A Darker Kind of Love

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A Darker Kind of Love Page 5

by Angela Peach


  “They are so cute together,” Sophie whispered. “How long have they been seeing each other?”

  “This is kind of like their first date.”

  “Like us?”

  I smiled and gave her hand a soft squeeze.

  “Yeah, like us.”

  We were both still grinning like Cheshire cats as we walked into the pub, crashing straight into my friends just inside the door. There was a long pregnant pause as all heads turned to gawp at us. All five heads (and that was generously including the sour faced bar lady.)

  Inching forward to the bar, we casually checked out the décor of the place, which had a wonderful old feel to it with low beamed ceilings and worn tables and chairs. There was also a huge fireplace that dominated one of the walls, but only one sad looking log was burning inside it despite half a chopped tree being stacked around the hearth. A middle aged couple sat at a table near the window, and two elderly men nursed pints of dark ale at the bar, a packet of salt n vinegar crisps torn open sat between them.

  “Hi. Is the, er, beer festival in a different part of the pub?” I asked, noting the way the bar lady eyed us up and down with barely disguised disgust. I almost felt tempted to walk back out and not give her a single penny, but the stubborn part of me didn’t want to back down to such open bigotry.

  “This is the beer festival. We’ve got three guest ales on.” She tapped the three pumps in front of her and we all pretended to concentrate really hard at the ‘selection’ available. There was Blonde Witch, (which had a picture on the label that gave me a sneaky suspicion it was a recent Halloween leftover) Gobby Goblin and an obligatory jokey one, Knats Piss. Deliberating for far longer than was necessary, and noting that the only other things on tap were Fosters and John Smiths, we all universally decided upon the Knats Piss. Something in the way her face fell at seeing we intended to stay made me feel better, and when I handed over a twenty to pay, I cheekily said,

  “And one for yourself love.”

  She gave me a sour look, but neglected to say thank you. I shook my head as Sophie leaned forward and whispered, “I think she needs the bottle.” We both giggled stupidly, even more so when she returned and threw a meagre ten pence change on the bar in front of me.

  We headed over to the fireplace where there was a couple of comfortable sofas adjacent to it, and sat down (Ju taking great care as they were quite low, and her dress very short) but it was about as warm as our land lady. Well to be honest, I was alright, but I could tell the others were feeling more of the chill because Fred and Sophie kept their jackets on and Ju was rubbing her bare arms.

  “Excuse me, can we put some more logs on the fire? It’s really chilly,” I called out, still remaining pleasant. Sour chops pursed her lips.

  “Bill? Put a couple of logs on for the young ladies,” she hollered, as if it was the craziest request she’d had that night. One of the elderly gents sat at the bar put a crisp in his mouth before wiping the salt residue on his trousers and staggering off the bar stool across to the fire. He winked at us before chucking three on.

  “I hope that’s not her husband cos he won’t be getting any for a while after that little act of rebellion,” Fred remarked quietly.

  “I think he did it because he ain’t been getting any Fred. Look at her. I bet she’s forgotten how to smile,” Ju whispered, leaning forward with her hands outstretched to the fire in early anticipation of the heat.

  Sophie took a sip of her drink, looking uncertain at the taste and taking another.

  “It’s kinda liquoricey?” she said, scrunching up her nose. “But bitter at the same time. Odd.”

  “When I taste bitter liquorice, I always think of Knats Piss,” Freddie remarked sarcastically, having downed a quarter of her pint already. “Maybe it grows on you?”

  After finishing our pints of the Piss we decided to move onto the Gobby Goblin, unanimously concluding it was the same ale coming from both pumps, just with different names. We gave the Blonde Witch a go next, and struck lucky with a nice pale ale that was refreshing on the palette, and all decided to stick with that for the rest of the evening.

  The pub’s rush hour kicked in about half an hour later when a raucous group of four came in (although clearly a ‘local’ group) followed closely by another three and their two lurcher dogs. The bar lady grudgingly put on a cd (unsurprisingly, there was no jukebox for patrons) and the mellow voice of Michael Buble provided some background entertainment.

  “It’s so good to see Hanna out, isn’t it Fred?” Ju said, giving Sophie a sly wink.

  “I always come out. I’m usually the one that arranges going out,” I protested, knowing full well she meant out ‘with a date.’

  “Sophie, you must have made a really good impression to have got this far. We’ve been trying for months to get old misery guts to forget about M…”

  “Is it your round mate?” I interrupted, sitting forward and giving them both a look that I hoped said ‘DO NOT MENTION MEL TONIGHT.’ Fred was already on it, standing up with purpose.

  “Yeah, it is. Come on, I’ll help you carry them back,” she offered, holding out both hands to her. It was possible Ju’s heels made her lose balance, but I also thought it was equally possible that there may have been a bit too much enthusiasm in the pulling. Maybe it was due to a bit of both that caused Ju to fall into Freddie, clinging on tight with both arms around her neck.

  “Oh my god, you nearly had me over!” she squealed happily.

  “I caught you didn’t I? Same again guys?”

  “I don’t think I ever want to drink Knats Piss again,” Sophie said, looking at me. But her eyes had a private message for me, so all I heard was ‘I really want to be kissing you right now.’

  “Mm, me too,” I murmured to her, a dreamy smile on my lips. She looked a little confused by my random answer, but the message in my eyes must have been pretty clear because she put her hand on my knee, rubbing her thumb gently back and forth. I didn’t really notice my friends walk off to the bar – all I was aware of was this tremendous build-up of energy that was raging around all my erogenous zones. There was something about Sophie that enhanced my senses, making me feel alive and euphoric. In fact, we both looked so blissed out together sat on the sofa I wondered if people would think we were high on drugs.

  We were snapped out of our dreamlike state when four Blonde Witches and four shots were unceremoniously plonked on the table in front of us.

  “I think this is our last one guys. Just heard her saying she’s closing at eleven tonight.”

  “You’re joking? But it’s a Saturday night!”

  “No, we’re not joking. And the taxi’s booked for eleven thirty.”

  I looked at my watch – it was ten forty.

  “Wow. Guess we’d better make the most of these then,” I mumbled taking a generous gulp, although I was aware of Sophie’s hand a little bit higher on my thigh now with a firm promise of what could be. I found it so hard to control my heart rate as our eyes kept making contact, the connection between us was quite simply blowing my senses. She was perfect in every way! Funny, beautiful, witty, intelligent, interesting, engaging, sexy…the list was just endless. I wanted her badly and knew I was going to get very obsessed, very easily.

  The landlady rang the bell at eleven with more enthusiasm than she’d put into the whole evenings work, and we managed to drag it out next to the fire for an extra five minutes before being asked firmly to leave. Reluctantly, we stepped out into the freezing night and immediately huddled together for warmth. Freddie gave Ju her thick knit jumper and I watched with joy as, after putting it on, Ju turned to her and gave her a long, sensual kiss that was completely reciprocated.

  “How come you’re not cold?” Sophie asked, her teeth chattering next to me.

  “I’m used to it I guess. Snuggle in and we’ll share body heat,” I said, putting my arms around her. She wrapped hers around me and tucked her head into my neck. Yep, I was definitely warming up now. I felt her breath below m
y ear and then to my surprise, a flicker of her tongue, the gentle whispering of her lips against my skin. I held her tight, enjoying the sensations that were electrifying me. No one had ever had this kind of effect on me before and it was incredibly erotic, sensual, yet full of emotion at the same time.

  And then she pulled her head back just enough to search out my mouth with hers and that was when time simply stopped. It was a slow, deep kiss, our tongues teasing in and out, our lips bruising together, hands tentatively exploring through the thick layers of clothing. I pressed my body into her, my clit tingling deliciously as the friction from my clothing increased. One of my hands snuck beneath her clothing and slid around her soft waist, needing more desperately. I wanted to have her right here, right now and I knew she was feeling the same from the sudden urgency expressed in her kissing. She tugged on my bottom lip with her teeth and…

  BEEP BEEP!

  All four of us spun round, breaking apart in a confused daze at the sudden appearance of blinding headlights. When we realised it was our taxi (and that we’d been necking like teenagers for nearly twenty minutes) we hurried into the cab, all cooing over how warm it was. Fred and Ju carried on where they’d left off, while Sophie and I had to take a break since there was only enough room for three in the back seat and I’d taken the front. I tried to make small talk with the driver, but now my mind had entered panic mode. Mel was bound to be watching for me coming home and if she saw me walking in with Sophie, she’d know it had been a date. However, there was literally no way for us to get into the flats without being seen, and I couldn’t very well ask if she minded walking in separately. I really wanted to go back to hers, but how would I explain where I’d been to Mel tomorrow? Then there was the added stress of explaining why my flat was a no go area.

  I suddenly noticed we’d reached Fred’s flat and they were exiting the car.

  “Back seat’s ready for you now,” Ju called out to me, winking naughtily and somewhat jubilantly at me. I smiled tightly at her and transitioned to the back, trying not to look disappointedly at Sophie. I’d already sussed out that we weren’t going to be getting naked and having sexy time tonight, but I was completely distracted with how I was going to tell her this. She picked up on my dampened mood instantly.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, of course. Sorry, I’m just a bit drunk,” I said, squeezing her hand to try and reassure her. She stared at me for a second, obviously uncertain as to what had changed in the last twenty minutes to cool me off so much. I wanted to kiss her again, and could tell she wanted that and more, but I had to stop now while I was able to. However my lips still twitched slightly, aching for hers.

  “Okay, sure,” she smiled, respecting my decision. Her eyes searched mine for more of an explanation, but I had to look away in case I caved and kissed her again.

  The rest of the journey was spent in a strange silence that wasn’t quite uncomfortable, but it wasn’t entirely relaxed either. I knew she was confused, but I was still stressing about how to avoid walking into the building with her to try and make conversation.

  At the last minute I sat forward.

  “Um, would you mind dropping us off here please?”

  The taxi driver complied, and we got out of the car a couple of streets away from the flats we both lived in. Sophie linked her arm in mine and started to walk but I held back, forcing her to turn and face me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I…we can’t walk back together,” I said, my voice low as I tried to gauge her reaction. She tilted her head and frowned, crossing her arms across her chest defensively.

  “And why not?”

  “Because…because…” I struggled to think of a valid reason why, but none suddenly presented themselves. So I went with the truth. “Because we might be seen.”

  “Seen? By who?”

  “My ex? She, er, if she sees us together, she’ll kick off.”

  Sophie cautiously looked around, searching the shadows and bushes.

  “Are you kidding me? Is she stalking you?”

  I cringed.

  “Not exactly.”

  She frowned again, before the penny dropped and she covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Fuck! Don’t tell me you still live together?”

  “It’s not how it seems…”

  “But you broke up over a year ago! You said…oh man! I knew you were too good to be true. I thought you were drama free, Hanna. Instead, we’ve got to hide away in case your ex kicks off at you? No!”

  “Sophie, please, let me explain?”

  “Okay. Go ahead.”

  Oh. I wasn’t expecting her to say that. She stared at me, waiting for a response, but gave up and turned away from me when I failed to deliver.

  “Goodbye Hanna. When you man up to your ex, give me a call.”

  “Sophie, please? Don’t go?” I begged, chasing after her.

  “I’m walking back home now and you’re more than welcome to join me.”

  We were approaching the corner from which Mel would be able to see us and I was torn between following Sophie to make things right, or holding back to avoid having a row with Mel. It was inevitable that the latter would win, and I had to watch her walk away from me. I gave it one last desperate try.

  “Sophie? Don’t you think you’re over-reacting?”

  That worked. She stopped and turned around to face me, her eyes sad.

  “I can deal with you being friends with your ex, and I could probably even deal with you still living with her…if there was no drama involved. Shit, Han, I’ve been in a polyamorous relationship before. But you know what the difference is? There were no secrets and no hiding. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to tell me you still live together, but you kept it secret. What else haven’t you told me?”

  I couldn’t answer her because she was completely right. Seeing the defeat on my face, she shook her head, turned and continued to walk away. This time, I let her.

  I walked around for a good half hour before going in myself, and not to avoid suspicion of us coming back so close together, but because I needed to clear my head. My heart, on the other hand, was utterly distraught.

  CHAPTER 9

  “Why do you keep checking your phone?” Mel asked, and I cursed that she was suddenly so alert.

  “I haven’t heard from Fred or Ju and I’m hoping they’re okay. What are you, the phone police?” I snapped, unable to stop myself. I felt the temperature drop instantly, but I didn’t care. It was nearly three, I’d had no communication from anyone, and I was totally obsessing. I mean, totally obsessing. I literally couldn’t stop myself, and it went on like that all afternoon.

  I made myself an egg and bacon sandwich for my dinner then walked Danny, glad to be out of the flat for a while. I composed a few texts, none of which I sent, and toyed with the idea of letting Danny off the lead to see if he ran up to her room again, but even if he did I wasn’t sure what I’d say to her. I knew I was being impatient and that this was something she would need to digest (and yes, I was also aware she’d told me to call her when I’d manned up to my ex) but I felt so helpless.

  When I walked back into the flat, it felt a lot colder than normal. Mel was clearly sulking due to my lack of communication with her today, and this was confirmed by her absence for the rest of the evening. It was her way of punishing me for ruining our day off together, although I wasn’t sure what she expected from me in my hungover state?

  Danny also seemed a little unsettled, wandering around the room as if he was looking for something before returning to snuggle on my lap nervously. When I eventually caved and made myself a hot water bottle, I was so depressed by how things had turned out that I decided to just go to bed and get an early night. Mel still hadn’t reappeared, but the bed was like a block of ice. I called Danny up to lay next to me, fully appreciative of his warm furry body. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me shiver.

  But I slept terribly, waking up consta
ntly throughout the night so that by the time my alarm went off at seven, I was kind of relieved that it was morning. Yawning deeply, I shuffled to the kitchen and found Mel looking out of the window.

  “Morning. Sleep well?” She asked, a slight smile playing on her lips.

  “Ha fucking ha. Thanks for that. I mean it, really fucking nice way to start my Monday,” I snapped, making myself a strong coffee.

  “Ooh, someone’s woken up in a bad mood,” she teased, and I had to close my eyes to stop myself responding in such a way that would guarantee the rest of the week was as icy as last night. “So, did she text you then?”

  I froze before it clicked that she must mean Ju.

  “I’m sure you’d know before I did, so you tell me.”

  “Well, I didn’t hear any alerts, but that might be because you turned your phone off.”

  “So?”

  “So you never turn your phone off.”

  She was onto me already. This was not good news, but totally explained the overnight freeze.

  “Jesus, Mel, I had a hangover so I turned it off so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. Shame that didn’t happen.” I slammed my mug down on the counter and coffee sloshed out over my wrist and sleeve. “Great! Now I have to get changed and I still haven’t walked Danny, so I’m gonna be really late. Thanks.” I stalked off to find a clean top, knowing she’d be waiting for me in the bedroom.

  “What’s going on?” Her previous playfulness was gone, and annoying as it had been, was still preferable to the mood I knew she was in now.

  “Don’t act like you don’t know. I felt like I was sleeping in a freezer last night.”

  “I can’t help that I’m a ghost, Han. If I could make it sub-tropical temperatures in here for you, I would.”

  “Really?” The sarcasm dripped off my tongue and I walked defiantly through her on my way out.

  “What do you want me to do? Float off into the unknown just so you can get some sleep?”

  I bent down to put Danny’s lead on him, glad she couldn’t see the hope on my face.

 

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