well. John is not the type of man that wants a relationship, and I’m not the kind of woman that wants a few casual hookups. Not to mention that I’ll be going home at the end of this summer, and John has to stay with the band. So, it’s only a matter of time before this has to end.

  The waiter keeps asking me questions, but my mind’s preoccupied. The hairs on my neck tingle and I don’t need to look up to know that he’s somewhere around. I look around the room and my gaze is drawn to him immediately. He stands at the entrance of the dining room; looking directly at me. His eyes curious. He looks at me, then at the waiter and then back at me. I look down, biting my lip when I feel the warmth crawling over my cheeks. But when I look back up, he’s no longer standing there.

  He doesn’t let that throw him off his game. He enters the room and slowly makes his way over to me. Everything he does draws me to him. The way he walks, his intense gaze, the way the air crackles when he gets closer... Why does it feel like everyone in this room knows what we did last night? Heat gathers between my thighs, lust flowing through my veins. The burning desire from earlier growing in my belly once more.

  “Good morning,” he says casually when he takes a seat next to me.

  I clear my throat. “Good morning,” I answer softly.

  The waiter returns with my coffee.

  “Would you like something, Mr. Wilders?”

  John looks at me with one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen. “No, I had my fair share last night, and then again this morning.”

  I almost spit my coffee all over the tablecloth. The waiter looks from John to me and turns around on his heels as fast as he can. With my napkin, I wipe away the last drop of coffee from my mouth before I turn around and glare at him.

  “Was that really necessary?” I snarl at him. “What must he be thinking of us now?”

  John turns in his seat to look at me.

  “Now he knows that you are off limits.”

  I cross my arms in front of me and look at John with my mouth set in a firm line. I wait until his gaze shoots up from my chest back to my face.

  “And since when are you the one who gets to decide that? I can take care of myself, I don’t need your help for that.”

  John looks at me with this intense fire in him. He leans a little closer until our noses almost touch.

  “How about this? Let’s make a deal. I’ll give you the best summer of your life.” With his fingers, he brushes a stray curl out of my face. “I’ll make sure that every fantasy you have ever had comes to life. Nobody needs to know, only you and me. And at the end of the summer, you’ll be ready to start your new life. Isn’t that what you want?”

  His eyes keep me locked to him. Why does his deal sound so tempting? Every fiber in my body is telling me to say yes. I wasted two years of my life on someone who doesn’t give a damn about me. Maybe it’s time I took matters into my own hands. After all, I’ll be going home at the end of the summer, far away from Full Moon and everyone in it.

  It’s John, right? Is that what I want? Just a bit of carefree fun? And with John being the one offering this to me, why wouldn’t I? After last night and this morning, at least I’m sure he’s capable of keeping his part of the deal. Hell, he gave me more pleasure this morning, than everybody else in my entire life combined.

  John gets up from his seat to go to the buffet, but he leans toward me before leaving. His mouth is close to my ear when he whispers, “Don’t think too much, say yes to my proposition.”

  I open my mouth to answer him when we get interrupted.

  “Good morning, everyone.”

  Tim takes a seat at the table and the moment between me and John is over. Like nothing happened, John walks over to the buffet.

  Holy hell, my heart is pounding like crazy in my chest. That was a close call. Why did Tim have to come over right at this moment? Or maybe he saved me from doing something stupid, from making the biggest mistake of my life. Because whatever it is that’s been playing between me and John, it could never end well.

  AFTER BREAKFAST, I managed to get away without running into John. Today Erica and Mia are coming to visit, and I have to admit I’m looking forward to spending some time with my two best friends. Despite the fact that I’m glad I got away from my old home where everything reminded me of my parents, I do miss them like crazy. Especially after everything that’s been going on in the last few days.

  I can’t even imagine the way they’ll react when I tell them what’s been going on between me and John. They’ll arrive here, expecting to see a broken Jolene, because of my breakup with Lionel. But truth be told, not once did I think of him in these last twenty-four hours. You would think that breaking up after two years would leave me devastated, but I’m not. My encounter with John only made me realize what I’ve been missing out on.

  I run my hands over my dress to smooth out the last few wrinkles. I put on my coat, and head to the elevator. When I look at my watch, I realize I need to hurry if I want to be on time at the train station to pick up my friends.

  While I’m waiting for the elevator to arrive, I hear a door opening down the hall. Shit, that might be John, and I’m not ready to face him just yet. I push the button for the elevator again like that’s magically going to make the elevator arrive faster.

  The footsteps draw closer and closer, so when the door of the elevator swings open, I don’t wait and jump inside. I frantically push the button for the ground floor. Just when John appears, the door closes, and I can hear him tap the button in vain to open the door.

  I place my hand over my racing heart. That was close. I know I will have to face him sometime, but I’m not ready yet. He’ll be asking questions to which I don’t know the answer to. Not yet. So, the longer I can postpone that conversation, the better.

  When the elevator arrives on the ground floor, I hurry outside. Luckily the train station is only a few blocks from here, so instead of taking a taxi, I decide to walk there. Maybe the fresh air will distract me a little from everything that’s been going on in my life.

  When I arrive, Mia and Erica are already waiting for me. Erica is sitting on her suitcase, and Mia is sitting on a nearby bench. As soon as they see me, they run over to me. Erica pulls me into a hug and Mia follows shortly after her.

  “I still can’t believe that asshole dumped you like that,” Mia says.

  “Not to mention the fact that he cheated on her,” Erica growls. “And to think I was always supportive of him. Wait until I see him next time; he won’t know what hit him.”

  This makes me laugh. People don’t know how precious it is to have friends like Mia and Erica. They would go to hell and back for me, and I for them.

  “What are you smiling about?”

  “I just realized how glad I am that you’re here,” I answer joyfully. “Let’s take your luggage to the hotel, then we can go for a drink. Because we have a lot to talk about.”

  Erica and Mia exchange a weird look and then follow me to the hotel.

  “SO, YOU’RE TRYING TO tell us that John, the sexiest guitarist on this planet, tied you to his bed, fucked you six ways from Sunday and that you slipped out of his room the next morning before he even woke up?”

  Erica and Mia look at me in shock. When Erica tells it like that, it does sounds unbelievable. I know they’re shocked because they didn’t expect me to do something like that. I still can’t believe it myself.

  “I have a feeling there’s more she isn’t telling us,” Erica says grinning.

  I can feel my cheeks heat. Erica has always been the one to see right through me. She takes one look at my face and starts clapping her hands.

  “I knew it,” she chants. “Let’s order another round of drinks so you can tell us the rest.”

  She raises her hand and waves at the bartender before I can even stop her. O
ne thing is certain. I’ll need to have another drink, to get some more courage to tell them everything.

  A few drinks later I’ve told them the whole story. Every single detail. Both Mia and Erica have gone quiet on me. I only hope they don’t think less of me after this. This is not like me at all, and I’m not entirely sure how they’ll react to it.

  Mia is the first one to talk. “Are you going to accept his offer?”

  She has always been the concerned friend. I can see it in her eyes that she’s worried about the whole situation. The thing is, I can’t answer her question because I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I knew sharing his bed would get me in trouble, but I still don’t regret it. On the contrary, it’s an experience I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.

  “I don’t know, we agreed it would be for one night, so that’s over now.”

  “It’s not like you have to start dating him, just take what you can get out of this deal,” Erica suggests.

  I laugh. “It was the best sexual experience I’ve ever had.”

  Both my friends go silent and I can see them look over my shoulder. And then I hear a familiar voice behind me.

  “So, I’m the best sex you ever had?”

  His deep voice makes me shudder. I turn around to look at him. The grin on his face goes from ear to ear, and I can feel the effect to the depths of my soul. My body clearly remembers how great his mouth is and the things John can do with those lips.

  “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough to hear that you should take what you can get.”

  He looks over my shoulder to my two friends. He nods at both of them, and when he gives them one of his trademark smiles, dimples included, I’m sure he just won them both over. When I look at my friends, they are both swooning. When they look between us, they look like they are ready to applaud the ending of an action-packed movie.

  “Excuse us, ladies. Can I borrow Jolene for a minute?”

  “Of course,” they both chant in unison.

  I turn toward them and put my empty glass on the bar. “We’ll talk about this later,” I hiss at them.

  John puts his hand on my lower back and directs me outside while the girls giggle and watch. The feeling of his hand on my back does more to me than I want to admit. We are just outside the bar when he stops and turns his head getting close to me. He looks around us to make sure no one can hear us.

  “You’re avoiding me,” he states.

  “No,” I lie. “I’m not avoiding you. I had to be on time to pick up my friends at the train station. They’re staying over tonight and are going home tomorrow.”

  I was never great at lying, and I can see John doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. He takes a step closer to me, and I instinctively take a step back. He keeps getting closer until I am pinned against the wall.

  “You are avoiding me, Jolene. I know you haven’t agreed to my proposition, but tomorrow I’m taking you out. I’ll give you this night with your friends, but tomorrow you’re mine.” He kisses me softly on the lips. “Mine alone,” he adds. And then he’s gone.

  Like a rag doll, I’m slumped against the wall. I take a few seconds to catch my breath. My blood is thundering in my ears. He wants to take me out? Like, on a date?

  Why does he have this much effect on me?

  When my breathing gets even again, I take one last deep breath and pull myself together. I run my hands down my dress, so it doesn’t look so wrinkled, hold my head up high, and walk back to my two friends. Judging by the look in their eyes, they clearly enjoyed the show. I better prepare myself for their interrogation because I know they’ll want to know every detail of what just happened.

  For now, I don’t want to think about tomorrow. My two best friends came here to see me and tonight I want to spend some time with them. I must be going crazy because I consider taking him up on his offer, my entire body screaming at me to go for it.

  For once, I don’t want to think about the consequences. For once, I want to do what my heart tells me to do. For once I want to live my life to the fullest.

  13

  John

  Yesterday was without a doubt the longest day of my life. After I made it clear to Jolene that she better not ignore me today, she found it necessary to come to the concert with both her friends. They were dancing backstage like there was no tomorrow, and this made it utterly impossible for me to concentrate on my music. And that’s something that never happens to me.

  But that’s exactly the reason I’m taking her out today. To a place far away from here. It’s time Jolene learns how to have fun. She has to let go, live a little. And that’s what I’m going to do for her. Maybe if there’s no chance of running into someone we know, she can relax.

  I put on my leather vest, walk down the hall to her room and knock on her door. It only takes a few seconds before she opens it and lets me in. Someone is anxious to see me. When I let my gaze wander over her body, it’s clear why she opened so fast. It’s obvious she was waiting for me. I take my time to take in every inch of her. Everything looks perfect, there’s not a hair out of place.

  She’s wearing a loose summer dress again, a pair of sandals with high heels. Not that I don’t like the outfit, but she cannot wear it for what I have in mind for this evening. I love the idea that she dressed up especially for me, however, we will have to save this outfit for another time.

  I step inside the room and close the door behind me.

  “Where are your clothes?”

  She frowns and looks at her clothes.

  “You don’t like what I’m wearing?” she asks confused.

  I take a step closer to her, put my finger under her chin and lift it up so she has to look at me. I wait until she looks me straight in the eyes; I want her to see that I mean what I say.

  “Jolene, you would look good in a paper bag, but that dress is not something you want to wear to where I’m taking you tonight. Believe me.” I look at her sandals.

  “What do you have in mind?” she asks, barely containing her excitement.

  “That’s a surprise.” I wink at her. “I think it’s better if you wear pants and a jacket for this evening. Do you have that?”

  “Of course! Just give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”

  She disappears into the bathroom. Maybe that’s for the best. If she changed in front of me, we’d never leave this room. And that would be a shame since I have an amazing evening planned. It doesn’t take her long before she reappears. She’s wearing skinny jeans, a black top and a denim vest. The sandals were replaced with the classic Converse All Stars. She looks just as hot as when she was wearing that dress. But at least we can go ahead and do what I planned. Perfect!

  “Ready?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I DON’T THINK I HAVE the guts to do this.”

  Jolene is standing on the sidewalk, nervously tugging at the hem of her jacket. She looks worriedly at me. I’m used to her giving it to me straight, but she looks really cute right now. I take her jacket and pull her toward me.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes,” she says without any hesitation.

  I love the fact that she didn’t even need to think about her answer. That means she trusts me unconditionally, and that makes me feel special. It does something to me, so maybe it’s time I reminded myself that no matter what happens between us, it’s going to be only for this summer. At the end of this vacation, she will go back home, and I will stay with the band. I shake off the weird feeling and focus on this moment.

  “Then just hop on.”

  I let go of her jacket and hand her the helmet. I can still see the insecurity in her eyes, but she takes it from me. She puts the helmet on and I tighten the chin strap. When I’m sure it’s strapped properly, I put on my own helmet and swing my leg over my bike.

  I take her out for a spin, every chance I get. I always get this wonderful feeling whenever I’m driving. It always makes me feel relax
ed and free. When Full Moon landed its first hit, I bought this beauty. The Ducati Panigale 959. My first love. From the moment I saw her standing in the showroom at our local dealer, I was sold. She fits me. The white color and the red rims. I put the keys in the ignition and the motor roars to life. I rev the engine a few times and admire the sound and feel of it. I feel relaxed immediately, and all the stress of the last few days disappears in an instant. I kick the footrests in place for Jolene and hold out my hand for her to take.

  “Ready?”

  This time she doesn’t hesitate. She puts her hand in mine and places her foot on the footrest. I keep a tight hold of the motorcycle and help her mount on to the back. She swings her leg over the bike and secures herself behind me. Once she’s seated, I check if both her feet are on the footrests, take her hands and wrap them around my waist. I rev the engine and instantly feel her grip tightening around me.

  I chuckle. She’s too damn cute.

  With my left arm I reach around behind me, I lay my hand on her ass and push her closer against me. Her body is now fully resting against mine, and I know right away this was a good idea.

  “Here we go,” I shout over the roaring sound of the motor. “Hold on tight.”

  With my foot, I switch the bike into gear and slowly we ride out of the hotel parking lot and join the traffic. I ride very carefully, giving Jolene the time she needs to adjust. Jolene clings to me, but I know she’ll love it in a minute.

  For a while, we just coast the roads. Every now and then I give her leg a little squeeze, to let her know she’s okay. Driving my bike has always been fantastic, but with Jolene on the back, holding me tight, I could ride around for hours.

  When we arrive at our destination, I help Jolene to dismount the bike. As soon as she pulls off her helmet, I can see the sparkle in her eyes. I take off my own helmet and take hers.

  “How do you feel about your first ride?”