Paladin's Oath

by M. H. Johnson

  “You should try it, Jess!” Appolonia declared. “Of course I had the first one, it is my namesake after all! We’re calling them Jopples.”

  Jess laughed at that and took a bite of the apple in her hand.

  To say it was the most exquisitely delicious apple she had ever tasted, both sweet and tart and perfectly crunchy would almost be an understatement. She sighed with pleasure as she devoured the apple in a series of juice squirting bites. “By Justice, Karine, I think my family’s orchards might be in trouble if we must compete with these apples!” she teased.

  Karine grinned, giving a gentle shake of her head. "As if we would ever compete against the Calenbrys who brought us our salvation. No, dear Jess. This is your tree. Your essence courses through it, as anyone with a connection to this land could tell. The fruit is yours to do with as you wish, though we are grateful for the wonderful shade this will provide our home during the high heat of summer."

  Jess grinned. “Well then, fair is fair. These are your lands. I can tell that just by gazing at you, even if my memory of what had happened the night I entered the Shadowlands is irredeemably cloudy. So, if we are to sell the apples, we will split the proceeds between our Houses. I’d love to take some home, though, and see if I can encourage them to grow upon our lands. Wouldn’t these be a treat for Father!”

  Karine nodded. “A wonderful idea, dear Jess. With your permission, we will do the same, though I shudder to think how long it will take trees such as these to reach maturity, without your magics to speed their growth along.”

  Jess just shook her head in bemused wonder, gazing anew at the soaring tree whose branches arched so high overhead. Now that she knew what to look for, she caught sight of other golden apples slowly falling to the lush grass at the foot of the tree, spinning gently downwards on leafy wings. "Why are we calling them Jopples?"

  Jess felt her right hand being clasped once more as Onnika gently pulled toward her, kissing her softly on the cheek. Jess pretended she didn’t hear her mother pointedly clearing her throat. “That’s because they are our apples, my paladin. Jess and Onnika's apples. Jopples. Do you like the name?”

  Jess grinned, impulsively drawing Onnika close, her surprised gasp all the invitation she needed to lock her lips to Onnika’s own, kissing her deeply, passionately, smiling as she felt the girl's knees weaken as their tongues intertwined, a soft moan escaping Onnika even as Jess held her in a tight, passionate embrace.

  “I love it. Never have I tasted fruit so sweet,” she said some moments later to a panting Onnika, admiring the way the light caressed her golden curls. The girl’s bright blue eyes were slightly glazed, her cheeks flushed, a dazed grin upon her face. “The apple was good too.”

  Appolonia gave a throaty chuckle. “Gods I missed you, Jess. You make me look so good in comparison!”

  Their mother looked at a loss for words, blinking rapidly.

  Jess pointedly ignored both of them. “My memory is still so spotty regarding everything that happened,” Jess confided solemnly, her fingers tracing Onnika’s cheek, stroking her lips, caressing her sigh. “Perhaps we could go back to your quarters and discuss the matter in exquisite detail.” Jess grinned wickedly as she gently pulled a giggling Onnika back into her arms. “We’ll even bring some Jopples.”

  22

  “By the angels above, Jess! Never have I felt that way before.” Onnika reached over to stroke Jess’s cheek, gazing at her with adoration as they luxuriated in the warm sensual feel of each other’s flesh, both having reached the heights of ecstasy, safe and warm in each other’s arms.

  “I owe you my life, you know.” Onnika shuddered even as Jess held her close, soothing her with tender caresses and soft, loving lips.

  “I am your paladin, dear one. How could I not come for you when you called?” Jess grinned, crimson eyes gazing deeply into her lover’s solemn countenance.

  Crimson. The mirror did not lie. The more Jess delved, the more it changed her. Her eyes were amber no longer, but well and truly a brilliant shade of blood. It was then that Jess saw the tears begin to flow, which Onnika fiercely tried to blink away. Tears and pain Jess had hoped to wash away with her tender touch, yet obviously some torments were not so easily soothed.

  “I still remember, you know.” Onnika shuddered again, and Jess turned so she could hold Onnika close, as she would a trembling sister or child who needed a mother’s comfort and love.

  “I know I’m not supposed to. I know it’s all supposed to fade away when we leave the Shadowrealms. And maybe it’s because I insisted Karine transcribe everything that happened to me. And I read it over and over, and now it’s like I can’t get the image out of my mind. But I swear, it’s not just from reading it. I feel it. I feel it deep down inside of me, sick and twisted, what, what my own father did to me!”

  Her chest began to heave as she choked out great gasping sobs, and Jess understood that Onnika was tormented with the pain of knowing that her own father had so callously planned to sacrifice her very soul to a hellish host of foul demons, a betrayal of such unimaginable scope that it had scarred her every bit as much as the physical torments he had inflicted upon her. Though Jess had managed to save Onnika from such a terrible fate, her body and soul intact and embracing the living world once more, Jess couldn’t take away the horror of what Onnika had endured.

  “I am so sorry that I could not undo what had already been done.” Jess’s voice was low and aching, her heart heavy with how cruelly life had brought down the beautiful treasure here in her arms. If she had not gotten to her in time? Jess shuddered. It would have been unthinkable. She couldn’t imagine the fury that would have enveloped her then, or the terrible things she would have done.

  Jess gently kissed the nape of her lover's neck. "What matters, my precious one, is that we are both here today. Alive and well. Able to savor life, to enjoy its golden sunsets, family that loves us, and of course, each other." She held Onnika close even as the girl began to cry again. Gently, she soothed her lover's aching heart, kissing away her salty tears.

  "I wish I could believe that, Jess. I wish I could feel innocent and free again. Not like I was tainted, not like I'm so horrible my own father wouldn't want me!"

  Jess had no easy answer for that. She soothed her beloved as best she could, measuring her words carefully. “I adore you. I want you to know that the past doesn’t matter. The evil things people may have done to you? That is a mark against their soul, not yours. And the man who claimed to be your father? The evilest of all. But don’t worry. Our foes are dead or fled. They will never trouble you again. That I feel in my gut, even though I don’t remember it anymore in my mind.” Jess sighed. “Now it is for you to undergo the most important challenge of all. Love yourself, take care of yourself, treat yourself with the respect and dignity you deserve. Even though once you were betrayed, the shame is theirs, not yours. You have but to realize that and reclaim yourself.”

  Onnika clung to Jess fiercely, as if she were a vital raft keeping her from being swept up and drowned by the terrible riptides of memory and despair. “I love you, Jess. I am so thankful you still find me attractive. I am so grateful that in your eyes, at least, I am clean. I am pure.” She laughed lightly through her tears. “No boy would ever want me, now. But at least, at least I have this moment with you.”

  “If any boy didn’t want you, they are a damn fool!” Jess said fiercely, even as she kissed Onnika with tender passion. “The fault is with them, not you. Do you understand? If they show themselves the type to blame the victim, then they prove themselves utterly unworthy of you, and thank the angels above that you can find that out soonest, before you find yourself married to a selfish, smug brute.”

  Onnika smiled at her lover's passionate defense of her worth and virtue. "Thank you for your words, Jess," Onnika whispered gratefully, kissing Jessica tenderly on the lips. "I'm glad you, at least understand.” She yawned then, deeply. “I am tired, my paladin. Will you hold me? Just until I go to sleep?”<
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  “Of course, my princess.” Jess kissed her softly, holding Onnika close, finding herself filled with a tender warmth as she felt the girl in her arms sink into a soft gentle sleep, Onnika’s apple sweet breath gently tickling Jess’s ear. She could not remember the last time she had felt so happy, so content, or so loved as she did at that moment, as much as her heart also ached for her lover’s pain.

  Some time later the waning sunlight played upon Jess's sleeping countenance, and with a delicate yawn she found herself awakening, blinking away the rich golden shafts of light filled with glowing dust motes and bringing to mind how late the afternoon hour was. She found herself blushing slightly in sweet memory even as she gazed down at her softly sleeping lover, instinctively pulling the sheet and quilt to cover Onnika's creamy white shoulders, kissing the girl gently on the lips as she did so, receiving the sweetest sleepy smile in return, before Onnika drifted to sleep once more. Jess shook her head ruefully in recollection of how blatantly she had led Onnika back to her quarters, and right in front of her mother's disbelieving gaze.

  Jess didn’t know if it had been the last dregs of a Delver's whimsy that only now did she find her head clearing of, or the effects of the sweet, almost magical apple she had found so indescribably intoxicating that had enticed her to give in to her sometimes maddening impulses.

  Contrary to what her family might think, there were at least occasional times when she’d look back in reflection and realize with some rue how her passions and impulses often got the better of her, and wonder how much calmer her life would be if cool forethought came more naturally to her. She chuckled softly at her own failings, but refused to let bemusement turn to regret. She was who she was, and following her passions, taking strength from them, was as true to her nature as anything else that made up her psyche or soul.

  Were her heart not fully invested in her drives and desires, she knew she wouldn’t have a quarter of the strength and resolve she otherwise brought to the fore. And to Delve successfully and survive the madness of Shadow required her being one with her passions, utterly focused on mastering the challenges before her.

  Being one with her drives and desires was the source of her strength, the fount of her potency, her resiliency, and what kept her moving forward toward her ultimate potential as a warrior without peer. The drawback, of course, was the occasional chagrin of looking back at her past and realizing her very nature had her play the jester or fool as much as the hero in the saga of her life.

  Besides, had embracing battle-frenzy and jumping madly into life's conflicts not come so naturally to her, she would have frozen in terror the first time Eloquin had sent his anxious Squires into the hot cauldron of combat, scouting out that ugly little festering sore of a slaver's camp, and butchering every able-bodied bandit within. Had she hesitated on that night she had lost her innocence upon the battlefield, her friends might have died. For she alone could ward away the wooden spear shafts, the crossbow bolts fired from ambush, rare as those were. No matter how well armored and trained her fellow Squires might be, there was always the chance of a lucky arrow bringing them down. It only took one in a hundred. Yet with Jess on their side, not one would hit. Not a single one.

  And that was just the start. For slavery was the one blasphemy no lord would dare admit to, the king himself denying that such foul raiders existed within his kingdom, even as Eloquin was given orders to use his Squires to purge northern Erovering of each and every such camp discovered. All off the records. All of it considered part of their training. None of those deeds to be acknowledged, even as Eloquin's Squires were given leave to carry on like men on crusade, youths under twenty with blood on their souls, brandy in their veins, desperately seeking to forget, seeking solace in each other's arms. All of them depending on Jess to ward arrows and spears that might pierce their well-guarded ranks. All of them, counting on her. In all the time she had attended Highrock, not once had she refused a mission, from the time they had first blackened their daggers, riding under Eloquin's banner.

  Of course her mother understood what Jess had endured as a Squire, as much as they both pretended ignorance. The blood that had been on her hands, the boys and girls that had been in her bed. How could it be otherwise? Her mother had seen all too well the weapon Jess had been forged into when Jessica's cavalry saber had cut down the pair of courtiers about to kill her, Agda caught up in intrigue that might have cost her her head. All the same, Jess decided, yawning in the gentle afternoon’s fading light, she would show her mother some contrition. A gentle apologetic smile, a loving hug, an appreciative word. She would not apologize for who she was nor the passions that forged her, but she did regret the stress this caused her family. And, she thought with a gentle smile, she’d speak with Karine as well, make sure the true queen of these estates did not have reservations about Jess’s dalliance with her younger sister.

  Jess quietly slipped out of her young lover's quarters, making her way softly to her own, finally recalling where her mithril armaments and attire had been stored. It was almost with relief that she noted the absence of her mother and sister from their shared quarters, giving Johnathon a respectful nod, receiving a smart salute in return from the head of their little guard, and a look of no small admiration and gratitude even as he solemnly commended Jess for her work in saving all of them from a most terrible end. Jess smiled in pride and embarrassment in equal measure as she made her way past the guard's room to her own quarters, releasing her clothing chest's unbreakable seals with a gentle touch, the trunk opening easily to Jess's hands, and revealing her mithril armaments and daily attire as well.

  Opting for comfort over fashion, knowing her sense of style was hopeless without her sister's bemused guidance when she even cared to impress in fashion minded circles, which was almost never, Jess quickly donned her standard Highrock uniform; leather leggings, silken doublet and vest allowing for full maneuverability and comfort at once, her mithril hauberk donned over her attire. No need for pretense, all knew who she was and what she was at this point. Her armaments she would wear openly. Blade now strapped comfortably to her side, she found a servant waiting for her as she left her quarters.

  Hair carefully braided, the servant graced Jess with an elegant curtsy, her smile both formal and warm. Jess thought her rich brown eyes were probably her best feature, beautiful as she was, for all that Jess's heart swelled for the caress of Onnika's smile once more. Jess gave her a nod of acknowledgment, and the servant indicated that Jess should follow her, both commanding and deferential all at once. No doubt a chief servitor of Karine's, Jess surmised. Indeed, it was to Karine's study that Jess was led to, and with a second graceful curtsy, the serving woman opened the door with the ring of a small silver bell she held to her side, gently bidding Jess to precede her inside.

  Bemused, Jess stepped through the doorway to encounter a warmly smiling Karine who stood up from her finely polished hardwood table covered with various documents and scraps of parchment, dipping her head at Jess's entrance as if to an equal held in the highest esteem. Considering Karine’s status as a true queen of her demesne, she was paying Jess a considerable honor. Jess grinned and honored her with a deep bow. Formality dispensed with, Karine gripped Jess’s hand and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

  “Once again you have my heartfelt gratitude, my champion. The Turnsbys will ever be at your service, should you have need of us.”

  Jess smiled. “I’m just glad Malek and I could be there for you and Onnika, and do whatever it is we did to keep this land safe.” She hadn't memorized the bard's florid accounts, so was still fuzzy on the details.

  Karine nodded. "I know. And still, you ask for no bounty from me. As I knew you wouldn't. Truly, beloved Jessica, your compassion and virtue are apparent to anyone who can recognize the hallmarks of a true paladin."

  “Um, not entirely virtuous,” Jess conceded ruefully, feeling her face grow warm.

  Karine quirked a bemused smile. “And what noble knight does not fall fo
r the damsel she saves from certain death? No, dear Jess. I begrudge neither you nor Onnika the warmth you’ve found in each other’s arms. We all have a right to solace as well as love, and dare I be so candid, a female pillow friend has far less repercussions than a male lover in regards to the weary games of politics I fear all but a lucky few of us must play, if we are to survive during these trying times.”

  Jess sighed and nodded. “I do understand, Karine. Mother has drilled it into our skulls often enough, not that such sentiments held a lick of weight in Highrock. Still, I hope Onnika will have the freedom to choose the man who touches her heart, and begrudges her not the trials she has endured.”

  Karine nodded her agreement and Jess felt her heart lighten. Indeed, Jess had no doubt that Karine would be sympathetic towards Onnika’s desire to marry for the sake of love to a degree that Lady Turnsby would never have been concerned with, had she not fallen from grace, having committed the most egregious of errors, her enslavement to poppy extract having placed her very lands in peril. Odd, Jess thought, how clearly she remembered that awful scene, even as so very much else was just a broken swirl of impressions laced with fury, terror, and wonder.

  Jess shivered, struck by a sudden image of laughing beside Malek, feeling as if they were titans striding the land. It was a rapture and potency she found herself hungering for, even now.

  “Jess, are you all right?”

  Jess force herself to smile into those gentle, beautiful eyes, so like her sister's. “I am, Karine. I'm just glad to know that Onnika is safe, back home with family who loves her.”