Pumpkin Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 14)

by Kennedy Layne

  The exceptional piece of furniture even had an enchanted storage area for the family grimoire, protecting generations upon generations of collected incantations.

  A knock at the door had me startling right off the couch.

  “Darn it,” I muttered once I realized that I’d just wasted another five minutes. That was three more than I’d intended to doze off. “Come in!”

  I sat back down to quickly put on my leather boots, knowing for certain that it wasn’t Heidi standing on the other side of the door.

  She was always welcome here, and she always just came right on in.

  “Good morning, Miss Raven.”

  “Good morning, Ted,” I replied with a smile, zipping up my left boot. “How are you this morning?”

  Ted, our resident wax golem.

  Where did I even start?

  Maybe by sending him back to his Ted-Shed. I still have a few minutes to get my beauty sleep, Raven. The swelling of my eye finally receded, and I’d like to keep it that way.

  You see, Nan had utilized a necromancy spell on a wax figure from the wax museum here in town.

  That’s right—a wax museum.

  The eccentric tourist spot was a throwback to the time of roadside attractions. I still haven’t quite figured out why someone would choose to put something so boardwalk era’ish in such a small coastal town in Connecticut.

  Anyway, Nan had wanted a companion who could gather all the unusual spell components and ingredients needed for rare incantations. She’d been lonely, and she’d thought that she and Leo would benefit from having someone else in their lives who understood the supernatural realm.

  My beloved Rosemary was as close to perfection as possible, but even she had a weak moment or two.

  “I’m good, Miss Raven.”

  It’s important to note that Ted had what one might consider stilted speech.

  Being a golem, it was expected.

  With that said, Ted had originally been molded from the fictional character of Lurch from hit television show The Addams Family. He was overly tall, had yellowish blond hair, and even had the squarish head of the original actor. His penchant for dressing in suits styled right out of the late 1800s was a hit with the residents of town, as well as his impeccable manners of an old-world English gentleman.

  You might want to mention that he lives in the shed out back with his plastic bride.

  Leo made it sound as if Ted’s home was nothing but a shack, but I’d caught glimpses of the interior’s extra-dimensional space. Let me just state that it was a very magical place that stretched on and on with secret underground warrens that ran in every direction. It also had a peaceful aura that I knew very well Leo sometimes escaped to when he thought I was going to ask him to do something that he didn’t want to do.

  I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s a tiny shed. A Ted-Shed.

  “Did you hear about the prized pumpkin being stolen right out of the bed of Virgil Stellhorn’s truck?” I asked, always being able to count on Ted to help out with mysteries without complaint.

  That’s what you think, but the poker table is a place to let it all hang out, Raven. Ted’s speech gets rather verbose after a drink or two of Harry’s moonshine, you know.

  “I did.”

  A quick glance at the clock revealed that I now only had around ten minutes to drive to the teashop. Ted had a tendency to only answer what was asked, never offering anything beyond that. It probably had something to do with the fact that he used to be an inanimate object, but I’d never really looked into it.

  I have to admit that the walking, talking, laughing plastic redhead who he managed to have animated as his companion does come in handy during these chats.

  “Leo, go eat your breakfast,” I directed, casting a glare at him over my shoulder. He was still in his pirate costume, having refused to let me take it off of him last night. It wasn’t that he didn’t have a point about the veil between us and the afterlife being thinner during this time of year, but the chances of any spirit attempting to use a feline’s body as a host was about as low as me being able to do two things at once. “I just opened a brand-new can of the small chicken cuts slathered in gravy.”

  Leo could wolf down his meal in under thirty seconds, so I wasn’t worried about corralling him out the door relatively soon. My problem was getting Ted to get to the point of his visit before noon.

  As for the walking, talking, laughing plastic redhead that Leo had mentioned…well, let’s just say that the local druid, Agnus, had decided that she would benefit from having a companion in her old age.

  Personally, I believe she stole Nan’s idea of having a golem around to gather spell components. It had helped that Ted had put a bug in her ear about wanting a companion of his own.

  Justine and Ted were now practically inseparable, unless the plastic golem was needed elsewhere to run errands for Agnus. The two golems had a tendency to finish each other’s sentences, and their odd harmony made conversations a bit easier.

  Unfortunately, Justine’s absence meant that I’d had to muddle through the next few minutes dependent on my own devices.

  “Are you here because of the missing pumpkin?” I asked, deciding to venture ahead and garner his help for the day. “I could really use your assistance. Would you be willing to go over to Agnus’ residence and ask her if she knows anything about last night’s events? We have reason to believe it might not be an ordinary theft.”

  “I will do that for you this morning, Miss Raven.”

  Ted cracked one of his smiles, which came off as a bit eerie to those who didn’t know him. He had a few teeth that were quite yellow and chipped at all odd angles. Even so, his grin always made me return his.

  “Is that why you came by?” I asked, standing from the couch and smoothing out my skirt. “I didn’t see you or Justine at the festival last night.”

  “We had a special dinner to celebrate our one-month anniversary.”

  I’m one bite away from regurgitating my breakfast, Raven. I can’t handle the vision of those two making Weeble Woobles. Now I’m going to have that irritating tune in my head for the rest of the day.

  “Congratulations, Ted,” I said sincerely, really happy that he was now able to spend his time with someone who loved him as much as he loved her. I still hadn’t gotten to the reason of his visit, though. “Did you need something this morning?”

  “Would you co-sign a car loan for me?”

  I fully admitted to being accident-prone on several occasions, but I can say with certainty that my missed step to the kitchen had been completely due to my being dumbfounded by Ted’s unorthodox question. It was a good thing that I’d been close enough to the stool to catch my fall.

  From the sound of Leo’s somewhat labored breathing, he seemed to still be choking on his breakfast.

  “Ted, you don’t drive,” I reminded him as I snagged my coffee off the counter. I definitely needed a shot of caffeine right now. “Why would you want a car?”

  “I’ve been studying for my permit, Miss Raven.”

  I’m still asleep, right? This can’t be reality, because I don’t think anywhere in the magical handbook that I received stated that golems should drive a four or five-thousand-pound piece of machinery down the road.

  Ted was continuously learning as a golem, and he’d come a very long way in blending in with society without them suspecting a thing about him being anything but an everyday, regular human being. The townsfolk found his quirks endearing, and they’d accepted him as one of their own.

  Driving, though?

  Honestly, that thought had never before crossed my mind.

  If Crayola head drives like he talks, no one is going to be safe on the streets of Paramour Bay.

  Leo had a point, but Ted’s cautious manner might actually make him the best driver in town and the surrounding areas.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” I proposed after taking a vital gulp of coffee. “I’ll co-sign a loan for you if you pa
ss not only your permit test, but also your driver’s exam.”

  Nan had made sure that Ted had never wanted for anything, but she’d also been very careful to make sure that he had a separate income from the teashop. He was listed as an employee. It was all legal and on the up-and-up, especially since he was the one who collected the components needed for my so-called holistic blends.

  With that said, I could see why a car dealership would want a co-signer on the loan.

  “Very well, Miss Raven,” Ted replied with another grin. One wouldn’t even know that he was excited about my compromise, but I could see his enthusiasm with the way he brought the heels of his dress shoes together and was able to so quickly form his next string of words. “My Justine has been helping me study.”

  Heidi burst into the cottage before I could tell Ted how proud I was of him. She was dressed comfortably in a pair of brown jeans, cream sweater, and a copper-shaded scarf to give the outfit a final touch of fall color. She wasn’t in her usual business suit, seeing at it was Saturday morning and didn’t have to work.

  “I know, I know,” Heidi declared as she tossed her purse over top the back of the couch as she headed straight for her coffee mug, which was still sitting on the kitchen island. It was a good thing that I was no longer sitting where her purse had landed. “I’m late. Sorry about that. The intersection to River Bay was packed, so I had to roll down my window and ask Eugene and Albert what was happening.”

  Heidi stopped talking long enough to take a sip of what was now lukewarm coffee. She didn’t seem to mind as she closed her eyes and moaned with pleasure. She finally opened her baby blues and flashed all of us a smile.

  “Good morning, everyone,” Heidi greeted, taking the time to kneel down and pat Leo on the head. He’d finished his breakfast in record time and was now cleaning the one side of his face that the eyepatch didn’t cover. “Ted, you’re looking dashing as ever.”

  “Good morning to you, Miss Heidi,” Ted replied, bowing slightly at the waist.

  “Heidi, why was there a crowd gathered at the intersection of the bakery?”

  “Oh, that,” Heidi said with a wave of her hand. She stood and took another drink of coffee before answering me. “I’m pretty sure it was started by Monty. He was able to get a group of concerned citizens together. They were all at the bakery stocking up on pastries before having one-on-one meetings at the mayor’s office. Apparently, they have all decided that having those video cameras installed that were supposedly in last year’s budget need to be put in pronto. Someone must have overheard Otis and Liam talking to the mayor about the fact that the security cameras hadn’t taken priority over some of the other upgrades around town, so they all decided to call Stella and book every available appointment in the mayor’s calendar.”

  “Liam has been trying to get those cameras installed for years,” I replied, glancing at the clock and realizing I was now down to seven minutes. “I have to open the shop, but will you make sure that you put the family grimoire back into its drawer when you’re done? Remember, you’re looking for an incantation that can be used on an inanimate object to locate another inanimate object.”

  “Got it,” Heidi replied with an affirmative nod. She frowned and tilted her head, as if something had just occurred to her. Leaning back down, she quickly snatched Leo’s eyepatch right off his head before he could paw at her. “Leo, why are you still wearing your costume? The swelling of your eye is completely gone.”

  You tell my reinstated soulmate that I’m not taking any chances with the veil between us and the afterlife being so thin. Besides, I’m digging this costume. The pirate vest gives the illusion that I have a smaller waist.

  “Leo is afraid of roaming spirits. He thinks the costume scares away poltergeists.”

  You’re using the wrong verb, Raven. Did you flunk English or something? I’m simply being cautious by wearing a costume to trick any roaming spirit who might have malicious intentions.

  I quickly grabbed my own travel mug of coffee and my tote bag before walking toward the door. There was still enough time for me to make it to the teashop by eight o’clock sharp.

  “Heidi, meet me at the teashop at noon for lunch,” I said, opening the front door. The chill of the air had me glad that I’d chosen a heavier sweater this morning.

  “I’ll see what kind of information I can find out about the missing pumpkin from my customers while you try and find a spell that we can use. Ted, don’t forget to ask Agnus about last night’s theft. And Leo? You’re with me.”

  Where else would I be headed? I’m going to need a morning nap and some blueberry-filled edibles before confronting my not-so-perfect mate about her supposed whereabouts last night. Speaking of questioning suspects, we really need to see if we can exchange this pirate outfit for a detective one…with a magnifying glass. I should inspect that black hair at the crime scene a little more before confronting our lead suspect about fraternizing with the enemy.

  Chapter Five

  “…don’t know how it all happened without Virgil and Beau knowing,” Candy said as she set her purchases down on the counter. “I mean, they both say that the tailgate was closed when they got out of their truck. Maybe they had the radio on loud when someone took the pumpkin. If it weighed a hundred and eighty some pounds, a large man would have been able to carry the pumpkin a short distance to another vehicle, but he would have broken a sweat doing so.”

  Candy owned the local salon, and she was known to change her hair color pretty much every six weeks on the dot. She was into the autumn colors right now and currently had a mixture of dark reds and subtle oranges that somehow blended together rather nicely. I was impressed with how nice her hair looked, not that I had any desire to dye my hair.

  I had the same dominate genes as my mother and great-aunt. We all had long, jet black hair, emerald green eyes, and porcelain skin. The only thing that I could have done without were the hips, but I guess one couldn’t be too choosy.

  “Liam stopped by the teashop this morning,” I said as I rang up her purchase. I never shared any details about Liam’s cases unless they were already publicly known. Technically, that was pretty much everything in this town, but there had been some exceptions in the past. “He was going to take a drive out to the Stellhorn’s pumpkin patch this morning. It’s a long shot, but he was thinking that maybe the prized pumpkin was taken out of the bed of their truck before they ever made the trip into town yesterday.”

  “I never thought of that,” Candy said in wonder, nodding her head in approval. “Liam has a point. I mean, I heard that the pumpkin patch is doing amazing this holiday, especially compared to the last few years. They’ve had quite the crowd out their way, so it stands to reason that someone might have removed it before they ever left to deliver the pumpkin. Maybe someone thought it was for sale, and they removed it from the bed of the truck.”

  I waited for Leo to say something snarky about the sheriff’s position, but then I remembered that he’d gone to pay a visit to Aphrodite. I wasn’t concerned in the least that the Maine Coon had anything to do with the theft of the festival’s main event.

  After all, Aphrodite didn’t have a supernatural whisker on her pretty face.

  “There you go,” I said, handing Candy the old-fashioned, brown paper bag that contained her purchases. I’d had them made up with the teashop’s logo in red ink on the front. I’d even punched a hole in them and used some orange ribbon in celebration of All Hallows’ Eve to seal the deal. “Enjoy the Pumpkin Crème tea. It’s my favorite flavor this year, and it’s been flying off the shelves. I didn’t think it would sell this fast, so I’m going to place another order first thing on Monday morning to replenish my inventory.”

  “Seeing as you get the inside scoop, let me know if Liam catches the person who stole that pumpkin,” Candy requested with a wink. “I’m off to hit the scarf section at the boutique. You have a good weekend!”

  I took a seat on the stool and leaned forward to rest my elbows
on the check-out counter. This morning had been quite busy, and I’d been able to ask quite a lot of townsfolk about what they’d seen or heard about last night’s commotion.

  They all said basically the same thing—no one saw anything.

  Well, with the exception of Gertie.

  It did make me wonder if the stolen pumpkin had something to do with one of the supernatural beings in our little community. An object didn’t just disappear into thin air, and I highly doubted that Gertie had been completely mistaken about such an odd apparition.

  Or had she fallen victim to a hallucination? If she had misinterpreted what she’d seen, it might simply have been due to a trick of the light.

  Heidi had texted me on and off throughout the morning. She hadn’t been able to find any type of spell in the family grimoire to help us in this situation. I bet my mother would have been able to fashion some makeshift incantation, but I wasn’t about to bother her while she and Beetle were enjoying the sights and sounds of Transylvania unless it was a life and death situation.

  A missing jack-o-lantern didn’t constitute such an emergency in my mind.

  I was still waiting on Ted to make an appearance, figuring that he would have paid Agnus a visit by now. Not that I would boost Leo’s ego any more than it already was, but he did have a valid point about the veil between us and the afterlife being quite thin this time of year with the fall equinox having waded exactly one month ago and the advent of All Hallows’ Eve prior to All Saints Day.

  Did I just hear you say that I was right? My other eye might be swelling shut, but my ears work just fine. By the way, we need to find out if that old geezer has homeowner’s insurance. He’s clearly not keeping up the interior of his house to the standard of a reputable policy. I’m not the suing type, but something might need to be done in order to keep the citizens of Paramour Bay safe from that firetrap.

  It was a good thing that I’d been leaning on the counter, because I would have easily topped over the stool at Leo’s sudden appearance. He’d materialized right in front of me. How he could even see was beyond my comprehension.