by Kevin Brooks
My mother didnt move. She just stood there, staring at the big male, silently telling him what to do. He stared back at her, concentrating intently, and a moment later he turned away, glanced at the pack, and they all took off into the darkness.
The bootsteps were closing fast now.
I knew my mother wouldnt leave until she knew I was safe, and I knew there was no point in trying to tell her otherwise, so I just crouched there, watching and waiting as Chola Se crawled through the gap, wriggling and twisting through the roots, and as soon as her feet had disappeared inside the hollow trunk, I scrambled after her – burrowing into the gap and squeezing my way through the roots as fast as I possibly could. I was about halfway through when I suddenly became stuck – unable to move either forwards or back, no matter how hard I tried – and at first I couldnt work out what was stopping me. It felt as if I was caught up on something, but I wasnt wearing any clothes---there was nothing to get caught up. But then I remembered the green canvas bag on my back, the bag with the detonators in---it must have got stuck. The strap must have snagged on a broken root or something. I tried reaching round to unhook it, but I was stuck in the narrowest part of the gap, squeezed inbetween 2 thick roots, and I couldnt twist round far enough to get hold of anything.
I felt Chola Se taking hold of me then, gripping me firmly by the arms, and when I looked round I saw that shede managed to wriggle round inside the trunk so that she was sitting on the ground, facing towards me.
Push yourself as hard as you can, Jeet, she said. And Ile pull you, okay?
She tightened her grip on my arms, and as I dug my feet in and shoved with all my strength, she leaned back and pulled. For a second or 2, nothing happened – I was still stuck fast – and however hard we pushed and pulled, I couldnt break free. But then all at once – as Chola Se braced her feet against the trunk and yanked even harder – there was a sudden dull snap, like the solid crack of breaking rock, and I went flying through the gap into the base of the hollowed-out trunk, sprawling face down on the ground.
There was very little room in there, and the easiest way for both of us to fit in was by standing up straight, which Chola Se did as soon as I was safely inside. I was just getting ready to join her – removing the canvas bag from my back so it didnt get in the way – when I heard a strangely familiar sound coming from outside the trunk. It was the soft rhythmic sound of a lapping tongue. I knew it was my mother – I know every sound she makes – but I couldnt understand what she was doing.
What is it, Jeet? I heard Chola Se ask. Whats going on?
Just a second, I told her, shuffling over to the gap in the roots.
When I looked out through the gap and saw my mother licking the glassrock around the base of the trunk, it still took me a moment or 2 to work out what she was doing. I could see her well enough in the starlit darkness – or at least well enough to see what she was doing – but the glassrock itself was just a blur of black, and it wasnt until Ide got to my knees and moved closer to the gap that the realization suddenly hit me.
I still couldnt see what it was that my mother was licking from the ground.
I just knew.
It was blood.
My blood.
I hadnt stopped bleeding since the Dau guard had stabbed me – I could feel blood trickling down my leg right now – and what Ide just realized was that as well as leaving a trail of blood all the way from the Dau encampment, I must also have left at least a few more spots, if not more, between the gully and the tree trunk. So when the Dau got here – and theyd be here any second – my bloodtrail would lead them directly to our hiding place.
Which was why my mother was getting rid of it.
Shede cleared the area around the trunk now, and as she began backing away from it, licking up every spot of blood she could find, I couldnt help smiling to myself at her thoroughness. I shouldnt have been surprised really. I should have known shede think of everything. She always did. Thats why shede lived so long – she wasnt just knowing and strong, she was wise. She used her mind to survive.
The Dau were so close now that I could feel the stomp of their boots through the ground, and as I carried on watching my mother – silently urging her to hurry up and leave before the Fighters arrived – I saw her do something even more amazing. Shede finished clearing up my blood now and was just standing there, looking around and sniffing, making sure she hadnt missed any drops. Satisfied that she hadnt, she raised her head, pricked up her ears, and listened to the approaching Dau for a moment, and then – to my astonishment – she sat down and lowered her head to her underbelly, as if she was going to lick herself clean. But instead of licking herself, she bit herself. It wasnt a hard bite, just a quick nip with her front teeth, but it was enough to cut into the soft skin of her belly and draw blood. She sat there for a moment longer, watching as the blood began to run, then she stood up, waited for the blood to start dripping to the ground, then calmly loped off into the darkness.
She wasnt just wise. She was a genius.
Shede not only cleared away the trail of blood leading to the trunk, she was now laying down a new trail of blood for the Dau to follow, leading them away from the trunk and out into the Deathlands.
And shede done it just in time.
As Chola Se took my hand and helped me to stand up straight, we heard the Dau Fighters stomping along the gully outside – heavy bootsteps, the rattle of gunbelts, the dull clank of cold metal. We froze, holding our breath and listening hard as the bootsteps passed by, and then almost immediately they began to slow down, and within a few moments the Fighters had come to a halt. They were no more than 15 feet away.
Looks like they stopped here, one of them said, breathing heavily.
Whered they go?
Over there, look---theres more blood on top of the bank.
They must have left the gully.
Theyre heading into the mountains.
All right, lets go. They cant be that far ahead of us now.
We heard them clambering up the bank, onto the glassrock, and then they were off again – their boots clattering on the hard rock as they headed off into the Deathlands, following the trail of blood my mother had left for them.
We stayed where we were – not moving, not breathing, not making a sound---just listening to the Fighters as they clattered off into the distance – until eventually, after 2 or 3 minutes, we couldnt hear them anymore. And then, at last, we both breathed out.
We were safe.
At least for a while.
Safe and together.
We were very much together – standing up straight, our backs against the trunk, our faces just a few inches apart. But even at that distance we could barely see each other. The top of the trunk was blocked up with something – a birds nest maybe, or just debris built up over the years – so there was virtually no light in there at all, but we didnt have to see each other to be aware of each other. We could feel each others breath, smell each others naked bodies, sense each others every movement.
That was your dogmother, wasnt it? Chola Se said quietly.
I nodded. I didnt have to ask her how she knew. She was a dogchild. She would have known the moment shede seen us together.
What was she doing just now when you were watching her? she asked.
I told her how my mother had cleaned up my blood and laid a false trail for the Dau to follow.
Thats why the Fighters left the gully and ran off towards the mountains, I explained. They were following my mother.
How long do you think theyle keep following her?
It wont just be her theyre following. The rest of the pack will have been waiting for her somewhere out in the Deathlands. Once shese joined up with them, theyle probably keep heading for the mountains for a while, but at some point theyle veer round towards town to make the Dau think theyre taking us back. Theyle keep going at a fairly slow pace as well.
As if weare still holding them up, Chola Se said.
Yeh, but th
ey wont let the Dau get too close, because once theyve gone far enough to convince the Fighters theyre taking us back to town, theyle turn back again, pick up speed, and head off to the mountains.
And then the Dau will give up and go back to their camp.
Yeh.
So wele have to stay here til then.
It probably wont be too long. A couple of hours maybe.
What if they go back another way? We wont know theyve gone back unless they pass us, will we?
I hadnt thought of that. There was no reason the Fighters had to come past us on their way back, and depending on where they started from – which could be almost anywhere – it was quite possible they wouldnt come anywhere near us. And on top of that, I realized, I didnt actually know where we were anyway.
Wele give it til just before sunrise, I said, trying to sound more confident than I was. If they havent passed us by then, wele leave anyway.
Okay.
I heard her sigh then, and as her breath brushed my skin I could feel the depth of her exhaustion. I wanted to ask her how she was, or to at least try to do something to comfort her, but after the horrors shede been through it seemed utterly meaningless to ask her how she was, and I didnt have the faintest idea how to comfort her. Ide never comforted anyone in my life. Ide never had to. I didnt have a clue how to do it.
Ide better fix your leg, she said matter-of-factly. If it carries on bleeding, youle be dead before sunrise.
As she began lowering herself – bending her knees to one side and sliding down – the broken chains on her manacles rattled against the trunk.
It took her a while to get into a position where she could work on the wound without being too uncomfortable, but once shede found it – kneeling on the ground in front of me, with a knee on either side of my legs – she didnt waste any time. After quickly but carefully locating the stab wound, she unsheathed my knife from the cloth wrapping on my left leg, passed the knife to me, then loosened the wrapping and tore off a short strip of cloth. She licked the cloth to moisten it, then set to work wiping away the worst of the blood and dirt from the wound. Once shede got it as clean as she could, she put the cloth down, made a slight adjustment to her position, and began examining the punctured flesh.
The initial lack of pain when the guard had stabbed me was hard to remember now – every time Chola Se touched the open wound it felt like a red-hot knife slicing into my leg. She did her best to be careful, but she was working blind, relying on touch alone, so the only way she could assess the damage was by probing the wound with her fingers. I tried not to show any pain, but no matter how careful she was, I couldnt help gasping every now and then.
Sorry, she said, but I cant help it. Its going to hurt.
Its okay, just do whatever you have to. Can you tell how bad it is?
Its quite deep, and its going to need a lot of stitches, but I dont think the bleedings coming from an artery. Hold still, Ime going to clean it up inside now.
She gently took hold of my wounded leg in both hands, leaned forward, and began licking at the open cut. To anyone else but a dogchild this would probably seem quite strange, but to us it was perfectly natural. Wede grown up having our wounds licked clean, and wede learned to do the same for others. It was the only way we knew, the only way we had.
Right, she said after a while, I think that should do it. The bleedings nearly stopped now. Is it all right if I use the rest of this cloth for a bandage?
Yeh.
She tore off another strip, wadded it up into a compress, and placed it over the knife cut.
Hold that there for me, she said. And keep it pressed down.
While I did as she asked, she unwound the rest of the cloth from my left leg, then started bandaging the wound. She worked calmly and methodically, carefully winding the cloth round my leg, constantly checking to make sure it wasnt too tight, but that it was tight enough to keep the compress in place.
Youre obviously not going to tell me, are you? she said after a while, rewinding a loop of cloth that had become twisted.
Tell you what?
Why youre not wearing any clothes.
I hadnt actually forgotten I was naked, it was just that with everything that had been going on, and the fact that Chola Se was naked too, Ide just kind of got used to it. But now, as she tied off the bandage and slowly straightened up, I suddenly realized how odd it must seem to her. I also realized – as her body momentarily brushed against me – that now shede made me aware of my nakedness, Ide begun to feel awkward and embarrassed about it. And as I began telling her the whole story – the mission to steal the detonators, the way Ide used the dogs to help me, and why Ide decided not to wear any clothes – I was only too glad to have something to take my mind off the confusing and unsettling feelings that were rising up inside me---feelings that I neither wanted nor understood.
By the time Ide told her everything though, up to the point when Ide entered the underground chamber, the feelings had all but gone.
So Gun Sur didnt tell you to find me and bring me back? Chola Se said when Ide finished.
No, I admitted. My orders were just to get the detonators.
He wont be expecting me to come back with you then.
Not unless he guessed what I was going to do.
Do you think he did?
I dont know. You know what hese like – its hard to tell what hese really thinking.
What about Pilgrim?
Pilgrim? What about him?
Did he know what you were doing?
He knows I went after the detonators.
Are you sure?
Yeh. He was in Gun Surs office when we were talking about it. Why do you —?
So he definitely knew you were going to break into the Dau camp and go after the detonators?
Yeh.
Chola Se went quiet, and I could tell from the tremor in her breathing that something was wrong. I could sense it in everything about her – the tension in her body, the slight tremble of her skin, the fear and anger in the scent of her sweat---
Why are you asking me about Pilgrim? I asked quietly.
He was there.
Where?
With the Dau.
What do you mean?
He was with the Dau, in their camp.
How do you know?
Because he was the first one, the one they kept me for---
I waited for her to go on, but all I could hear was the sound of her breathing – fast and shallow, shaking with emotion – and for a moment or 2 I had no understanding at all. What did Pilgrim have to do with any of this? And what did she mean by the first one---the one they kept me for? It didnt make any sense. But then all at once something shifted inside my head – like the sudden lifting of a cloud – and with a terrible feeling of dread, it began to dawn on me what she was saying.
What did he do to you, Chola? I said quietly. What did Pilgrim do?
He raped me. He beat me up, held a knife to my throat, and raped me.
I didnt know what to say. I just couldnt think of the right words---I didnt know if there were any right words.
Ime so sorry, I muttered. Ime just---I dont know---
They dressed me up for him, she said, her voice cold and empty. There was this woman---a big fat woman---she came down into the cell after one of the Dau tried to take me. She was all smiles and niceness at first, telling me how pretty Ide look if I brushed my hair and put on a dress---but she wasnt so nice anymore when I told her what she could do with her stinking dress. I didnt think I had anything to worry about at first. She was just a fat old woman. Even with my hands chained up, I was sure I could deal with her. But she moved so fast, Jeet---I couldnt believe it. She had me down on the ground before I knew what was happening. And she was so strong, and so incredibly heavy---I just couldnt do anything to stop her. She hit me so hard I didnt know where I was, and by the time Ide come to my senses shede forced me into that damned dress and ripped half my hair out with the hairbrush. And before she lef
t, she told me that if I wasnt wearing the dress when my special visitor arrived – thats what she called him---my special visitor – shede come down here when hede finished with me and rip out my heart with her bare hands.
And the special visitor was Pilgrim?
Yeh.
He didnt try to hide his face or anything?
No. He wanted me to know who he was.
She didnt say anything for a few seconds, and I heard her breathing in deeply through her nose, holding it for a moment, then letting out a pained sigh.
I thought I could handle him, Jeet, she said, shaking her head at the memory. He was so drunk he could hardly stand up---I really thought I could fight him off. And I did for a while. I waited for him to come at me, and then I just threw myself at him – clawing, kicking, biting, screaming---he didnt know what had hit him. He was all over the place – stumbling around, trying to stay on his feet, trying to get away from me---and then, I dont know---I dont know if he tripped and fell over, or if I pushed him---all I remember is seeing him on the ground, lying on his back, and then I was on him---sinking my teeth into his face and tearing out a big chunk of flesh---
I sensed a brief smile from her then. But it quickly faded.
And that was it, she said emptily. He just kind of exploded then – like something inside him had suddenly erupted – and before I knew it, hede thrown me off him and was battering me to a pulp – punching me, kicking me, flinging me around the room---and then he got me down on the floor and started smashing my head into the ground---and I think I must have blacked out---
She shrugged.
And that was it---he had me.
She went quiet again, and although there were so many things I wanted to say to her, I stayed silent too. I tried to distract myself by focusing on the practical questions – why was Pilgrim there, and what was he doing with the Dau? – but my head was bursting with so many uncontrollable feelings that I could barely think at all, let alone focus on anything.
Do you know who took you and the babies that night? I asked quietly.
Babies?
The twins. Whoever abducted you took the twins as well. And they killed Aliaj and Berch.
