by Angela Peach
A Darker Kind Of Love
By Angela Peach
Copyright 2016 Angela Peach
All rights reserved. This novel or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the author. All characters are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
(Except for Danny who is totally based on my dog, Jake)
Acknowledgements
So it’s been a couple of years since the release of my last novel, Playing My Love, and I am now back writing! Hooray! That’s not to say I haven’t written anything in that time – I just felt everything I wrote was missing something important. Turns out I am much better at producing a novel when my heart has been broken! Although this does not bode well for a happy love life/successful writing career combo, I know where to tap into for inspiration.
Anywho, I hope you enjoy it and that you take the time to leave a review when you’ve finished reading. I hope I don’t anger anyone with my ending this time, and if I do, my sincerest apologies. (Although FYI I have changed it from the original ending to avoid pissing everyone off!)
I don’t think anyone even reads this bit do they? Just in case they do, I need to thank a few people!
The beautiful model on the front cover, Jodie Goddard, who got me completely trolleyed during and after the photoshoot…what happened? How many bottles of fizz???
I obviously need to thank my mum for her never-ending support and love…I LOVE YOU MUM!
Massive thanks also go out to my main crew! Clare Lydon, who puts up with a LOT from me (and knows far too much!) Tam Adams for pointing out to everyone we meet that I’m an International best-selling author…cos that’s not embarrassing at all! My bestest friend ever Roxy (who also knows way too much, but loves me anyway!) Also thanks to Scott Campbell for waiting so patiently for our collaboration to emerge from my side…sorry! BIG love to my baby girl Marie Hickman, always my daughter! Thanks also for helpful research from Angela Ticehurst! And lastly I promised a mention to Vic Coulman who made me Godmother to baby Charlotte xxx
Peace, love and out xxx
CHAPTER 1
“The robin’s back!”
I looked up from destroying my toast with cold and unyielding marmite and peered out of the window to find said bird. Sure enough, there was a robin pecking at the old banana cake I’d put out last night.
“How do you know it’s the same one? They all look the same to me,” I mumbled, going back to trying to salvage my breakfast and deciding I’d done enough damage – it was time to put the knife down.
“Of course it’s the same one. They’re fiercely territorial for a start. This is almost definitely the same one that comes back every year.”
She sounded so sure, it was enough to convince me. I joined her at the window as I crunched my toast, shivering as I did so, and we watched the robin peck at the crumbs.
“I’m probably gonna be home late tonight. I’m pulling in the overtime I told you about, giving the café a deep clean.”
“Okay. Don’t work too hard Hanna.”
“I won’t.” I smirked. “Hey, maybe you could do some cleaning before I get home?”
She smiled good-naturedly at my teasing – it’d been well over a year since she’d done any kind of work around the house.
“Sure. How about I have dinner on the table for you as well?”
“Now that would be a nice surprise.”
I crammed the last of the toast into my mouth, said a quick goodbye, and ran out of the door with one arm in my jacket, the other holding my keys and phone. By the time I got to the door of my rusty old Fiesta, I’d tugged my jacket on in a bit of a haphazard way but could already feel the heat returning to my bones, despite it being early November. That was one of the worst things about living with a ghost – no matter how hot it was outside or how high the heating was turned up inside, the flat was always icy. Always at seven degrees centigrade. Not quite freezing, but cold enough to be constantly uncomfortable. I didn’t feel guilty at the relief that coursed through me with the return of heat, and as the engine turned on its first try, I had a feeling today was going to be a very good one.
I worked in a café on the beachfront, waiting tables and serving coffee and vinegary chips to tourists and locals. We were one of the lucky establishments that seemed to thrive whatever the season which meant I could pull in a regular forty five hours every week. The job was shit, the pay not much better, but it paid the bills just fine and I got to hang out with one of my best friends and favourite people ever, Freddie.
Freddie and I had met about five years ago on a dating website, and although the date had failed in romance levels, we’d hit it off instantly as friends. She was an incredibly cute boi that worked in the kitchen of Captain’s Café and had done since leaving school. She’d got me the job here, in fact. (Intended only as a temporary one until something better had come up. Yeah right.) I wish I could say Pete, the boss and owner, was as cool to work with, but he was simply a complete tool.
Whoa whoa whoa, okay, I hear what you’re thinking. I thought if I dropped it in casually enough, it might just get past you, but I suppose it does need some explaining.
Yes, my girlfriend is a ghost. I would like to point out that when I first started seeing her, she was very much alive and we enjoyed (well, sort of enjoyed) a physical relationship for just over four years before she passed. I saw it happen, saw her soul bleed sadly out of her body and shimmer uncertainly, as if it didn’t quite know what to do with itself. Her death had been the single most surreal experience of my life. After a short period of about two to three months, we kind of just readjusted and carried on, and if I’m completely honest? Mel was a lot nicer and easier to live with now than she ever was alive, and I know this sounds awful, but her death saved our relationship. Even she agrees with me on this.
I’d always been empathic to a certain level from a very young age. I knew things were going to happen before they did, I could always tell when someone was lying, and I ‘felt’ things. I’d sensed spirits before, but never seen any on this level, and certainly not conversed or joked with them. I’m certain it’s down to the circumstances surrounding her death and how I…no, that’s a story for another time.
So anyway, I’m not crazy, just to clear things up.
I got to work just in time for the start of my shift, and was greeted by a small friendly stray that had recently started hanging out around the café. We’d nicknamed him Danny after Danny Dyer, because he was cute and cheeky, but a little bit gangster at the same time. He ran off onto the beach after a brief petting and I frowned, worried that he might get picked up by the dog warden or something. But he was such a free spirit I wasn’t sure if he’d suit living within four walls. Maybe that was how he’d ended up as a stray in the first place? Who knew?
Pete’s car wasn’t outside the restaurant so I calmly went in the back way and washed my hands in the sink before going through to the front. A couple of our regulars were in already, an old couple sipping tea and looking dejectedly out of the window at the murky day beyond. I smiled gratefully at Fred as I joined her behind the counter, glancing at the attractive woman she was talking to, and doing a double take.
“Hey mate, thanks for…oh! Oh wow!” I stopped in my tracks as the sexy girl turned around and I realised it was my other best friend, Julianne. She’d had her long brunette hair chopped short a la Sharon Stone, and dyed a bright purple. It could easily have been a disaster of epic proportions on anyone else, but she somehow carried it off with incredible style.
“It’s too much, isn’t it Hanna? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?” she said defensively, touching her head. Now, Julianne had th
e most amazing Brummie accent (if I travelled the width and breadth of Birmingham, I’d never find another like it) and it got heavier when she was really upset or really enthusiastic. Like now.
“No, I actually love it,” I gushed as sincerely as possible, because I genuinely did.
“Yeah right!” (I always loved how her pronunciations became more exaggerated but tried not to smile at how she said ‘Yeah roight.’ It would only exacerbate the situation.) “To think I actually tipped Edward Scissorhands’ sister for scalping me! I’m not being funny, but she scraped my head so much with that lethal fucking comb of hers, which she probably sharpens every night by the way, you could plant bloody potatoes in the furrows she’s left.” She stared intently at a point directly in front of her as she mimicked the hairdresser, complete with hand actions, which did indeed look pretty brutal. “Scra-ping, combing, scra-ping, and then digging in to get better leverage, moving me this way and that. I’m scared to touch my head in case I touch brain matter and lose the ability to count or tie me shoelaces. Look!” Eyes wide and indignant (possibly down to my laughing freely at her now) she came over and bent her head to me, gingerly parting a couple of tufts to show an angry red scalp with raw areas very close to bleeding. My mouth formed an ‘O’ of sympathy for her genuine pain and I tried not to recoil.
“See? It looks like Freddie Krueger’s given me a fucking head massage!”
I scrunched up my face as I mulled over what to say, knowing she’d probably spent ages studying it from every angle in the mirror before coming here anyway. Gently ruffling her hair as I had Danny’s, I tried to reassure her.
“Ju, you look great. All hairdressers are a little over-zealous with their combs – it’s just how they are.”
“Over-zealous? Over…? I’ll have you know…” she spluttered, and I put a finger over her mouth to silence her.
“Hun, seriously, it looks amazing. Calm down and trust me on this, okay?”
We both seemed to notice at about the same time that Freddie had slunk into the kitchen without so much as a hello or goodbye to either of us. Ju’s hands came up as her face fell.
“Great! Just great! Do I stink or is it that I just naturally repulse her with my presence?” she hissed indignantly. Unable to give an answer, I gave her my most sympathetic face instead.
“Cup of tea?”
“Mug. And cake,” she mumbled grouchily, then threw herself into a chair while I got to work with a tea bag and some gluten free carrot cake that looked freshly made.
After I’d served her, a few more customers walked in so I left her to it. As I watched her happily chew away, she reminded me of a toddler who’d had a tantrum and was now quietly eating bribe sweets. It was cute.
I felt her pain, truly I did. She’d been crushing on Freddie for months now, but Freddie was getting more distant and withdrawn. It was a complete enigma to both of us, because on the outside all the little signs pointed toward a mutual attraction. There’d been a distinct lack of other girls on the scene, we now had a selection of gluten and dairy free foods available for customers (which we offered at a cheaper price to encourage sales, but Ju was one of a small percentage that was gluten intolerant) and there was always the fact that Freddie had snogged Ju’s face off a few months back.
However, for as stubborn as Freddie was being, Ju was just as persistent. A femme fatale in every way, she worked in a fashion clothing store in town. She was your stereotypical ‘doesn’t-look-like-a-lesbian’ lesbian, loved short dresses and high heels, and was prone to exposing her cleavage as much as was legal to. I couldn’t help but feel she’d tried butching up in an attempt to catch Freddie’s eye and was now kicking herself on the epic fail.
Now, I’d said before how I knew it was going to be a good day when my car started first time (most days it took about ten to fifteen attempts while trying not to flood the carburettor) but as the morning went on, I knew it was going to be more than that. A cyclone of expectant energy was swirling in my stomach, building up and up and up. Something big, or important was about to happen. When I glanced at the clock at 3.07 and the swirling stopped, similar to reaching the eye of the storm, I took a deep breath and picked up my mug of tea. All the customers in the café were quietly eating and drinking, chatting amongst themselves and nothing appeared out of the ordinary.
A couple of minutes later, a young woman with long blonde hair came stumbling up from the beach, carrying Danny in her arms. I put my tea down and suddenly became very interested, just as my mobile buzzed on the counter in front of me. I absent-mindedly answered it, all the while watching the girl with Danny.
“Hey mate, I forgot to mention when I was in earlier, there’s a beer festival next weekend and I was gonna see if you fancied going?” Ju asked, and I smiled.
“You want me to ask Freddie as well,” I stated, hearing laughter from outside as Danny attacked the blonde with wet kisses.
“Maybe she’ll relax in a more sociable environment? She did before.”
‘Before’ was the incident that had sparked the whole infatuation. ‘Before’ had been Freddie’s birthday when we’d all gone on a weekend trip to London. I sighed.
“Sure. I’ll ask her in a bit, okay? Look, I gotta go, love you, bye.” I hung up quickly, distracted by what was now going on outside. An older woman was angrily confronting the blonde, waving what looked like a bag of poo in her face? I rushed to the door, ready to try and placate things.
“…just disgusting!”
“Well I think kicking a dog is more disgusting, and I told you I’d clean it up but you didn’t give me a chance.”
I bristled instantly. She’d kicked Danny?
“You kicked my dog?” I found myself saying. They both turned to me, and now that I had the blonde lady’s attention, I suddenly felt the energy blossom out of my body and envelop me in a backwards hug. Being this close, I could see there was an attractiveness about her that shone out from within. She was far from plain looking, but there was something…sparkly about her. Yes, I think I was drawn to her in a way I didn’t want to admit, but was unable to deny at the same time.
“What is your dog doing running along the beach unattended?” The sour old lady addressed me now, and I mentally dared her to wave that baggy at me.
“I think you kicking my dog out-trumps him taking a dump on the beach, so thank you for clearing it up, but now I suggest you remove yourself from the premises with it before I call the police,” I said, my voice shaking. Her mouth opened and closed as she weighed up her options, and wisely she decided to back off, although she dropped the bag of poo on the floor as her defiant parting shot.
“Hey, thanks for that. I tried to calm her down on the beach but she was spitting feathers about it” the blonde said, looking grateful. Danny looked super comfortable sitting in her arms, his tongue lolling out to one side as he glanced lazily at me. He was in no hurry to jump down and I couldn’t blame him.
“No, my god, I should be thanking you. Hey Danny, you been getting yourself into trouble boy?” I moved forward and ruffled the grey staffy’s fur, catching the lovely scent of her perfume as I did.
“Oh, is he actually your dog?”
“Sort of. Well, not really at all, no. He just hangs out here a lot and we feed him and stuff. Can I offer you some coffee and cake as a thank you for kind of saving him?”
She smiled at me and a rush of those sparkles ran the entire length of my body. It was like standing on top of a wind machine as they whooshed over my skin, making every hair stand on end. For a second I just bathed in the feeling, a slight smile forming on my lips.
“Sure, that’d be nice. My name’s Sophie, by the way.”
“Sophie,” I repeated stupidly, then remembered the etiquette of introductions. “I’m Hanna.”
“Nice to meet you. So, should I tie him up out here or just let him go?”
I thought about it. Tying him up didn’t sound like something he’d tolerate happily, but I suppose I could try putting him in
my car. Worried now that the old lady might already be calling the RSPCA, I didn’t want to just let him run free. I asked her to wait while I ran inside for my keys, checking at the same time that none of the customers needed anything, then we led him over to my car and coaxed him in, being sure to wind the window down a little for fresh air to circulate. Danny snuggled down happily on the back seat, as if I did this for him all the time. I turned to Sophie and we smiled at each other for a few seconds, the energy sparkling between us. I took a deep breath.
“Okay, I hope you like gluten free carrot cake?”
“Perfect,” Sophie said.
Somewhere deep inside I knew this was going to end badly, but for once I ignored my feelings.
CHAPTER 2
By the time I’d prepared coffee and a generous hunk of cake for Sophie, I’d somehow managed to get myself under a little bit of control as well as trying to figure out a plan of action. I’d debated taking Danny home many times before but worried about how he’d react to Mel, and vice versa. Now though, it felt like the right time. However, despite the fact I’d just claimed responsibility for him, maybe it was down to him to decide if he wanted to stay with me, us, and it was something I was going to find out very soon. Then there was the small case of taking him to the vets to be chipped and wormed and checked over, as well as food and toys…
“Penny for them?”
I realised too late that I’d passed the cake and coffee to Sophie, continuing my thoughts while staring at her, and she was in return staring curiously back at me. I blushed and cleared my throat.
“Oh, sorry, I was just trying to figure out if I could afford to keep him and if he’d even stay with us. It’s a bit of a big thing to be taking on, really.” I knew I’d slipped up straight away by saying ‘us’ but I’d been caught off guard.
“Ah, boyfriend? Housemate? Other?”
“Other.” I chose carefully. She nodded and I was sure her brown eyes flickered across me in a quick check. My dark hair was cropped short (although not as short as Ju’s now was) and I’d probably been running a bit late this morning because of the amount of time spent styling my fringe. Unlike my best friend, I looked as typically gay as they came. I could probably be a poster girl for anything LGBQT because I just had ‘that look.’
