To Be Your Wife

by Rae Kennedy

  “Yeah.” My mom brushes her hair behind her ear. “It’s one of my specialties.”

  “Everybody better watch out, because I could eat this entire thing.”

  She gives him a genuine smile.

  “I made the fruit salad,” I chime in as we set the food down on the table. “Yep. I cut up some fruit...and put it in a bowl.”

  Tuck looks at my bowl of fruit. “Well, you did a great job—the fruit looks all very uniformly cut. That’s pretty important for a fruit salad.”

  “Thank you.”

  He wraps his arm around my shoulder as the back door swings open. Forrest and Ryder run past their parents and into the grass, already screaming. Jack holds the door for Emily, who walks out carrying their baby girl. She’s almost four months old and is all squishy leg rolls and a giant, floppy sunhat in a little romper covered in watermelons and ruffles.

  Forrest runs up to Tuck—his brother close behind—with a big smile of recognition on his face.

  “Hey, uh...mister! Are you still in our monster-hunting club?”

  “Of course I am!” Tuck responds.

  “Cool! Hey, Ryder,” Forrest whispers loudly, “he’s still in our club.” He turns back to Tuck. “This is my little brother, Ryder. Hey, did you know I just graduated kindergarten? Ryder isn’t in kindergarten yet because he’s still too little.”

  “Hey, you two—go play,” Jack tells the boys as he and Emily walk over to us. The boys run off. My mom rushes over to Emily after rearranging the food table.

  “Oh, baby girl, come see Grandma!” she gushes as she cradles her newest grandchild and kisses her chubby cheeks.

  Eric and Charlie are on the other side of the yard setting up a game of cornhole. My youngest nephew—who has just mastered walking and is now working on running—is “helping” them by gathering and occasionally trying to wander off with the beanbags.

  Tuck and I circle around and I re-introduce him to family and happily introduce him as my boyfriend to our friends as more guests arrive. I try to pretend I don’t notice when Wes and his mother, Peggy, arrive. I let Tuck and Mick carry on their conversation about Mick’s work. It’s not particularly enthralling to me but Tuck seems quite interested. Mick is also a lawyer. He handles mostly contract work for local businesses and many of the farms and ranches in this and the neighboring counties.

  “Burgers are ready!” My dad calls and the line is already down to the dessert table before we get there.

  “Hey,” Wes says, hands in his pockets as he stands next to us.

  “Oh, hi.” Gah. “Uh, you remember Tuck?”

  Tuck and Wes regard each other.

  “Hey, man. Nice to see you again,” Tuck says.

  “Yeah,” Wes says and they do that chin-jerk-guy-nod thing acknowledging one another.

  We get our utensils and napkins and start loading our plates with fruit and chips and, in Tuck’s case, way too much potato salad. I’m standing in the middle of Tuck and Wes, who haven’t spoken in at least three solid minutes. It’s probably too late to bail out of the food line now, right?

  Thankfully, Eric runs up at that moment. “Hey,” he says a little out of breath, clapping Wes hard on the back. “You and Court up for a rematch against Charlie and me after we eat?” He gestures to the cornhole game set up to our left. “We are going to crush you this time.”

  Wes and I are the cornhole champions. Eric and Charlie have not won a match against us since the summer of my seventh-grade year.

  Eric looks between Wes and Tuck, realizing his mistake. “Uh...”

  I think he says “shit” under his breath and then he smiles unnaturally wide at the three of us. I’m about to give Tuck an apologetic look when he pipes in.

  “That sounds like fun,” he says. “You guys should totally play.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “Sure. I’ve never played cornhole but sounds like it will be fun watching you beat your brothers horribly.”

  Wes snickers and Eric looks at Tuck with a smirk. “Oh, it’s on.”

  * * *

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” I ask Tuck after I finish my burger and he’s polishing off his third helping of potato salad. I know, now, his declaration to my mom about being able to eat the entire bowl was accurate. “I’m sure it’s already weird for you to have my ex-boyfriend here, anyway.” Heck, it’s weird for me too. “I don’t have to play with him. I mean, I’m sorry he’s here and you have to deal with all this.”

  “Court, you don’t have to apologize. He’s a family friend who also works with your dad and brothers. I understand he’s going to be around. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” He gives me a wink and I smile back. “As long as you’re not still in love with him or something.”

  A hard, loud laugh erupts from my throat and then turns into a sort of cough-giggle thing. “What? Of course I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you, silly.”

  He drops his fork with the last bite of potato salad to his plate and we both stare at one another.

  Oh shit. Did I just say that? Out loud? That I’m in love with him?

  Yep. Sure did.

  And Tuck is looking at me, head slightly tilted. His eyes are squinted toward me and I’m not sure if he’s super confused and trying to figure out what I said or if it’s just the sun.

  He should be confused because it is too soon for me to be saying that. Way too soon.

  It’s true, though. I do love him.

  Still too soon.

  But then he smiles. Wide. With two deep dimples.

  He leans over to me so his lips are at my ear and he whispers, “I love you, too.” He kisses me on the cheek, a grin on his lips. It might be as big as mine.

  Then he looks over my shoulder toward the food tables. “Do you think there’s any potato salad left?”

  * * *

  “Atta girl!” Wes yells as I sink a beanbag into the hole, simultaneously knocking another in after it. That’s six points and we are in the lead.

  When I turn, Wes is rushing me with his hands up and we double high-five with a loud clap. I glance over to Tuck. He’s sitting in a folding chair watching us play and I wonder if that was too much. Maybe I shouldn’t touch Wes at all.

  But Tuck is smiling, giving me a thumbs-up and a big grin.

  As Eric takes his turn, Forrest and Ryder circle Tuck excitedly and soon their parents follow. The boys run off, but Jack and Emily stay, chatting with Tuck.

  Eric gets two points. We are still in the lead.

  Wes takes his tosses and the baby on Emily’s hip starts to fuss. Forrest and Ryder are running around with some older kids a bit farther off, both with brightly colored water balloons in their hands. Wes gets four points and our lead is looking good.

  Charlie is up next but I keep looking over to where Tuck is sitting. Jack is no longer by Tuck but is running toward Ryder, who is sitting in the grass, crying, and wet. Emily bounces my niece to calm her fussing, but the baby is crying in earnest now.

  “Court—”

  I turn back to the game. “Yeah?”

  “You’re up.”

  Charlie got seven points and now we are only leading by one. My brothers are looking far too pleased with themselves for my liking.

  I gather my beanbags and when I glance back to Tuck, Emily is gone and Tuck is standing now, holding my niece. He is swaying, swinging her little round body while making silly faces at her. She’s flailing her chubby arms and kicking her feet, practically bouncing out of his grasp as she giggles at him.

  My first bag hits the board but slides off with a thud. My next toss ends up a full two feet wide of the board. That was embarrassing. I’m glad Tuck didn’t see that. He’s too busy smiling at my niece, rapt by her little round face and toothless grin.

  “Any time now,” Eric calls.

  Right.

  I throw the rest of my beanbags. I get zero points.

  Emily has returned with a bottle but instead of reaching for her girl, sh
e gives the bottle to Tuck. He cradles the baby in one large arm and feeds her. Her dimpled hand grips the bottle eagerly and Tuck looks down at her the whole time, a serene smile on his face.

  Eric is doing a little dance and pumping his fists in the air. I look at the cornhole board—one bag is on the board and one in the hole. That’s four points and now we are down by three.

  If Wes can get six points, we’ll be at twenty-one points and we win. I want to wipe the gloating expression off Eric’s face.

  Wes swishes two of his four bags in the hole. Six points. We win and I may or may not make an audible sigh of relief just as Tuck walks up, cradling the dozing baby who makes soft sucking noises in her sleep.

  “If this is what you look like when you win, I don’t want to see what happens when you lose this game,” Tuck teases me.

  “I don’t lose.”

  Tuck and Wes exchange smiles. “Has she always been this competitive?”

  Wes chuckles. “Yes, she’s always been this bad.”

  Are they ganging up on me?

  “Look at you, putting that babe to sleep like a pro,” my mom dotes on Tuck as she walks up to us. “Here, I’ll take her inside and lay her down.”

  Tuck passes her the baby, careful not to wake her. Mom smiles at him with soft eyes the whole time then heads for the house.

  “Rematch?” Eric yells.

  “Nah, I’m done.” My winning streak is safely intact and I’d like to keep it that way.

  “I’ll play,” Tuck answers.

  Gracie and Kyla wander over and we watch the guys play. Eric is initially neutral about being teamed with Tuck, but when Tuck scores ten points on his first turn, Eric immediately turns into a high-fiving, dancing, yelling ball of excitement. It might be the first game of cornhole he’s won in years.

  I chat with Kyla about her plans—she’s not going to the university with Gracie this fall but staying home to start work and help her family. She is also very curious about Tuck and weirdly excited that I have a new boyfriend. This makes more sense when she asks to play in the next game and asks Wes to be her partner while literally batting her eyelashes at him.

  Tuck takes my hand and we walk down the hill, through the tall grasses and along the row of poplar trees. There is a fresh floral scent in the air and we just talk and steal kisses. Tuck asks me more about my family and my hometown.

  “Do you have tomorrow off for Memorial Day?” I ask.

  Tuck nods.

  “Will you stay the night with me?”

  * * *

  My lace curtains ripple as the warm breeze comes through my open window. Branches sway, leaves rustle, and crickets chirp in the distance creating a summer night orchestra. It’s hard to keep my eyes open as I wait for Tuck.

  I’m in a deep blue haze when my eyes open to a light touch on my shoulder. Tuck lies next to me, his body warm under the covers.

  The leaves of the maple tree outside my window shimmer, reflecting the starlight just enough I can make out the contours of Tuck’s face as I sleepily press my lips to his cheek, over the ridge of his jaw, to the freckle on his shoulder...

  He holds me as we lay. “I missed this,” he whispers.

  “Mmhmm.” I nuzzle into the crook of his neck as his fingertips brush along my arm, down my back, over my hip and thigh. I lift my arms so he can remove my shirt. He continues exploring my skin as if he’s memorizing every curve. He grazes up my stomach and gently over my nipple. The rise of my chest quickens with my heartbeat as he continues to tease, every inch of my skin hypersensitive.

  He slides his hand to grip the nape of my neck but he doesn’t pull me to him. His breathing is heavy and hot as he leans toward me. His lips are parted, puffy and soft. I close the space between us and get lost in the feel and taste of his mouth.

  He kneads circles into my hip with his thumb and I rock against him, warming all over.

  “I wasn’t going to...” He slides his fingers into the waistband of my panties. “But—”

  “Yes, please,” I say as he pulls them down.

  I don’t have to tell him to be quiet as he undresses and tears open the foil packet. We lay on our sides facing one another, my leg hooked over his hip. Wrapped around each other we kiss as he enters me. Slowly. Silently.

  The sheets wrinkle under us. He moves slick inside me, our lips and limbs are entwined and there is nothing else.

  There is only us, the crickets, the wind, and our quiet lovemaking. Nothing exists beyond this moment.

  He slips his hand between us, finding my throbbing clit, rubbing it in rhythm with his thrusts. I bite my lip to silence my moans. I cling to him as my insides vibrate and clench around his cock. He holds me tight, driving into me steadily through my orgasm.

  “Fuck, it feels so good when you come,” he whispers in my ear.

  He rolls me onto my back. I love the weight of him pressing me to the mattress—the reminder my body is firmly under his even when my mind is still floating somewhere far away and blissed out.

  He starts pumping into me faster, harder. But he’s still holding back, trying to be quiet. I grab his face and kiss him as he starts to shudder. He sinks into me two more times, hard and slow as he releases before collapsing on top of me.

  I hold his head to my chest. I’m sure he can hear my heart beating wildly beneath him. When he starts to pull out, I hold him tighter.

  “No, I want you to stay.” Preferably forever.

  He hums. His lips brush my breast and I stroke my fingers through his short hair.

  After a few minutes, he gets up to dispose of the condom and make sure we are cleaned up. He walks back to the bed in all his naked glory and I wish we were at his place, or my own place, or that I at least didn’t have to work tomorrow before sunrise. The picture of Tuck standing behind my door, only half in his pants, with my dad on the other side floods my vision.

  “I guess you probably shouldn’t stay.” I meant it as a question but it comes out more matter-of-factly.

  “You want me to leave?”

  I can’t make out the intricacies of his face but his voice is soft and solemn.

  “No.” No, I do not want him to leave.

  “Good.” He climbs back in next to me and wraps me in his arms. “Because I definitely don’t want to go.”

  He climbs in next to me, his knee nestling between my thighs, arms around my waist. I nuzzle into his neck, enjoying the scent of his skin and he combs his fingers through my hair.

  * * *

  It’s still dark in my room when my eyes open. Tuck’s heavy arm is draped across my hip and his feet are tangled with mine in the sheets. Something woke me up, but it wasn’t the alarm I set before we fell asleep.

  Two solid knocks sound against my door again. That was it.

  “Court?” My dad’s deep voice comes from the other side of the door.

  Shit.

  I set that alarm specifically so this wouldn’t happen again. What the fuck happened to my alarm?

  “Uhh...” Tuck is still naked and on top of me, completely out and oblivious. “Don’t come in, I’m changing.”

  “So we’ll see you down shortly then?”

  “Yup.” I try to sound cheery and not at all panicky and hyperventilating.

  “Great.” The old wood floors creak under my dad’s weight as he steps away from my door.

  I eagerly await the sound of footsteps descending the stairs, but he’s stopped.

  “Oh, and Court?” he says, his voice still uncomfortably close.

  “Yeah?”

  “Tell Tuck he can come help out too, if he’d like.”

  What? Um. My mouth is open but no sound comes out.

  My dad continues, “Also, let him know he’s welcome to use the stairs—unless he just loves using the window.”

  CHAPTER 20

  “Court and Eric, go get the rest of the calves from the east pasture. Jack and Wes will get started on the vaccinations. I have some work to do around the perimeter. Tuck—you’
re with me.”

  Eric coughs into his fist but the rest of the guys avert their eyes and try to hide their smiles after my dad’s assignments. Much like they pretended not to notice Tuck walked out with me in the same clothes he was wearing yesterday.

  “Dad—” I take a step toward him and keep my voice low.

  “What?” He doesn’t take any measure to quiet himself. “He isn’t rightly dressed to be wrangling calves.”

  I look over at Tuck’s flip-flops and hate to agree.

  “Besides,” my dad continues, “I could use the help with the gates. And it’s nice and quiet in the truck so we can...talk.”

  * * *

  I tap my foot against the barstool as I sit at the kitchen counter. Tuck and my dad haven’t returned to the house yet and it is well after lunchtime.

  I’ve texted Tuck to see how things are going but he hasn’t responded.

  When the front door swings open, I rush to the entryway. Tuck strides in with an easy grin on his face, though he looks flushed.

  “How’d it go? Are you okay?” I ask him frantically as I look over his body, my hands on his chest. I don’t know what I’m looking for.

  Tuck looks both confused and amused.

  “I texted. I never heard back.”

  “Oh. I didn’t charge my phone last night and it died.”

  I let out a breath in relief.

  “What were you so worried about?”

  “I don’t know. My dad has guns.”

  “And you let me go out alone with him?”

  I shrug and Tuck chuckles.

  “I’m fine. It was good. We had some long talks and I think we understand each other.”

  I eye him suspiciously but Tuck looks perfectly calm.

  “Really,” he assures. “Everything is all right. He invited me to go fishing later. Jack and the boys too.”

  “Fishing?” I hate fishing. “You’re going fishing with my dad? When?”

  “Uh...” He rubs the back of his neck. “He’s down in the garage getting the poles and gear right now.”

  Right now?

  Tuck must recognize the look of surprise on my face because he starts to backtrack quickly.

  “You know, I came to visit you and I’ve hardly seen you today. I’m sorry. I don’t have to go. Honestly, I remember not even liking fishing very much, though I haven’t been since I was twelve or thirteen. My dad used to take me...” He looks at the floor as he trails off.