When the Side Nigga Catch Feelings 1

by Jessica N Watkins

  However, just as I stood from the stool and grabbed my Louboutins from the floor, I felt his tall, dark shadow over me. I slowly stood up, looking him in the eyes and setting the bag of vegetables on the counter.

  "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered in a tone laced with a small crack as he handed me a glass. And no matter how much of a devil he looked like in that car, I had never heard those words spoken so genuinely.

  The last thing I wanted was another drink that night, but for the sake of keeping the peace, I took it. I always did what I had to do to keep the peace.

  When I looked at him, that crazy, insecure little boy was gone, and my loving man had reappeared. So, when he moved towards me, I didn't flinch. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head in the loving way he always did.

  "I love you." And I had never heard those words spoken so genuinely either.

  Still holding him around his waist, I looked up into his light brown, slanted girlish eyes with the same genuine love for him in my eyes. "I know, but you don't know that I love you."

  I could see his soul cringe as he took my hand and walked me back toward the island. "That's not true. I do know how much you love me. You show me every day, every hour, and every second. I'm just a stupid old man-"

  My giggles interrupted him as he helped me back up on the stool. "You're not stupid," I joked.

  "Oh, but I'm old?" I just laughed, so he kept pressing with wide eyes, "I'm old, babe?"

  I smiled, relaxing in this atmosphere. This was us. All that physical abuse and arguing was not us. It wasn't what made me fall in love with him. It wasn't what I had to deal with the majority of the time.

  "No, baby, you're not old."

  That was not a lie. I was not just saying that to gas him up.

  The moment Ross and I connected, we became exactly the same age; the years between us disappeared. I never saw age when I looked at Ross. I saw a man who loved me. I saw a man who saw enough in me to not only take in me, but to take in my baby and my sister and love on them as if they were his own.

  Looking up at him with a faint smile on my face, I also never saw the horrible choice I'd made when I married Ross. But the day would come when I would see it. The day would come where it would be clear the terrible mistake I'd made when I said, "I do," to Ross.

  3

  Treasure

  “Move, Vegas.” I frowned and swatted his hand off of my thigh. I was staring out of the passenger’s side window of his Porsche truck. All kinds of attitude was all over my face. I could feel Vegas’ baby blue eyes digging a hole in the side of my blonde, curly, pixie cut.

  He quickly glanced at me and then looked back at the road. This sexy-ass smirk was on his face as he squeezed my thigh. “Stop it. You ain’t mad at me. Gimme a kiss.”

  The only good thing about Ross was that he had introduced me to bae’s ass. Never would I have thought that after being raised in Englewood that I would fall for a white boy. But since he was raised in Terror Town, he was tougher and had more swag than any of the guys that I had fucked with in the past. The only thing white about him was his skin. But that could hardly be seen because his skin was covered in colorful drawings that symbolized the GD’s he ran with as a teenager, his Italian heritage, and his dead homeboys. But besides his lightly-tanned skin, everything about him said “Chitown” and “hood nigga”.

  He and Ross had worked side by side for eight years, since Vegas was seventeen. Vegas wasn’t nearly as old as Ross’ ancient ass, though. Vegas was now only twenty-five. He had started working with Ross when he bought a car from Ross’ chop shop. Back then, Ross was only flipping cars. Vegas was selling drugs, so he was one of Ross' repeat customers. Then Ross expressed interest in expanding his business. That’s when Vegas introduced Ross to his uncle, Vinny, who was the connect. He wasn’t the drug connect, however. He was a gun connect. Ross and Vegas distributed weapons, not drugs. They went in half on that first shipment of firearms, and it was a wrap from there.

  I met Vegas soon after Ross and Heaven started fucking around. It turned me on how his white ass was the coolest motherfucka that I had ever met. I had never had a problem getting guys because I was a Leo. We are known as hoes, but in all actuality, we are just free spirits when it comes to sex. We like a variety. And Vegas was definitely a taste that I had never acquired before. But he didn’t like my mouthy ass. For once, a dude didn't want me, so I chased him for a year. The moment he finally succumbed to this pussy, he owned it. We had been together ever since. That was two years ago. He had actually made me put down my player ways…for the most part. I had gone from juggling two or three dudes to being committed to just him. And it was well worth it. Vegas was the first man who had shown me what unconditional love was. When most street dudes were trying to have me in the streets right next to them, Vegas had me on this pedestal that made me feel like a prized possession.

  I ain't gonna lie. That promiscuous girl from the streets was still in me. I knew Vegas loved me, but there had been a few moments when I had to do me.

  Vegas squeezed my thigh again. “I said gimme a kiss.”

  I pushed his hand away and smacked my lips. “I ain’t.”

  He faked looking legit hurt. “What you mad at me for?”

  Snarling, I told him, “Because you’re actually best friends and working with that motherfucker.”

  “I might not be for long.”

  My head whipped towards Vegas. He had the nerve to keep his eyes on the road and away from me. He knew I was looking at him like he had lost his fucking mind.

  I had to hear him wrong…

  “What did you say?” I asked.

  “I might not be working with him for long.”

  “W-why not?” I had just seen a grown-ass man backhand the shit out of my best friend, but this was the first time that night that I had been blown away. That was because seeing Ross act out like a bitch was the usual, but hearing Vegas talk like this made me feel like I was in the twilight zone. This just didn’t sound real.

  “What you mean you might not be working with him for long?” I asked.

  For the first time in a long time, I saw Vegas look hurt and worried. “I think he’s stealing from me.”

  My face balled up in confusion. “Why you think that?”

  Vegas shrugged like this was everyday shit. “I heard he out here spending mad cash, and money ain’t adding up.”

  I shook my head, still in complete disbelief, even though I had heard him loud and clear.

  “Y’all been partners for years. He’s like a big brother to you. I don’t think Ross would steal from you.”

  “That ain’t what other motherfuckers sayin’.”

  My eyes narrowed at him. “Other motherfuckers like who? Princess?”

  He sucked his teeth. “C’mon, bae, don’t start. What she got to do with this?”

  “I saw that bitch in your face!” I spat.

  He had the nerve to chuckle and stroke his beard. “Now, you sound like Ross.”

  I hit his shoulder, and he leaned over towards his window to dodge me.

  I closed my mouth and then spat, “Fuck you! Ross a fucking psycho, but I know what I saw. That bitch is always on you.”

  Princess was a THOT bitch in our circle that always found a reason to be around my dick, giggling and shit. I had no worries that Vegas had fucked around on me with her. He had not given me a reason to think that. But Princess had been throwing that pussy at him like a baseball for the last year, after she broke up with her man for having a baby on her.

  “Because I work closely with her brother and his friends,” Vegas explained.

  I rolled my eyes towards the roof of the car. “Whatever—”

  “Any fucking way, nah, Princess didn’t tell me no shit like that. Don’t you think it would have been a reliable source that I heard it from if I actually believe it?”

  Fine. If bae’s ass wanted to change the subject, I would for now because this was way more important than Princess’
THOT ass.

  “But Ross is your family, babe.”

  Again, he shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. “Family shit on each other all the time.”

  I sat up a bit like that would make him believe me. “Vegas, you’re wrong. Who got you talking like this?”

  “Just trust me, babe.”

  I groaned inwardly. That was always his answer. He never really told me the ins and outs of his and Ross’ business. I knew what they did, but when it came to details, he treated me like a little kid that he was protecting. Vegas didn’t want a ride-or-die bitch out there committing crimes with him and taking cases for him. He wanted his beautiful woman at home, safe and out of the way of all the bullshit that he and Ross got into.

  “Mmm humph,” was my reply.

  “Don’t worry,” he said, putting a hand on my thigh again. “I got an accountant looking into it to make sure before I make any moves. So, we’ll see.”

  “And if he is?”

  His blue eyes darkened with uncertainty. “Then I guess we’ll have to see about that too.”

  Heaven

  The next morning, the feel of Ross' beard tickling my ass pulled me out of my sleep.

  “Mmmmm,” I moaned as I began to stir in my sleep and feel his tongue licking my sweet crevice.

  As I began to move, I felt his grip on my thighs getting tight. He locked me in place and started to suck on my clit, jolting me completely out of my sleep.

  "Mmmm! Shit…"

  He began to moan into my pussy as he sucked my clit into an orgasm. I had an amused smile on my face as I stared at the ceiling, biting my lip. Ross thought he was slick. He had tried to eat his way out of the dog house last night, but I was too drunk and tired to let him get some. Now, I guess he was just going to take it.

  My back arched and my nude, matte, coffin-shaped nails gripped the sheet as I felt the intense pressure of an orgasm barreling through my body.

  “Fuuuuuuck!”

  “Mmmm humph,” Ross moaned into my pussy as he sucked and licked my clit simultaneously. I could feel his intense suction as his tongue played with the hood of it at the same time. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to cum so fast.

  I enjoyed head from Ross the most. His dick was good, but that mouth of his is what got me to fall for him initially. At eighteen years old, I hadn't had many men eat my pussy, or eat it well at that. Dudes my age still thought eating pussy was nasty. But the first time Ross and I had sex, he showed me that a grown-ass man wanted to taste the cat as much as he wanted to be inside of it. His soft big lips felt like a massage. He sucked my soul right out of me. And when he put his fingers in my pussy and ass at the same time, I swear, it was better than sex. That's why I married him a year later. Luckily, I didn't have many family members to argue with me about marrying a man that was over ten years older than me. Of course, Treasure thought the idea was genius because not only did Ross love me, my sister, and my daughter, but he was also filthy fucking rich, to us. She thought I would be stupid if I didn't jump at the chance of securing my future, securing the fact that I would never have to return to selling food stamps just to be able to have clothes on my back.

  Our wedding day was the best day of my life. He had taken me, Divine, and Sunshine, along with his family and friends, to the most beautiful resort in Cancun, Mexico. Not only was I marrying the man of my dreams, but for the first time in my life, I had flown on a plane and saw white beaches and blue water. Nothing was more beautiful that day than when the sun went down and Ross and I made love on the white sand.

  "Baby! I'm cummiiiing!” I was actually disappointed. Like I said, I loved Ross' head. So, the last thing I wanted to do was end it. Sometimes, he would eat me into another paralyzing orgasm. As I came, I hoped this would be one of those times, but unfortunately, he sat up on the edge of the bed, giggling and wiping my juices from his beard as I shook uncontrollably

  "Shit, "I sighed. That's when I rolled over onto my side and felt the pain on the side of my face as I lay on the pillow. That's when I remembered what had happened between Ross and me the night before.

  I guess that is when Ross remembered too, because he stood up and walked towards the dresser. I saw him pick up his wallet and dig inside. He pulled out a large knot of money and laid it on the nightstand beside me.

  "Why don't you go shopping today?"

  That's how he always fixed it whenever he flipped out and hit me. He made up with me by using sex and money. He still had so much to learn about love because he didn't even understand that I didn't need either of those two things to forgive him or to continue to love him. I had forgiven him last night. Ross hitting me was like a kid throwing a tantrum. Was it right? No. Absolutely not. But just like a kid throwing a tantrum didn't mean he didn't love his parents, Ross hitting me didn't mean that he didn't love me. I knew that.

  "You're about to leave?"

  When I should have felt anger when he put his hands on me, I was now pissed the fuck off because as usual, Ross was getting ready to leave for the day. He would be gone for most of the day, and I just knew he would be with another woman.

  "Yeah, I’m about to ride. I have some business to take care of."

  That was what he always said; that he had business to take care of. But that was some bullshit, and I knew it. Yeah, he probably had a few things to do concerning his money during the day, but Ross had escalated to a level in his business that he barely had to do any real work. At this point, Ross had created a hustle where he had employees doing most of his work. Now, I had never gone to college, and because of how my life was set up, I didn't pay attention much when I was in high school. But I was no dummy. I knew that Ross was not so busy every day all day. That was what hurt. The emotional pain of knowing he was cheating on me was way worse than the physical pain. I had whooped a few bitches in my day and gotten clocked in the process. Therefore, I could take a hit. But the emotional pain of Ross being with another woman hurt like a motherfucker. This thing between us was more than love. He knew how much our marriage meant to me because he knew where he had rescued me from. So, the fact that he would lie to me hurt like a motherfucker. I didn't have evidence that he was cheating. But I didn't need to walk in on him with his dick in another bitch for me to know what was going on. That was what hurt; that he was the one cheating on me, but he would put his hands on me at the mere thought of another man looking at me.

  As he started to get his toiletries together for his shower, I didn't say anything, though. After all the bullshit last night, the last thing I wanted to do was start this day with another fucking argument and fight.

  "Oh, and Mello is coming home in a few days,” he added.

  I rolled my eyes behind his back and bit my tongue. He was just bringing up Mello to avoid the conversation about where he was really about to go. He knew that shit was on the tip of my tongue.

  “I know,” I forced myself to say instead. “He told me.”

  “I want to throw him a welcome home party. Can you make that happen?” He picked up his wallet again, grabbed some more money, and placed it next to the knot he had already given me. "Make it real nice. I know you can do that. I trust your judgment."

  "Okay."

  Ross always said that he had three kids: Mello, Sunshine, and Divine. But Mello was Ross’ only biological child. Embarrassingly, his son and I were the same age. Ross and his baby's mama had conceived a child at the very young age of fourteen. Twenty years ago, it wasn't as common for kids so young to have babies, so when they found out she was pregnant, Mello’s mother’s very Baptist parents moved down to Florida to get her away from Ross. Being a kid himself, Ross was not able to fly down to Florida to be a part of Mello’s life. Ross’ parents were too poor to travel anyway. By the time Mello’s mother’s parents divorced thirteen years later and the mother moved back to Chicago with Mello and his mother, the damage had already been done to Ross and Mello’s relationship. Mello felt like once Ross was old enough that Ross should have tried h
arder to be in his life. Ross was too busy making a name in the streets to do that, though. He had become accustomed to giving his all to the streets. That’s who got his unconditional love. He knew nothing about the fatherly bond he should have had with Mello. Over the years, Mello tried to establish that bond, but it was always a fail. Ross was just never the emotional person Mello needed as a father figure. For years, Ross only made sure to show up on the holidays, birthdays, and graduations. Then, at sixteen, Mello started getting into some trouble. The one thing Ross did attempt to teach him was the streets, which started to lead Mello down the wrong path. Luckily, Mello was smart enough to get the fuck out of Chicago. I had never even gotten the chance to meet him because he had gone back to Florida to college soon after Ross and I got serious. But he and I had had many conversations and video chats over the phone and on Facebook. Ross always felt like money fixed everything, including love, so he would throw Mello some cash before he would give him the conversation he wanted whenever he called home. But I was the one who kept him abreast of everything going on in his father's life over conversations that went on for hours sometimes. Eventually, he stopped calling for Ross and just asked for me.

  I never called Mello my stepson because that was just weird. But he was definitely a friend and he was family, so, I was happy to throw this party for him and welcome him home.

  A few hours later, I was headed to Sadie’s Soul Food Palace to place the catering order for Mello’s party. Holding Sunshine’s hand, I headed towards the garage with Esperanza and Divine following behind me.

  Esperanza had been quiet all morning while she cooked breakfast. I could see in her face that she was still upset about what had happened the night before. She had spoken only a few words to me and even fewer words to Ross. I appreciated her being quiet about it and sparing me the embarrassment. But as soon as I got in the car, she started in on my ass.