Until Tia

by K. L. Humphreys

"Tia..." November says, her tears falling down her face but I shake my head. I don't want to hear excuses right now. "I just wanted to see that he was who he said."

  "Baby?" Asher's deep rumble sounds as he moves closer to November, "What's wrong?"

  "She's pissed that we had Nico do the background on Christopher," she tells him. He sighs and picks November off the chair before taking her place and holding November on his lap. "She's not spoken since I've said it."

  Asher glances at me and I see the worry reflected in his eyes. "T, after what that fucking bastard did, we wanted to ensure that you were safe."

  I can't help the sarcastic retort that comes out of my mouth. "Oh, because I've got such bad judgement when it comes to guys?"

  He winces at my words and November gasps. "No," she implores, "that wasn't it at all. We just wanted to make sure that he was a good guy."

  "Because I can't decide that for myself?" I'm overreacting, I know I am, I just hate that they invaded Chris' privacy. "I mean, just because my ex was an asshole it doesn't mean that every guy I date is going to be?"

  Asher's jaw clenches. "Tia, that ain't why we did it and you know it."

  "How would you have felt if I had a background check done on Asher? After everything you went through here in New York, especially with your ex and your mom?"

  Her eyes flash with anger.

  "Not so great is it? I'm a big girl, just because I was in a relationship where I was abused does not mean that I am weak. I'm capable of finding someone I love by myself."

  Gabby reaches for my hand once again. "T, calm down and realize they didn't mean to hurt you, they were looking out for you." Her words are just a whisper, but I know that we all hear them.

  "I'm not sorry for doing it. I'd do it every fucking day if I needed to. You're family, Tia, you mean a fuck of a lot to us all and we all just want you to be safe and happy," Asher tells me, his voice soft and I hate when he uses that tone, I can't stay mad at him.

  The fight leaves me as my shoulders slump forward. I just nod. Gabby's right, they just want what's best for me. I hate that they've invaded Christopher's privacy, but I love them for making sure that I'm safe.

  "We have a problem," Gabby announces.

  "No, Gabs, don't..." I plead with her.

  "What?" Asher growls, fully alert.

  "Tia's been receiving calls. It was just heavy breathing, until I answered it today. Whoever was on the other end, only said one word. 'Mine.' While Tia and I believe it's Jamie, Christopher thinks it's his ex."

  Asher's eyes have darkened with rage. "Your ass is on the next flight here," he demands.

  I shake my head, "We had this discussion when I was in the hospital, Ash, I won't bring my shit to your door. Especially with November being pregnant."

  He glares at me. "I want you here, T. We'll make sure you’re safe."

  "Asher, I love you, but I'm not leaving. I'll be fine." I try to assure him.

  November's crying, the tears slowly falling down her face as she leans forward. "Please, Tia," she pleads.

  My heart hurts right now. I'm so torn. As much as I'd love to fly to Tennessee and be with November, Asher, and July, I don't want to be without Marcus and Chris. The thought of not seeing them has me breaking out in a cold sweat.

  "Let her think on it, she's got work to think about," Gabby says and I give her a grateful smile.

  Asher grunts, "It's not like he's going to say no. I mean he's getting his benefits elsewhere."

  November gasps, "Asher!"

  He looks at her, not even the slightest bit affronted. "What, tell me I'm wrong?"

  November shakes her head. "So what if they're doing the horizontal mambo, you don't need to say it."

  "We're not..." I input before they start bickering.

  November's eyes widen as she looks at me. "You haven't had sex yet?"

  Heat rises in my cheeks. Fuck. I hate talking about my sex life or lack of. "No, we haven't. I told you, he's amazing and he's been really patient with me."

  Asher nods, respect written all over his features. "Talk to him, tell him I want to talk to him."

  I gape at him, he can't be serious. I open my mouth to protest but he holds up a hand to silence me.

  "Tia, please."

  Fuck. I can't say no to him.

  "Fine, I'll tell him," I sigh.

  "T, I'll call you soon," November says. "Love you, please be safe."

  I blow them a kiss, "Always. Talk to you soon."

  I sink back into the sofa once the screen goes blank. I’m glad that I've spoken to them, I've missed them like crazy. My life has changed so much in the past three years and yet most days I feel as though it hasn't. I'm still not free of Jamie and until I am, I don't think I'll ever truly live without fear and that's just the sad truth.

  "Hungry?" Gabby asks.

  "I love you," I blurt out. "There's nothing I can do to ever repay everything that you've done for me. I'm not just talking about the apartment and letting me stay here rent free. Without you, I'd have hit rock bottom without a way to claw back from it. You're my rock, Gabs."

  She gives me a watery smile. "Love you too, T. You'd have done the same for me and I know if I ever need you, you'll be here."

  There's a knock at the door and I frown, we're not expecting anyone. She gets to her feet. "It could be Zeke," she says but there's a question in her voice. Why wouldn't he have let her know if he was coming over.

  She opens the door and I don't hear any talking, glancing toward her I frown deeper when I don't see anyone standing there. "Gabs, is everything okay?"

  "Tia, there's a letter here for you." She closes the door behind her and shows me the envelope.

  I get to my feet and reach for it. Chills race down my spine as I see the handwriting, one that I know only too well. My hands shake as I open it. My heart pounding so fast it's a wonder that I can't hear it.

  Christopher isn't yours. Stay away or there will be hell to pay.

  You think you'll be his mom? Just remember what happened the last time.

  Be a good girl. I'll see you soon.

  The tears fall thick and fast. God, why is he doing this?

  My heart aches when I read over the note once again. He's a bastard. There's no end to the pain that he causes me. He took so much from me. Including my child.

  I reach for my cell and instantly dial Christopher. I need him.

  16

  Christopher

  Fuck. I never thought I'd feel the fear again that I felt when I was on my way to get Marcus from Layla. It's the unknown. I'm not sure what I'm going to find when I get to Tia's apartment, just as I wasn't sure what I'd find when I arrived in London.

  Fifteen minutes. The longest fifteen minutes of my fucking life.

  "Daddy, is Tia okay?" Marcus asks from the back of the car. His voice is small and I hear the slight tremor in it.

  "She will be, bud, we're going to bring her home, yeah?"

  "Yeah," he replies, the tremor still there but his voice is a little louder.

  I pull into the parking lot of their apartment complex. I'm barely keeping a lid on my anger. Fucking Layla. She's caused Marcus enough pain to last him a lifetime, why the hell can't she just stay away?

  Within minutes we're standing outside the girls’ apartment waiting for them to open up. I glance down at Marcus and see his gaze is firmly on the door, he's as anxious as I am to get to Tia. The door opens and Gabby’s there, tear tracks on her face and puffy eyes still shining with unshed tears.

  "Is she okay?" I ask immediately, needing to see her for myself.

  She shakes her head. "No, I don't know what the letter means, but it's hurt her deeply. I've never seen her like this before."

  Marcus rushes past Gabby and I follow him with my gaze, he collides with Tia and the two of them hug. Tia buries her head into Marcus' as they cling to each other.

  "She loves him so much," Gabby whispers.

  I nod unable to tear my gaze away from the two most import
ant people in my life. "And he loves her. She may not have given birth to him, but he sees her as his mom."

  "She'd love that. If she was given a choice, she'd happily be his mom. It's not Layla," she tells me and that has my full attention, I turn to her and raise a brow. "The person that's been calling T, it's not Layla."

  "How can you be so sure?"

  "That's Tia's story to tell. It's taken her three years to open up fully and even then I don't think she's told me everything that asshole did to her. She's bottled everything inside. The thing about Tia is, she'll try and shield everyone from harm if she can. That includes not telling us about what happened."

  "Will she tell me?" I need her to open up to me. It's the last wall that stands between us and I'm dying to ram that motherfucker down, but it's her protection and I need for her to completely trust me before it can come down.

  "Yes. She's already told me that she will, I think it's why she told me something tonight that I hadn't known before." A sob breaks from her lips. "I hate that she's gone through so much alone."

  Movement sounds from beside us and we turn to see both Marcus and Tia standing hand in hand. Tia's face is pale and much like her sister’s, red and puffy from all the crying. My feet are moving toward her before I can even think. She starts to sob when I wrap my arms around her.

  "Marcus, have you had dinner yet?" Gabby asks and he glances at me with a grin on his face. "I'm ordering pizza, do you want some?"

  He nods, "Yes, please."

  "Excellent." Gabby claps her hands together, "While your dad and Tia talk, you'll hang with me and watch a movie and eat loads of junk food." She holds out her hand to him and he takes it. "I'm ordering us all food." She gives a pointed look at Tia, "I don't want any of your attitude, you've not eaten."

  "Yes, Mom..."

  Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Gabby pulls Marcus into the sitting room. "You two go on into T's room. You'll have privacy."

  I keep my arm around her as I walk toward Marcus. "You okay in here?" I ask quietly and Tia presses closer to me.

  He nods, his eyes glancing to the woman clutching me. "Yeah, Daddy, go look after Tia, I've got Gabby."

  Fuck. My boy. My throat closes up as I nod to him.

  "Tia, love you," he tells her and she sucks in a sharp breath. "Daddy will make it all okay."

  "I love you too, so much," she says as she tries to stop the tears from falling. "You and your dad have that in common."

  I kiss her head, "Come on, blue eyes." I let her lead me to her bedroom; as soon as we're inside I close the door and she pulls away from me. I clench my jaw hating that she's putting distance between us but I leave her be, for now.

  "Asher wants to talk to you," she whispers, keeping her head down as she stares at her bare feet. Her voice is hoarse and I wince. Fuck. She sounds as though she's been crying for hours. "He's worried about me, especially since Gabby let slip about the calls. He wants me to go to Tennessee."

  My heart clenches. Fuck. "What do you want?"

  She glances up at me and the sheer love that shines in those amazing blue eyes gives me hope. "I want you and Marcus. But I miss them and I know they want the best for me."

  She wants to go to Tennessee then we'll all go. "I'll call him."

  Her shoulders slump forward and her teeth capture her bottom lip. She's nervous.

  "Blue eyes, nothing you say to me is going to change how I feel about you. I fucking love you and if I didn't think it would scare you, I'd be down on one knee, proposing." Tears fill her eyes at my words. "Take your time and tell me everything."

  She nods and takes a steadying breath, once again her gaze drifts to her feet. "I was so stupid," she whispers, shame coating her words.

  I know that's far from true, she's not stupid and I doubt she ever was.

  "It started off good, I thought I was in love..." she shakes her head, "I know now that I wasn't. But Jamie, he was attentive and showed me affection. After not having it from my parents, I think I latched onto him." She wipes away a tear, still not lifting her head. "I can't pinpoint exactly when it started. He'd make catty remarks about everything. That I'd put on weight, that my clothes were too tight, or that I looked awful. Then he started to dictate what I should wear. He wore me down, I hated the way I looked." She scoffs, "I was thinner back then, and I physically couldn't look at myself. I realized pretty soon after I left him that it wasn't that I couldn't look at myself, I just didn't want to. I didn't want to see the defeat or brokenness in my eyes."

  My heart is pounding, all I want to do is track that motherfucker down and beat the ever loving shit out of him for making her feel that way. Tia is beautiful and I have no doubt she’s always been this way. Her beauty isn't just skin deep, inside and out, my woman is fucking perfection.

  "The violence started with a backhand. He cried, and said he was sorry. I believed him and forgave him. The violence just got worse until it was happening almost every day. He tried to make sure that my injuries weren't visible but sometimes he'd lose his mind and do something stupid. He broke my wrist, my ribs, he split my lip. He was an asshole, Chris. Such a fucking bastard. The last night he beat me was so bad that I ended up in the hospital. My neighbor heard my screams and called the cops. It was the last time I let him hurt me."

  I can't hold back any longer; I take the three steps until I'm at her side, pulling her into my arms where she belongs, "Talk to me, blue eyes, what aren't you telling me?" I can sense there's a fucking lot she's glossed over. She gave me the basics.

  She clings to me as she details every single fucking mark that asshole left on her. I bury it down deep, knowing that she needs me to be solid, to be the man she can turn to for comfort and protection.

  "I was pregnant." Her voice is oh so fucking soft that it hurts to hear it. "He finally got his wish. I never wanted a baby with him, to be born out of the violence that he inflicted on me. Made from hate and pain. I couldn't bring a baby into that world. But I got pregnant and I was planning on running."

  Her words hit me like a freight train. My stomach drops from the implications of her words. He raped her. There’s no mistaking her words. God, I want to throw up, to punch someone, to do something to stop this rage from bubbling over. But I don’t, I continue to hold the woman I love until she finishes telling me everything.

  "He found my bags packed. He was so angry. He threw me down the stairs and I lost the baby." Her body bucks with the force of her sobs.

  I can't bear to hear the pain in her sobs, her tears soaking my shirt. I lift her into my arms and walk to the bed, I sit, keeping her in my arms and rock her. "I'm so sorry, blue eyes."

  "I never told anyone about that until today," she cries, "I never wanted anyone to find out the truth about what Jamie did to me."

  "Does Gabby know that the bastard raped you?" She shudders at my words but shakes her head. "Oh, baby," I whisper as I pull her even closer to me. She's kept this all buried deep down and hasn't told a soul.

  As much as I'm fucking pleased that she's opened up to me, I'm not relishing in it. She's been through so much. I fully understand why she was so closed off.

  "Was it just the once?" I ask and she shakes her head. I silently curse. "Okay, baby, I'm not that fucker, I'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do. I don't give a fuck if I have to wait a decade or we never get there with sex. I fucking love you, Tia. You're the best woman I've ever met, and I'm fucking honored that you've trusted me with what you've been through. But, baby, you've got to know that knowing what you've been through and seeing how fucking strong you are, it's only made me love you all that much more."

  She raises her head from my chest and looks at me. Her eyes wide and wet, but so much fucking emotion swirling in those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. "I love you so much, Chris. You make me feel things I never thought I would again. I'm sorry for bringing this stress into your life."

  I cup her face, "Baby, without you, Marcus and I would be living our mundane lives alone. We both lov
e you very much."

  "Did you mean it? About marrying me?" Her voice hesitant as though she doesn't believe it.

  "I'd marry you in a heartbeat."

  Her eyes soften as she slumps forward, her mouth pressing against mine. I let her lead, it's soft, wet, and gentle. My cock starts to stir beneath her and I pull back, now isn't the time to get a fucking hard on.

  "Blue eyes, why do you think that it's Jamie that's been calling?"

  The soft look she had is long gone, her body is once again tense as though she's waiting for a low to hit her. "There's only five people who know about the pregnancy and two of them found out tonight." Her voice is once again just a whisper. "Jamie's brother is a doctor, whenever he went too far, he'd call his brother who'd tend to me. When I lost the baby, his brother came and told me as I was really early that I'd just pass the baby as a normal miscarriage, that I wouldn't need to go to the hospital."

  Fuck me.

  I want to kill this bastard with my bare hands.

  Make him feel a fifth of what he put Tia through.

  "I'm sorry for your loss, baby." I can't imagine the pain and suffering she's felt at the hands of this monster and the fact that he's still continuing to torture her just adds fuel to my ever burning rage toward him.

  "Thank you," she whispers. "Do you have any more questions?"

  "No, baby, I don't." My voice is just as gentle as hers.

  She nods, "Then I'm going to get cleaned up, we're going to go have some dinner, watch the rest of the movie with Gabby and Marcus, and then we're going home."

  I raise a brow, "Home?"

  She nods, "Home, to your house."

  Fuck yes. Home.

  "Okay, baby, you give me Asher's number. I'll call him while you're getting cleaned up." I kiss her lips, needing to taste her, to remind myself that she's okay, that she's here, and to let her know that she's loved.

  She rattles off the number and I enter it into my cell phone. I watch as she leaves her room, her steps strong and steady. All I can do is stare at her in awe. How the hell is she still standing? To freely give love. Fuck, the way she is with Marcus... I shake my head not going there, not letting myself think about the suffering she's been through, losing the baby. Fuck.