Better Than the Best

by Amabel Daniels

  “I don’t need anyone.” He kicked a plastic chair and it cracked against the wall.

  “Yeah. There’s the spirit. Brood. Mope. Be a damn idiot. You don’t need anybody.” She gave him a cheesy sneer and thumbs-up. “I said you don’t need her.”

  He grimaced at her sarcasm and looked around the room wildly. He locked his attention on the bottle of whiskey on the shelf next to her.

  “Oops.” Her elbow tipped it and he punched the door above her head.

  “You little smartass…”

  She looked to the ceiling.

  “You enjoy pissing me off, don’t you? You get a sick kick out of pissing me off.” His face bent closer to hers, anger spewing like heat. “You’ve got nothing better to do than to—”

  “Cut the crap. We both know you’d rather take a run to vent than drink.”

  His lips twisted like he wanted to scream. She almost wished he would—his face, his body, all of him, shook with such tension she thought he would burst.

  “You are the most wicked, manipulative person I’ve ever met.”

  “At least I’m good at it.”

  He clutched her shoulder.

  “Isn’t it easier when you’re mad at me instead of missing Matt?” She had an urge again to reach to him, hug him, touch him. A heavy cracking in her heart made her care more than she could afford to.

  Anger sparkled in his eyes as though he wanted to rip something into a million pieces. He searched her face and seemed to defuse.

  At his silence, she raised her brows. “What the heck, Will. Arguing with you can take my mind off how miserable my life can be.”

  He wrinkled his forehead in disbelief. “You think your life is miserable? What, because your husband found a better piece of ass? Cry me a goddamn river.”

  She failed to move him as she shoved, her sympathy and honest concern for his suffering switching to blistering defense. “That’s not—that’s none of your business!”

  “What’s the matter, don’t like the taste of your own medicine? You had no right to get involved with my mother. She wants me to rot in hell!”

  Miserable? She took a deep breath and bit her lip. Am I really miserable? Will clenched his fists and she traced the taut lines of his muscles flexing. Maybe he was calling her on it. Miserable? No, she wasn’t fooling him, and she realized she should stop trying to fool herself. She might be confused and lost, but she wasn’t miserable.

  Not around him, at least.

  Guilt lingered around the memories of Norbert’s death, his daughter’s rage, and Betsy’s suicide. Anger flitted at the image of John cheating on her. She was too strong to linger in the past. Shoulda woulda coulda, she’d told Delores. She couldn’t change anything that happened in Atlanta, and reflecting on her own advice, she resolved to move on.

  Kelly took the roll of paper towels off his desk and grabbed his hand. As she wiped the blood off his knuckles from punching the wall, he tried to escape her grip. She tugged his hand back. Did he know how it easy it was to get an infection? Silly man.

  She cleared her throat. “You know, scientifically, I don’t think that’s possible. Hell’s supposed to be these hot flaming pits of fire, right? If something’s going to rot in hell, it couldn’t be too hot, only warm. And you need moisture for the decomposers to actually rot anything which was once alive. All the moisture would have evaporated.”

  She glanced up to see his attention was fixated on her hands cleaning his.

  “If anything, you could incinerate in hell, if there is such a place. But it doesn’t sound as demeaning as rot in hell.”

  He gave her a blank look as she finished cleaning his knuckles.

  “My bad. You were saying?” She waved her hand permissively as if he had forgotten his cue. “She wants you to rot in hell.”

  “You just said I couldn’t say that.” He studied the cuts she had tended to.

  “It’s still America, isn’t it? You can say anything you want. It sounds stupid. How about burn in hell? Has a nice ring to it.”

  “She can go to hell. Better?”

  Kelly gave him an iffy look. “If you think you aren’t going to hell, then yeah. But if you’re not convinced you could go to some kind of heaven, then you’ll be in some kind of hell. So then you’re wishing her to be near you again. I thought you wanted to avoid her.”

  She bit her lip. What the hell did I just say? She was reaching for a distraction. True, she had a habit of rambling, especially when aggravated. But she usually made some sense. Maybe a kiss would help. He seemed to like it before. The heat they had generated would definitely be a distraction. Or maybe she’d kiss him for herself. She licked her lower lip in hesitation. Why she was so intent on distracting him out of his sadness madness, she didn’t want to know. But she couldn’t stand to see him hurting.

  His gaze drifted to a picture on the desk of him and Matt fishing from Randy’s boat, and with the flash of an eye he left the anger and fell into a pit of sadness again. “Why are you even here?”

  “Brought the sub you ordered. You owe me seven fifty,” she said. Hot and cold, hot and cold. It went back and forth, her feisty and yelling back and then calming and smartass. All of it raw and angry, giving her a strange thrill to be with him.

  He reached in his pocket and gave her eight ones without looking at her.

  Kelly took the bills and watched him gaze at the picture. It was quite the contrast. He stood there, angry and upset. His every muscle was taut, the tanned skin stretched in bulges of his strength. But she could only see and feel the pain and loneliness in his expression, those damnable feelings he fought to bottle and lock.

  “What, no tip?” She stood with her back leaning against the wall next to the door and waited for his smoky eyes to burn at her.

  “You think you deserve a tip?”

  “Why not? I delivered on time and fixed a flat for you. I didn’t think you were this cheap.” She had to glance away, his steeled eyes searing her.

  “You’ve got some nerve. You barge in here, get in the middle of my business and have the nerve to want a tip from me like you’re something special.”

  “Common courtesy.” Kelly chanced a brief look at him as he approached her. Playing with fire, she tried not to bite her lip.

  “No wonder he left you. You think you’re something special but you’re nothing but a loud-mouthed, smartass, annoying pain in the dick.”

  “Yeah, well, no wonder your mom didn’t want you either.” Her heart hammered against her ribs as she glared back at him, his words stinging too much to censor her thoughts. “You’re nothing but a despicable heartless bastard!”

  Will closed the space between them and shoved her against the wall again, squeezing his hand on her shoulder, the other in a fist above her head. “What did you say?”

  “Will! Open up!” Clay rattled the doorknob to open the door a crack as Will leaned over Kelly as though he’d like to choke her. “Will!”

  He slammed the door shut in Clay’s face. “What did you say?” It was a fueled whisper.

  “You’re a despicable heartless bastard.” Kelly spoke the words slowly with a matching expression of hatred at his face inches from hers. His fingers tightened on her skin and she felt her heart race. Tingles shot her flesh where his calloused hands lingered. Looking down, she noticed the exotic difference between her smooth, clean skin to his tanner rougher hide. She felt small next to him.

  So close to him, she was frozen in his power. The anger, the hurt, the testosterone calling at her body, the masculinity overwhelming in his grease- and dirt-grimed shirt, stretched at his muscular frame. It was then, with him trapping her to the wall, that Kelly wanted to whimper. Desire and sympathy collided in her mind and she fought the heat and need to touch him.

  “You never know when to shut up, do you?”

  Her mouth opened then shut quickly, regretting her harsh words. Bastard? Did I really call him a bastard? Guilt tickled at her mind, but he had berated her unjustly as well. S
he concentrated on maintaining a solemn mask of annoyance, hoping her treasonous need for him to be closer wouldn’t show. Of all times, of all men for her to desire, Kelly didn’t want it to be then, when she was most vulnerable. She didn’t want it to be Will.

  She refused to raise her eyes to his and winced when he sighed heavily.

  “Well don’t start now,” he said and covered her lips with his. Her mouth parted in surprise as he demanded her response, holding her shoulder and leaning her back to the wall.

  She kissed him back, his lips too insistent for her to resist. He slanted his mouth closer to hers, sliding his tongue next to hers and pressing the length of his body against hers to the wall.

  Shocked and lost in thought at the feel of him on her, Kelly matched his forceful want. She pressed her palms to his chest, felt his heart racing in tempo with her own. When his hand left her shoulder to snake around her waist and pull her closer, his elbow knocked the empty whiskey bottle on the shelf to crash on the floor.

  “Will!” Clay yelled after the tinkles of the breaking glass. He opened the door an inch and Will slapped it shut without pausing the kiss. He reached to grab the hair at the back of her head and held her closer.

  His leg slid between hers and she sucked on his lower lip, reveling in the feel of his body intimately strong against the center of her heat. Wrapping her leg around his, her knee sent the pile of wrenches on the chair clanging to the floor.

  “Will!” Clay pounded on the door and the doorknob rattled, but Will’s hand shot from her head to brace the door shut, and he deepened the kiss.

  “Open the door!” It was Randy, now, outside the office, alarm in his tone.

  “Kelly’s in there. He’s pissed,” Clay explained. “I think he’s being rough on her—”

  “Will!” Randy pounded on the door and Kelly gasped for air as Will held her closer, almost crushing her chest. She didn’t want to be anywhere else but in his hold.

  “Open the door, Will!”

  Kelly groped one hand backwards to feel for the doorknob and twisted the lock shut. Free now, she slipped her arms around his neck and clung to him as he picked her up, holding her against his erection.

  He struggled to stand steady and stumbled to the closest filing cabinet to set her on the edge. A box of wheel bearings knocked over and emptied. The pieces fell one by one, the heavy metal thumping to the floor as he pillaged her lips and slipped his palm under her shirt.

  “Will!” Clay pounded on the door. “He’s going to hurt her.”

  Kelly murmured as Will toyed with her lips. Hurt me? He’d never hurt me. He was strong and tough but his hands were only gentle and reverent on her. Gentle and hungry. She kissed him harder.

  “No. He won’t.” Randy that time. “What happened?”

  “The bitch came in.”

  “Kelly?”

  “No. His mom.”

  Will’s throat rumbled in pleasure as Kelly thread her fingers through his hair.

  “His mom came in and he went nuts and he’s taking it out on her.” Clay pounded again. “Will!”

  “He wouldn’t hurt her,” Randy said, though and he seemed unconvinced and rattled the door knob.

  “The way they’re always arguing? He’s an asshole. He’s going to hurt her,” Clay said.

  Kelly smiled in the kiss as she felt Will’s hand inch up the bare skin of her back. She felt safe and wanted. Right where she belonged. He wouldn’t hurt me.

  Hurt. She let the word bounce in her mind, trying to remember why it mattered so much. How could he hurt me? she worried, nervous she was going too fast.

  He framed her face and she lost the nagging doubt. So gentle and loving.

  Loving. Love?

  Will had said love was a myth. He didn’t think women were anything but bedmates. His words came rushing back to her and her heart cracked even as he stoked the fire in it.

  He would only hurt me. Kelly put her hands to his chest, almost in disbelief she was going to stop him. He could only hurt me if he breaks my heart. And he wouldn’t break it if he never had it. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she pulled back from him.

  Will frowned.

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. In doubt more than in protest.

  “I’m, I’m…” She lost momentum as he kissed her softly, sending the blanket of desire over her mind.

  She pushed him back. “I can’t do this. It’s not fair.”

  “What?” Will’s eyes were intense on hers.

  “It’s physical. Hormones.” Kelly stood up, torn between wanting him and knowing it would be doomed. Doom on her end because she would care. It’d be another bout of sex for him. A pastime. “I’m not thinking.”

  “I am!” Will whispered harshly as she backed away in the tiny office.

  She shook her head. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand. I’m not an easy piece of ass.”

  “You want me to propose or something?” he mocked.

  She glared at him. “No. I want to matter. I’m…I’m looking for love.”

  He threw his arms in the air.

  “I’m sorry. Obviously I’m attracted to you.” She doubted he’d ever heard a woman apologize for such a phenomenon before.

  “You lead me on and tease me…. And—”

  “I said I was sorry. That should ease your ego! I didn’t mean to want you. Or like you. You’re so freaking infuriating!”

  “You are the most confusing and irritating woman I’ve ever met.”

  “I didn’t plan this!” Kelly never felt like such a fool. “I got carried away. It was physical. And I want more. This would be a rebound. I can’t.”

  “Yeah?” Will turned to glower at her. “What do you want?”

  “Someone to love me.” It was a quiet, sheepish, timid declaration. “And you’ve made it perfectly clear you think it’s bullshit.”

  “Because it is.”

  “Well.” Kelly crossed her arms to guard off her vulnerability, missing his kisses and feeling like a coward. “That settles that. You only want a casual piece of ass and I’m not one. See you around.”

  Will stepped forward as if to reach out to her but shook his head. He ripped the office door open and stormed into the garage. Clay and Randy followed him, then turned to Kelly in the office. Speechless, they fumbled in silence for a second, then went off looking for something to busy themselves with.

  Good riddance? Kelly held her chin up despite feeling like a fool. She was the idiot. She had to be at fault because it had been her own delusion Will was thinking with something other than his dick. Without another word, she walked out of the garage.

  Chapter 20

  A couple weeks later, not far from the townhouse, Will dismissed Randy from the stone house.

  “See you tomorrow?” Randy called from the front door.

  Will sighed. “Sure.”

  Boat ride on the lake. Why not? He had nothing better to do. It wasn’t too late to go for a run but he sat on the couch instead.

  Cause and effect. It was all her fault.

  Will sat in front of the infomercial on TV and let his mind wander. Kelly had snapped him out of his zombie status. She had ignited him. She had annoyed him while she had warmed him. And she wanted to be loved.

  He rolled his eyes, irritated she wanted nothing to do with him because he wasn’t sappy and stupid and he didn’t believe in such an idiotic thing as love. As soon as someone said those words, it was ammunition to leave. No one had ever loved him before. Except Matt, in a brotherly-friend way. And he was gone. To give a part of himself to someone, only meant that part would die when the other was gone. The pain wasn’t worth it.

  He had never felt so alive than when he had been with her. Even to argue with her. It was for sex. What’d she say? Hormones? Physical? Yeah, it was. And it was great. No reason to get stupid and pretend about love. So he had tried to find it again. Kelly was another ordinary average woman. He didn’t see why she had
to be so special.

  He had tried. He started talking to women again, engaging in conversations, flirting. And it had been so tiring. They laughed too giddily. Some of them were so uneducated it was scary. Yeah, they were hot and promiscuous, every bachelor’s dream. But it wasn’t working for him.

  He hadn’t even been interested. Or turned on. And he hadn’t felt alive and free like he did with Kelly. He’d been bored or annoyed. Too exposed. Like a chore to prove a point to himself. The couple women who tried to kiss him, he had fought to not run away, and had made lame excuses to escape.

  But he’d been repairing the friendships he had let fester. Clay and Randy, they were bonding. He had Kelly to thank for them. It was slow and still hard, but he was easing a little, trying to care about the world again. Baby steps.

  ***

  The following day, Kelly smiled at Randy and Clay as they came by the kayak hut at lunchtime. “Hey.” She waved them into the hut to hide from the sun.

  “We already talked to Alan. You can come,” Clay said, scanning the beach for babes.

  She looked to Randy for clarification.

  “Boat ride. Skiing. Tonight on the lake.”

  “Oh.” Would Will be there? She forced herself to smile despite such a depressing thought. Why the hell should I think about him? “Okay, I guess.”

  It was a decision she regretted until the last kayak was on the rack at the end of her shift. It would be torture to see him with another woman on a boat. Rubbing it in when he had no idea what he did to her. Oh, it was stupid.

  “Why do I have to care?” Kelly said to Heather on the way home to change before Clay took her to the marina. With frequent calls and texts, she had kept her friend apprised of her woes. “Two kisses. Groping. And I’m an idiot about him.”

  “Casual sex, Kel. Not the end of the world.”

  Kelly shook her head. “It would be a rebound.”

  “It sounds like you are already.”