I Love You, I Hate You Part 2 A second Chance Romance (Broken Love Book 3)

by Bailey B

  I still have time. I can push Sarah off. No one has to know.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Danika demands.

  33

  Danika

  “What the hell is going on here?” I don’t know why I bother to ask. It’s obvious. I should have known this would happen. Logan was a man-whore in high school and probably went back to his promiscuous ways after I left. For all I know, he never stopped.

  Logan shoves Sarah off his lap and she falls to the floor in a heap. Funny how he’s able to do that now but not a few minutes ago. He holds his hands up in surrender, as if to show me they're clean. They’re not. They’re dirty with the sweat of Sarah and probably every other girl he’s cheated on me with. God. How could I have been so stupid to fall for him again? To let my guard down.

  I run my fingers through my hair. Pushing my long bangs back, just to give my hands something to do. If not, I might punch both of them in the face.

  Logan looks me dead in the eye, his gaze strong and assertive. “Nothing, I promise. Sarah’s drunk.”

  I almost believe him but then Sarah climbs to her knees and I’m forced to stare reality in the face. I cross my arms disgusted, wondering, How many times has he done this? Cheated. “Right because it’s always the girl’s fault.”

  “You know you’ve always wanted me,” Sarah slurs, day drunk again. Ever since she and her boyfriend broke up last weekend, she has been a hot mess. She reaches her hand up, touching Logan’s thigh. My stomach twists watching them together.

  Logan swats Sarah’s hand away and stands. He steps over the coffee table and towards me. “I didn’t do anything, Danika. I swear.”

  Is he kidding me? So, what? He expects me to believe he wasn’t kissing Sarah? That he hasn’t done it before? ”What do you take me for, Logan? An idiot?”

  Sarah stands and peels her dress off, exposing her tanning-bed gold breasts that cost her dad a couple grand back in high school. She looks me dead in the eye and snakes her arm up Logan’s chest. I puke in my mouth a little. “Come on, baby. Let’s go up stairs.”

  Baby. Everything inside me dies with that word. This can’t be the first time they’ve been together. Not if she’s calling him by a pet name. My head spins, trying to find when he could have gone behind my back. No one would suspect if he took an extended lunch to have a quickie. It would be even easier to hook up on his night shift weeks. As for Sarah, she comes and goes at all hours. There’s no telling where she’s been or with who. I think I’m gonna be sick.

  Logan grabs Sarah’s wrist and ducks under her arm to face her. He shoves her back a step and growls, “Leave me alone, Sarah.”

  “Was this your plan all along?” My heart is beating so fast it hurts. Everything hurts. The knife in my back has twisted, turning my anger into tears. Tears I choke on trying to get my words out because I think I finally understand.

  “What are you talking about, Danika? There was no plan.”

  “Right.” I wipe my eyes before liquid pain can run down my cheeks. I hate that I’m crying, giving him the reaction he seeks. Showing emotion makes you weak but overcoming it makes you strong, and I’m a survivor. “So, you never wanted revenge? To get back at me for breaking your heart all those years ago?”

  Logan sighs and the truth is written on his face. That’s why Piper said it would be easy to take Logan to bed at the wedding, because he was going to love me and leave me. Only I left first, ruining his carefully crafted plan. It explains why Logan took such drastic measures to get us back. He never wanted Molly. He wanted me. “Danika.”

  I bite my lip, using the physical pain to offset the emotional. I wipe at my eyes again and let out a shaky breath. I don’t want to spend another minute in this house. At least I don’t have a lot of things here. A bag, maybe two with all of Molly’s stuff. “Congratulations, Logan. You did it. My heart’s broken.”

  “God damn it, Danika. I didn’t do anything!” he pleads, stepping forward as I take a step back. “ I love you!”

  I look between Logan and Sarah, the sharp knife digging its way into my heart, puncturing the pieces that began to heal. “I hate you.”

  34

  Danika

  Living options when you’re a broke, single parent with no job and no government assistance are next to none. So I did the only thing I could do.

  Moved in with my Dad.

  Living with him hasn’t been as terrible as I thought it would be. Living with Tessa, however, is a fucking nightmare. All she does is hover. It’s super annoying, but with finals less than three weeks away, she could prove to be useful. After all, it’s not the worst thing in the world to have a grandmother who spoils Molly rotten. If my mom were here, I bet she’d do the same.

  I close the refrigerator door, carrying a jug of lemonade in one hand and a gallon of sweet tea in the other to the dining room. Tessa and I have spent all day in the kitchen, actually getting along. I almost feel like part of the family. Until I catch a sneer out of the corner of my eye. It’s then I remember I’m not just an unwanted guest in her home, but also in her life.

  I lift my head as the front door closes. Dad still has another thirty or so minutes of his shift and I wasn’t aware anyone else was coming.

  Logan walks in with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. I shouldn’t be surprised to see. He’s made an effort to come over everyday since I moved in here a few weeks ago, but I usually hide in my room until he leaves. Which sometimes takes hours. That man is almost as stubborn as I am, but I’m not ready to forgive him yet.

  Logan closes the door and smiles timidly at me. I bite my lip, I’ve only seen him straight from work once. Not gonna lie, seeing him in his uniform is kind of hot. Too bad every time I look at him all I see are Sarah’s legs spread open over his lap. Even if she was the one who threw herself at him, Logan wasn’t helpless. He could have stood up and pushed her off his lap. He could have made a stronger effort to have that whole situation not happen.

  I narrow my eyes, all fluttery feelings gone. I opened my heart up to Logan again and every day he visits Molly I’m reminded that he shit all over it.

  “You look beautiful.” He extends the flowers to me. I stare at them, unsure of what to do. If I take the bouquet I’m accepting his apology and wordlessly saying I’m ready to move on. If I don’t, he’ll probably recycle the gesture and give them to his mom. Even though she and I have been civil today, I don’t want her to have what’s mine.

  “Danika!” Tessa screams from the kitchen.The hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge. Only once have I heard such fear, and the cause was life threatening. I turn on my heels and run towards her voice. Time seems to stop in the kitchen. Tessa is frozen, cradling an unconscious Molly in her arms. Logan hovers behind me, one hand on my hip to move me out of his way. The room is filled with food for tonight’s dinner but my eyes find the problem immediately. Strawberries.

  And then, as my brain registers what happened, time begins to move again.

  “What happened?” Logan pushes me aside and effortlessly slips into work mode. He takes Molly from Tessa's arms and lays her on the kitchen floor. He angles her head upright and sweeps his finger in her mouth, checking for a blockage.

  “I...I don’t know.” Tessa runs her hands through her hair. “She was fine. I turned my back for a second to take the turkey out of the oven and when I turned around she was unconscious.”

  Logan lowers his cheek to Molly’s lips. Feeling what I already know. He presses his mouth to hers, breathing life into her little body, then begins chest compressions. “Danika!”

  I snap out of my daze and narrow my sights on Tessa. “How could you? She’s allergic to strawberries!”

  “How was I supposed to know?” Tessa snaps back.

  I march over to the refrigerator and find the note I wrote the day we moved in, buried under a heap of printed recipes. I snatch it off the fridge, the magnet and subsequent papers flying onto the floor. Holding it up in Tessa�
�s face I scream, “I told you what she was allergic to. I even fucking wrote it down so you wouldn’t forget and you still fucked it up. I should have never trusted you alone with her. Not for one minute.”

  Tessa’s face blanches. “Danika I… I’m sorry.”

  “Both of you, shut the fuck up!” Logan yells. He swoops Molly into his arms and runs her outside.

  Sirens echo in the distance, growing louder with each passing second. Logan must have radioed someone while Tessa and I were arguing. I grab my purse off the counter and follow him outside. Two guys have Molly strapped onto the gurney and are lifting her into the back of the ambulance.

  “Get in,” Logan demands. “I’ll follow with Mom.”

  35

  Logan

  “Say something, Logan. Please.” Mom’s eyes burn a hole into my cheek.

  I grip the steering wheel and follow the ambulance down River Boulevard. I change my radio to a channel I’m not authorized to be on. I pinch the receiver button attached to my shoulder. “How is she?”

  Bryan, the ambulance driver, is a young kid, a good kid. “Not good, Harris. They paddled her two lights ago and your woman is hysterical.”

  Fuck. “Did she flatline?”

  I steal a glance at Mom. She’s staring at my radio, wide eyed, waiting for the answer. It takes maybe ten seconds for my radio to make that stupid static noise, signaling someone is about to speak, but it’s the longest ten seconds of my life. “They brought her back, but she was out for a few minutes. You know what that means, Harris.”

  “I know. Thanks, man.” I veer to the right, taking the road that leads to the Emergency Room parking lot while Bryan takes the ambulance around back. I could follow, but having mom with me makes the situation more complicated. Besides, if the time comes when I need to pull strings, I don’t want to waste my chances on a backdoor entry.

  “What does that mean, Logan?” Mom’s voice shakes. She grips the seat belt, squeezing the fabric between her fingers until it bends in half, and then some.

  I take a deep breath as we walk to the entrance, putting on my work face. That may be my daughter in there but I can’t lose my head. Most of the doctors and nurses know me for one reason or another. I may be off duty but I’m still in uniform. Too bad there are more than a handful of nurses who would do anything to burn me because their feelings got hurt. “It means there’s a possibility for brain damage, Mom.”

  Mom gasps, covering her mouth with her hands. She shakes her head, tears running down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I never would have given Molly strawberries had I known.”

  I rub the back of my neck, then hold my arms out to her. As pissed off as I am, this was nothing more than an accident. “It’s okay. Molly will be okay.”

  “Danika will never forgive me,” she cries into my shoulder. “She already hates me for how I screwed up with you.”

  I rub Mom’s back. Danika’s forgiveness depends on what happens to Molly. Hate to say it, but mine does, too. Right now, though, there’s no point in pouring salt on the wound and every minute I’m out here consoling my mother is a minute I’m away from my girls. I pull back and set my hands on mom’s shoulders. “Call Piper. She’ll be pissed if you don’t, even if she is stuck in Nashville.”

  Mom nods and fishes in her purse for her phone. “You’re right. Find Walter. Maybe he can help.”

  “I intend to.”

  Kelly Hallorin is the worst possible nurse to be sitting at the triage station. We had a fling before the wedding that lasted a few weeks and she didn’t take it well when I called things off. We were never exclusive, but I ended it the moment I knew Danika was coming home.

  Kelly laces her fingers together and rests her chin on her hands. “To what do we owe this pleasure, Logan?”

  “I need to see Dr. Winters.” I stand at the double doors, waiting for her to buzz me through. I don’t know where Walter’s office is, but I’ll find it. He wouldn’t send Danika to wait in the waiting room. She’s too much of a mess.

  “Aren’t you off duty? If so, can’t let you back.” Kelly shrugs.

  I slam my fist against the wall, my temper getting the best of me. “God damn it, Kelly. I need to see Walter. Now!”

  Another, older nurse, steps through the doors. She crosses her arms, expecting me to dash inside or move backwards. I do neither. I stand my ground because I’m not going anywhere, especially to jail for breaking into a hospital.

  “Sir,” she demands, “I’m going to have to ask you to have a seat.”

  “Look ma’am, my daughter is back there. I understand that there’s nothing I can do for her but she came in with my wife.” Wife is a stretch, but they’d never let me back there if I said girlfriend, which is also a lie, and I’d for sure fail if I said baby mama.

  “You’re wife!” Kelly screams from the triage desk. Her chair goes rolling and a door slams somewhere behind me. I don’t care enough to look.

  “Please. I need to be with my wife.”

  The woman’s face softens to sympathy. She walks over to the newly abandoned computer and swipes her badge to unlock it. “Who’s the patient?”

  “Molly Harris.” This is probably the only time I’ll ever wish Danika had given Molly last name instead of mine. The Winters’ name might have had some pull because of Walter.

  The nurse swipes her badge again and stands upright. “Come on.”

  “Really?” Tears of relief sting at the back of my eyes. I thought I’d have to fight harder with Kelly sitting at triage. I thought she’d keep me out here, in the dark, away from Danika.

  The nurse gives me a sad smile, then nods. I refuse to read into her somber expression as I follow her through two sets of locked doors and down the hallway to a lounge I’m assuming is for nurses only. The room has the bare minimum, a small kitchenette, a table, a television mounted on the wall, and a light blue loveseat Danika is curled into a ball on.

  Danika lifts her head at the sound of the door opening. She’s a mess, as I expected. As soon as she sees me she jumps up and throws her arms around my neck. I hold her as she breaks down again. I stroke her long locks, trying not to tug on her roots as my fingers get stuck in knots. “It’s okay, honey. Molly will be all right.”

  Danika shakes her head and looks up at me, red rimmed eyes filling with water again. “She died, Logan. On the way here. They…” Her whole body shakes, ragged breaths eating her words.

  I cradle Danika’s cheeks in my hands and rest my forehead against hers. My stomach twists and my own tears are seconds away from spilling down my cheeks but I will be strong. For her. “They brought her back.”

  Danika nods as another sob breaks through. I hold her tight, willing what little strength I have in my body to leave me and go to her. I guide us to the couch and sit. I lay Danika down, her head in my lap, and play with her hair until she cries herself to sleep. Someone should get some rest. We have a long night ahead of us.

  36

  Logan

  “Any news?” Mom has a cardboard drink carrier filled with coffee in her hand. She sets the holder on the center table and drags a chair over.

  I wish, but we’ve been kept in the dark. Walter hasn’t come to see us and the nurses I’ve harassed have been tight-lipped. “Not yet.”

  Danika sits up and wipes the sleep and mascara trails from her eyes. “No news is good news.”

  “No. Good news is good news.” Mom takes a coffee for herself and brings the black plastic lid to her lips.

  Danika slumps back against the couch cushion and closes her eyes. She’s lost the will to fight and that scares me. “No news means she’s not dead.”

  I know Mom. She can’t help but say something snarky, especially when I’m around. She’s gotten better over the years about not being so cold-hearted towards me, but sometimes she can’t help herself. To keep the words I know are lingering on her lips from spilling out I ask, “Who let you in? I had a hell of a time with the triage nurse.”

  Mom flicks her
hand in the air and sits back in her chair crossing her legs. “Walter got me a pass. Before Danika and Molly moved in, I used to come up when Walter was working and have lunch with him.”

  “That doesn’t require an access badge.” I’m making conversation just to make it. I don’t care nor want to know what happens on Walter’s break but it’s better than silence and wondering. I look at the clock on the wall. It’s only been thirty minutes but it feels like I’ve been in this room my entire life. I’ve turned my head to the open door every time someone has walked by, hoping they have news about Molly.

  Mom arches her eyebrow. “Do you really want the details of what happens when I visit your stepfather?”

  “Gross mom.” Heavy footsteps travel from outside the door into the room. I sit up straight, each muscle tense, watching. This is it.

  Walter pauses in the doorway, long enough for Mom to gasp. He holds up his hands and comes closer, “Relax. It’s not her blood.”

  Thank fucking God. His green scrubs aren’t drenched, but there’s enough blood to cover most of his shirt and splatter his pants. Too much if it had come from my little girl.

  “One of the residents burst a blood bag.” Walter shakes his head. “Don’t ask me how she did it, those things are tough, but it got me and two other nurses.”

  “You have a fucking newbie working on my daughter?” Heat claims my neck and climbs to my cheeks. Danika takes my hand and brings it to her lap. Funny how the tables have turned and she’s the one comforting me now.

  “Relax. That was the only thing she did.”

  “Doesn’t make me feel any better,” I mumble.

  “Dad,” Danika says. I hear her impatience, but she’s doing her best to keep it together. We all are. “You’re stalling.”