Good Girl

by Tricia O'Malley

  “That would be for dessert,” Lucas said.

  “Oh,” Samantha breathed, and then was relieved to be distracted by a beaming Javier.

  “Something to drink for the pretty lady?”

  “Just a red wine, please. A Malbec if you have it,” Samantha said, not wanting a repeat of last night.

  “Same for me, Javier,” Lucas nodded and then looked at her. “The special is usually the best on the menu – do you have anything you prefer not to eat?”

  “No,” Samantha said, sliding a glance over the menu. “I travel too much to be picky about food.”

  “Perfect. I’ll just order us two specials then.” Javier nodded as he poured them two glasses of wine, then pointed to a man and a woman who had just walked in.

  “From the new eco-resort. They wanted to speak with you about perhaps doing some catering and the like,” Javier said.

  “That’s for you to decide.” Lucas nodded at the couple, who were already making their way over.

  “They also wanted to talk to you regarding some of your consulting services. Plus, they’re new on the island. I think they’re just trying to make friends. Make nice,” Javier ordered, and winked at Samantha.

  “When am I not nice?” Lucas wondered.

  Samantha laughed. “I’m sure you have your moments. Weren’t you the one telling me you were happy to move further away from town because it meant fewer people for you to deal with?”

  “Fine, fine. I have my moments,” Lucas grumbled. “But I’m on a date here.”

  “I don’t mind. Really. Have a quick chat with them and we’ll have plenty of time to continue our date after.”

  Lisa and Ben turned out to be a married couple who had invested heavily in their dream of building up an ecologically friendly tourist footprint on the island. Soon, Ben had drawn Lucas deep into a conversation about potential portfolio investments and Lisa turned to Samantha.

  “I’m so sorry, I can see we’re interrupting your date. I’ll let Ben chatter on for a few more minutes and then drag him away. I don’t want to be rude,” Lisa said. A tall woman, with intelligent blue eyes in a kind face, she kept her hair short and her attire simple. Samantha liked her immediately.

  “It’s no bother, really. How long have you been living here?” Samantha asked.

  “We moved here three years ago from California. We own the Eco-Villas along the water. Naturally, the build-out has taken longer than expected, as does everything on an island, but I’m happy to be close to finishing the last section of our properties.”

  “Are you booking any out at the moment?”

  “Yes, we’ve been booking our finished ones for almost a year now. Unfortunately, we ran into a huge problem with our finance guy.” Lisa sighed and shook her head, lifting one hand to wave it away. “We still need to figure out what we’re going to do, as he cost us quite a bit of money. But once again, that seems to be the way of things on the island. One stumbling block after another. I am learning to practice patience and roll with it all.”

  “Let me guess – someone was skimming the books?” Samantha asked. She’d seen it time and again in her work, especially in foreign countries where money flowed easily and reports to the IRS were often fudged.

  “Among other things.” Lisa’s lips tightened and Samantha could read the distress in her eyes. “It’s caused a lot of sleepless nights. We’ll get through it, but we haven’t found anyone else we trust with our books yet. And neither of us are fully qualified in that department. So, yeah, my stress level is higher than I’d like it to be, living in paradise.”

  “How are your bookings?” Samantha asked, wondering if there was any demand.

  “We’re swamped. There’s a huge demand. I feel like there’s so much to manage between finishing the build-out, getting reliable staff in, making sure guests have an excellent experience… So it’s just been a huge blow.” Lisa laughed a bit and shrugged, saying, “Enough about us. You don’t need to hear our tales of woe while on a date. Do you live here?”

  “No, I’m just here on holiday,” Samantha said.

  “That’s lovely. Have you been able to explore the island?”

  “Yes, Lucas is an excellent guide. He showed me your places the other day. You’ve really got a beautiful spot for your rentals. I suspect customer acquisition costs will be low and retention rate high.” Samantha said.

  Lisa’s gaze sharpened. “What do you do for work back in the States?” she asked.

  “Actually, I’m an accountant for the Paradiso Hotels Luxury Portfolio,” Samantha said. “So when I say I’m sorry to hear about your finance guy – I really am. It’s people like him who give us a bad name.”

  “Lisa, let’s go. These two are on a date,” Ben said, coming over to smile sheepishly at Samantha. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were just here visiting. Enjoy your time together. We can catch up with Lucas when she’s gone.”

  Samantha felt a weird little twinge in her stomach when Ben spoke of her departure. She wasn’t ready to leave this place just yet.

  “At the risk of being too forward,” Lisa said, pulling a card from her purse and handing it to Samantha, “if you ever think about moving here, we could use someone like you.”

  “I…” Samantha said, completely taken aback.

  “Just think about it. Perhaps you could take a moment to meet with me before you go – see the property and take a look at the books.” Lisa shot a smile at Ben, who was now dragging her away. “Enjoy your date. This place has the best food.”

  “They were nice,” Lucas said, while Samantha’s mind whirled with possibilities.

  “They were,” Samantha agreed. She started to say more, wanted to ask what it would be like if she didn’t go home, but then stopped herself. That was too much to put on this man. She’d only known him for a few days. It would be impossible to expect him to change his entire life for her.

  But could she change hers for him? Or maybe not even for him – she could come here and rent out long term at the Laughing Mermaid until she found her own little place. Even if things didn’t work out with Lucas, maybe she’d still find her spot here.

  Then the thoughts were pushed to the back of her head as Javier arrived with a steaming platter of food. Samantha almost spilled her wine on herself as she bounced in her swing in delight.

  For right now, she was going to savor the moment.

  Chapter 39

  Her time on Siren Island flew by in a blur of laughter, intense pleasure, and new discoveries. Samantha’s senses felt heightened, as if she laughed a little louder, colors were brighter, and even food tasted better.

  Or maybe that was what love did to you.

  Samantha wrapped her arms around herself in a little hug of delight. She and Lucas hadn’t said the words yet; frankly, when had there been the time? They’d been so engrossed in each other and exploring the island together that she’d barely thought about even checking her phone.

  She had to now, though. Her flight left tomorrow night; at the very least, Samantha had to check and see if it was still scheduled for the same time. She’d even been ignoring Lola’s increasingly frantic text messages, though Sam knew she’d need to respond soon.

  It just felt like she was in a bubble of happiness, and if she exposed it to anyone on the outside world, they’d pop it.

  Unfortunately, Lucas had client meetings today that he couldn’t reschedule, which left Samantha to her own devices. After scheduling a short meeting of her own, Samantha decided to end her time on the island where she’d started it – with the romance novel on the beach. She’d never gotten around to finishing the book, as she’d spent too much time living her very own romance novel to bother. Now, picking it up, she was proud of herself for not even being embarrassed by the couple writhing on the cover. Stretching out in the red bikini she’d come to love, Samantha lost herself in the book, pushing reality away for just a bit longer.

  Until her phone pinged. And pinged several more times. She
shouldn’t have brought it down here, Samantha thought, putting the book aside, but she’d wanted to snap a few pictures for Lola. The last time she’d had the phone down here, there had been no reception. But it must have been a fluke, for now a flood of messages demanded her attention. Sighing, Samantha picked up her phone and scanned them.

  Your father and I would like to know what is going on with you. You don’t answer our messages, you don’t email. Have you lost your mind? When are you getting back to work?

  Samantha pressed her lips together as the same bitterness she always felt at their overbearing attitude washed through her. Why couldn’t they ask how she was doing or whether she was having fun? Instead, they presumed something had to be wrong with her because she hadn’t jumped on a plane and flown home like they’d demanded.

  If you recall, the last time you spoke with me was to tell me to have a nice life. Samantha typed back.

  That’s just your father spouting off. You know how he is. What we want to know is what’s wrong with you? Something is obviously going on.

  It hurt, Samantha realized, more than she wanted it to. It hurt that her mother could so casually dismiss how mean her father could be and immediately go back to assuming that something was wrong with her daughter. Before she could shoot off an angry reply, Irma appeared and dropped into the chaise lounge next to her.

  “What’s wrong?” Irma asked, cutting right to the chase.

  “Is it that obvious?” Samantha asked.

  “You look tense again. Like you did when you first came. Something had to have happened to put that look on your face,” Irma said, stretching out on the lounge.

  “It’s my family – my parents specifically. Just more text messages wanting to know what’s wrong with me, when will I get back to my job and work harder for the next promotion, that kind of thing.” Samantha shrugged. “The last time we spoke my father told me to have a nice life, and now, weeks later I’m getting messages asking why they haven’t heard from me? Um, really?”

  “I’m sure that must be hurtful,” Irma said, her voice full of concern.

  “It’s mean. And then it messes with my head and makes me think that I’m doing something wrong, when I’m absolutely not doing anything wrong other than having a vacation and dating someone I adore. Which, by the way, at thirty-eight years old is completely and totally normal to do.”

  “Have you told them about Lucas yet?”

  “Remember the ‘have a nice life’ comment? I haven’t heard from them since. But I’m the bad one for not reaching out to them? Anyway, there wasn’t exactly an opportune time to tell them I’ve met someone.”

  “Plus, you’re not really required to tell your parents about all the hot times you’re having with the hunky neighbor next to the B&B you’re at.”

  “Exactly!” Samantha said, stabbing a finger in the air. “I get to date who I want.”

  “What are you looking for from them, Sam?” Irma asked, turning to hold Samantha’s hand. “Really and truly?”

  “I want them to just love me for who I truly am. I want to be able to tell them about the things I’m doing and have them say how wonderful it is, instead of telling me what I should be doing or what’s wrong with what I’m currently doing. They always lead with their opinion first and never sit back to just listen to me. It’s like they have this version of me in their mind and that’s what they’re sticking to.”

  “Do you think you can change them?” Irma asked.

  “No,” Samantha said, and squeezed Irma’s hand.

  “Why haven’t you changed your expectations of them? Perhaps there’s a way to reframe your relationship that you don’t continue to get hurt by expecting something different of their actions each time, and they can still feel like they’re involved in your life,” Irma suggested.

  “How do I do that?” Samantha asked.

  “A day at a time,” Irma smiled. “Remember, your parents are human too. Everyone has faults. It’s likely they love you in the only way they’ve been taught or know how to. It’s your job to not let that get in the way of the person you’re meant to be.”

  Samantha blew out a long breath. As if she didn’t already have enough heavy thoughts on her mind, knowing she’d have to leave Lucas and this place, which had become something of a sanctuary, tomorrow.

  “Everything’s good, Mom. Thanks for checking on me. I love you.” Samantha read it out loud as she typed it, then hit send.

  “There,” Irma said, smiling at her. “Doesn’t that feel good?”

  Samantha waited for a response, but none came.

  “See? She can’t even say ‘I love you’ back.”

  “Just because she can’t say it doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel it. You can protect yourself and keep your boundaries up, but still give them love,” Irma said.

  “That’s going to be a strong learning curve. I feel like I keep trying to show them the real me and then getting rejected. They want to see a different version of me.”

  “Then go where you’re wanted,” Irma said.

  Samantha tilted her head at her in question. “What’s that mean?”

  “You have people in your life who love you and see you for who you are. Why are you standing on stage begging for applause from the audience when the people who are clapping for you are in your dressing room?”

  “Um…” Samantha had no good answer for that.

  “Exactly. Now, spend a little time reflecting in this beautiful space. Or read that naughty book you brought with you. Either way, be at peace, pretty one. We’ll see you for dinner tonight,” Irma said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and strolling away.

  She hadn’t said a word about Lucas, Samantha realized.

  Or maybe she’d said her piece.

  Chapter 40

  “Are you sure you want to come home?” Lola asked as Samantha was getting ready for the little going-away dinner they were having on the beach that night.

  “No, I don’t. But as much as I’d love to stay here forever, this isn’t reality,” Samantha said, annoyed at everything. She’d already tried on all her dresses and tossed them all in a heap on the bed. Fuming, she sat on the side of the mattress and stared out the window to where the sun was lowering toward the horizon.

  “Why can’t it be?”

  “Because you can’t just live in a hotel and have vacation sex for the rest of your life,” Samantha grumbled, picking at a loose bead on one of her dresses.

  “Well, no, you can’t just live in a hotel the rest of your life – unless you’re one of those fancy New York women that just, like, live in hotels. Could you imagine? Anytime you’re hungry you just ring for room service. Shopping? Oh, bring the car around. I mean, it’s mad. That lifestyle is so beyond,” Lola chattered.

  “I know,” Samantha said, plopping her chin into her hand.

  “But, that aside, you could rent an apartment down there, couldn’t you? You said there’s loads of rental properties on the island. And residency doesn’t seem to be a problem. If you love it there so much, why don’t you try?”

  “And do what? Just leave my job at Paradiso? Pack up my apartment into boxes? Make Lucas think I’m crazy because I’m dropping everything to be with him? You know what they called that in… what was that movie? Wedding Crashers?”

  “Yes,” Lola sighed, knowing where she was going with this one.

  “A stage-five clinger. That’s what I would be if I rearranged my entire life to show up on this man’s doorstep after only knowing him three weeks.”

  “He sounds different than the others you’ve had, Sam. I think you can trust this guy,” Lola said, her voice soft.

  “I do trust him. But it’s too soon. I can’t make these kinds of decisions in a bubble of vacation sex and non-reality. What happens if I move here and he figures out just how neurotic I am? And needy? And weird?” Samantha demanded.

  “It doesn’t take three weeks of vacation sex to figure that out about you,” Lola said, and laughed when Samantha gr
owled into the phone. “I’m just saying… this guy can see you for who you are. And he’s still right there. Blowing your mind with great sex and taking you on new adventures each day. Why not give it a chance?”

  “Well, I’m not saying no. I’m just saying, does it have to be so absolute? You know I’m total shit at making huge decisions. Can’t we just, like, date long distance a bit and see how we do?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “I don’t know what I want! I don’t want to leave him and I have to, that’s all I know,” Samantha said.

  “Listen, I can’t make this choice for you. But I will say this, Samantha – I love you and I’m here for you. I will always support you, no matter what you do. Also, I’m kick-ass at packing and selling things and I have a key to your condo, an excellent shipping company, and extra storage in my basement. So, the offer stands – I will do this for you if you promise me one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well, two things. First, a place to stay in paradise if you do end up living there.”

  “Done,” Samantha said on a weak laugh.

  “And two – for once, don’t let your head get in the way of what your heart wants. Every time in your life that you’ve followed what other people have wanted for you, you’ve ended up unhappy. Just once, maybe take a chance on yourself.”

  “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do that.” Samantha could feel the panic racing through her at the thought of quitting her very stable job and all the stock options, health benefits, and career advancement she would lose out on.

  “I know you are. It’s just a matter of whether you’re ready to see what I see.”

  “I love you, Lola,” Samantha said.

  “I love you, too, Sam. I expect a phone call tomorrow – no matter what you decide. I’m here for you.”

  “Promise.”

  Samantha hung up, more torn than ever. She had more options than she’d told Lola about, but she wasn’t ready to voice them. First she needed to speak with Lucas.